“What am I doing? And where am I going?” I love January. It’s all about starting over. It’s about getting a fresh start. It’s also a great time to look at your life and decide what you’d like to change. These are called New Year’s resolutions and they can be very helpful to create more of the life you desire, and help you find some answers to the nagging questions of what are you doing and where are you going.

I’ll be the first to admit it’s not the easiest thing in the world to keep your New Year’s resolutions, but I hope this list I’ve put together will help all of us as we attempt to remain committed to these New Year’s promises.

If you have a really big goal you’d like to achieve, break it up into smaller, more managed mini-goals.

1. Keep it simple. Make sure you set realistic and attainable goals. If you don’t, you’ll be easily discouraged when you discover you can’t achieve them. If you have a really big goal you’d like to achieve, break it up into smaller, more managable mini-goals. That way you can track your progress and more clearly see the results.

2. Don’t make too many resolutions. It’s hard enough to follow through on one, why overwhelm yourself with four or five? Pick the one you feel is the most important and focus on that.

Decide how you’re going to deal with the temptation when it comes up.

3. Write it down. When we write down our New Year’s resolutions it forces us to be more clear with what we’re hoping to accomplish. With as much detail, write down your goals. Be as specific as possible about what it’s going to take, as well as what the results will look like.

4. Tell other people. Not only will telling people help hold you more accountable to following through, you will find people who will encourage you when need it. Consider finding someone who shares your same resolution.

5. Track your progress. Keep track of each small success you make along the way toward your larger goal. This will help keep you motivated. Remember, changing any behavior can be a slow, but powerful process.

Keep track of each small success you make along the way toward your larger goal.

6. Reward yourself. When you reach you goal, or accomplish something you set out to achieve, make sure you congratulate yourself in some special way. This promise of reward will help you to keep moving forward when things get difficult along the way.

7. Don’t give up. Decide how you’re going to deal with the temptation when it comes up. Maybe it’s calling a friend. Make a list of the benefits of sticking with your plan, and the disadvantages of giving up. Take it one day at a time. Do the best you can. If you feel like you have failed, get back up and start again. You haven’t failed, unless you give up.

You haven’t failed, unless you give up.

New Year’s Resolutions can get a bad rap because many people anticipate their giving up on their goals before they even start. It’s up to you to decide how committed you want to be. I encourage you to stay focused on at least one of your goals. You’ll be amazed at how good you feel when you start seeing changes in your life.

Next week I’m going to start an exciting new blog series. It’s going to be one of the most popular ever. Perhaps the most asked questions I get on my radio show are about the opposite sex and what they don’t understand about each other. I need your help. I’m going to write about what guys and girls don’t understand about each other. Please send me a comment with your thoughts. It’ll be a great help to me as I write.

Friday, Jan 16, 2009 - 12:20:22 AM
My girl friends don't understand why boys don't really listen to what they have to say. My guy friends/boyfriend don't understand why girls talk so much and complain A LOT when they don't listen, but the said girls don't listen to them, either, when they try to talk. But, I also have something I don't understand, so I'll put this in here, too: I don't understand how guys throw around "I love you"s like it's candy. That word means a lot and if you tell a girl that, she'll most likely take it as you being serious. I don't get how they don't realize this, 'cause it always ends up with a bitter break up or something worse.
- Riley

Friday, Jan 16, 2009 - 12:15:06 AM
some things that people dont understand are that guys and girls can be JUST FRIENDS!!!! if a guy and a girl are seen hanging out together then people automatically think they're dating... why? whats wrong with just wanting to be friends??? you dont have to date someone all the time. yeah its nice to have a bf/gf but just being friends with them you dont have to worry about all that dating drama. you dont have to worry about what he/she's thinking or what you need to do in the relationship. if your just friends then you can still have the enjoyment of having a guy/girl around but not having to worry about dating drama!
- Michaela

Friday, Jan 16, 2009 - 12:14:23 AM
So... I dont like guys... Im lesbian... I dont want to sound cocky or anything but i am a very attractive girl and guys hit on me all the time... Even if i do tell them im not interested. Last october i told a certain guy i wasnt intrested and he pursued me even more... He ended up drugging me and having sex with me knowing i was lesbian and not interested.... I hate him.i hate guys. Im very open about my sexuality, everyone knows... I have guys try to touch my butt and touch my body all the time... Its gross... Guys dont understand that i would rather be with a woman...
- morgan g.

Wednesday, Jan 14, 2009 - 10:58:35 PM
Guys don't understand that when you are in middle school you do not want to hear"I love you" we want you to listen to what we say and comment on it(not in a mean way)and saying I love you would just make it harder if we wanted to break up. Dawson you are awesome.
- Brittany C.

Wednesday, Jan 14, 2009 - 9:53:02 PM
Guys dont understand how I feel. I have a boyfriend and he does not know how I feel at all. it is hard to explain to them how we feel. I am tired of explaining to them how i feel or where I come from. I dont tell them how i feel or nothing anymore since they dont understand nothing. I might as well give up.
- Ashley

Wednesday, Jan 14, 2009 - 9:07:23 PM
Well, Brittany... you need to see what they like... than see what you like... and then work off from there... As for the blog, I keep it simple... and i forget it XD
- Zach

Wednesday, Jan 14, 2009 - 12:22:54 AM
Guys don't understand that it doesn't take that much work to make girls happy. A simple "goodnight" text right before you go to sleep makes us feel special. An occasional note left on the windshield of our car would completely make our day and put the BIGGEST smile on our face. Small, simple things that you can do can make or break a relationship.
- Jamie Ann

Tuesday, Jan 13, 2009 - 11:24:21 PM
i don't understand why i can only get guy friends and not a boyfriend. all of my guy friends asks me to help them get a certain girl or figure out what girl likes them. we recently had a banquet at my college and not one guy was interested in me. i was ok until 3 of my guy friends asked me to talk to a girl for them or ask around and see who liked him. one of my friends even said i had to come because he needed help talking to the girl he asked out. i'm just sick of just being the friend
- brittany

Tuesday, Jan 13, 2009 - 10:30:31 PM
so my ex and i broke up after a month of dating, and we decided to stay friends. since we were good friends before, it made perfect sense to go back to that. but sometimes he says things to me like "take care of yourself" or "dont be stupid" and things like that. im confused on whether its because he still cares for me in that way or hes just being friendly.
- mehaa

Tuesday, Jan 13, 2009 - 9:04:17 PM
why in the world do guys act like they like you one minute and then the next they treat you like they barely know you? its sooo annoying. there was this one guy i was really starting to like and he was constantly flirting and picking and acting like he liked me and it was getting to where we were "bumping in to each other" a couple times a week. Then we didn't see each other for like a week and he acted like he didn't even know me and had a girl on his arm. grrrrrr
- Brittany

Tuesday, Jan 13, 2009 - 3:03:48 AM
I don't get why guys bother with the mind games. You know, when they say one thing and mean another just to get what they want. I'm not sure they understand just how much it can mean to some (or most) girls to hear the simple things. The "I love you,"s, the "I'm here for you,"s, etc. So many guys put on the "nice guy" front and then turn out to be someone else, and I just wish they wouldn't bother. Don't tell me you care about me on a deep emotional level if you don't. Once I realize I trusted someone who was full of it, it'll hurt a lot and be very hard to come to terms with. If all you want is sex, then say it. It'll save us both the disastrous ending to the relationship because I'll just walk away and let you on your way to attain your goal somewhere else. I've just never understood why guys say girls are the confusing ones. My experience is, it's no secret what will make most girls happy. With guys, however, I've seen so many guys I believed to be genuinely good-intentioned gentlemen turn into people I never expected them to be because, unfortunately, so many put on a front. My advice to both guys and girls is to stop looking for what's easy. Don't date the one you can have drunken sex with all of the time. That's so superficial and gives girls (and guys) the wrong impression of what's desirable and what they're worth. Take the time to connect on a deeper level with the classier ones. It takes more work, but it's so much more rewarding.
- Dawn

Tuesday, Jan 13, 2009 - 2:34:24 AM
I think that if your willing to make the relationship work and talk to each other then everything will wor out. if you force someone then you will want to know why whatrs there reasoning. Noone can tell you what the other parnters feeling or thinking but the other person so you just need to talk to them.
- Danika H.

Tuesday, Jan 13, 2009 - 12:52:31 AM
i think that most guys think that they know how to treat a girl and then when they get into the relationships and its different. i was in a relationship and the guy was soooo not the guy i would ask back out by the way i love ur show
- amber

Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 11:18:50 PM
so i have this guy friend and at first he would email daily and tell me everything that's goin on and then he just stopped... like its at least 2 weeks till i hear from him once 2 months and doesn't talk to much anymore... and he was like flirting and everything so why would he just stop???? thanks
- kourtney

Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 7:14:56 PM
i think the biggest misunderstanding is how guys and girls always go for the "hottest" people of the opposite sex many girls fail to realize when they have a good man and the same is true for guys. when this happens a relationship ends when another "hot" guy/girl comes around or a relationship fails to begin altogether and can sometimes even end great friendships basically what im saying is that people dont focus on personality, but instead focus on looks in both friendship and relationships.
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Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 3:21:06 PM
what is the motivation for a woman to go after an abusive, degrading man when she can just as easily get a nicer, more respectful gentleman
- joseph

Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 12:08:23 PM
i agree with justin
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Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 12:08:01 PM
I don't get why so many guys just like girls cuz they're popular or have big b**bs. I mean, can't they pay attention to the things on the inside rather than just the outside?
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Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 3:42:28 AM
I think both sexes need to know that relationships aren't that hard, but meeting the people you actually would consider spending time with can be the difficult part. To start, women need to know that no guy, NONE, in real life are going to look like Brad Pitt. The same goes for guys, if you're an average guy, you aren't going to be dating any "Playboy Bunnies" or Sarah Jessica Parker in "Sex and the City." Average people will usually get together with, and be happy with, other average people. Not ugly, not the hottest, but average. And since you'll be looking for average (realistic) people, you can pretty much forget about being consumed by the whole butterflies in the stomach thing. Sure, there will always be the chance you'll get blown off, but you know what?... in 5 years and beyond, that time won't even matter. So get ready and just go for it. But what women need to know about guys is guys have knight in shinning armor tendencies, which means they want to be romantic and in charge of the situation but they may be looking for cues from you do these things. It is out of fear of rejection or being looked at like a pig that men will hold back emotions and try not to say or do stupid things. Which usually leads to the women thinking men may be not be that strong-willed and maybe just not into them. Women want all around strong, inside and outside, guys to protect them and get things done. The key guys is to relax...and take it easy. And it's cliche, but VERY TRUE..."BE YOURSELF!" If going up to a girl and introducing yourself and asking her name gets you blown off, don't take it personally. She clearly needs help and probably a few deep crying sessions if she thinks it's okay to be rude to people she's known for 4 seconds. Move on to the next girl that looks like a person you could get along with. As long as you aren't a complete loser, you can tell by how you feel about yourself, you will meet someone, EVENTUALLY, that will consider you attractive and may want to get something going with you. Remember quality, not quantity. Being a women and meeting men is much easier than being a man and looking for a date because most men will look at MOSTLY any women and try to do and say whatever they can to have sex with them. Women hold to your standards, and out of the men that approach you, you will eventually meet a man worth your time. When I say standards I mean things you want in a mate...Again, being realistic is the key. There is a difference between "makes an honest decent, not great living" and "must make 250 K a year." Hope you can tell the difference by now! Really, it's not that complicated, but mainstream TV shows, movies, music, and commercials don't help make the balance and understanding between the sexes any easier. Just remember, no one person is going to "be your everything." Having the expectation that having a person deeply involved in your life is going to make all the problems in life seem ant hill sized and make you 100% spiritualy, emotionally, and mentally okay is just wrong, sick, delusional, and stupid. But guys, if you can face a little rejection from time to time and girls, if are willing to be honest to your standards you'll find someone to be happy with eventually. This is going to sound totally wrong to some people, but a significant other is just a friend who hangs around a lot, you do stuff with, and then usally have sex with. That's it... no reasons for being alive, just another person. ~ Lastly, guys most girls will not be content with hanging around the house eating, watching movies or playing PS3...you must prepare to hear," Let's go out to eat!" OR "Let's go see a movie!" Remember, take the lead here and be prepared to drop some cash sometimes. Almost nothing will bum a women out more than being told her man won't drop $15-$20 at one shot on going out. She'll most likely read it as she's isn't worth spending the money on. Sorry, for any grammatical errors, but I hope this helps you Dawson and everyone out there. Good luck writing and keep up the good work, Buddy! Looking forward to this blog!
- Jesse

Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 2:47:37 AM
girls really dont understand they way guys feel. atleast i dont! guys say they love you and want to be with you then the next night they say i want to break up! guys need to think things out before getting into a relationship with girls that are really into them. and i do understand girls are hard to understand too. they say that guys are always playing games with girls when its not only they guys. girls and guys need to learn to respect eachother. love eachother.
- Kristin

Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 1:19:03 AM
What I don't get--why do guys act like they like a girl when they don't? Case in point: I liked a friend of mine a while back, and he was acting like he liked me. For example, when I went in for a side hug one night, he pulled me around for a frontal hug instead. (O_O) But then when I said I liked him, he refused to go out with me. He said that he couldn't stand to date someone so much like him (me), that he needed more variety??? Later, I brought up with him that he'd been acting like he liked me, and he didn't really say anything. So, yeah. What???
- Chelsea

Monday, Jan 12, 2009 - 12:50:58 AM
Dawson, I Think What Most People Dont Get About The Opposite Sex Is That They DO Understand, But Enter With The Conception That Its Not As It Seems. I Am One Of The Guys That Has True Values In Life And Relationships, But Whenever I Get Close To One, They Tense Up And Think Im Leading Them On. They Think That They Cant Understand, Thus They Dont. Its Frustrating. I Think One Should Be Open With One Another. Then The Problem Ceases. As Elvis Sang, "Take Your Troubles To The Chapel." Dont Hide It, Let It Out In A Safe And Nurturing Atmosphere
- Daniel

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 11:34:57 PM
dawson i dont understand why the girl i love keeps hurting me. she makes me feel like dying and i dont know what i need to do. my heart is broken but i still love her. i just dont know what to do because i dont want to lose. do you have any advice?
- Chris C.

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 11:05:19 PM
I'm a guy who only has girl friends (very important space inbetween haha). And as much as I'm a great guy and get along with everyone, I'm just not that guy that girls wanna go out with or date (pick whatever term ya want). So how come some of the best guys dont get accepted as date-worthy by girls and i guess vice versa would apply as well. Thanks Dawson
- Justin W.

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 10:49:55 PM
alright i don't like how guys think that they can treat girls like crap with us not doing anything about it.. then whenever we do. they get really mad.. i just don't get that. also how they look at us as a sex symbol.. we don't want just that. we have feelings/emotions too. listen to us more and maybe you'll understand.
- Christine J.

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 10:06:43 PM
okay me and my ex went out for like two weeks and i relly had started to care bout him then he dumps me..but not cuz i messed up cuz he still cares bout his ex and i mean she hates him and wont speak to him yet he not let her go and i stuck not know what to do i staying singe cuz i want him back so bad..and i tryed to be his friend and be there but it's not easy thing for be just friends with my ex when i wanna more then just that
- kierra

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 9:44:52 PM
girls dont understand that guys deal with a lot of their emotions differently because thats how society has forced them to. although they can have rather outstanding amounts of anger, usually its only because they cant handle the rest of their emotions.
- ashley

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 9:11:05 PM
Mr.Dawson why do some young ladies think that the best way to please a guy is through sex. l mean GOD made them worth more than this. And I'm talking about the young ladies who are really popular in school and act like life is good, when really their soul is MISERABLE!!!!
- Deacon-B

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 8:04:46 PM
I don't understand why some young ladies will date a young man that has a history of cheating & not showing respect, & still say I love him no matter what he does. But then there's another guy on the side that like her and he' s very humble, caring, and respectful. And he also knows that this young lady is a gift from GOD and he got to treat her right 100%. But still Mr. Dawson the young lady go after the guy that probably want a one night visit and that's it. Then her precious soul is damaged. Why ladies?
- Deacon-B

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 6:29:59 PM
will some guy are just not that easy to tell the girl that he likes that he like her and just wait intell someone finds out and tells the gril.
- jamie h.

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 6:29:07 PM
hey i love you even thow i didn't lission to u on the rido that much.
- jamie h.

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 5:34:35 PM
He won't admit it, but my boyfriend gets jealous easily. Whenever I'm talking to one of my guy friends, my boyfriend comes up and puts his arms around me and just stares at whoever I'm talking to. Sometimes he'll be like, "Who was that?" Then I have to explain to him that the guy that I was talking to is just a friend and I don't have feelings for that friend. The only guy that I like is my boyfriend. That's why I'm with him. If I didn't like him, I wouldn't be with him right now. Why can't he understand that?
- Kayla

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 4:40:21 PM
I don't understand why guys play with your heart. They say they like you and play mind games with you and then next thing you know they actually have a girlfriend.After all that all you get is heart broken and more upset cause you feel like you can't get anyone.
- Victoria

Sunday, Jan 11, 2009 - 2:11:48 AM
I don't understand why guys can't just come out and say they like girls instead of being all shy about it
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