The Truth About Condoms

“My secret to avoiding STDs is staying away from sex all together. That’s the best way to avoid anything, and it’s not really a secret, it’s common sense, really. A lot of guys would probably be like one time can’t hurt anything but that’s all it takes is once for ANYthing to happen. I’m really committed to my decision to not have sex until marriage. I don’t think you can trust anybody or anything with your health. You have to be extra EXTRA careful nowadays because if you make a wrong decision, your life can be changed in a split second. If you have future plans and goals you won’t want to mess things up by getting pregnant too early. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you don’t put yourself in that situation then you really don’t have anything to worry about. The secret is staying away from sex all together. It may not be easy or popular but it’s the safest way out and you won’t regret it in the long run.”

• When used properly, latex condoms can help (though not completely) protect you and your partner from unplanned pregnancy, reduce the risk of HIV infection (which causes AIDS) and many, but not all, STDs.
  
  
• Condoms are 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy when used consistently and correctly.
  
  
• The first year effectiveness rate in preventing pregnancy among typical condom users on average is 86 percent. This includes pregnancies resulting from errors in condom use.
  
  
• In any sort of nonexclusive sexual relationship--or in any relationship in which one partner's HIV status is unknown - you should automatically be using a condom, even if your partner is on the pill or using another form of contraception.
  
  
• Condom breakage or slippage can occur (somewhere around 2 percent of the time), but studies indicate this rarely happens when condoms are properly used. Fit is important. If it's too tight, a condom is more likely to break. If it's too loose, it may slip off.
  
  
• If you use a condom with a sperm-killing (spermicidal) cream or jelly, the risk of pregnancy is further decreased.
  
  
• It's important to use a new condom for each act of vaginal, anal or oral sex. You can also get STDs (including HIV) from anal and oral sex, too. Using a latex condom to prevent transmission of HIV is more than 10,000 times safer than not using a condom.
  
  
• There is no definitive study about condom effectiveness for all STDs. But several studies have demonstrated that condoms, when used consistently and correctly, can protect against the transmission of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis, and may protect against genital herpes and syphillis.
  
  
• Stay away from alcohol and other drugs, as they may make you take risks, like having sex without a condom.
  
  
• To learn how to use condoms, read the directions on the package and practice before you have sex.
  
  
• The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explains that the term “condom failure” often imprecisely refers to the percentage of women who become pregnant over the course of a year in which they reported using condoms as their primary method of birth control - even if they did not use condoms every time they had intercourse. The CDC concluded, “Clearly these statistics don't report condom failure but user failure.”
  
  
• The book "Contraceptive Technology" explained, “Only three of 100 couples that use condoms perfectly for one year will experience an unintended pregnancy.”
  

Thursday, May 1, 2008 - 1:31:30 AM
Kudos to you my friend. I have a few co-workers who have gotten pregnant while using condoms & while the female was on BIRTH CONTROL! There really isnt any thing that works a 100%. Lukily I dont know anyone who has gotten an STD but whos to say they would share that information willingly. Take care my friend, your doing an amazing job!
- from a DMLive myspace friend ~ Jay

Tuesday, Apr 29, 2008 - 9:45:45 PM
I was always the girl that said that I would never have sex until i was married, but in January, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. We had been going out for 6 months. I was his first, and he was my first. He told me that people shouldn't have sex because it's fun. They should only do it for love, so I started thinking wow, I guess he really does love me. He had been talking about how he wanted to get married and spend the rest of his life with me, even though we were only 14. I was stupid enough to believe him. In March, I went to buy condoms for us, because his friend told us that we had to stop using his and buy our own. We only ended up using 2 of them. The next week was spring break and I had to go to my grandma's house. My boyfriend was at a party and started hanging out with one of his ex-girlfriends. He started liking her. His friend got mad at him and told him that he had to choose between me and his ex, because he didnt want my boyfriend to start cheating on me. So, he decided to leave me for his ex. That's when I regretted ever doing anything with him. Since he was my first, it was really hard to let him go. He tried really hard to get me back, and after 3 weeks, I finally gave in. I probably shouldn't have, but I did. Even though we're back together, it doesn't change the fact that I regret having sex with him. Now I don't believe anything he tells me. He can tell me that he loves me all he wants, but I still don't believe him. So, if you are in a relationship, and you're thinking about having sex, you shoud really think about it hard before you make your decision.
-

Tuesday, Apr 29, 2008 - 8:40:04 PM
yes it is THAT hard to not have sex! I'm sad to say that we have never used them before...and we play around at least once a week. sinc Dec 2006. We have been lucky and I'm a sophomore in college right now. I know if we have a baby everything will change but I know we can make it through together. We connect way deeper than any high school couple. For instance, i have just done something horrible to him by modeling certain pics online...he is STILL hurt :( but he is with me and loves me all the same. I want to stop having sex until we are married...we have successfully stopped for 3 weeks! :) but then I got that feeling like I missed it... so now its been 3 weeks.... but like.. I dont know why I miss it.... cuz afterwards... I dont feel satifsifed and amazed. Why do I keep going through it?
- Cutie Puppy

Tuesday, Apr 29, 2008 - 1:59:00 AM
i believe that the easiest way to not get pregnent is to, NOT HAVE SEX. its NOT that hard...
- me

Tuesday, Apr 29, 2008 - 1:58:42 AM
Dawson, I like listening to ur show and I love hearing other people's problems and seeing how you react to them and I read your blogs frequently, but how come you never address any gay themed topics in your blogs???? I don't think I have seen one being mentioned yet. What's the deal???
- Ray

Monday, Apr 28, 2008 - 9:55:15 PM
Dawson i have real problems with my family they think im a hoe cause i have had so many bf wat should i do?
- melodie

Monday, Apr 28, 2008 - 9:51:41 PM
I haven't had sex yet because I'm wait for the right person. i'm not saying I'm going to wait until marriage because i'm not sure if want to get married. i mean how do you know that the peron you married dose not have an STD and is not going to cheat they your just going to sitting there like "oh wait my whole life for this person and turned out to be like all the others". but when i do deicide to have sex I'm going to make sure it's love and not lust and who knows I might end like my parent and end up marrying that person. But will use protection and take birth control and if all fails the morning after pill so I mean no sex until marriage cool but it's not for everyone teen are still going to have sex nomatter what I just hope and pray that they are being safe
- Dominique

Monday, Apr 28, 2008 - 9:43:51 PM
Well, when I was younger (and I'm talking a young child) and I didn't really know what sex was or how sacred it's supposed to be, I was curious and fooled around with some girlfriends. And when I got a little bit older (junior high), I would let older boys feel on my breasts and laugh about it. We were young kids and it was funny and didn't mean anything. Maybe I'm overreacting, but thinking about it makes me want to cry sometimes. I've grown up and matured (I'm 15 now), and I realize that body is a temple. It just hurts to know that I let people take advantage of me when I was a young, naive kid. Now, I don't let anybody lay a finger on this gift because I'm saving it for my one, faithful, loving husband.
- Serena

Sunday, Apr 27, 2008 - 11:47:21 PM
Dawson, I love the fact you are talking about this. I fully support everything you have said here. I started a safer safe club in school back when I was in high school. I went to a school that only taught not to have sex. So many girls in my school were pregnant (26 my freshman year alone) and our STD ratio was outragious. Finally our principle approved my idea and by the end of the first year our STD ratio was decreased by over half and my junior year was the first year where there was only 2 teenaged pregnacies. In my courses I taught how to properly use a condom, passed them out to guys and girls alike, and I encouraged people to get tested. Now do not get me wrong I do not want people feeling like it's ok to just go out and have sex. Girls listen to me I am a 22 year old woman has gone through teenage hormones (and bad desicions that come with them) and I've been married. You should not have sex out of what feels like love. It might even be love but, hormones and stomach butterflies can be tricky very tricky. People say oh I feel love thats how I know I'm in love. Love is not just a feeling love is work and commitment. It's not always happy and sweet. Love is work. It's wonderful when you get there but it's not happiness made to order. Why have sex over a feeling that can come and then go. Sure sex is fun and a thrill, but the heartache and worries are NOT WORTH IT!! Ride a roller-coaster or go on a trip if you need thrill and excitment. The risk is not worth it. Boys come and go, men come and go, but babies and STD's and regret and sorrow stay. Guys don't think of sex the same way. We are in love they are in lust. Even when you are commited and they love you the sex is a fun release and physical arousal and satisfaction for them. For us women it comes from love and I want for itimacy. Don't give your body and heart for fun. Wait the time will come. You have other things to worry about. But if the temptation is to great to bear then please I beg each of you be safe. . . everytime.
- Julianne

Sunday, Apr 27, 2008 - 10:21:29 PM
Dawson, Recently I've really been thinking about this topic. My boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while and we are in a serious and committed relationship. I couldn't have asked for a better guy to be with. Although we have had sex, a recent "scare" has persuaded us to make the decision to not have sex until we get married (which will be in 4 years as the earliest). I'm really happy with this decision and it proves his love for me even more that he is willing to stop for the sake of both of our futures. I know sometimes it will be hard and very tempting, but I hope we can stay strong because I know it will make our relationship even stronger. Thanks for posting this blog and helping me to understand how important the decision we have made really is.
- Mary

Sunday, Apr 27, 2008 - 9:57:16 PM
im fourteen, a few monthes ago, i decided to take a step, and that was sex. when this happened, it was the biggest mistake, of my life. and i lost something i will never be able to get back. I was and still am way to young to be doing anything with such big consequences. well, i was so madly in love with a guy, had such low-confidence, and was willing to do anything to keep this guy in my life. It ended up , having sex was what he wanted, and all he wanted. We did not use a condom, and suprisingly after reading this, it's not my biggest regret of this situation. I was used, and then dropped. , I am still not able to get over this guy , we don't talk anymore, he hates me. Sadly, I'd still do anything to be close with him again. I'm not over the situation, and still am upset. So if your a teen, espcielly me. I was only thirtenn years old. , I wasnt ready and I'm so emotionally attached , I just can't movve on. I have decidded to not have sex before marriage.
- lucy.

Sunday, Apr 27, 2008 - 6:01:36 PM
i recently, as in the last month have decided no more sex until marriage; i have had two sexual partners and there are more times that i regret than have fond memories of. some close calls, and some not, but i think that society puts too much not only pressure but hype, for lack of a better word, on sex. i am now a born again Christian and realize the errors of my ways, i have repented and sought forgiveness for my selfish acts and i pray and ask that God helps keep me from committing willful sins, that i may receive the knowledge to discern the difference of good and evil. my ex used to tell me that it is not possible for her to get pregnant while it is that time of the month, however a friend of ours said that is when she got pregnant with her one son; i looked into it and it is less likely then over other times of the month; but as always there is still a chance, it is small but as our friend found out still very possible. my ex fiance(?) is one of the partners an she too is now a strong Christian and has sought forgiveness, her and my friendship has grown immensely since we have put God at the center of our lives; i think, no, i know now that having God as the center of any friendship / relationship is the key as long as both people are in agreeance that God is at the center of their relationship / friendship then everything will work out as it should and the two people can help each other grow spiritually and mentally as well. God Bless L --> ENZO
- Lorenzo

Sunday, Apr 27, 2008 - 2:53:18 PM
Dawson I couldnt agree more. I know several firends who used condoms all the time and they both have children.
- from a DMLive myspace friend ~ James

Sunday, Apr 27, 2008 - 1:16:44 PM
Sex definitely isn't isn't my greatest memory. I was fooled into it and developed a 'whatever' attitude towards it, which was how I lost my virginity to a complete *******. Not only had he been feeding me lies about him being sick (with a fictional disease which would supposedly kill him within the next 3 months, though this is about a year from when this all happened), he tried to lie both about being a virgin and not being a virgin. Anyways, believing the stories about his 'illness,' I was always scared and worried for him- especially when his sister started talking to me on yahoo about how bad he was doing, etc. There was one thing that made my decision for me though. I remember him saying, in a joking manner but nonetheless, to not let him die a virgin. For some reason, that struck home like a bullet. Out of pity, and guilt (supposedly he loved me and I felt bad for not loving him back) I agreed to have sex with him- something that I'll always regret. I gave myself to this scumbag who'd been lying the entire time. You see: first off, he hadn't been sick. Never was. It wasn't even his sister I'd been talking to, it was probably just him. Also, awhile after I broke up with him (finally the feeling of how I really just didn't like the guy got through) he pretended to have amnesia caused by his 'disease.' Sadly enough, the only thing he couldn't remember would be me, or the fact he'd ever been in a relationship. Anyways, the point of my story is to treat yourself better than just an item, or just a body. Sex is something that shouldn't be given a whatever attitude- it can mean alot to your partner, and it can mean tons to you later on in life. And if you do decide to have sex, choose someone worthy of you who'll care enough to protect the both of you. Even if condoms aren't guaranteed, 86% guarantee is much better than 0%. Personally, I'm extremely thankful that nothing went wrong and I didn't get pregnant or end up contracting a STD, though we did use protection. And Dawson's right about one thing for sure: it won't protect your heart.
- Stephanie

Saturday, Apr 26, 2008 - 11:11:45 PM
I'm so glad I have decided to not have sex before marrige, there are atleast a dozen girls in my school who are already pregnant, if I was in high school then it would be more expected, but there are only three grades in my school, 5th, 6th, and 7th. I've heard my friends talking about the girls who are pregnant, it's horrible, and I'm sure that those girls are very regretful from all the hurtfull things people have said about them.
- Kelly

Saturday, Apr 26, 2008 - 11:11:06 PM
i started having sex at 16 yrs old... never used protection with the bf then cause he was sterile.. got together with a diff bf at 17 1/2 yrs ... the only day he was worried abouut protection was the day i conceved my son... so i kinda regret the fact i was barly 18 and preg.... but i wouldnt give up my son for nothing... i have always beleived there is a reason for everything... i beleive i was ment to have my son then to save my life... save me from myselfs harm... but i do beleive u should always use condoms... kids r not as easy to raise by urself as people think... and exspecially when the child has lots of health problems... its HARD...
- Flutter

Saturday, Apr 26, 2008 - 9:50:55 PM
I have only had sex with one person, but have never regretted it because she is the love of my life and we plan on getting married. I have been bestfriends with my girlfriend for eight years. Dawson is right when he says bestfriends make the best girl/boyfriends, because you should become bestfriends and love that person more than anyone before having sex. People really need to know if they are in love or lust before having sex, because it is meaningless if you are not in love and will make you confused if your not in love. It is just a short lasting thrill that will make you want more, . My girlfiend and I have been going out for almost three wonderful years and the only stress we ever have is with school. I'm graduating from college in a couple of weeks and she is a sophmore in college. I plan on going to law school next semester and she is going to be transferring to the school closest to my law school, and we will get married within a couple of years!
- Brent

Saturday, Apr 26, 2008 - 8:59:03 PM
me and my girlfriend were going out for a bout a year and a half when we had sex for the first time and so every time after that all she wanted was sex and i didn't want to but i thought i loved her so i gave in and when she thought she was pregnant things went do hill but good thing for us she wasn't but when we broke up she thought that i was using her for sex when i never really wanted to
- anthony

Saturday, Apr 26, 2008 - 8:46:28 PM
I regret EVER having sex. I had sex for the first time because I was touched by a man we thought we could trust. I finally told my mom the other day. I had called your "hotline" the day before i told my mom. I wish i wouldve never done it i beg EVERYBODY to wait please just please please wait!! please!!
- rather stay anonymous

Saturday, Apr 26, 2008 - 10:41:35 AM
thats so ture see a couple of years ago i was with this one guy and i thought we wer beeing safe by useing a condome well a month aftetr we sleeped togeater i turnd out to be preagnt and i coulndt belive it it was hard to face because the condome didnt brake but i found that the only way to be safe was not to have sex with ne one because no matter what your never relly safe it just like that saying there is no such thing as a safe cigaret its true some time u have to lean every thing the hard way but it beater to know the truth then to never know.
- Kelly