“Lust is selfishly dwelling on and fantasizing about sexual activities or entertaining sexually arousing thoughts with no thoughts of the other person's feelings. Love doesn't lust.” (Jonathan)


“Lust is when you look at someone with passion for their body. And don’t really see who they truly are or who they want to be other than your trophy and toy.” (Megan)


“Love lasts forever but lust only lasts for awhile.” (Deanna)

• “…causes the brain to produce the same reaction as if on cocaine or speed. Lust really is like a drug, it leaves you wanting more.” (Dr. Jon Marsden - Director of the National Addiction Center).
  
  
• Is nothing like love.
  
  
• Comes quickly and leaves quickly.
  
  
• Only wants to get into bed with you.
  
  
• Is a craving for self gratification, usually sexual.
  
  
• Focuses only on the outward appearance.
  
  
• Is impatient. 
  
  
• Is rude and manipulates.
  
  
• Seeks to get and never give.
  
  
• Self-centered.
  
  
• Doesn’t care about others.
  
  
• Is jealous and insecure.
  
  
• Seeks revenge and doesn’t forgive.
  
  
• Covers up and lies about wrongdoings.
  
  
• Will do whatever it wants to get its way.
  
  
• Leaves when it’s no longer getting.

Every person who has ever dated or lived has struggled with lust. If you haven’t yet, you will. Would you please send me your story about how you have dealt with lust. Next week, I want to talk a lot more about this and your stories are priceless. So I leave you with these questions:

Thursday, Feb 14, 2008 - 12:41:18 AM
thanks for blogging on this! I think lust is when you only want to take... you want something they have, whether its love or shall we say, physical stuff, but in the end it just hurts you Love is when you want to give(not your body, but your heart)
- quin

Wednesday, Feb 13, 2008 - 11:24:16 PM
Lust can also be for the mind. A person could literally lust for a personality and not care if they like your body or not. When couples say they are in love but they really are in lust, but haven't had sex or even think about it yet, then that's lust. It's kind of confusing but when you put couples together that don't love each other but have lust, then you will understand.
- Rachel

Wednesday, Feb 13, 2008 - 10:04:21 PM
no i havent but thanks for the information on it. i am going to listen to your show all night this sunday so can you put some information on how to deal with my brother who loves to get in trouble, lie and steal because i have tried everything.
- Lisa R.

Wednesday, Feb 13, 2008 - 10:01:42 PM
okay this mite not have nothing to do with this topic. but I need some help. My boyfriend lives like forever away and he just got in trouble for fighting with this one girl from his school because she was calling me bad names and other things. me and her have had our differences in the past because she tried saying she slept with my boyfriend so on and so forth. but he got grounded two days ago and I havnt talked to him since, and I havnt really cared about anything since. I lost my $200 phone yesterday and I havnt really cared to go looking for it or even wanted to find it. I just dont care anymore. I feel really numb to feelings and to find everything from my past, I've always been the hyper happy outcast of my school with the rest of my friends. and its just getting to much for me to handle. I've been really really tried and I cant seem to sleep. and now I've been getting bad thoughts on suicide and I've had these thought before and I just quit cutting for my boyfriend and he made me promise not to do it anymore but I cant control my razor fingers when I start to feel depressed. please help me before I do something stupid!!!
- Kayla A.

Wednesday, Feb 13, 2008 - 7:41:42 PM
I think their is more lust then love..
- Gen

Wednesday, Feb 13, 2008 - 10:44:34 AM
I guess this is where I'm very happy that I'm a largely huilt girl. Not alot of people want me for my outside appearance, and the people I date learn to either like me or hate me for who I really am. As any high schooler, I have lusted before, but when it comes to my relationship, lust isn't even relevant. Lust only requires an instant, but in order to love, it takes time and dedication.
- Miranda

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 9:22:06 PM
Are you serious? It's high school almost everyone has! It's sad and pathetic but it's true. I guess that's usually me. However, I have never once told a guy I loved him. It gets messy when you start saying the L word.
- Ame

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 9:21:33 PM
Most teens don't even kno tha difference between love or lust. They think their in love and they found the one but there jus confused and they find out it was nuttin but lust for that person. They may both start with an l but they're nothin alike. Also great show Dawson!!!!!
- alicia

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 9:18:11 PM
I have always had a problem with lust. I don't know how to quit. I think its something thats fun and makes the guys want me more. but i don't wanna be the next high school slut. Looks like im already there. I don't know how to deal with this. I have so many friends with benefits. some that i have known for years. please help thanks
- Tiffany

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 9:15:03 PM
No that has never happend to me except for the liking somebody alot part and they dont like me at all!
- Briana

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 10:33:28 AM
Huh, this is a very interesting topic. Surprised there was no blog on it sooner. Anyways.. here's my definition.. Love is an unexplainable feeling you get from a person which has very little or no sexual base, and is purely emotional. Lust is the attraction to physical appearance and/or sexual activity one might aquire from being together with the person they are attracted to. Most people confuse the two because the feelings they get are just as strong as one another, though they aren't the same. The desire most people have for sexual activity is usually more than the desire they have for an actual meaningful relationship.
- Richard

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 10:33:07 AM
i have been in this situation a couple of times. i went out with a guy for a year in a half which ended up being a waste of time. i thought i loved him but really i just loved being with someone cause i was afraid of being alone. he only wanted me for my body... that was all. i didnt give it to him so he cheated on me for a long time. right now, i even like this guy but all he does is touch me all over. he wants to go out with me but he is not supposed to date for a year cause of past problems.
- samantha

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 10:32:50 AM
I just happened to stumble across this program yesterday, and I have to add in my two cents. I've never actually been in a relationship more than friends yet, but I find it highly interesting that even though I am very much swayed by a guy's attractiveness, I actually find guys more attractive the more I like their personality. Even if I don't find them attractive in the first place, the more I'm around them, the more things I find to like about them. Thank you for all that you do.
- Cara

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 1:23:29 AM
I think the difference between love and lust is prevalent in a teenagers’ life. I mean it makes sense when people say that young love never lasts... because is never love in the first place just lust (for the most part). There are times when teens use the word ‘love” wrongly. It’s true what they say that love is a strong word and it’s sometimes mistaken for what is actually lust. Lust is being physically and sexually attracted to someone and I know that many teens do date based on looks and what they can get out of the relationship. I just hope that people are smart enough to recognize that when their boyfriend/girlfriend says ‘I love you’ it’s just the hormones kicking in.
- Karla

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 1:19:29 AM
without God in a relationship, its NOT a relationship
- chelsea

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 1:18:54 AM
lust is something i've gone through but i haven't gone out with anybody in many years now because i am too busy working at my job to have time for a relationship!
- maureen

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 1:17:20 AM
A about 6 months ago i was with this guy and i thought it was love. I mean he said all the right things done all the right things. I really thought i was in love But i t turned out that, that relationship was no were near love. We had alot of fights and arguments about sex because he was ready and i wasn't. Well he didn't get what what he wanted so he up and left. For a long time i was dazed and confused but finally i got to thinking that if that was love then he wouldn't of cared about sleeping with me he would of just got pleaser from being around me and i know that now thanks to your show. so i just wanna take the time and thank you for everything.
- Lisa M.

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 1:14:33 AM
Yes, i was gone call into your show
- latedra e.

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 1:13:17 AM
Someone I really like a lot, and I think I might be in love with him. All he seems to want is my body. I just wish he could like me for me. and not for my body.
- Heather

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 12:52:31 AM
I have most certainly confused lust for love, I think we all have at one point and time.
- Ben

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 12:51:27 AM
this guy and i hated eachother the first time we met. actually, i hated him and he kinda "liked" me. we only had, at the time, one thing in common. the girl we were both madly "in love" with. well we all hung out a few times and i actually started to like him. then he asked me out. i thought it would be fine. i made the horrable mistake about sleeping with him after about a week of dating. then, 3 weeks later that the only reason he asked me out was because he heard i was "easy". i felt so used. but ive heard that u can never fall out of "love" with someone but u can always fall out of a lust for someone. i fell rite out of lust with him. but having sex with him still haunts me til this day. i now tell all my friends, "wait until you've been with that speaical someone for years. if they really love u then they'll wait". i made a really bad mistake. and ppl need to kno the differnce. if they dont, they may make the mistake i did and change their life.
- Aimee~Rose

Tuesday, Feb 12, 2008 - 12:42:14 AM
this is so true.. that is how it is in my releship right now
- glenda h.

Monday, Feb 11, 2008 - 11:54:16 PM
LOVE is never for ever but lust is for a short time
- natalie

Monday, Feb 11, 2008 - 11:53:56 PM
dang dis is really true
- Jesika

Monday, Feb 11, 2008 - 11:53:13 PM
What a timely blog, because I'm actually just coming out of, and still struggling with, a year long situation like this. I can tell you first, that my experience has shown me that I go a lot on feelings and how other people feel in a situation. This guy that I've been in an on again/off again relationship was just looking for whoever would give him attention, more or less. If I'm not giving myself he's interested in another girl, but if he feels that I'm giving him attention he's back. When he's back, it's more or less that he just wants my body anyway, and not me. Like I said earlier, my situation over the past year has gone on a lot of feelings. I thought I was in love when at first it didn't seem that he wanted my body, but I've come to realize that it was lust, because it was all feelings. Lust is a feeling. Love is an action.
- Catie P.

Monday, Feb 11, 2008 - 10:35:20 PM
Hey I have a good one for this one two have been I was with this one boy that asked me to marry him and then it wont bad and I borke up with him and I just got a new one and i'm happy people have been telling me stuff but I don't lisson.
- jamie h.

Monday, Feb 11, 2008 - 12:32:44 AM
I have a really good comment for this, because i recently had an experience with both. Ok, for years i was with a man that treated me horribly. I thought that i loved this man. guess what, I didnt. Well, I ended the 11 year relationship with him, realizing that I never loved him. But thats ok, because as i look back he didnt love me either. He was infatuated with me. Then I got with another man some months later and I thought that i was sooo in love with him. And I thought it for several months. But as time passed he increasingly treated me worse and it didnt hurt as badly as i thought it would. I thought that this man was the one for a while because I couldnt get enough of him. I was posessive and jealous. I have never been jealous in my life. But I look back now and i realize that it was lust. Pure and simple. So I just gave up on men and dating and all of it. Then about 6 months later I just happened across a man that I met about a year before then. And he talked me into seeing him one night. Ok I was really wary. I just knew he had an angle. So we went to my house and watched movies and ate popcorn and laughed and had a really good time. Never touching the whole time. As with other dates touching is all they wanted to do from the get go. But he was different. Anyway, as the night comes to an end, he finally gets up the courage to hold my hand. And something happened to me. I didnt know what. Then later still he finally worked up enough courage to kiss me. And you know what? That man sent a fire through me. I have experienced something similar before. You know, the feeling in the pit of your stomach when someone new kisses you or touches you. Well this was totally different. He sent a fire through me alright. Straight to my heart. I didnt know what this was at the time, so it truly scared me to death. I had already been through so much, and I was scared that he would hurt me too. But I caved and gave him a chance and I will never regret it as long as I live. For now I know what true and real love is for the first time in my life. I know now that before him I had never been in love before no matter how much I thought that I was. I am still with this man and we are getting married in two months. And not a day goes by that he doesnt tell me and show me that he loves me. Every meal that I cook for him, he kisses my forehead and tells me thank you love, it was delicious. Every time that we go somewhere, he opens the doors for me and holds my hand and pushes the shopping cart, he plays with my hair so i can go to sleep sometimes. All of these things may sound silly to some, but I know that these are the things that show me how much he loves me every single day. And I will never forget the first time that i experienced true love instead of lust. There is definately a HUGE difference. And I hope everyone is as lucky as we are.
- christy b.

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 11:29:10 PM
I know the difference. I have been in love with the same woman for 8 years now, never once desiring more than the comfort of her conversation. I have lusted over several women but never her. To me she is the forbidden fruit, the one that can never be. I have dated many women since her, but none of them can hold a candle to her. I love her more than I have to love anyone, in esscence she is my true love that can never be. We jus aren't meant to be together and that is fine as long as she is always in my life I can deal with that.
- Paul

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 11:28:52 PM
This is a very great blog and it is very true. Thank you for what you do your an angel
- Brooke

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 6:14:08 PM
I am a frequent reader of your blogs and I've even spoken with you before. I found it very intriguing that you are writing about love and lust. It has slowly become a huge arguement between people. I have dated a guy before who only was searching for sex. I was whether infatuated with this guy but luckily I noticed this and ended it before I stumped down to actually doing "the deed". I have also felt that I really loved someone but now looking back I know that it was just lust. It's quit crazy because to this day, that guy would tell you that I was the girl he wanted to marry but I knew that I couldn't stay with someone who felt more for me then I had felt for him. He was really sweet and am/was truly sorry to end it but I felt that it was worth it in the long run because now I am really happy with someone who I believe could possibly be the one for me.
- Christine J.

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 3:11:26 PM
I agree with this blog. Of course, there are people who love to be sexual beings but still love a person and talk to them like they're human. But still, they want the sex but wouldnt don't go along with any of the lust descriptions. You know, it kind of reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13 but is the opposite of what it says.
- Elizabeth

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 3:10:55 PM
I wanted to let you kow that i listen to your show regularly and actually picked up some stuff from it. This morning i helped a girl stop cutting herself and make her life better but see here is the deal i live in Oklahoma and she lives in Texas. I think that that is amazing how a couple of words can change a persons life. Thank you for your time. You an inspiration to all teenagers every where including me. If you want to send me a message send it to my myspace
- Ted

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 1:03:46 PM
Yeah, I dated guy after guy who would only tell me that they loved me when we were being physical. That was when they loved me. The rest of the time I was an object of abuse and rejection.
- Sarah

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 1:03:31 PM
people can't get away from lust. it always happens. i mean its the way we are made. a lot of the time when we look at people we don't know the person so we judge them solely on what they look like. if they are attractive it makes us want them more.now lust can turn into love. but we got to think about the reason why we are with a person. is it because we think they are attractive or is it because we are interested about who they are also? if u take away all their looks and u are left with their personality and who they are would u still care for them? but be careful because u could give up a lot of things just so u can be with a person and really its not because u actually love the person but u are in lust with them. remember its not love at first sight its lust at first sight.
- Megan

Sunday, Feb 10, 2008 - 1:02:54 PM
I have delt with lust and it's stupid!!!
- josh

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 9:22:33 PM
I agree whole heartedly, however, most people are uneducated about Love VS Lust. I've been with my fiance for almost 5 years NON-STOP [we're both 17, about to turn 18], and I can state with the strongest of certainty that we are not lusting. My friend, Matthew (18), however, fits the bill of lust to an exact tee. He was with his 15 year old girlfriend for a little under 6 months before he proposed, (and of course, being lust, she said yes). They ended up having sex, falling out, falling in, and falling back out. Right now they're together, but continually fighting and arguing over the most simplistic of things. In my relationship with Teddy [my fiance], the only arguments we have are what to get at the drive-thru or what movie to see, nothing more. I've never personally experienced lust that I've acted on, because I think I always knew in the back of my head what it really was. and thinking about it generally, you can always tell between love and lust. In love, you never ask for anything more than to make the other person happy, its selfless.. and with lust, you take and take and take until the other person is withered and used up then you move right on like it never happened.
- Anna

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 6:55:21 PM
yea i have a story about one of those questions. it wuz a guy that i had lyked since 2 years ago. and so i found him on myspace and added him then we started tlking and tha conversation escalated to "other" topics so then he had asked me 4 my number and i gave it 2 him. then tat same day he called and started asking questions lyke wat r u wearing and wat color and stuff lyke that....of course that wuz TOO personal 4 me so i told him bye and hung up. after that i realized that he only wanted me 4 my body and didnt want 2 git 2 kno me as a person. it wuz weird 2. as 4 my relationship wit him. we still tlk but i dont tlk 2 him on tha fone and we rarely tlk on myspace anymore. he helped me figure out that i need 2 keep my guard up b/c as soon as i let it dwn anything can happen and that experience i dont ever wanna have again.so yea wit him that was lust...ALL tha way.....i realli lyked him too. but now that i see wat kinda person he iz and wat hes all about its lyke i see a whole different person. ill never see wat i saw in him again. i regret ever tlking 2 him but it wuz a great learning experience. great topic.....thanks
- riah

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 6:52:48 PM
WOW i think this blog is going to be very good! It's somthing that i have been wanting to her about from ur point of view. I know that i have been in this spot. I will be reading this!! Thank you!
- Anne

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 2:02:58 AM
I have never personally experienced lust, and i have no desire to either. Currently I'm in love with my boy friend, and i can truly say that i love him. I never wanted a relationship that was just lust and not about love. I want someone who will be there for me no matter what, through the good times and that bad. I feel sorry for the ones that have fallen into lust. My guess is that most of them have or had a broken heart that they thought was loved at one point in the relationship. I have a friend that has fallen into lust and is still having a hard time getting over this boy. She thought they were in love and nothing would come between them and they would be together forever and ever. If she even hears one thing that reminds her about them she starts to cry, and even though she has a new boyfriend, she says that she "loves" him and I don't really believe her because she still isn't over her last one. I'm truly luck to find a guy that doesn't care about his own sexually pleasure but cares about myself and my feels.
- Jenn

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 1:34:24 AM
I think love is something that nobody really understands because if they did then not so many people whould be falling into relationships that they probally already knew that they weren't going to last. lsut is likeing somebody or even more than that obcessing over them many people do this an d this is a extremely common thing.////nice topic dawson
- Jack P.

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 1:34:18 AM
i think lust is horrible. a guy i liked kept upseting me and after a while he'd say he was sorry, and i'd feel better and like him more. but now i dont think l like him, i think he only wants me for my body, he's always bringing up sexual conversations and we end up doing something. i have a boyfriend and i feel really bad for doing that. but now i left the other guy and the other day he asked me to call him, but i ignored it. my boyfriend loves me alot, it may partly be lust, but so far ive never had him pressure me or try talk about something that im not comfortable with. i've only known him for about 5 months, he only asked me once about sex and i told him i'm not ready and when i am i'll tell him, which will most likely be if i marry him.
- sara

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 1:33:14 AM
People say all the time that "love at first site" is true, but I read in a mag. that "love at first site" is just a lust.
- Kayla A.

Saturday, Feb 9, 2008 - 1:32:19 AM
I think love can be defined as something close to this: you care about the person even though you know all of their faults and bad points because it doesn't matter to you if they have them. Love runs really deep, and it isn't taken away quickly like lust. Lust has no room for faults or bad points, only getting what it wants.
- Kayla

Friday, Feb 8, 2008 - 12:54:59 AM
hey i think that lust does control people. this girl i dated for a while wasnt thinking about me and just wanted to use me, i never touched her or let her touch me i had to break up with her now she has been trying to make me jealous. i really like this topic.
- Errin j.