Comparing Love and Lust

Last week, I blogged on the serious subject of lust. In that blog, I talked about why lust was so devastating. It’s impossible to know how many people’s lives have been really messed up because of lust. I do know lust has left a lot of people as hurting victims. Amy sent me a poem this week about lust. It’s pretty deep. Got me thinking. Thought you might like it.


“I desire in moment not in the heart
I chose to spend a night with you,
But those hours were spent in lust,
I felt your passion,
Touched by dominance,
I felt something in me I stared into your eyes,
But after the moments over I begin to despise,
I have a heart that believes the words you say,
I don’t know how I will be able to walk away,
But I praise myself if I don’t think of you today.
My dreams wander to the person I love,
You constantly reappear,
I force myself to vomit thoughts of you,
I slip into sinful fantasies,
But the night is a painful reminder,
That I remain alone.” - Amy

It is true that lust causes confusion, sometimes fooling us and luring us into its trap. But most of the time, we recognize lust for what it is and choose to follow it blindly. Somehow we hope lust will bring us to a happy ending. It never does. It can’t. It does not know how. Lust will never change. It will always be what it is.

Love never changes either. Love wants to lead us to the right path where there is happiness, hope, and a deep sense of self respect. Love always gives because God is love. So ask yourself again, “Am I in love or am I fooling myself all the while walking into the cruel trap of lust?” The decision is ours and will always be so. Will we walk down the road of love or lust? How we answer this question will dictate what our lives will become. Choose love.


NEXT WEEK’S TOPIC – WHY DO SO MANY GIRLS GET PREGNANT OUT OF WEDLOCK?

Nearly 1 million teenage girls get pregnant every year out of wedlock.

Share your experience with being pregnant out of wedlock or knowing someone who is/was.

Why do you think girls get into these situations?

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 9:40:38 PM
4 of my very close friends, even one of my best friends are pregnant all due within 1 month of eachother... around april and may. Some teens want to become pregnant thinking it might give them someone to love and who will love them babck or others are accidents. so many teens are sexually active but apparently dont know how or havnt tried to use protection. unlike many teen pregnancy stories where the dad takes off, all of the daddys of these 4 teen babies are still around and very excited and are now working to save money. they know it will be difficult but they are gonne do it. Teens can surprize you in many different ways :)
- Bre

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:40:17 PM
Wow you truly are amazing
- Ted

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:39:24 PM
Many of my friends are teens yet have children. Children are the most precious gift and everyone knows it. But there is a time to have a child. And its not when you are young. So many teens believe having a child will make the guy stay around but usually it makes him leave. And then the girl becomes lonely. So say this... if you have to have a child in order to keep him around then why do you want him there? That means he doesnt want to be there for you. So why put yourself through it?
- Cana K.

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:36:57 PM
thanks dawson now i know how i fell for the girl i like
- danny s.

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:36:38 PM
Thank You so much!!I listen to your show all the time and i just recently got a girl friend and have been thinking about this to myself whether it was love or lust now i'm only 14 so i wouldn't say it was love but now i'm confedent it's not lust.
- Tyler

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:35:53 PM
I thought i loved someone, but it was a mistake. I gave up somebody special for him. i lost that guy. hes with somebody else. I want back. He still likes me. but i don't want to steal him away and hurt the other girl. What should i do? I miss his touch. And he is really into i dunno anymore
- Lacie

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:34:37 PM
my boyfriend and I have been dating almost a week but i feel like he only asked me out because of the bet my friends made that I would be next 2 lose my virginity and there is a girl who is always saying I hung out with your bf in his truck last night and it makes me upset to think that is y he asked me out. please e-mail me
- Briana

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 8:34:05 PM
Girls fall into the trap becuz at the time they feel like they are goin to be with the person for a long time cuz the guy fills their heads up with lies. Then when she tells him that she is pregnant he wants to run off and leave. And she is left devasated and confused. So she looks at the baby as the only one that would truly love her as she is.
- alicia

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 10:08:52 AM
i have a problem with mi boyfreind he's really nice and everything its just that wenever i talk to him or im w/ mi freinds and him they argue ALOT and she says that i need to dump him.....and i dont know wat to do she says its lust but he says he loves me and thats its not lust thats he really really does care about me,i dont know if someone that argues with mi best freind is really in love with me and just in it to win it but the problem is i never really see him!!!! if u have an answer for me can u plz blog it?
-

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 10:08:00 AM
dawson, i love your show! i think so many girls get pregnant at young ages because they get confused between lust and love. many think that by getting pregnant with their boyfriend that they "love" they will never lose them. they think that it will be an everlasting union when in fact usually its the complete opposite. i cant imagine the pregnant breakout being because there is no contraception available or not enough knowledge on the different options. when i was in high school it was drilled into our heads and it is so easy for any girls to get any type of contraception these days. theres no excuse in my opinion. there is a huge epidemic of pregnancies all around here where i live from 12 year old girls up until my age 23 everywhere, as my mom says dont drink the water it looks like its contagious lol. i just wonder what goes through some peoples heads.
- shelley

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 1:14:01 AM
The moment that I thought that I could be pregnant, I took the morning after pill. I didn't even want to know. All I wanted was a sure way out. I regret it. Part of me wishes that I could know. I think about it all the time... and that was almost 6 years ago.
- Sarah

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 1:04:18 AM
theres not a reson in tha world for a gurl 2 get pregnant and if i were anny1 i wouldnt even be having sex cuz if u have sex and get pregnant befor ur mature enough to have kids then ur not gonna be able to raise that child and your so called boyfriend is going to leave you. your parents are going to raise tha child cuz you caint so you could do so much better with ur life like graduate go to colege get a GOOD job get on ur feet and then have kids
- amanda m.t.

Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 - 12:59:29 AM
i havee a friend hat is like a sister to me and listen to everthing i say except that she could do much better in boyfriends because she really likes him alot but he used me to get her and he got her but now all they do is argue and all shes seen is a photo of him shes never accually met him in person shes only seen pics of him and he could be using her but she also likes 2 other guys that r so much better for her but she likes her boyfriend "alot" supposedly yet when shes around me all she does is complain about him when were talking about him and it sucks cuz im gonna be there for her longer than her "true" luv but she choses him over me and then relizes it and trys to talk to both of us but me and him dont get along. hows that for lust. make sure ur b.f. is true not just a faker
- amanda m.t.

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 8:45:59 PM
i love yoru show. its make me happy. i listen your show every sunday. your show is rock!!!
- elena

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 1:49:36 AM
I'm so glad we're touching on this subject, so many of my friends have been or are pregnant. I've happy remained exempt from pregnancy. Most girls get pregnant because they think that they want it. They think that having a baby will fill that "void" in their life. Or, they believe that it will make their partner stay with them, when it is usually the exact opposite. Other times, its complete and total disregard for safety during sex. Condoms break, birth control pills don't always work, or they just plain don't use protection, they use the "pull out" method. The maturity level of both partners becomes highly evident when they enter into sexual activity and pay no attention to what can happen! In my small little town, where the graduating class is about 89, four girls in my senior class are pregnant, two are pregnant in the freshman, and I've lost count of the amount of girls who are pregnant in the 10th grade. It certainly isn't the "cool" thing to do, and it doesn't make you look mature or intelligent when you have to explain to everyone why you're gaining weight and never in school, so I don't understand the trend at all myself. I also don't think that its fair to blame parents, because most of the girls who are pregnant have wonderful, loving parents. The kids are just.. well.. inept (both partners). Most people who are pregnant use the excuse "well he's allergic to latex..." or "he didn't pull out on time..." :/
- Anna

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 1:32:37 AM
i have a lot of girls at my school that need to read this about being pregant and everything. thank goodness i am not pregant and haven't runed my life with the plans i have for my life. thank you i really enjoyed this.
- Lisa Rose

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 1:32:22 AM
I think its very obvious why girls get pregnant so often,its because they are dieing for sex! That's all they want is sex! I bet they dont care if they get sexually abused they just want it! that's my opinion. Keep the blogs coming!
- Zach

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 1:06:10 AM
Getting pregnant is no longer an accident. There is no reason in the world a girl needes to get pregnant. So when they do, it is not an accident. I believe so many girls want someone to love them forever. So they wont be alone. They see a baby as a way out of there horrible life, or as a way for there boyfriends to stay with them. Every girl has a diffrent reason for getting pregnant whether they admit it to themselves or not.
- Amanda T.

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 1:04:08 AM
I think the main reasons girls get pregnant out of wedlock are because: 1) they don't know where babies come from because health ed is prohibited in some schools or simply taught too late, like in high school, 2) they don't use protection, often because boys pressure against it, 3) they don't understand how to stay abstinent when all they have is pop culture and peer pressure to explain how to deal with human urges, and 4) they have no positive role models, mentors, or loving parents who protect them, teach them self-respect, and help them mature into strong young women. Girls are good people who need to be loved in a positive way, but it's so hard to get it these days in such a troubled, lonely, egocentric society all about instant gratification and greed instead of patience, understanding, and sharing.
- Victoria, 22 years old

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 - 12:19:28 AM
so amny girls now a days are getting pregnant out of wedlock because they think they are so in "love" they dont stop and relize how much haveing un protected sex just once can change their life all i can say is "no glove no love" remember that people.
- jessica

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 9:57:58 PM
the best way to say no to ur bf if he says that he wants a baby and u are under 18 say i am to young
- rebecca

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:33:45 AM
It seems that girls get pregnant because they are so in love with their partners that they do not see anything else, like what the consequeces could be. Either that or they forgot to use protection.
- Mehaa

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:33:30 AM
pregnant teens is a growing problem that has alot of reasons. many of the girls come from broken homes or parents who dont pay enough attention to them. they are looking for someone to love and they think they will find it in a baby.others get pregnant to keep a punk boy around..9 out 10 will NOT stay with you to raise that baby. alot of them are too immature to know how to take care of a baby or think that someone will take care of the baby for them but when it dont happen their child suffers. when you have a baby YOU have to be responsible and do whatever it takes for that baby. if you cant do it then wait. waiting is best for everyone
- Emily

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:33:00 AM
For Your First Question You Asked Have you or someone you know been pregnant? Share your story. Yes I have Been Pregnant 2 Times Before I Didn't have sex like most girls i was rapped when i was 13 and got pregnant and accidentally fell down the stairs while wearing shoes that weren't mine and they were slick shoes and yea i fell lost that kid and then second time I got pregnant i was 14 and it was by a guy who I was Really in love with and when i found i was pregnant i told him on the weekend i found out while at a bridge in my town! a few days later my friend punched me in the stomach because he was mad that i was pregnant with someone else's kid and he was mad it wasn't his! so then i thought i was pregnant again and turns out i wasnt and i was happy! i mean i want kids but not this soon- im now 15 Why do you think so many girls get pregnant? Why does this happen so often? I think so many girls get pregnant because of the fact that they dont want to lose their boyfriends because of a silly problem with their man not wanting to wear a condom i mean he shouldnt be stupid and not wear a condom! well i cant really say anything but condoms hurt me so....i didnt use it..and i was on birth control that i wasnt taking regularly! and it most likely happens often because girls think hey im not going to get pregnant its a 1 and 100 chance i guess i can take that chance and then they do it..and some get pregnant some dont!! Thats all i got to say!! Thanks!
- Katarah

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:31:20 AM
I belive girls get pregnant mostly because once one girl does it, then everyone has to do it(since its the thing or its "cool"). Sometimes it happens at partys when girls drink too much(usually they get abused at party's with secret booz in the drink). Tough life for girls. But i think if you have a good boyfriend that respects your boundaries, i think he is a good man. thanks, hope you talk about it! patrick from ashburn, VA
- Patrick

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:30:22 AM
I got pregnant when I was 19 years old and it saved my life. What I mean by that is that I was living a very self-destructive life on the streets and I was doing a lot of drugs and living in my car. My boyfriend and I got in a car accident in this car/"home" and in the emergency room I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. Right then I decided to stop living the way I was living, but it was really hard. My parents were telling me I was in no position to have a baby and kept asking me what I was going to do and I was set on keeping this baby because it had saved my life, but once my head cleared I realized that that was selfish, I needed to do what was best for the child. A family member stepped up and offered to adopt the baby and she is now almost 2 1/2 and happy and beautiful. Adoption is such a wonderful thing and I'm happy that it worked out so great for us. I got pregnant because I was getting high all the time and being careless and I believe unfortunately that is a factor in teen pregnancies a lot of the time.
- Courtney

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:22:23 AM
well, i knew this girl. she didnt like the way her dad treated her, so she kept having sex with her boyfriend. they were both 14. she heard from people at school, he was gonna break up with her. they were still sexually active, so she decided to not use a condom. she did that purposely to get pregnant. she got pregnant and her parents didnt like it and forced them to get married. what really made me wonder, is if it is really worth all that just to stay with one guy for sex?
- Bekah

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:21:49 AM
Yeah what you wrote was sooo true, I was recently in a relationship where we treated each other horribly and it was nothing close to love, I have a hard time with not wanting lust, but usually I try to find a way to distract myself like with my friends. Thanks so much, maybe this blog will help others not fall into bad relationships as fast and as soon.
- Michaela

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:20:12 AM
i've been preg. before. it was REALLY scary!! i miscarried my baby. but the guy i was with was there the whole time and was willing to help me and be there. however not many guys r like that. they find out that theyre gonna be a daddy and run. i dont think most girls try on purpose. if they do its propobly cuz they think it will make the relationship with the guy theyre with better or it was an accident. the first thing u should do is tell some1 u trust. i told my big brother. then u and that other person need to tell ur parents!!! after that just regularly go to the doctor and make sure everything is ok. dont be scared to tell ur parents. my mom died 2 days after i told her. but she was disapointe but happy at the same time. dont be scared. if u dont tell anyone then ur jsut gonna hurt ur baby and urself!
- aimee

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:19:05 AM
well here's what i think, some teenage girls think that having a child while being a teenager somehow is a status symbol but then they have to realize that with a baby to raise, they can't go to school dances, the prom, graduate or any of the other things that teenagers do! i myself was not a teen mother and didn't have my daughter until i was 33 years old and in what i thought was a stable relationship that turned into an abusive marriage and i've been separated for over two years with intent to divorce at some point! however i have met a really nice guy and have been spending time with him because he respects me and knows that i have a child from a prior marriage and he's fine with that! maybe it's because he's 14 years older than i am or something because it seems older guys know how to treat a lady but these younger guys couldn't possibly know how it is to treat a lady the way she should be treated! now i'm not saying i love this guy, but i do care about him deeply and he cares about me deeply and even if it doesn't turn into marriage that's just fine with us both!
- maureen

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:17:57 AM
Well, we teenagers are kind of in denial. The whole "we're invincible" stuff is what runs through our head during every situation. So if we find someone that we have feelings for and they want to have sex, a teen most likely would. Rebelling for some reason is what teenagers like to do, so having sex is a way to show the parents that you are an adult and you can take care of yourself, the "invincible" reaction in play once more. Hopefully teenage pregnancy rates will decrease, but we can't do much except try and get the word out about STD's and the chances of getting pregnant.
- P.J.

Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 - 12:14:56 AM
i myself was pregnant out of wedlock. i was 17 when i got pregnant and 18 when i had my baby. she is now 3 1/2 months old. when i found out i was pregnant i pretty much knew, there wasn't much surprise and i knew from the beginning what i would do. abortion is not an option and i thought that i could support my child enough to not have to give her up for adoption. unfortunately my journey has been an exceptionally tough one. my daughters father broke up with me when i was 2 months pregnant and i have had no support from him at all. but i am very lucky to have a very supportive family and supportive friends. it has been a struggle and a lot of changes have had to be made for her, but it has all been worth it. i have had to put off college and i barely graduated high school. i just hope that anyone else in my position would do everything in their power to finish school and continue school, for the sake of thier child. it can be done and i hope that i can be an example of that. i believe i got myself in that situation because i was desperate for attention and love and made some mistakes. i also think the fact that i grew up without a strong father figure in my life made me have that desperate feeling. thankfully i have come to forgive myself and accept God's forgiveness and move on with my life for my daughter.
- Meagan

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 11:24:01 PM
i think some girls think its cool to have sex as weird as it sounds trust me its the truth also they think they're in love but they dont realize that there is time later in life for all of that responsibility think about it we're already fed up with chores and homework and drama in our life do you really need it to double???
- yvette

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 11:23:43 PM
there are a lot of reasons so many girls get pregnant out of wedlock. they could be lonely and need someone to "love" them. some girls are just wild. others may do it to keep a relationship, although a strong and healthy relationship waits. God doesn't want these girls to go through this. they're not ready. plus, most boyfriends don't wasnt to help support a childand mother, therefore leaving the girl to do all the work. it's extremely sad!
- cj

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 11:20:07 PM
Many girls get into thses situations but a few means. Some girls who have been abused in thier past lose site of what a guy should treat her like and would fall into temptation thinking 'oh this must be love' and end up being pregnant weather they wanted to be or not. Or it could be the lack of a male presence in thier life weather it be there was no father or no brother to look out for them. I've know several girls who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock. Recently a 16 year old girl in my math class was pregnant and delivered a baby. She said the temtations were good at the moment but when the pregnancy rolled around there were many problems she wasn't ready to handle. Fortunantly the father was willing to help take care of the child but most young fathers just want the pleasure but when it comes time to take care of the baby they're nowhere to be found. Now This girl has grown to be a friend to everyone in the class and has shared some storied about the baby's first few months of life. It's really showed those of us in the classroom what can come of those few breif moments of pleasure and how we should think a moment before diving into things.
- Jennifer

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 6:27:15 PM
I think the main reason is because of the feeling of that if I have a child I will get the love I desire so much for since it would be easier then a committed marriage relationship! Many girls think since they don't get the love they desire that a child would help them get it but truth is it will just make life more miserable and tough if its before marriage!
- Kaitlyn h

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 6:26:54 PM
Love in my opinion is when you know that there is someone that you cant live without.Love also doesnt have to be about a boyfriend. Love is the feelings that you have about your family members. Lust is what you feel when you like someone but dont quite love them yet.
- paige

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 3:08:06 AM
I believe one of the biggest reasons girls get pregnant out of wedlock is the effect of the "absent father syndrome". With so much divorce happening many girls are growing-up without their dads. Most people think that a girl's mom is the only important person a teenager needs. This is false. A teenage girl without a daddy to love her, has no gauge as to how a man should treat a woman. The fatherless teenage girl looks to fill the void by being promiscious. A father's role is vitally important to a girl's development. So, you couple fatherlessness with the media's bombardment of sexual material, in which women seem to "find" their self-esteem in a man, you have an epidemic of young teenage mothers. Also, we need to return to the fact that abstinance is God's Plan. I speak from experience. Find your self-esteem in what God says about you, not a teenage boy, who has raging hormones.
- Phebe

Monday, Feb 25, 2008 - 12:13:40 AM
I feel it's mostly teens that get love confused with lust, i have personal experience with this. Although i am young i do know what love is, i have been in lust and am currently in love. If you are open to find out if it is love or lust you will be able to feel the difference. When you are in love you feel a connection and not just a sexual one. If you are truely in love you can hang out with the other person just sitting there talking or just being together without doing anything physical. As i said, i am young, but i feel i am wise beyond my years.
- Taryn

Sunday, Feb 24, 2008 - 11:23:18 PM
its happening mostly because young adults and even full grown people don't understand how important it is to use protection and be cautious about ur sexual behavior and stuff like that. We're just not informed enuff about condoms, pills, STD's
- Adenine

Sunday, Feb 24, 2008 - 10:32:17 PM
Many women just want to have children. They believe they are happy and completely in 'love' with someone and think the other wants the same thing. Women mistake infatuation and lust so much for love that they allow themselves to get pregnant and then their significant other just runs away. This girl at my school was dating this really nice guy for over a year and got pregnant. She quit school and her boyfriend dumped her because she wanted to get married before she gave birth. Marriage scares some people away. Some girls just believe if they were pregnant, they could keep their man but it doesnt always work that way. We hold higher expectations but we dont always make the right choices to follow up the consequences.
- Kimberly J.

Sunday, Feb 24, 2008 - 10:27:19 PM
hi dawson! i know this has absolutely nothing to do with love or lust but i just thought that you should know that i think you have a very comforting voice and it reminds me of my grandpa that i miss so much...i listen to your show just so that i can hear your voice because it comforts me um im glad that you help all of these teens around the world! thank you dawson
- Kayeln

Sunday, Feb 24, 2008 - 12:53:32 PM
I know someone who's been pregnant outside of wedlock. Two times, as a matter of fact. She's my oldest sister. It's easy to explain though, it's all the work of lust. She's one of those people who constantly think they're in 'love' with people, and she's never had a real emotional relationship. That's one reason I think women get pregnant outside of marriage, because they think they're in love. Another time I came across someone who became pregnant so the guy couldn't leave her. But of course, that still didn't stop him from leaving her. Another reason may be that they want children, but not a commitment for a long-term relationship. And another could be influences from other people. They see other people with babies, and how much attention they get, and decide 'Hey, maybe I should have a kid too..' Also, they could see things on TV about people with children, and happy families, and think 'Hey, maybe if I have children I can have a nice life like those people.' I mean, a lot of women who do get pregnant while unmarried(who actually try to) aren't exactly living the American dream. And lastly, a reason that just popped into my head, but might not be true.. they want money. Almost everyone knows that you get checks from the govornment for every kid you have, if you're on welfare or something, and women with not so cushy lives might try and use that money for other things, like possibly drugs. And that is where I stop, because I don't want to hog this comment page.
- Richard

Friday, Feb 22, 2008 - 9:27:42 PM
hm some guys make the other ones do it and wehn they dont want to and dont want to get hurt if they say no they dont wnat the other one ot get mad or the could be swith someboyud who only wants sex yeah i have known someone she has a baby no home her mom takes care of it and a crappy car her bf left her
- lexie

Friday, Feb 22, 2008 - 9:24:26 PM
Hey Dawson I have sent you alot of stuff but this one I can't say anything on cuse I have been throw it.
- jamie h.