Getting Over A Broken Heart

• You find out your bf/gf is cheating on you with your best friend.
• That sick feeling you feel when your bf/gf becomes more and more distant and you know something is wrong.
• That frustration and hurt you feel when the fights with your bf/gf become more frequent and more destructive.
• The lightning bolt shock that takes your breath away when the person you love tells you they don’t want to date you anymore.
• The humiliating feeling that comes over you when you hear the one you love say, “Let’s just be friends.”

1. Be careful...don’t date destructive people to begin with.
2. Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain.
3. Immediately take your broken heart to God.
4. Take heart, you won’t die.
5. Don’t overreact and embarrass yourself.
6. Talk to someone who cares.
7. Give yourself time to heal.
8. Learn lessons from the experience.
9. Don’t overanalyze.
10. Don’t go into rebound dating.
11. Let go of mementos.
12. Keep yourself busy by giving to others.
13. Get into exercise/eating right.
14. It’s mostly about you, not your ex
15. Move on

Be ready for next week because these 15 bits of advice could rock your world. In the meantime, if you have any stories or thoughts on these 15 points, please comment on them now!

Thursday, Jan 10, 2008 - 12:40:56 AM
..my hearts been broken so many times and i cant get over it i cant keep any guy in my life without horrible drama and fights:( the only thing ive been told to do was suck it up and get over it but i know thats not the answer im to young for this you know?
- comment left on DMLive MySpace by ~ Elizabeth

Thursday, Jan 10, 2008 - 12:18:15 AM
Your blog about broken hearts was amazing dawson. i absolutly love your talk show it moves me in so many ways you have no idea..... Semper Fidelis
- comment left on DMLive MySpace by ~ Gregory W

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 10:38:27 PM
This is a really good topic. I have had my heart broken many of times. I have even started cutting because of it. I have stoped the whole relationship thing because of it. I guess I will just stay single until some guy can show me that all guys aren't the same. ~Britt~
- Brittany

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 2:33:37 AM
Great advice Dawson. I jsut got out of a relationship (2 weeks shy of being 6 months) it's been a little over 3 months since the break up and I still find myseld wanting to get back with him. We've been up and down in our rocky relationship now we're just friends. I broke up with him because he was just being a straihgt out bum. Failed senior year, wasn't going to graduate or go to college, broke, no job, on dates, I would pay for everything, I drove everywhere since his license was taken away because of speeding plus he was a big smoker, weed and all. So I gave up and but it took me a while to see that he wasn't going to change then in 3 months he picked himself back up finished highschool, doing community colelge now, works at an internship for a big company, his life is pretty much together. I don't know what to do Dawson. Should I or should I not get back with him? I've been meaning to talk/call you for the longest time but I don't know. I listen every week to you on the radio. You're a great man who's given so much good advice. God bless you and thank you for all you do and all the advice you give to us young people.
- Margie

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 1:43:48 AM
i agree with all those steps especially the last one.moving on is the most important thing to do.there was a reason for the break up and if you dont move on you will still want to be with that person and you will just become an on-and-off couple.
- Amanda

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 1:39:00 AM
Yes, unfortunatlly broken hearts exist, and are very painful. There are many ways to deal with it. Good ways and bad ways. The easiest thing to turn to is the bad way, such as cutting. Not a good idea. It leads to major depression and losing more relationships. It might not be so easy but turn to the good way. Such as building a stronger relationship with your friends and family. Second, the person that caused your broken heart has moved on, i suggest you do the same. Forget about that person and enjoy life. Life is to short to regret. Do your best and be who you want to be! - victoria
- victoria

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 1:37:22 AM
all things points are very great to start with, expecialy the taking your problems to god which i myself have done and now im way more closer to god then i have ever been in my life. heartbreak is horrible. and im still getting over my first real love, we shared everything to gether and then i found out the truth and i ended it, it was the right thing to do i know that but i also know that i loved him, and at one point he definatly loved me. i still want him and he says he still wants me, but i know that it most likly wont work out in the end and my heart is still mending, but bits and parts of me tells me its all gunna be okay. but sometimes i just want to breakdown and bawl my eyes out, which i have done alot. it still is hard to move on and i wont allow myself to until i absolutly know what i want and i am absolutly ready, i am really looking forward to reading this. it sounds very helpful.
- courtney

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 1:29:04 AM
its been 9 months since it ended.. and i still get depressed about it. when it ended it hurt so much worse than it sounds.. i never knew i could feel that way before. ive asked god countless times to help me and have even gone to my weakest point in life where i just fall and cry all night but for some reason nothing seems to happen to help me improve and i just really need help letting go..
- emily

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 1:28:45 AM
i think if we would take time out after a relationship then we would have more fun on our next relationship
- dani

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 1:00:11 AM
HI dear Dawson Macallister i am tryning to call you i have alot problem i have difficalt situation idon not what to do mybe yoy can help
- Sharif Haji-Ali

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 12:59:04 AM
WELL IT DOES TAKE TIME TO HEAL OR MEND, BUT LOVE IS AMANY SPLENDERD THING. WHILE A BREAK UP CAN BE HEART BREAKING, IT IS ALSO A TIME TO LERN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. AND REALIZE THAT IF THIS DIDNT WORJ OUT WITH HIM/HER THAT IT WONT WORK WITH SOMEONE ELSE THE SAME WAY.ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YUR LIFE IS ABOUT YOU AND NOONE ELSE.MOVING ALONG WITH YOUR LIFE IS A PART OF HUMAN NATURE. IT SOMETIMES HURT VERY BADLY.AND AT TIMES YOU DO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR, BELIEVE ME I HAVE BEEN THER MANT TIMES. AND FINALLY I DECIDED MY LIFE WASNT GOING TO BE LIKE THIS, AND I TURNED IT AROUND,AND YES GOD IS ALWAYS THERE NO MATTER WHAT TEH PROBLEM, YU KNOW , IF YOU DENY GOD, BEFORE YOU OR YOUR FRIENDS, HE WILL ALSO DENT YOU FEOM THE HEAVENLY FATHER. I AM A BI MALE SO THIS TOPIC IS A TOUCHY ONE FOR ME, I HAVE HAD A HARD LIFE FROM IN WHICH I HAVE LEARNED TO ENDUREM, AND STAND UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE, AND IF YOU BELIEVE, THEN LIFE IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR IMPROVEMENTS.AND I DONT KNOW IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN TO A WEDDING, BUT AS THE PASTOR MOST COMMMONLY WILL SAY THIS,," LOVE IS LIKE A CIRCLE. IT IS A NEVER ENDING CIRCLE NEVER TO BE BROKEN.".. AND THAT I DO TRULY BELIEVE IN .. AND IF YOU MEET SOME ONE AND IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THAN THAT CIRCLE IS NOT TO BE BROKEN, IT IS A NEVER ENDING THING.... BRIAN T,
- BRIAN T,,

Wednesday, Jan 9, 2008 - 12:55:56 AM
Well basically, I broke up with my boyfriend in early December, we dated for 10 months and a year all together. I thought it would be easier to just not love him anymore because I didn't feel I was gettin much of his attention being his girlfriend anymore. Well, it wasn't. In fact even being broke up a month, I'm still in love with him. He came over a couple days before Christmas and we got back together for a couple hours, literally!then he pulled me a side and said hed be busy til New Years and he didnt want me to feel abanded, so we'd start over new in the New Year. I believed him, but it still hurt. We ended up having a big fight only a few days later, where words were tossed around that I didnt mean, only taking up for myself. He told me recently thats its been a month since its ended, and hes not in love with me anymore. That killed me, cause as hard as it is, im still in love with him even though i made the mistake. you dont just get over someone that fast. well hes 17 and i'm 15...but no matter what anyone says i really do believe i loved him. being a sophomore in highschool i know ill find someone else, but i dont want to right now, and i kno thats normal, but i just want him back so badly. we were each others firsts...at least well i kno he was mine, and that makes it even harder to let go. i dont think i exactly regret having sex with him, cause at the time i was really in love with him and i wanted it to be with the guy i loved. i jus want him back, we're hardly on talking terms, so if non the less i wanna b friends...it kills me. so teen girls mainly, i know what ur going thru, and i wish u the best! God bless, Tara
- Tara

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 11:28:15 PM
I may not be all that special to most people and i definately have my faults but one thing i know for sure is that im human. We all go through so many things that we couldnt even begin to explain. We know there are people going through the same thing but we still feel like we are alone in what we go throught. Im not one to say that I have fallen in love because even if I have how would i know. For all anyone knows its just a crush or a fling but i know i care and wouldnt want anything to happen to that person. Things happen for a reason, what that reason is we dont always know or may never even realize it was related, but one thing is for sure it is the trueststatement of them all. Love does hurt but thats part of knowing what love really is. We have to go through these things and get on with them in order to know what we truely have right infront of us. Look around. How many of you have a really good friend of the opposite sex that 1. Is always there when you need to talk. 2. Would have your back if someone was messing with you. 3. Makes you feel like someone actually gets you. 4. Is the first person you think of in almost any instance. Think about it. Look around you and notice what you have. Stop taking it for granted and do something with what you got. If you dont they may not always be there and you would never even have known.
- kittykat

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 11:14:17 PM
My former pastor gave an excellent bit of advice about finding a mate. He said to run as hard as you can for God, to look around on that road you're on & see who's running along with you, then check out *those* people. He also noted it wasn't wise for ladies to choose a man who was behind them on the road, since the man is meant to be the Spiritual leader in a relationship. (He said to choose one who was at least running beside you, if not in front of you willing to help you move along in your run.) I think a good bit of my problem is that the relationship I'm mourning was with a man who'd never known what true, Godly love was. He was a new Christian at the time, but he was running so hard for God, it took my breath away! (It helped that our singles dept. was studying how to conduct a Godly relationship!) He was in his mid-30s, had had 2 failed marriages, had never had a successful relationship (one that ended on good terms), & believed he was nothing short of "damaged goods." He was just learning what REAL love was according to Scripture. When we became friends, I started praying for God to prove him wrong --- to send him a woman who would show him he wasn't just somebody's trash, that he *could* experience a Godly relationship. I never expected God to make me that woman! It seems He did, & I can't let go of that. There were miracles that happened, seeming to assure us this was right, even before we were sure what we wanted. Also, I am 100% certain that "he" will never pursue another relationship if ours isn't reconciled. He said so, & I know him well enough to know he means it. While it's not my responsibility, I still want his girls to have a strong Christian role-model in their life. They see me as a second mom. If God truly made me to love him, WHY, if I'm not meant to stay with him? It seems too complex to think it'd only be for a time with the kids' hearts involved, you know? The reason I'm posting this here, knowing that most of you are teens or young adults is b/c I know many of you out there already feel like "he" did --- like damaged goods --- for one reason or another. Maybe you've "been with" too many people. Maybe you don't want to let go of someone b/c you don't believe anyone else will have you. For me, it's the opposite: I don't want to let go of him partly b/c I know he will believe that about himself again. I hope some of this made sense.
- Blue Grace

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 11:07:21 PM
i'm still trying to fix my heart
- elizabeth

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 11:06:55 PM
The one thing I want to stress is God! I don't feel that it is stressed enough. God has a plan for each and every one of us (Jeremiah 29:11). We need to look at it with that attitude that Christ is intervining for our best interest so that he can lay his plan down for our lives. It may be that he is using that relationship to get your attention, to see that we need to trust our lives completely to God. As hard as we try we will always fail at trying to plan our lives out the way we want it because God knows best. The other thing I want to say is, from personal experience, to try to not get angry at God for what happens. "He gives and he takes and it makes us stronger" ~Sanctus Real. Someday you will look back on what happened and you will see that you were blind but that it was for the best and you will then see why things happened the way it did. It is usually our place to understand the why's but to know that God does and thats all that matters. He is truly looking out for your best interest... he does not get a kick out of see us suffer otherwise HE WOULD NOT HAVE SENT HIS SON TO DIE ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SIN!
- Katie

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 11:05:45 PM
i have some ideas on how to get over a broken heart because i have experienced it many times in my life starting with my failed marriage of two years to both a physically & emotionally abusive spouse, however, before i met him, i hadn't dated anyone in over ten years because i just didn't have time or energy to have a relationship with anybody! i have found that since i met my friend Brian and we've become friends with benefits, he's allowed me time for my heart to heal which is wonderful. so what i'm really saying is that you can bounce back from heartbreak and learn how to trust somebody of the opposite sex again!
- maureen

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 10:57:42 PM
I have had my heart broken a couple of times now. By someone thats not even mine. I have feelings for him more than he knows and all he wants his friends with benefits. Its hard just accepting being friends. Cause i care for him soo much.
- Heather

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 10:56:51 PM
I have had my heart broken once by the one person who i truely cared and loved.We have been together ever since i just started high school,I was 15 or 16 at the time.Well I can honestly say it hurts alot to have a broken heart when u found a true love at that age.Well what can i say is that we have been together about 5 or 6 years.In my junior year he asked me to marry him and i said "YES!".I was so happy and in love.All i cared about was being with him and always having someone i can rely on to help me throught the toughest times.Well we have been engaged i would say three years about at the time.In the time of all that people would say i was to young to get married and i have a full life ahead of me and when they would tell me all this i really didnt care what they had to say because i was in love with the one person who showed me how much he loved me and together we can beat anything.I was his first love and he was mine.But by the time i was turning 19 all of a sudden things started going down hill with him.He had changed alot with his whole attitude towards me and us fighting about the stupidest things,and always around each other.Well one nite he calls me and wanted to talk to me about somethings between us,so that nite he came over and we sat down and he started talking to me about how things were not working out and he said we wanted to be frineds.Well at that point in the nite i was crying my eyes out and broken into a shattered glass.I couldnt believe what had happen to us,all the memories and time we had together all of a sudden gone.Yah i was broken for a long time until i finally had to get back up on my feet and started to make changes in my life so i can jsut forget about him and about us.So i finally accepted god back into my life,started to see a christain counselor,and hangingout with more of my friends,and with my family supporting me i was finally not afraid of just moving on.It took me about a year and half to get over him but with all the support from friends and family i was finally able to let go of him.And i have to say is that i think the whole time i was broken GOD was helping me through the hard times that i would think of him and how much i missed him. So I guess what to do int he situation keep urself busy with other things and move on.It will take time but u will get there and soon enough things will get easier when the time goes by when ur not thinking of the one u love but about the time u have left to enjoy ur time being single and being with friends who u never got to hang out with.it about u and not him.And all that guy can do is when he does see u enjoying ur time being single and happy he will soon realize how bad of a mistake it was to break ur heart. And to this day a year and a half im doing great and im getting out there and meeting new friends.And finally starting to date.And as for him we have finally became friends.Im glad we are but i could never go back to what we had cause he was the one to break my heart,and no matter what he says about love and caring,thats all in the past and its time start a whole new chapter in my life.No matter what i will always have that certain kind of care and love for him,but not he kind that i wanna be with him. -Jessica C.
- Jessica C.

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:06:48 AM
i think that every single one of those steps are very important. but the one that i favor is taking your problem to God. He solves all our problems and those times, when u have to rely only on him, it brings ur relatoinship w/ God much closer. but over all, dawson, yes. all of those steps are vital to recovering.
- cj

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:06:26 AM
This is good advice!! its been almost a year and i'm still getting over my ex. He dumped me for my friend. And my friend didn't want me to know about it. So i had to hear it from someone else. I still get nervous when i see my ex. i realized he's not the right one for me...
- Sophia

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:05:03 AM
I'm still recently recovering from a broken heart. Having a broken heart sucks real bad. It's very hard to get over it. It's hard to trust people after your hearrt has been broken. I'm still trying to trust people again. It can seem after your heart gets broken, whether by a guy or a girl, that they just used you. It hurts, and leads onto suicide. Which suicide shouldn't be part of it. It sucks.
- Samantha

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:04:26 AM
I think all this points are very helpful, but the most important one is definitely # 3. It is very important to go to God after you've had a bad relationship. God is the ONLY one who will heal your broken heart.
- Osman G.

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:03:41 AM
hey dawson. To be honest i never get heart broken so i'm glad that i don't have the kind of drama bf/gf...so now it's me and my soul lol. i like ur show man.keep up. help young kids although i'm still kid.
- khalid

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:03:25 AM
I think those are really good steps to getting over a broken heart, and i have tried one or two of the steps i have tried taking my hear to god and talking to somebody that cares and it really helped alot.
- stacey

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 3:02:45 AM
to britany...oh my gosh! that is so sweet of you, just to see that someone would like to help other girls just because. thats truly amazing!!!...... but my favorite one is #1. girls relaly need to realize and pay more attnetion to thee guys that date. Its not all about a pretty face! so many girls at my school, thats where they went wrong in the first place
- rissa

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 12:28:35 AM
i've had somewhere around nine mentionable boyfriends. but the last one, the tenth, is probably the most mentionable. the reason being we dated the longest of all of them. we were dating since october 1 of 2006 and we broke up on october 22 of 2007 so we were dating for a little over a year. he was there when i moved in with my aunt because i hated my dad, and he was there when my dad died. i've been stupid with emotions befor but i really thought this time would be different because he and i have been friends since forever,he's always liked me, and he's one of my three main friends. like he really did and still does love me but he broke up with me because my aunt would never let me do anything with him or any of my friends. she thinks i'll do something stupid with my friends like sex or drugs but im not dumb like that. my dad died because he got pneumonia and his body was so overrun with smoking drinking and drugs that he went into cardiac arrest and died. thats why i am going to stay away from drinking and just plain dumb stuff. but she always thinks that i'll get physical with him or somthing so i never got to do anything. and there was this other girl that i know he liked a lot more than just friends, whom i became insanely jealous of. he said i just didn't trust him enough but that wasn't it, i trusted him... i didn't trust her! he lives in the next town over so he would come "into town" to visit me and his friends. but it got so bad that he would come into town and i would be somwhere or eating so he would go to this other girls house before i knew he was in town and she would tell him to not even call me because i was boring and she didn't like me. so she wouldn't let him use her phone... but he did have a cell phone!!! so he broke up with me and it hurt so much because i reall really REALLY let him in. not that i had sex with him or anything but i really loved him and he broke my heart.so i really don't know what to do with myself, but remeber girls and boys who have lost loves cookie dough is your friend.
- K@tie

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 12:24:25 AM
I can't wait to read all of these upcomming blogs!!! I broke up with my bf but i still like him and it is really hard not to go back with him but i know i cant for all that he has done to me!!!
- jessica y.

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 12:23:02 AM
I had my first boyfriend in the begining of November and we dated for almost a month. Well, first of all, i met him on this Christian community board called shoutlife. He was a Christian. He talked me into driving down to meet him and i did. He turned out to be the person he was, but basically, he used me for my body. Then he broke up with me a week after that. I regret meeting him, but i don't regret driving down there. The thing that has helped me cope with my broken heart is seeing a Christian counselor and talked to her about it. I encourage anyone that has a broken heart...talk to someone you trust about it. It helps to talk to people.
- Katie

Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008 - 12:12:52 AM
I broken some hearts and I recieved some broken hearts. the last relationship I broke up with ____ .and the week later I had out he was asking my friend if she would go out with him! that made me so mad at the next time I saw he I just wanted to hurt he and her. the next time i went the church two of my friends came up to me and said to me _____ here and with _____ in the back of the church. so i went the ask ____ as still my friend! and when I got back there they ran from me and i ran after them when i caught them i ask if she was my friend not a back stabber!
- brittani

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 11:45:04 PM
Mr. Dawson, I heard your show for the first time tonight and it hit my hart hard to hear others were suffering with the same turmoil in their life that I am. It only scares me that they are much younger than I am and so early in their life. At the age of 31 I admit I don’t have a clue what to do or how to deal with the devastating events I am facing. I was in a 13 year relationship and a 10 year marriage to my childhood sweetheart. She was my first and I was her only intimate partner ever till about three months ago. Let me give you some history to set the base line. We met in church, I was there for her when she came to me and said she had problems with her dad’s behavior at home. We ran away together, her at 15 and me at 17. I took the role to be her provider and support till she turned 18. I stayed true to my word at her 18th birthday I told her she was free to choose if she wanted to marry me. She said yes. I felt it wasn’t right to keep her from her parents now she was an adult. We invited her mom and dad to the wedding. Her mom came and the father vowed to kill both of us for exposing him. I saw the manipulative involvement of both of them many times in the past 10 years but I felt our relationship was strong enough to survive it. She stood by my side in sickness and in health, good and bad, happiness and sadness. I had a near death illness in 2002. She pulled me through it. I lost a great portion of my mental recall and when I got out of the hospital she kept telling me she didn’t even know who I was anymore. It was for the better though. She tells me how I was verbal and emotionally abusive at the drop of a hat. It took about a year for her to get comfortable with the idea that guy died and I was keeping to my vow to be a better man as I rebuilt who I was. Every since, all I could really remember of my relationship with her, I felt I was the luckiest man alive with the best woman I could have ever asked for. Her parents never gave up trying to tear us apart. Till about two years ago I got a call from my Grandfather who raised me, to come to Arkansas to care for him till he passed away in March 2006. I asked if she would leave her parents and our past life behind and get a new start. She agreed, I also wanted to leave behind involvement with the drug life her mom introduced to her daughter while staying with us a few years earlier. We were clean for over a year when my grandfather passed away. After his death we took over the home he was living in and got a place for our grandmother she wanted. Finally for the first time we had a home of our own, great jobs, new vehicles, and the best relationship we had ever had. I am a highly respected professional with a career in a security field. I have kept my involvement with any illegal activity very minimal to protect my career and our future. In September we met a guy who said he didn’t know any life but dealing drugs and criminal involvement. When he came to us saying he wanted out of that kind of life, we discussed it and agreed to rent him a room out in the country at our house. We figured we could show him a different way to live. I got him a job, and took him down into town to work every day on my way in to work. My wife would usually pick him up on her way home from her work. My wife suggested we loan him the money to pay off his fines with the courts so he could get his drivers license back. He then could drive the van his mom gave to work and back. I agreed after I got back from a business trip we would take care of it. When I returned I noticed the signs of drug use again but nobody knew anything about it. So I let it slide and took out the loan to clear up his courts and said he needed to pay every week till it is paid off then I planned to have him move on now that he had a chance to make it like any one else. Two weeks went by with excuses why he was broke and my wife seemed to be distant sense the trip. I suspected what happened but didn’t want to confront her; I wanted to let her tell me when she felt strong enough to. On December 12 2007 she came to me and said she was pregnant. We had wanted a baby for the entire relationship but I wasn’t able to provide her with one because I was an undiagnosed type 1 diabetic till two years prior when I had a second near death event and was hospitalized with a blood sugar count of 932. I had been on insulin for two years so she tried to tell me it was mine. I figured that no matter if it was or not I wasn’t going to question it then. I was the happiest guy in the world, I figured it would come out if my fears were true, but for now let her be happy. I walked out on the porch and told the roommate if any more drugs came in the house who ever brought them was gone no, exceptions, this baby was going to get every chance I could provide for it. And just to put an end to the scenario I felt had taken place. Giving my wife and I a chance to start the new life right. The next day she kissed me good bye before work and reassured me to cheer up I was going to be a dad, she would see me after work. I went and bought a bassinette for the baby and at lunch was going to drop it off at home as a surprise. As I pulled in I got her message saying “the baby is his, I’m so far gone you will never find me, I wont ever be back”. That was December 20th 2007. I never heard her voice again. I reported her missing and she answered for the officer and told him she left for fear of her life. And she was ok and not coming back. I attempted to contact her, find her, let her know I already knew about the affair but it didn’t matter we could make it work, just please think of the baby’s safety. Not a word out of desperation I called her mom to see if she had heard from her and if she was ok. Her mom blew me off saying that she is safe now. But swearing she didn’t know where she was. They had no money no place to stay and I feared he would get back into drugs causing her to lose the baby. Every attempt to call or text her Josh replied a few times trying to act like her telling me to go away. Finally on December 27th I got a lead she was at her mother’s house in NY. Still not a spoken word from her. So I told her mom I was coming to NY to give her the chance to fill out the divorce papers non-contested to have her freedom. If no dialog no chance to repair things so it was the only option I knew of. Her mom convinced her that I was coming to hurt her and had her file a false police report to get a restraining order issued. Then timed it so I would get served on December 31 after the courts closed with the subpoena to appear and answer to the allegations on January 2nd 2008. With no other options I made the last minute arrangements and appeared before the courts. The statements were so painful she made it could destroy me, as well as my career. Plus the cost of appearing and not being able to work from constantly worrying about the baby and to know she was safe. Almost destroyed me, along with the hurt of losing the only companion I had ever known since I was a teen. I found no purpose to live. She had made me out to the worst terror ever possible. The doctors told her now I am on insulin there isn’t any threat of anger spells resulting from high blood sugar. And for over two years there wasn’t even one incident of me even yelling let alone violence. The doctor also did the test to tell if I could be the father of the baby. The results were 98% possible. When I told her mom to let her know it could be mine and I wanted to talk to her about what we planned to do now. No the response. Finally in the court my council let me know she lost the baby, had a miscarriage. It is now January 7, 2008 and every thing I had to live for just three weeks ago has been striped away and there is no real hope for a future. Still not even one word from her. Here is where I don’t know where to go from here. She won’t give me a divorce and let me move on, she won’t even say a word to me and she is telling everyone we know all these lies about me. I don’t have anyone to talk to no where to turn. I don’t understand how someone could do something like this someone who you just spent 13 years as best friends and companions. With out even a word. All I can say is avoid the influence of drugs, and never put the wolf in the hen house, if someone hasn’t helped their self by the time they are in their twenty’s then more than likely you cant help them, you will just be the next victim. Man can break anything he wants but only god can put it back together again. Sometime the greatest form of love is to let go. Just hopefully you won’t have to sacrifice everything along the way before you come to see that. Look after what looks after you. Try to find the beauty in what you had and learn from the mistakes. Most of all try to avoid the mistakes in advance, so years later they don’t haunt you. Trust that God has a plan. You will hear this when you are ready to I know every day I have to remind my self there is a reason to try. I know you may not want to but remember to pray for the other person is they don’t come back, after all now they have to fill your shoes in that relationship. If you did right those will be a big pair to fill. Lost from love, Merry Christmas Ken of Arkansas
- Kenneth E C.

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 2:23:32 AM
Girls i know that it may be hard ! but i belive in u just as much as dawson dose ! i know u are most likly thinking this girl dose not even know me and know what i am going through ! well i have had my heart broken twice! the first time my ex-boyfriend cheated on with my bestfriend .we dated for a year.it ws the hardest thing i had to deal with .my second heart brake was the hardest we dated for 6 months he was my "frist"! he broke up with me to go out with my friends big sis.well the whole time we were dating he was making out and cheating on me with her ! all i have to say is if u put ur mind to it,u can do it! it will be hard but u can do it ! it took me 2 mounth to get over my 2 heart brake and a year for my first! do not blame your self. he dose not know what he is missing! if u advice or help email me at _____ or add me on myspace my last name is _____ ! i am more then willing to help! and the Top 15 things will help just try !ok keep ur head up and keep smiling and think possitive! LOVE! PEACE! LIVE!
- brittany

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 1:51:02 AM
Thats all good advice but its deff not as easy as it sounds. Ive had my heart broken many times by the one i love. Before him I used to be so different. I never showed ne kind of emotion. Not even at funerals. Its crazy how i cud just hold in tha tears until i got home alone. I hated ppl seeing me cry. Now days its like i cant stop crying or if not crying, i cant stop feeling heart broken, sad & depressed. Ive been goin thru this 4 almost 2 & a half years. Wen me & my ex 1st started talkin i never thot nething wud realy hapn w/ us. I jus thot we wud talk 4 a few days then stop. He wanst tha type at all 2 have or even want a gf. He was tha real fine guy that all tha girls wanted, great personality, hes got goals, realy good n sports, & is really tha whole package. I cud go on for hours. But suprisingly we kept talkin & about 2 months later he asked me 2 b his gf. Wel we wer doin realy good til 5 months n2 tha relationship he had 2 move. I broke up w him bcuz i thot it wud b 2 hard 4 us 2 b 2gether since we wudnt c each other that much& i was scared he was gna meet some1 & break up w/ me 4 her or somethin. So 4 a few months after that we stil talked alot & stil acted as if we wer 2gether. Then as time passed he stopped callin as much then stopped callin all 2gether. He told his friend 2 tel me i need 2 move on. About 4 month later i seen him somewher & tha feelings came bac, i forgave him. Ever since then we have been off & on. Like we wil be doin good 4 a few months then somethin wil hapn & we'l stop talkin all 2gether. & its always his decision. & i alwayz take him bac. He told me he loved me once then a few months later wen we had stopped talkin he said he doesnt kno wat love is so he didnt love me....I realy wana move on but ther r SOOO many reaons that r stopping me...
- Amanda

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 1:41:04 AM
Speaking as a senior, I find it humorous to look back at myself through out the past four years. I dated this boy my entire freshman year and when we broke up I thought that was the worst pain I could ever feel. Since then I've dated the cheaters, the liars, and the straight up jerks. It isn't that they're known for that, I honostly think I just have bad luck. I felt as if I had done a fine job though moving on and not having hard feelings. One of my best friends is actually one who left me for another. I was proud of myself up until this year. There had always been a guy who kept the hope in me alive. That hope for love, the hope for the high school sweet heart. He was my best friend. The one who always made me laugh, and the one who I could make laugh. Cliche I know, but from the first moment I talked to him- I liked him. This past summer we realized that this was our senior year and next year we'd be going to different colleges. So we took a stab at dating and I was never happier. But all good things must come to an end. He said he just wanted to go back to being friends and I think that is the hardest break up of all... the one where there is no real reason, things just don't work out. It's been about 5 months and I've gotten better although things are never going to be like they were before. The 15 steps are great but I think number two will always be the hardest one. I agree with Jonathon. Priding myself on being tough, I normally just suck any pain and move up but with emotional pain, it's not as easy. I applaud those who can cry about it, those who can shed the tears without closing themselves off. To those, I give kudos and those are the ones who will be "getting over a broken heart"
- Elizabeth

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 1:34:23 AM
i so wish i would have seen this a whole lot sooner. this is great advice and i suggest everyone take a close look at it and their lives. love is hard and you will be hurt. you will fall in and out of love and as humans we need to realize that this is simply reality. if you are reading this blog in time for it to really affect you, take his advice. i personally had to learn these things on my own and i made a majority of mistakes by not doing the things on this list. God Bless. it will get better i promise. kasey
- kasey

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 1:21:50 AM
Hey Dawson. I think this blog is really helpful, but I'm afraid it might only be helpful for now. I'm slowly getting over my ex-boyfriend, but it hurts seeing him with his new girlfriend everyday at school. I know it's silly, but I loved him a lot and I still sort of do, but all I really want is closure. I don't know how to approach him without scaring him off or without him thinking I'm still crazy about him. Any advice?
- KD

Monday, Jan 7, 2008 - 12:57:34 AM
My boyfriend actually broke up with me like 30 min ago... he would always say he loved me, and i liked him so much. it hurts to know that he doesnt like me anymore, and he hasnt since last friday! he told me he just wanted to be friends... and it killed me. i told my two friends... and i dont no wat else to do..... if u have any advice, e-mail me PLEASE!!! - thank you sooo much!
- Victoria

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 11:10:19 PM
I think that #15 is the most importent, because i know a couple that has broken up and gotten back together about 5 times in 3 months. I try to tell them to move on, but they arnt!
- aj

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 11:09:16 PM
The 15 bits of advice are very helpful. Thank you. My heart was broken when my dad left me and never came back. I thought I would never get over it. It happened around the time you posted the blogs about "Father Hunger" I did not want that to happen to me. I knew I was better than that. It took time. Lots of time. But I got over it. I got help from friends and family that knew me the best. My dad is an acholoic. My plan is to prove to the world I will not end up like him. Remember Dawson not ever girl gets their heart broken by a boyfriend but sometimes it is a family memember. This blog is very helpful and has great advice in it I plan to follow all 15 and officially overcome my Dad. I hope many more girls do the same. : ) -Allyson, 14years old
- Allyson

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 11:05:13 PM
i am recovering from a broken heart, and in one month me and my ex will have been broken up for a year, and it makes me feel pathetic because i'm still not over him. i'm one of those people who believes that if i can't be happy with out someone then how will i be happy when in a relationship. i believe in that, and i'm still not happy. i know it's not all because of my ex, but i just don't know how to have fun anymore.
- Jessiy

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 10:48:56 PM
i've had a broken heart so many times i don't kno if i can trust another guy in my life i jus don't kno if i can handle it again your friend, rebecca f.
- rebecca f.

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 10:48:27 PM
Yea when i was going out with my bf, we desided to just be friends so we broke up and everything was fine, but a day after that my other friend told me that my ex-bf was going out with my best friend. they thought I would of gotton mad at them so thy didn't tell me. And i thought they new me m better than that to think i would get mad over a stupid thing like that.
- Sara

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 10:46:04 PM
hey dawson....ive been listening to your show for a while now and i really like it...i have had a broken heart by a guy that i really care about...we worked together and then became bwf. well we have been bwf for over a year now and we have gotten closer to each other over that year and its type of relationship that is bf/gf. i can talk to him about nething and he really helps me out when i need it and i have never had that...i have gotten really attached to him and i have fallen for him...well i have his ex's number in my phone because she gave it to me for me to give to a friend about a job cuz we worked together...i forgot i had it and i had asked him if that was her number and he freaked out on me...i didnt understand y...hes going through sum things right now and he is really distant from me...well i got mad at him about it because its not the first time sumthing like this has happened were fight over sumthing stupid...so i freaked out on him and now we are not talking to each other and i miss him dearly and i just feel really empty inside without him...i have moved on to a different guy that i worked with and then i moved on to a new guy who i have been dating now for over a month but i still think about him alot and sumtimes i cant sleep cuz all i think about is him...well got to go Melissa
- Melissa

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 9:39:59 PM
hey dawson - well i got my first real heart break 2 years ago. i was so in head over hill for this guy. sheesh and then one night he whent to as party and met this new girl and 3 days later they had sex and he ended up breaking up with me for her. and it hurt me i whent threw a stage i wouldnt even come out of room. it torn me apart. but its been two year somtime it get to me but not all the time. thanks heatherf. from goergia age 17
- comment left on DMLive MySpace by ~ heatherf.

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 9:21:48 PM
Well in the past year i dated a guy who seemed like a guy i would never evan take a look at, and eventualy i got to know him and his family so much i began to love him and have feelings so strong for him i thought we could never go wrong.My best friends would tell me non stop that he was cheating and flirting with other girls and ,i didnt believe them for a second when i was blinded by the way he treateed me.We dated for a year and then he had to move ,and rite before he moved he became a selfish b*****d and treated me like i was dirt.And i didnt evan gt to say goodbye,i felt like i was used and betrayed because i loved him deeply and before we had sex,but now i regret it,i know my heart is still broken,and we talk now a little bit ,but it still hurts just because hes gone.
- Megan

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 8:42:40 PM
I think Emily P. & I could have an interesting chat! My beau of just over 4 yrs. broke up with me last Valentine's Day in what he later called "a defensive, reactive" moment - completely unexpected by either of us. I tried to talk him out of it for over an hour to no avail. (Ladies, please DON'T do this. #5 above applies here. If he's gonna break up with you, let him. If he's wrong, truly loves you, & is a real man, he will come back for you. Do not chase him. It only leads to a more shattered heart.) We're in our 30s (yep..."old"), wanting to get settled, & we were committed to marrying each other. I'd been wearing a Promise Ring for over 3 yrs. He realized later on he'd made a mistake, & we've been working on things ever since. It's been one gigantic roller-coaster!!! He's walked away/said goodbye to me at least 4 more times since then, but we can't seem to let go of the belief that God truly did make us for each other...that there's a reason we "click" so well it's nearly scary...that I am meant to help him raise his girls from previous marriages. (He has five, ages 6-17; one is severely autistic & in specialized care.) We both have a lot of baggage, & we know the deck has been stacked against us from the beginning. But, that's only made us try harder to fight against it so God's Will would win out. When both of us are chasing after God, staying in His Will (or at least trying to as best we can!), we have a BEAUTIFUL, Godly relationship. I can't get over that. But, things fell apart once again about a week ago. Right now, we're keeping communication at a minimum, & I refuse to see him outside of our counselor's office. But, I don't know when we can afford to go back. So, I'm still in limbo...nearly 11 mos. later. I don't know what we're doing. I can't imagine how crazy or pathetic this must sound to many of you. I don't even know why I've poured myself out on this page, except that I need prayer & Guidance in a desperate way. I'm hushing up, now...
- Blue Grace

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 6:23:51 PM
I'v pretty much did all of those but honestly it doesn't work for me. MY heart is probubly the hardest 2 help becuase my ex broke my heart a couple of times. But the thing that i hate the most was that i forgave him everytime. If i had to give advise to people i would tell them one thing:IF they did something wrong don't blame yourslef or forgive them for that matter because they are gonna do it again and its just gonna hurt worse.
- Brittney

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 6:23:40 PM
ok about #3 wat if we don't belive in god how will that 1 help? You know i understand that alot of pepole will like #3 but i don't because i don't belive in god that doesn't help much at all. And i no alot of people are going to hate me for this but i don't care its my opoinon
- Brittney

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 6:22:47 PM
Wow, thanks i just got done with a break up. everything was so perfect and out of the blue she just said she didnt think its going to work out. me and her family got along so well, they liked me alot. my family liked her too. and we spent the most amazing month together. anyways thanks for the 15 tip thingys, it'll definately help. :)
- Matthew r.

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 1:30:12 PM
yeah i've had my heartbroken by my ex when he asked my best friend to be his girlfriend it hurt like i dont know what...and i'm kind of still getting over all of this i know it sounds dumb but it hurts =[[
- Cristal

Sunday, Jan 6, 2008 - 1:28:16 PM
I had my heart broken once. It was a long relationship. I one day woke up and said, ok I need to move on, and I did. But it was hard. Though I am glad I didn't resort to anything harmful I also help people with advice and common sence around school, kind of like the go to guy. (Not taking any of your thunder Dawson) I did study the people I helped in this type of situation. I came to the conclusion that, the reason people feel that way is because they still think they have a chance or they will win them back (as you also stated above) or they think their ex still loves them. Well 90% of the people that came to me with that problem never got back with them and some don't even want to speak with them. I find it the easiest way to get over a broken heart is to learn right away that it is over, and it is over for a reason, and that you should just move on. Forget all the times with them and just look foward.
- Zach

Saturday, Jan 5, 2008 - 10:33:43 PM
i think i had my heart broken, cause felt bad for months after my crush asked my best friend out in front of me. sounds bratty but it hurt.
- lorr@ine

Saturday, Jan 5, 2008 - 5:45:19 PM
i have had my heart broken many times... it hurts and its hard to deal with but you know you eventually get over it and its not the end of the world because there are people out there that still care about you and want you to get better. you will eventually find love again and you cant let it keep you down.
- maddie

Saturday, Jan 5, 2008 - 1:18:16 PM
I can honestly say getting your heart broken is the worst feeling in the world. It's been about a year and I still can't stop thinking about it. It isn't healthy, and it's time to move on. I'm so glad that you made this blog Dawson, thank you so much. I look forward to next weeks post. And remember "Don't make someone a priority that only considers you an option." Don't sit and wait for your ex to do something. Go out and enjoy life. It's hard, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself.
- Jon

Saturday, Jan 5, 2008 - 1:08:59 PM
well how can i put this i tend to get my heart broken every time i let a boy in to close to my heart. it makes me think that they really don't love me its more that they just want to date just to prove to their friends that they're "worth my time" as some of them would say but to me i feel like im being used
- kayla

Saturday, Jan 5, 2008 - 1:08:10 PM
I think number 2, allowing yourself to feel the pain, is probably one of the hardest of the 15 things to do. No one wants to be hurt, and when we are, our first instinct is to block it out. Unfortunately, the best ways to block something like that out is through destructive behavior like substance abuse, cutting, and the like. Even worse, the release doesn't last and you end up worse off than you were before. I think 15 is probably the hardest of all, though, at least it was for me. I crushed on a girl for three years before I got up the nerve to tell her how I felt, and after being turned down, I couldn't seem to let go of those feelings, especially because I had fostered them for so long. In fact, I still haven't completely gotten over her; it's hard to move on when your feelings won't leave you alone.
- Jonathan

Saturday, Jan 5, 2008 - 2:24:03 AM
those 15 tips are the absolute best....i dont think you could put it any other way and even though some people dont wanna admit it those are the things that you have to do to git over a broken heart whether you want to or not. the one that stuck out @ me the most was the one that said dont over analyze things and i think a lot of people do that after getting out of a relationship...they may question themself ex.wat did i do wrong?; was it me?; you kno stuff like that. and those people who question themselves be tha main ones(sometimes) that get tied down and cant move on with their life. but moral is: after its all said and done with, you have to move on and lead your own life. it was there decision to let you go and now you have to lead your own life. and hopefully you will find someone better.
- riah

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 11:07:16 PM
Yes...He lead me on.He told me he liked me and he was always staring at me in class--i was staring at him 2--but then out of no were he starts to get to where he wouldn't leave my friend alone,you know trying to get her to go out with him.But she was going out with one of his friends. That was when i went to that school...about a month later i transfered schools...Then i called him the other day and he started it again. He just started flirting with me. ........................................ Now I'm stuck in a HUGE loop whole!!!!!! I don't know what to do...PLEASE HELP??
- Kyra

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 10:57:38 PM
i have not gotten my heart broken. but i am not looking forward to it. u have an amazing show. ur an amazing person thanks for all ur help for me and everyone else
- trina

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 10:57:31 PM
ur advice seems pretty cool :) i'm not really the type to get a broken heart I guess, cause I don't give my entire life to any guys...just to God. guys can bruise me but never break me. 2 any1 with a broken heart: don't give up, you'll still be OK if you know that you will, and talking to friends helps alot!
- quin

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 10:56:39 PM
Wow. It was a sovereign act of God that I read this today. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me this past Easter (April 8). It has been 9 months and I still struggle. We had concrete plans to get married. He said he loved me, and there was not one thing he would not do for me. But in a matter of weeks he said he did not love me anymore. The thing is is that I gave our relationship two chances previously, and he would not even give me one. It was unjust. I am not completely healed, so I am not to best person to be giving advice. I just know that everything is beyond my control. I pray God, the maker and sustainer of the universe for help. I know He has my best interests at heart, but truly believing that in the midst of pain is hard. But don't let go.
- Emily P

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 8:57:15 PM
What do I do when I get dumped? I get drunk and find a new guy. It's easy because I don't allow myself to get attached. To any one or anything. Because when you grow up in a foster home you learn that as soon as you get attached you are pulled out. I learned to be indifferent. Not to get to close and above all never let me guard down. My only three rules I live by are 1-Never let anyone see me weak. 2-Never let my guard down and 3-Don't get attached. So it's easy to be indifferent. To not feel anything. I've never liked a guy enough to cry over him. In fact I'm the cold, heartless b-tch at my school.
- Amy

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 8:56:39 PM
Your so right at sometime everyone will get hurt even if its no on purpose. I know it is hard to not give your all in a relinship when it's all you (think) you have ever wanted but as I tell my friends You have to go through alot of wrong ones to get to the right one. Your alot of help Dawson please keep helpin people. -with love, -Jessie
- Jessica

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 1:30:13 AM
Hey dawson. Your totally right about getting over a broken heart.Everone does too. Atleast once in their life. I've personally never suffered from a broken heart, but i know alot of my friends that have. And its really hard to get over it for them.Even over some of the smallest things.If another one of my friends suufers a broken heart, what do you think i should say to help comfort them? Like they do come to me for help,So what should i tell them?
- Tina

Friday, Jan 4, 2008 - 1:29:53 AM
although we all have been heartbroken we still never know why we always assum it has to be us that has changed but mostly its not the breaky its the breakist i know that might not make since but i go through this all the time my friends date someone that isnt right for them then they cry to me when their bf/gf breaks up with them im really hoping my friends will read this and really read it and understand the meaning of the words
- samantha