What To Do If You're Pregnant - Part 2

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Last week, I mentioned several suggestions you can do if you find out you’re pregnant and don’t know what to do. I want to encourage you to look at those suggestions before reading any further. (Click here to find them.) It goes without saying when you’re pregnant and don’t know what to do, life becomes extremely confusing, worrisome, and even terrifying. It was never God’s intention for you to be pregnant and at the same time be alone. That is why I am making the next suggestion.


Suggestion #4 – Find yourself a support group.
Make a list of all the people you trust, then prioritize them as to who is the most important and trustworthy person in your life. Go to each of these individuals and get their advice as what you ought to do with the baby. You will find that as these people listen and share with you, an answer that makes sense for you will become apparent. But in the end, it is up to you to decide what you should do next. Never forget this is your baby and your decision to make. There are also organizations that will help you decide what to do and then stand by you to support you in that decision. For example, you can call an organization like Option Line at 1-800-395-HELP. Option Line consultants refer each caller to a pregnancy resource center in her area for answers to questions about abortion, pregnancy tests, STD's, adoption, parenting, medical referrals, housing, and many other issues. The toll-free number is available to callers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Make your decision about your baby slowly and wisely, because once you have made that decision, it’s almost impossible to go back. Here’s an example of how everyone learns something new when they become involved in helping someone who is pregnant.

“Recently a 16 year old girl in my math class was pregnant and delivered a baby. She said the temptations were good at the moment but when the pregnancy rolled around there were many problems she wasn't ready to handle…Now this girl has grown to be a friend to everyone in the class and has shared stories about the baby's first few months of life...” (Jennifer)


Suggestion #5: Make a list of choices you have before you.
Once you become pregnant, your options quickly become few. You can keep your baby. Many pregnant girls choose this option.

Raising a child is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do.

There is nothing wrong with that decision, but it does mean your entire life will be radically changed for many, many years to come. Raising a child is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do. It’s at least five times harder than you think it will be. This is not to scare you. It is however, to prepare you. No doubt like Brandi, you have talked to someone who’s raising a child on their own. Their stories can be both beautiful and at the same time overwhelming.

“Do you know how many times I have to hear from friends about how they wish they would've waited to have children till they were a little bit older and ready...They didn't get to enjoy our last years in high school, going to college, and ‘partying’. They were at home with their babies or could only go out when they had a sitter.” (Brandi)

You can give the baby up for adoption.
I must admit, I am biased about this decision. My wife and I have had the privilege of adopting two boys at a very young age. We were unable to bear children, so this option for us was a God-send. It is never easy to give up your baby for adoption, but it does give your baby some real advantages. The major one is your baby will have a father in its life. This is a huge blessing for the child. That doesn’t mean if you choose not to adopt, you have done something wrong. But always keep in mind adoption as an option. “I was 15 when I had my son Aiden. I didn’t know who I was going to tell or even what I was going to do…I wanted to graduate from high school so I had the hard decision of if I was going to keep my son or not... I eventually came up with the decision to have my brother adopt him and that way I can still see him and so he knows that I am his mom...” (Sara) Sara’s story is very moving of how she came to the conclusion to adopt.

You can also abort the baby.

Make your decision out of your deepest value system…

This option is difficult for me to blog on because I am very much pro-life. Plus, I have talked with many girls on my show who have aborted and now feel terrible about it. That doesn’t mean every person who aborts feels awful about what has been done. But whatever you do, make your decision out of your deepest value system and don’t let anyone talk you in or out of anything you are not completely convinced of. As you consider these options, remember the rule I believe first – always ask yourself what is best for the baby.

“I got pregnant in high school a few times and it's not that big of a deal. You just get an abortion. And then that's it. End of story. No harm, no foul. And definitely no need to freak out over nothing…you don't need to let it get you down or ruin your life. You just suck it up, deal with it, and move on with your life. It's not rocket science.” (Anonymous)

“Everything happens for a reason, logical or not. I’ve always said that God couldn’t and wouldn’t give me anything He didn’t think I could handle and that’s the truth in more ways than one. I guess you could say I blessed a family with twin boys the day before Thanksgiving. I made the decision to have my babies adopted because that was the best AND ONLY option...” (Kristyn)

No matter how you got pregnant or with who or what decision you made about your pregnancy, my commitment to you remains the same. We all make mistakes. We all have decisions to make. It is those decisions that shape our lives. May God bless you as you seek to make the right decision.

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NEXT WEEK’S TOPIC – SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES

Next week I’m going to blog on sexually transmitted diseases.

If you’ve ever contracted an STD or know someone who has, please tell me about it.

Thursday, Apr 3, 2008 - 7:51:56 PM
One of my Best friends got pregnant when she was 15 but she ended up losing it. Her boyfriend at the time found out she was pregnant and wanted to leave her because he "wasn't ready". Now they are together again and she is 17. She is trying to have a baby with him while he thinks she's on birth controll. Its a sad situation. He doesn't like me b.c. I tell her the truth about things but she has pushed me away to stay with him b.c. she "loves him". She's not ready to be a mother and he treats her horribly.... but she still wants to bring an innocent baby into the situation :(
- Erin

Thursday, Apr 3, 2008 - 7:51:35 PM
My name is tia, i am 16 years old, and I think if a teenager gets pregnant they should be able to take care of the child. I would never give up a child. Imagine never knowing your parents. all you know is that you were given up at birth. it would be awful. I don't think anyone should be allowed to have abortions. Abortions are MURDER!! You are taking a childs life away. I have a friend who thought she was pregnant. She wanted to be pregnant, yet she was getting into all of this stuff. She has been arrested several times. Auto theft, Drinking, drugs. Then i have another friend. She wanted the baby. She was going to care for it and everything. Just the other day she had a miscarage. That same day her bf broke up with her. If a bf is going to break up with the girl over that, he doesn't deserve to care for a child.
- Tia

Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008 - 9:49:37 PM
I think that if a teen gets pregnant, she better have a job, a house, and money to support the both of them. I am 27 and I am currently pregnant with my 4th kid. If I would have gotten pregnant before I turned 18, my parents would have had me hung by my toes. It's really not attractive for a young girl to be pregnant so young...It gets in the way of your childhood, and it tells people that you are careless when it comes to intercourse. The best thing to do would be to wait until you are over 18, or until you become FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND MENTALLY STABLE!!! For you young girls, it's not funny or is it cute to be pregnant. You wont get nothing but negative attention. Giving birth is painful, and so is having a Cesarean section. I have done both, and neither is fun. Babies are expensive, and require alot of your time and patience. Use protection, and NEVER DEPEND ON A MAN!!!!! HE WONT ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YA!!!
- Melissa F.

Monday, Mar 31, 2008 - 11:43:43 PM
I am 14 and still a virgin and never thought about getting pregnant or having sex, but one of my school friends is pregnant with her 1st child at the age of 14. Her sister currently 2 kids at the age of 16. I blame their mistakes on their mother. Their mother wasnt really their most of their lives and she lived in a shelter while her kids lived in foster care. When she finally became stabbled enough to obtain her 3 kids, she let them do w/e they wanted to. My friend's boyfriend is now 18 but they commenced their relationship when he was 17 and she was 13. He mother let her stay over his house and him stay over her's. She also let her daughter stay out till w/e time she please. It was like she never had control nor wanted it. Now to me a mother is suppose to keep her daughter safe from Crap like that, not keep her close to it. For her mother not being in her life to guide her to the right path, she went the wrong way and now have to go through the troubles of being a parent herself. Not to mention my friend Dropped out of the 8th grade! Which is Cazy! I cant only imagain what she must be going through. TEEN Girls keep your head high and have safe Sex or atleast use birthcontrol. For the sake of little kids they don't want Crappy lives or have no chance of life. Do whats best for them dont Be Selfish!
- -Nena

Monday, Mar 31, 2008 - 11:42:13 PM
ok i think abortions are wrong their killing a person that didnt do anything wrong to anybody so ur advice is wonderful
- erica

Monday, Mar 31, 2008 - 11:42:00 PM
I'm really glad the topic is about STD's. It is a very important subject that I think a lot of teenagers don't talk about or know a lot about. i don't have an STD to my knowledge and I don't know anybody with one. But the thing is I think a lot of people walk around and they might have an STD but they don't know because they haven't been tested. That's the danger of it because its not an open thing for everybody. In a way I'm scared to have sex because I'm scared of getting an STD. I have been warned from my parents about it and I've read books about it. And knowing nothing is full proof and so its always possible even if you are being careful to get pregnant or get an STD. I think everybody should get tested (unless you aren't doing anything sexual with anyone) That will keep you in the know with how healthy you are and also if you do find out you have one then you can get treated right away. Just remember all the dangers with sex. Be as responsible as you can be. The best thing is to not have sex but we all know many teenagers are having sex. So the best thing is to have protection and try to find out about your partner's sexual history as much as possible. Be in the know-it will benefit you in the long run.
- Megan

Monday, Mar 31, 2008 - 11:34:25 PM
Well im 14 yrs old and my cousin she got prenat at 15 so know she is about to be seven months and for her finding out that she was pregnat was hard. Not hard in the way that the baby's father wasnt goin to be there for here but because she was to young to have one.However if you count with the support of your boyfriend and your parents there is no reason why taking abortion and adoption into a consideration.now she is really happy waiting for that moment and we are all there for here no matter wat.In a babys life if a mother is there for him then it dosent matter if others arent because in the end the person who let you down is the one that will regret it when they see what they let go. However if you dont want to have a baby dont ruin it for them because they dont ask to be here give them the respec they need and respect yourself as well.
- alexa

Monday, Mar 31, 2008 - 11:33:11 PM
When i was 15 i got preganet and didnt know what to do the first thing i did was talked to my mom even thought she might get dissaponted dosent meed she dont love any more than she dose well see took me to the docter to find out what to do but thay had to end the pregnasy because it tun out life or death for me but no matter what your family is all ways there for u thay will get up set but thay do get over it and thay do love as much and thay did befor
- Kaz

Monday, Mar 31, 2008 - 1:36:16 AM
I am not a teenager but I did get pregnant out of wedlock, I was 22 and let me tell you no matter what age you are it is still scary to tell parents. I had planned on marrying the guy until I started thinking about our future, I mean my daughters and mine not his. Did I want to live the way he does? What can he offer us? I was lucky I decided to wait until Melody was born to get married, well when I was only 4 months pregnant me and melodys dad broke it off for lots of reasons, but I met a man who was supportive of me and my life decisions and started dating me while I was still pregnant. I married him when melody was 6months old. I am still married to him. I look back now and I am so glad that I didn't just get married because I was pregnant. That would be my advice to all girls who get pregnant, do not jump into the marriage, wait to make sure it will work out because divorce is so messy especially when childeren are involved, not to mention expensive. Think about your futures. You and your child
- april

Sunday, Mar 30, 2008 - 7:03:02 PM
Well I have never once in my life had sex or gotten pregnant....I am thankful I was smart enough to not do it....I know that if in the future when I have a boyfriend and he pressures me then I will tell him to either stop or get away from me...I have no problem with teenage pregnacy because my sister got pregnant at an early age ....I now have a beautiful niece(well 2 really...but the other one didn't come until later)She was one of the luckier girls because her boyfriend stayed with her....They just recently got married and have been together for 8 years!!!
-

Sunday, Mar 30, 2008 - 7:02:34 PM
so ya im 16 years old and im pregnant i dont know if i should keep it or no im scared to tell the dad i think he will leave me he doesnt really want a baby i dont know what to do...
- kylee

Thursday, Mar 27, 2008 - 10:14:18 PM
Alright, so I'm a 6 month pregnant 18 yr. old who lost my virginity in an act of love from me, lust from the baby's father.. then soon was informed that I had a curable STD. Now my decisions are being made based on what I've been reading & I'm seeking advise from a guidance couns. Yeah it's crazy tough, but I've been able to cope with everything.. I've decided. A.) It's lust from his end, he expects things, I don't- he gets angry quickly when things don't go his way, I look at things not going my way are like that because it's not supposed to be that way.. he wants sex, and I'm seriously sick of it.. eat, sex, sleep? Hello not a horn dog here buddy! If I love him & he just says he loves me.. he's lying to himself & the people he tells he loves me.. and he lied to me.. along with countless other things.. B.) My baby doesn't need a father in it's life 24/7.. personally.. I find I'm calmer now without my father around cracking jokes and trying to give me his input all the time when it's not in a way that's kind to the ears where as, since I've found out I'm gonna be a mommy, I've wanted my Mommy.. & I'm lucky enough to have her close in my life.. there to listen & give me her ideas but not tell me what to do. C.) If he just wants sex & doesn't really want to grow up even though he's playing that card now, he hasn't saved money or offered to help me really.. he's just used the word "daddy" as a title for attention.. If he's not ready to grow up, I'm not ready to deal with an infant and an over sized kid from another mother at the same time. My baby comes first.. D.) Girls! You don't need him if he's telling you times to be home, when to call & who you can and can't talk to! And your baby doesn't need a daddy as much as he or she needs mommy to survive.. There's a reason why girls carry the little ones! We tend to think way more about everything.. [[in most cases, there are tons of girls who would rather complain and gain attention from it than get off their butt and get some responsibility on their shoulders!]] && in some cases it is better for daddy to have those babies.. --- As far as the STD thing goes.. They're everywhere.. just like germs.. only this germ you get with no warning, unless you know the person has something.. and in most cases, people don't know they have what they have until they've been tested or it's too late.. yes it's unfortunate.. but it happens.. And just like with every other thing you can get, there are precautions you can take.. it's up to you to really do it though..
- Ashleymegan

Thursday, Mar 27, 2008 - 1:31:34 AM
I was diagnosed with genital herpes about a year ago. I am only 20 now. I never would have in my life thought this could happen to me. It has changed my entire life forever. I no longer can date as I used to, or even at the most best relationships, be as intimate as I used to could be. This is a VERY common disease and most people do not know the facts about it. 1 out of 5 people are said to have genital herpes. And 70% of people who contract this disease, get it from a partner who has absolutely NO SIGNS of it. Young people should get more educated on this disease, even though it cannot kill you, it stays with you for LIFE! Herpes affects more people then we will probably ever know. So to any youngsters reading this PLEASE be cafeful and read the facts... and remember that condoms do little protect against Hsv 1, Hsv 2 (herpes) . An as with any std, it only takes one time to catch one. And stds do not discriminate!!!
- Coutney A.

Wednesday, Mar 26, 2008 - 10:33:55 PM
I Wanna Talk about the STD thing. Mkay well. im not really sure if HPV is an STD but... Mkay I know someone who has it. She did not get it from having sex, she was born with it. It ran in her family on her fathers side. I get Very Irritated when people say she is a wh*re because she has it. Everyone thinks she got it by sleeping around. It makes life hard enough for her. Then you Add the Stress of the bullying and stuff. its just hard.
-

Wednesday, Mar 26, 2008 - 10:32:41 PM
yeah its deff crazy how people contract those diseases. they need to be more careful with whom they sleep with because whoever they slept with they also slept with the other people that they had slept with
- Christine

Wednesday, Mar 26, 2008 - 9:42:45 PM
i only know a person who has HIV and has had it for the last 17 years and she's still living and she obtained it from having sex with somebody!
- maureen

Tuesday, Mar 25, 2008 - 11:49:59 PM
STD's are a painful reality to the seriousness of sex as a deadly past-time. They are many more times painful than Jock Itch or a Yeast Infection. Your friends leave you when they find out, and strangers walk a way when the disease you have develops a foul smell. What happens if you have a job? Co-workers leave or ungrateful employers may fire you. This is partly why I strongly believe in abstinence. THe consequences are to great. First, I want to talk about a dear friend of mine. I was seeking a way out of drug and alcohol, even with the requests of the local police department; I would not leave the life style behind. I told God, "I need a reason to leave." That was when I met my friend. I met him ten years ago; he was recently released from prison. He was mean, uncertain, and unforgiving. There was still a little boy spark; it kept me interested in being his friend. We cooked, cleaned, and caused trouble together. We smiled, fought like cats and dogs, and went places together. The topic of a relationship came up. That was when I was informed why we would never be more. I am still friends with this man. We have developed many safety friendship rules. There will always be pain for the indepthness we will never reach, yet we choose to look beyond the can not haves and influence the positive times we have together. We make the best of the friendship we have now, inspite of the hardships that prison brought him then. Secondly, I am very lucky. I used to be married to someone who slept around. The doctors thought first that I had a pelvic infection. STD's and pelvic infections start out the same. However, it did turn out that I had a cureable disease. I few pills later, I was well.
- Sonya B.

Tuesday, Mar 25, 2008 - 9:46:14 PM
no i have never been pregnant but i have been close and it wasnt by chose. but these girls at my school that are pregnant or who have kids while in school really strugle or usaly end up droping out and have low self estem and everything.
- Lisa Rose

Tuesday, Mar 25, 2008 - 9:45:33 PM
this is probally a problem at my school to but i guess i am luck that i am not stupid enough to sleep with someoen when i dont know them and we are not maried and exspecialy if i dont know if they are not caring something
- Lisa Rose

Tuesday, Mar 25, 2008 - 12:49:39 AM
I first found out when I was pregnant during the summer of 2007. I was so scard of what my boyfriend was going to say. When I told him he automatically suggested abortion. Later on through the term he grew to the idea. This was a very difficult time for me and it is for any other teenage girl. But I am proud to say that on January 16, 2008 I gave birth to beautiful healthy baby girl named Alisah. The baby's father and I are no longer together because if we still were Alisah would not be here.
- Kate S.

Tuesday, Mar 25, 2008 - 12:48:36 AM
well this is just sad to think of all the things that go on in this world. well im 14 fixing to be 15 and there is a girl in my school that is 7 motnths pregnate and me and her talk but i wouldn't call us bestfriends. but i take her baby things all the time and she just gets this look on her face like awww man look what i have gooton my self into and so im just woundering how do i help her out and comfort her.
- katie