Part 3 - Sex and Father Hunger

Thurs June 13 2007
i think its becasue they want so bad to have somone to fit in with all the other people that when the time comes for them to get a boyfriend they get takin atvantige of and they go along with it - Justin

Wed June 12 2007
I don't think that it is just the loss of a father figure. I think that it can be a mother too! I know I wanted attention from a guy because I did not get it from my mom. She is a acholic and I did not get alot of attention. I never had sex or anything but I wanted to chat with guys on the internet. They wanted to talk to me and it made me feel loved. I quit all that along time ago and I am on God's side now. But I do think that you can be missing a mom figure to give into guys too. - Brandi

Wed June 12 2007
I don't think that it is just the loss of a father figure. I think that it can be a mother too! I know I wanted attention from a guy because I did not get it from my mom. She is a acholic and I did not get alot of attention. I never had sex or anything but I wanted to chat with guys on the internet. They wanted to talk to me and it made me feel loved. I quit all that along time ago and I am on God's side now. But I do think that you can be missing a mom figure to give into guys too. - Rhonda

Wed June 12 2007
well dawson i think girls give into guys,b/c maybe they feel preshured into having sex with them, so yeah that's why i think girls give into guys but i also think that it could be b/c they just need a father figure in their lives so yeah that's how i feel about it. oh and dawson ur show has helped me alot so thank you ur biggest fan out there haley! thank you sooo much!!!! - Haley

Wed June 12 2007
I thank it is nice what you are doing to help people out with there probles i you are the nice prosen i know - Corey

Wed June 12 2007
dawson i think that you are absoulty right but not so much right........i think that the only reason why girls have sex is because they think its cool also they just want to be just like every other ho who has had it its not right and i dont think you should have sex at all..............thats wat i have to say \. P.S. i love your show if i miss it im sad - Krystia

Wed June 12 2007
sorry to say but i don't believe father hunger is the reason that girls give in to men. i think it's because straight up some girls are insecure and any chance they get to fill that hole, they will whether it is with ho-ho's or MEN!!! p.s. i love the show. keep being the best to help us teens be our best!!! - Alexis

Tues June 11 2007
its the way they look in your eyesthe way their smile is so bright the way they put their arms around u an say i love u,without a dought in your mind u feel its all true they make u feel like a butterfly all new and a angel in the high sky they have the ability to take u to a wonderful place u never been and a beatiful place u dont want to leave they tell u words that are unheard words u want to hear words u dont fear just words that bring them near u want to hold back but then again u dont u let them take u away to a place they want to be tthen they spit u out and tell u to-leave- so much 4 u loving me_always kyra

Tues June 11 2007
they give in to guys because of what u said to fill the father s place but also when their in love they will do anything to get more of it and if giving the guy sex when he wants it works then i think theyll do just that. - Laura

Tues June 11 2007
when you have a daddy you really care about everything he says if he says your out fit looks too short you whine. but then usually change it because you know he cares. when you don't have a dad girls really need a guy to care about what there wearing to pay them compliements they're really insecure - Olivia

Tues June 11 2007
hi dawson i listen to your show every sunday and i can some what relate to your callers. i love your show!!! sarina

Tues June 11 2007
Okay so teen girls that easily give into guys because of the lack of a father figure is completely true. Even though my dad has been around almost all of my life we are not close at all. When I am choosing a guy they are usually older then me and abuse drugs or alcohol. I am used to my dad doing that since i was young and i thought it was normal to do. I also give into sex very easy because i want a guys attention. So far in my life doing these things has not turned out well. I have been raped, pregnant, addicted to drugs, and chose to drop out of school just to be with a guy. I think that if me and my dad had a better relationship i would have been able to choose the guys that i hook up with better then i do now! - Gabby

Tues June 11 2007
i think some girls give in to guys because they make them feel like they're in love and they can't be without them. - Yvette

Tues June 11 2007
Why do girls give into guys? Maybe because they feel like they are "loved" for once, and thinks that the guy will actually love her. She might also think that she is ready to start a family maybe because her family was broken and wants to know what a real family feels like. All of this most likely comes from the inner pain that they feel inside and don't know how else to express it except by having sex with her boyfriend. - Vin

Tues June 11 2007
I believe fathers are just as important as mothers and our system of justice needs to recognize that. Two things - a daughter needs a father, a man who they can trust and loves them unconditional, to tell them they are beautiful and they are smart; a young woman must have confidence. Confidence in themselves to say that I deserve better and I am gonna wait until that man enters my life. They can only get that from a father. It is so true. - Dana

Tues June 11 2007
i want to thak you dawson.i'm crying right now for what has happened to me. i once had an irritated heart but now i don't have it anymore. - Alice

Tues June 11 2007
well i agree with you. but i dont get much attention from my dad and he also abuses me but i dont know why but i dont fall for guys as easy. i think its because m afraid he might turn out to be like my dad. i dont know what to do. - Sara

Tues June 11 2007
I am so grateful that you did this week's session on father hunger. This sunday was the first time that I listened to your show and your discussion on this really hit home. My dad died when I was 11 and ever since then it seems like I always need attention from a guy. Even if they keep hurting me over and over I still want them because I always think that it's better than no attention or being alone. I've thought about it a lot but I never could figure out why until I heard your show. It dawned on me that the reason I get so depressed when I don't get attention from a guy is because it makes me feel abandoned again and alone like how I felt when my dad died. So when I get attention from guys it fills the hole and makes me feel special like a girl does when her dad does special things for her. I think everytime a girl doesn't have a father in her life they will always look for a man to fill that hole. Thanks so much for discussing this subject and for your time! - Mary

Mon June 10 2007
i love your show and i love what you do for all these young young adults keep on doing what your doing god bless you ! - Rachel

Mon June 10 2007
i havent had a fater in forever since i was 3 and 4-10 i heard a girl saying she had my same problem. and it brought up so many emotions and well i love that you do this and i'm so happy that their are people out their that have my same problems and i love that ur helping them helping me - Kala

Mon June 10 2007
i think girls give into guys for the feeling of feeling better of there self. Girls like when guys pay attention to them!! - Miranda

Mon June 10 2007
I believe that girls give into guys because they just want to feel loved. It makes a girl feel wanted, even if they guys intentions are completely different. It’s like a craving, a craving to feel cared for and wanted. The desire may be so strong that a girl could be blind to the fact that the guy might just be using her and she becomes so vulnerable that it doesn’t matter where she receives the intimacy. People used to call me a slut bc I would give into guys, but it just made me feel like somebody truly cared for me, it made me feel wanted. I don’t think it has anything to do with fathers, maybe a little but that can’t be the sole reason. I have a pretty good relationship with my dad and ive never considered him the reason why I would be with guys. I truly think it’s a self-esteem issue. Personally I have depression and I hate myself sometimes, being with a guy used to make me feel like I was worth something. - Ashly

Mon June 10 2007
i agree with alot of what has already been said but i have a few things too add in my opinion. i agree that the father hads a major impact in the social impact of a young lady but its not just the fathers that can do this. mothers and brothers and sisters or even friends can have this major impact on a young lady aswell. what i mean by this is that say a young lady has her parents while growing up and has those voids filled but they are bad relatioinships and can like you said cause them to look for more attention and the way they get it is from some guy that sees that shes weak (im a guy and i can tell u its pretty easy to tell when a girl is weak emotionaly). that being said there are young guys out there looking to take advantage of that. there is then the friends that say if she has friends that are always there for her or atleast talk to she knows the wants and needs of a young teenage girl and then can make the right desisions, but if she is lonly and has no friends or gets made fun of. that would draw her to become as people say a slut and just go try and basicly live each day just to please some guys for attention and that is the negative attention that is wanted and causes a bad relationship. i dont think i covered every thing im not sure but if u think i left something out or u wana know more about something i said then just ask - Paul

Mon June 10 2007
They say that you hurt the ones you love most. Well then in that case I guess my dad loves me to death! - Cali

Mon June 10 2007
Hey- I just wanted to say that you and your show have opened up my eyes to so many things that I had never realized before. For instance, I am blessed to be living with both parents. I used to look down upon those who have turned to promiscuity, but now I see why, and its because of a terrible hurt and an unfufilling void inside. I was blind to this reality but now I can see and will no longer be ignorant, but sympathetic. Thank you for showing me the way. -Maria Jose

Mon June 10 2007
hey i just want to say that your show has touched me and has helped me and my friends get through those tough times. i think what your doing is great and i think that you really do know How to Save a Life. - Ashly

Mon June 10 2007
In my eyes girls give in to guys because they didn't have that male figure in their life. They search for meaning and acceptance from other males because they never experienced at home. They search for male companionship wether it's sex or just dating. When teenage girls fell meaningless of unimportant they would go to their fathers for comfort, but girls who lacked that fatherly image now turn to other men and sex to fill that hole, that should have been filled by their fathers. - Nicole

Mon June 10 2007
I think gurls give in to guys for many reasons one they didn't have enough attention when they were younger and they want it now second maybe they want pplz to think they're kl so they have sex for no reason third is maybe they are really angry with their parents and want to piss them off - Serena

Mon June 10 2007
i think that the reason girls give into guys because the boys suduce them to think that the boy wont love them if they dont have sex with them so the girls give in because they think that they are in love with them! - Chelsea

Mon June 10 2007
First of all, I heard your show last night for the first time and I think it is awesome that you are helping teenagers and young adults like me with their problems by giving them advices and helping them get out of their problems/situations. I can relate with some of their situations that were presented on the show because I myself suffer from depresion and suicidal thoughts all my life, but now I am trying to recuperate of all the things that has happen to me but sometimes I fall into depresion and I dont know what to do, I just enclose myself in my room and never get out! My room is like my hide out and I cry for a great time and I feel better but the problems/situations are still there. I live in Puerto Rico and now I am going to listen to your show every sunday night because it really helped me reflect on my life when I listened to other peoples' situations. Thank you for having helpful blogs, I am going to keep reading the blogs you put here always because I think they help a lot to reflect on life. It has been one month that I haven't attempted against my life and I think that is an accomplishment for me and I hope I can leave those horrible thoughts about suicide forever, as well as depresion, but first I have to forget the past and just move on but I dont know how to and that makes me desperate because I dont know what to do. I hope I can forget my situations soon so that I can live a normal life without depresion!~ Gladys!

Mon June 10 2007
Hi there Dawson. Girls get into guys when one girl usually says that she has had sex and she thought it was good. The girls get hungry for it because they don't want to be the only one that hasn't had it. Once one girl does it, its a chain reaction. - Patrick

Mon June 10 2007
Dawson I love the show. Keep doing what your doing.I listen every sunday on 93.3flz in Tampa, Fl. I love it. I think every female should have a bond between herself and her dad. But when that bond is gone the first guy that comes into your life is the one your going to try and make fill that void. Females need to know that their self worth does'nt depend on a man. Not having a father hurts and I lived with mine for 20years but he was never there for me. I looked to find him in the guys I met. Just know that you will never be able to replace fatherly love with a sex from a guy or anything else from a guy. He can't be your dad no matter how hard you try. Don't let not having love from anyone one specific person define who you are and what you become. It is possible to not have that fatherly love and find love based on true love not a paternal love. - Love

Mon June 10 2007
I believe that they should pray....maybe find someone that's older and a male to fill the void- like a neighbor or ur best friend's father- anyone to help u learn the smart (and safe) way. - Abby

Mon June 10 2007
In my eyes the main reason why teenage girls give into having sex is because they either don't have a good relationship with thier father, they don't get enough attention at home, or the fact that they think its the cool thing to do. The thing is that you can't always blame it on the father. What about the girls who live with only the father and the mother is gone? They act out sexually too. Or like in my case? I have both a monther and a father figure around if i needed them. Sure my mom was always on business trips and my dad worked late, but if i needed them they would find a way to get to me. Also i was a virgin until 15. After i was in the psychiatric unit of Saint Marys for attempt at suicide I felt unloved and unoticed like everything never happened. Things like this is what sets alot of people off and makes them act out. Either sexually, drug related, or self-mutilation. All I'm trying to get at is that you can always find a way to blame problems on somebody and it my seem like thats the case but its not. I was very close to my father yet i still acted out. Honestly, after i ended up getting pregnant is when me and my father's relationship started to fade. - Kristy

Mon June 10 2007
I think that your show is a good way for people to express their thoughts and their opions about their problems. I really oppreciate the things you do for so many young adults. I My self have a problem. I have thought about committing suicide because people have been blaming me for everything that happens at school and at my house. I just can't live with it any more.  - Dillon

Mon June 10 2007
well what if girls, like me are adopted and have more than one step-dad. i have a wonderul relationship with my real father yet all my step dads abused me sexually along with my grandfather. I think that i have enough of the whole sex stuff. how would that make me give into guys? because i still do. And every time i have in the past my ex-boyfriends hit me and hurt me.  - Kaylee

Mon June 10 2007
Dawson, I listen to your show every single sunday nigh when it comes on 97.1 zht in salt lake city I have never personaly called or anything but I just wanted to tell you how much respect I have for you I know you probably hear that a lot but it's true people do respect you what you do is AWESOME!!!! That is exactly what I want to do when I gradute from high school/college before I heard your show I had no idea what I wanted to do, I felt lost but after just one time of hearing your show I know exactly what I wanted to do. Thank you for all you do and giving me a direction to go in life. Thanks again!!! - Michelle

Mon June 10 2007
Yes i think that girls are looking for someone to protect them. Since they have no father around and they maybe think if they have sex with the guy then he will protect her. That could be one way the girls keep having sex with the guy,so he will keep protecting her. My family is all together and no divorces. I am very gratefull for this because without my dad i dont know what i would do. Im young and i have a great relationship with my dad there are some situations that i can talk to my dad more openly than i can with my mom. There are just different things for each parent. Even if i didnt have my dad in my life i know my family would be here for me and god because i would know i would have someone that i know that loves me always by my side telling me it would be ok. And last night around 11 i thought i needed something to pick me up so i turned my stereo to 88.5 and i was listening and i was thinking to myself i have it better off than alot of people that talk on your show and i pray for all of those people that are going through alot of tough things. - Julianne

Mon June 10 2007
i love listening 2 your show!One night i was listening to tha radio and it came on and i didnt kno what it was but right away it got my atttion.Then tha next day i told my mom about it and tha troubles that tha ppl have in there life and every night i tryed to find it cuz i didnt remember what station it was on and a week ago i found it and now every sunday i stay up and listen to it!! i love it!! thank 4 tha help <333 -Samantha

Mon June 10 2007
Dear Dawson My name is Laura Martinez i listen to ur show every sunday on 97.5 waco and i wanted to tell you that i love ur show.I was looking at ur blog about father hunger and its true what some people say.You see my dad seperated from my mom when i was 15 but before that at age 14 i got raped.Instead of my dad being there he left and then to show his love he would give us cigaretts and drink beer or alcohol.It help ease my pain of what happend to me but it felt like i was not his real daughter.My dad loved my sister and brother more than me so at age 17 i went to Texas for my birthday came back well got the news my mom and dad got a devorce.I started to cut my arms and then my mom thought it would be better for us to move with my sister in Austin tx.Here i meet my boyfriend fermin and since i didn't have a father and really wanted attencion i started to go out with him.He gave me more attention that i needed that he would hit me beat me up but i still love him.I finally left him in dec 2006 and i stiil love him but the pain was too much.So if u ask me y girls give into guys to feel love that there father never gave them.I'm 20 right now and still need my dad but he's in prison so for love i turn to guys even if its a one night but not any more i have a puppy that i show all my love and affection to her.thanks for listeining love always Laura

Mon June 10 2007
I agree with the bit about father hunger! I have often found myself in the same situation. Lucky for me, my hunger has never gotten severe or turned sexual, but I do blame it on bad relationships a lot. I feel like I always have to be with a man to feel complete. Iam in a relationship right now and I don't want this one to fail. Even though we have only been together a short time I still feel it and I know that I've had issues with previous one's and I don't want that to happen this time. But it does affect at different degrees. By the way I absolutely love you show, I listen to as much as I can every Sunday night on 106.1. -Tori

Mon June 10 2007
At times, girls feel like they've been let down by their fathers, even if they have great dads. Sometimes, a girl can be blind to how great her dad is, just by not being willing to relate to her dad. We are constantly being given messages that dad's are dumb and don't need to be taken seriously. This is so wrong! It is so easy to be blinded to the father that our dads are trying to be to us, so we turn away from him without thinking of the serious consequences that will appear in our future relationships. - Stephanie

Mon June 10 2007
Hi Dawson I love your show I think it's so great that you do what you do for teens and young adults, I listen to your show every sunday...I'm not sure if this totally fits into father hunger, but for a little over a year I've wanted to have sex get pregnant and have a baby, and the reason I wanted that is because I felt lonley and I didn't really ever think about being loved by the guy, I just thought that, the baby would love me and that I could love the baby, i'm not sure if it's really anything you can use or anything but I just thought i would tell you, because sometimes you just have to tell someone your story, and i've always wanted to call in and talk to you but I'm too worried that someone would know who I was and judge me, but thank you for everything - Lauren

Mon June 10 2007
hey dawson it me jesse i love r show

Mon June 10 2007
I really do like your show. I heard it for the first time last night and I think that it's a wonderful idea. Anyway, if someone is suffering from fother hunger, the first thing they should do is realize it themselves. They can call you or have anybody tell them the problem they have but they won't recognize it until they see it for themselves. - Charles

Mon June 10 2007
I agree that women who have poor or no relationship with their fathers grow up needing to fill the void. These girls usually will fill that void with anyone who will give them "love" or affection, what these girls do not know is that the love that these men are giving them is false and not in anyway genuine. I truly stand firm on this theory because I am the result of a wonderful relationship with my father. My father and I have always had a great relationship. Even though he was far away from me growing up, he called me and my siblings every week to check up and talk to us, then he helped us financially or emotionally whenever we were in need. He made sure that the little time we did share was time well spent by hanging out with us; taking us to the park, or teaching us to ride a bike, or whatever. Although me and my younger sister have a great relationship with our father, our older sister does not have that kind of relationship with him. She was always shutting him out. Now the older sister is in and out of bad relationships all the time, and doing anything and everything under the sun to get guys to notice her, going as far as using drugs with the last boyfriend she had. Every relationship she was ever in was weird and sick, she mothered her boyfriends and enabled them to the point of turning them into mindless freaks that she could control. My younger sister and I are living quite stable lives, being single and casually dating and having a good time, with our friends. My younger and sister and I are abstaining from sex until marriage and the oldest lost her virginity at a young age. I think that my family would be the perfect example to prove this hypothesis true. - Ren

Mon June 10 2007
Most Girls just want to find the love that there father never gave them. They would do ANYTHINGG just to find that sorta love. Many Girls suffer from the loss of there father and just try and find that one guy to fill in the gaps. - Brittney

Mon June 10 2007
girls are always giving themselves away because of the fact they know they have no father and hes not coming back. and girls have a hole in their heart where their father left it and they think sex is going to fill that hole and when it doesnt the first time they do it again and again hoping one guy will fill it. - Rebekah

Mon June 10 2007
I just wabt to say i think what u r doing is great, it has really helped me because some of the situations on the radio i have gone through, so thanks - Samantha

Mon June 10 2007
Wow. Nice blog! it teaches me alot! By the way, you show rocks! - Zoey

Mon June 10 2007
Well I go through the same thing which is not very much of a big deal because its not something huge but its something that i have kinda kept inside of me for quit sometime,I will get to that in a while but what i wanted to do is answer the question above..Someone who is suffering from father hunger should have a talk with thier father about thier feelings, however, sometimes some father's dont even want to take the time to listen to there child who is dieing inside of pain, the next thing to do is to somehow show him that u dont need him and show him what he has done wrong to u,i cant guarentee that it will work but most of the time it does and he will probably take the time to think about all this and will wanna retry the father daughter or son relationship..sometimes it might be to late because of the fact that there are some pretty depressed people out there that will do anything for attention if u know what iam talking about but that is NOT the right way to go about believe me its not.well i hope that i have answered the question to my full potential..Now to get to my story about my father daughter relationship.. Ever since my mother and father split up which was about 9 years ago somehow me and my father dont have the same connection as it should be, sure i still talk to him and laugh with him at times but also at times we have arguments about certain things that pertain to my problem.. you see i want to be able to spend father daughter time with him at times but it never happens because if he comes and visits me its only for a short while and BAM! hes gone, also he has a girl friend which most of his time is spent with her and if not he is at work. I hope iam making my point here.. What I basically want is for him to be able to fully support me with things which he doesnt and to have a alot of father daughter times but i see that i dont have the power for him to see my side, he only says what he wants to say and doesnt take the time to hear me out :( thats why most of the time iam sad and want to be loved by a boy who will care for me for who iam. I have never been in a relationship so i wouldnt know what that would be like.I think iam done with what i have to say..may god bless and take care - Sandra

Mon June 10 2007
you are so right. i have a good relationship with my dad but i have had a few offers i've never did it yet and i think about saying yes but i don't know where we're going to do it at and if it will hurt - Nana

Mon June 10 2007
I do agree about father hunger. My dad passed away before I was born.I have had boyfriends,a lot,but I will not give into anyone. If you are suffering from Father Hunger ask yoour mom to have a Girl's Day Out or become closer to her to fill the spot that you need a father!Eventually you will not need a dad! I am 13 and I do not need a Dad to live. p.s Thanks Dawson for being such a great inspiration to help get through problems!!! - A.J.

Mon June 10 2007
i think that girls give in to guys because most of the time they dont feel loved. and girls love to feel loved. and when a guy tells her that he loves her she feels that feeling of love. and if they have sex she feels like he really REALLY loves her. - Chelsea

Mon June 10 2007
I think that girls give into their father because they never had a man figure in their life, so they look for anyone who talks them into tem being the man in their life. THANKYOU SOOO MUCH DAWSON! YOU AND YOUR CREW HAVE HELPED SO MANY PEOPLE INCLUDING ME, AND I LOVE BEING ABLE TO CALL AND GET HELP WITH MY PROBLEM. I LOVE YOU DAWSON! I do have a problem that most girls have trouble with and i think it could be a main topic of a show of yours. its, "Why girls compete with other girls over guys!" thanks dawson. i'll be listening next sunday!!!!!! <3 - Amanda

Mon June 10 2007
I believe that girls give into guys when they feel lonely and haven't had a male figure in their life to show them what a real man is. It's easy to say no, but it's not easy to do "no." - Alexander

Mon June 10 2007
I must say this makes perfect sense. I'm 18 and, while I've never given into a guy, think there's a chance that in a situation where I could, I'm not sure I'd resist so much. I think that comes more from just wanting male attention though. When I was younger, I always told myself that guys wanted to be in relationships and be in love blehblehbleh as much as we (girls) do, but when I realized that that's not the way most guys think, I guess I somewhat gave up hoping for a guy like that. Plus, my dad's always been I guess not the best parent. I've seen him get arrested and what not. And he's been teaching me to drive lately, and everytime I make a mistake, he yells at me for it for a long time, then goes on to tell everyone how much of a horrible driver I am, and it makes me finding myself wishing there was a guy in my life who would be understanding with me every once in a while and realize that there's no way I'm going to be perfect. I don't know if what I just said makes sense, but that's my insight. =] - Dawn

Mon June 10 2007
Yes I agree with dawson... Iam only 14 but I lost my dad when I was six and now im 14 and im with a 17 year old.. and we have had sex I told Him the reason i think i did it was because he has been the only "MAN" to really come into my life and love me since i lost my dad so i thought it would be ok. And it wasnt but me and him are ok we have been together for a little over a year and i love him and i know and he knows I made a mistake doing that but he does love me but I know of plenty of girls that have done the same...he is right it is father hunger and it can only be helped by love and god. - Megan

Mon June 10 2007
find a mentor...an older man who they think would have been they're perfect father figure...if they can relate to that man, the next step is to step up and talk to they're real father, at least then they have had a figure there to practice on! - Carmon

Mon June 10 2007
i agree with this in some cases. my father and i got along okay when i was little, but when i was 13 we stopped all of a sudden. last year, i dated a guy that had the personality and ideas of my father. he tried several times to get me to give in, and things kept happening that prevented it, and now i dont give in to guys. i value the love of a guy, knowing that sex is something for later in life way down the road. where im from im the only virgin among most of my friends, they tease me a little, but id rather be teased a little, than give in to a guy PS: i love the show - Jessica

Mon June 10 2007
i was listening to your show tonight and i got very close to calling in and telling my story, but i was driving. i completely agree with everything above. i am a living example and a lot of guys don't see this. my ex boyfriend for example.. i'm pregnant with his child right now and he broke up with me and broke my heart completely. i am completely in love with him and i feel so broken and empty without him. part of the reason he broke up with me is because i was very attached and dependent upon him. but i didn't really know any better. my father hasn't been around much since i was 3 and i didn't know how to make a man happy and i didn't want to lose him, especially because i was pregnant with his child at 18. i graduated high school though and im doing ok but he's hurt me so terribly bad. i have a relationship with God and sometimes i'm scared that my sins ruined that. my stress and depression has gotten so bad because of this and the way my ex has treated me and other things that i'm not sure where to turn or what to do next. the only thing keeping me from thinking about suicide is my child. my ex tells me that i'm doing this all to myself and i don't have to be stressed and depressed but i don't know how not to be.. i think i have a lot of good reasons to be whether i like it or not. overall, i think what caused me to have sex in the first place, and be so attached to him, and to other guys in the past, is the fact that my father hasn't been around. thank you so much for your show, maybe next time i'll be able to call him and share my story.  - Meagan

Mon June 10 2007
I've had very poor relationships with both of my parents. In my early teen's I found myself trying to fill the void from the lack of relationship with my parents with boyfriends. I let them cheat, use and abuse me. I didn't do anything because I didn't feel like I deserved it. So when I read about the father hunger I can understand it better, because I was trying to feel loved by a guy. And now days when parents are getting younger and younger and have less time for parenting, I can understand why so many young girls are looking for love in the wrong place. - Rachael

Mon June 10 2007
Dear Dawson, I must start by saying your show is excellent for those in need. It is always easier for one to talk to a third party who has no bias opinions to their situation. In the perspective of this particular subject you are very correct. This is a subject for both sexes, although many males fall towards violent behavior, drugs, and alcohol other than sexual activity. It is a human instinct to have attention, even those who are more independent type people. There was a great sermon given on the three R’s. Rules-Relationship=Rebellion. If there are rules from parents, but no relationship with a child (under18) they are more likely to rebel. Again in this particular subject, young females who do not have a father figure fall towards a male figure that will provide the attention that is absent. This is a great subject and I respect you for discussing it. Many young females feel that they have lost control of their lives and have "issues," but truly we have to step back and look at social and environmental factors that lead to the probelm. I enjoy your show, keep up the great work! - Tiffany

Mon June 10 2007
i have also had a broken relationship with my father...he basically did anything that he wanted to do to me when i was little and lived with him...i am so thankful that i found a loving foster mom that adopted me and loved me even when i quit loving myself!!! <3 U MOM!!! i think that another reason that girls give into guys is because of all their self esteem issues...teenage girls today think that you have to be beautiful and popular to be loved so when a guy "loves" them they will do anything to keep the guy in their life even if he is a player...i also used to think like that and i was misused and abused for over a year... i used to drink have sex cut basically anything to deal with all the pain that guys brought out in me...but i am starting to realize that i am worth something! :) ps...sorry this is so long!!:S - Alia

Mon June 10 2007
I dont think this is true at all. My father left when i was 5 and i believe it only made me stronger. Im very independent and love to get things done for myself. My point is that my dad leaving only made me a stonger person and i think thats true in alot of girls cases aswell. - Kiki

Mon June 10 2007
Hey Dawson, my father left my mother 4 years ago,for an older women. I just started to listen to your show today, and I thought it was so incredible and powerful.When I started to read your blog, a lot of feeling started to come back. I don't want to end up like that (using sex to fill a void). I'm only 14! But to answer your question,find other things to fill the void....like a sport that you're passionate about, or drawing(i do both,and it helps A lot!)  - Stephanie

Mon June 10 2007
For my whole life my father has always been a severe alcoholic, he won't admit he has a problem and nothing is ever his fault he blames everything mostly on my mom. Even though my parents are still together I don't have the relationship with him I wish I did. We live in the same house, but it's like he barely knows who I am. I'm 19 yrs old and have had a hard time with guys because I wanted the deeper love. I gave my virginity up at 16 to a guy almost 4 yrs older than me who still thinks it was some trophy. One guy also told me months after we broke up that he wouldn't want anything to do with me or want a friendship unless I gave him sex whenever he wanted. I couldn't let myself stoop to that. I had trouble feeling so dirty and empty after having sex with a guy and no one to run to about it. My mom had her first child @ 15 but it's honestly like I can't go to either parent because I only get made to feel bad, guilty or down right stupid for what I have done say or feel. I know how a father should be rather than what I have, which is a man that threatens to hit me and my mom and leave us all the time. My mother also attempted suicide a few weeks ago and he had the nerve to say it was my fault in front of the police officer in the e.r. I told him this was because of him not me and his reply was 'I know, that's that I'm saying'. His stroke last year has only made his drinking and temper worse. Rather than hoping something would change, I've really accepted this as reality and that it won't change. -Magan

Sun June 10 2007
Dear Dawson- my sister and I have been adopted because of our parent's not being capeable because of drugs and involvment and we are adopted by our grandparents.Our mother has sucsefully matured and living her life with us still having a relationship, however my father pop's in and out of our live's hurting my sister repedidly emotionly.My sister hurt's guy's that care about her and needingly it seems as ifa nesecity for her to have attention from a guy.My grandparent's quote all the time about how "boy crazy" we are.It's kinda like a crave my sister has for a guy just to show affection to her becuuse she has had it left out she can't have a heathy relationship with a boyfriend without it seems getting hurt for a very harmless it seems reason, my sister can't even get close to our grandfather.The apsent's of our father has left what is seems a whole that we are left to fill ourself, and we try the best we can with what we get and every opertunitie to do it with cause it is a constant feeling we have.He left us with the shovel and no direction to fill a huge hole it seems and using a guy over and over and hurting them by tossing them and going for another one differnt trying to see as if maybe in a puzzel the piece will fit in perfect and sometimes you get a piece that is alost right but the edge is differnet and the only piece that fit's is the father. Without him we keep searching trying tofind the piece without realizing the piece is hidden. - Rheagan

Sun June 10 2007
why girls give into guys and why do they thik is love when it isn't? well because they probably dont think they have love at home and so they fall for guys and think it is loved cause they want to be loved and they want someone to care for them, but really most guys dont care about girls and how they feel. - Laini

Sun June 10 2007
i agree with the fact that women give into guys because of the impact on their life makes a huge diference.... i personally try my hardest to find friends like that and help them as much as i can they just cant let that affect themtey must find something to fill that "hole" in their hearts/lives ..... sex is not going to fix it... most of the time it just makes their life worse.... i hope any woman who has lost a father to either just a runner or death doesnt go to sex to find fullness talk to dawson or find a really close friend trust me its hard.... but do it HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT EVERYONE! - Grayson

Sun June 10 2007
What i think is the girl wants to feel loved and if she doesnt get love from her mom or dad she is goin to find it some where else. whitch is not always a good thing. I have this friend who does not have that best mom and dad and is always falling for guys , giveing them what they want like sex but with in a week they dump her. so now i hear guys talkin about her saying how easy she is and how they want to be her boyfriend b/c they can have sex. then when they dump her she feels bad and needs someone to talk to so she finds a new guy. its a never ending cycle and i dont know what to tell her. Stephanie

Sun June 10 2007
I think the best thing someone suffering from Father Hunger could do is to first accept themselves, and accept that they deserve honest love from an honest man, to not let themselves get used. They need to see that no matter how much fatherly love they were denied growing up, giving in to a man will NOT replace it. - Katie

Sun June 10 2007
Now, i'm not a doctor or anything. I'm just a guy who has been a few things and has been able learn from some of them. I think that someone who is suffing from father hunger really needs to realize that they are in a vicious cycle. The cycle finding someone, being used by them, and eventually feeling worse and weaker about themselves. So if they realize what's going on ASAP, they can start on the raod to healing internally. Unfortunately, most people who are in "the cycle" stay in that cycle, because that chaos becomes their "norm," and they never get to learn what is really good from them and their lives. - Sharif

Sun June 10 2007
A lady who goes to schools and talks about abstinence holds up two hearts cut out of foil then she crumples them together. she makes everyone laugh by saying 'I bet you've never seen foil having sex!' After she takes them a part she tries to make them look smooth again but she can't. It means that even if we don't think it does, sex does something to crumple our heart. We need to protect our heart as much as possible. It is easy to give in and say 'yes' but we have to prepare ahead of the time so we can say 'no.' If you just wait until the moment you easily cave in. My boyfriend pressured me so much and I gave in - I wish I hadn't and I won't again. Younglife is a good place, I didn' think I'd like the people there but they really care about you. Church too.  - Juli

Sun June 10 2007
dawson you are completly right...i dont have the best relationship with my father so everytime a guy tells me im ugly fat or anything like that i feel that its true because i dont have a father who will listen to what i have say and tell me im pretty and that any guy who says differently doesnt really know the person you are so i try to go out and find that from a man but i realize that men dont care about you they just want sex and if the girl has been hurt it is easier to get so they take the ones that are hurt and tell them all this stuff and make them think they care just to get in their pants then when they get pegnant the guy backs out or wants the girl to get an abortion the girl is left feeling the way she did before she thought the guy cared and that is useless and unwanted god bless, ariana

Sun June 10 2007
Hey there Mr. Dawson! Well my father really hasn't been there for me. My parents divorced when I was about 4 and my brother about 2. Thats when I found out my mom was a lesbian. I was a little girl so I really didn't understand it. But now I'm 16 about to be 17 in a month and I totally understand everything about what it is. But most kids my age or anyone don't understand its the same thing as being married. Well my Dad got re-married. I haven't seen him in almost 3 years. Me and my brother hate him because he got re-married. He hate him because he has changed. He doesn't care what we say and treats us like we are still a little baby. Now my mom has been in and out of relationships. It hurts me to see her hurt everytime. Because then she comes crying to me. Well about a year and a half ago I met this great guy. It was going so great. But we broke up 3 times. The 3rd time was about 2 days ago. We are arn't going out now and I still have sex with him. I feel like heis using me, but he says he isn't. I have been really depressed and I have had thoughts of killing myself. I live with my mom and brother. My neibors spy on my and my brother every minute of every day!! I can't stand my mom. I think this one guy I got with was an awsome guy. Well I was wrong. He never cheated on me. But he hurt me mentally. Everytime I would want to talk he wasn't there for me. But when he needed something I was always there. And yet I kept putting up with him. Now I feel ALONE! He was the first guy I ever had sex with. I don't know if I should stop doing stuff with him or I really don't know what to do. I can't wait till I'm out of high school so I can get away from my mom. But I just wanted to say thanks for letting me write about all this! Thanks! -Allison

Sun June 10 2007
Dawson, The main reason why I felt the need to give up my virginity was for revenge. Yes, I wanted to feel loved, and yes, I didn't have a father who openly spoke about sex, but I actually gave into my first sexual partner out of revenge. If only there was another way to vent it at the time instead of doing something so careless... - gaycolor

Sun June 10 2007
I think they can find love within their boyfriends without sex. They need to get help from a specialist and i think they need to know because i think when they are getting close to their boyfriends they don't know the reason they think they are in love and they really aren't. - Darryan

Sun June 10 2007
Your show rox sox and i love u soooo much! but to the blog, i agree completely with what you said, i am suffering from father hunger and i really wanted to get ahold of u. thank you for being there for all of us, thanx. - Megan

Sun June 10 2007
I totally agree with this. My dad left when I was really little and has really just never had a part in my life. He's tried but he screws it up. And I'll admit I have been one of those girls that gave in. Alcohol was always involved.. I would go out and party with my friends at the bar and just not really care. I was always afraid of commitment. I thought it would make me feel better and I did just feel worse. And in the last year I found a great guy who really cared about me but I was just afraid to commit to him. So I broke it off and he just really never understood why it happened. But anyways I do feel for the girls that give in to try to fill the void. IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!! You will not feel any better. - Jessie

Sun June 10 2007
I'm 14 years old and i'm going through this problem now! My first boyfriend I loved and he couldn't handle me with my problems. My second boyfriend I loved and he used me to get to my best friend!! I now have a different boyfriend and I have no idea what to do!! I don't want to fall for the tricks and want to see a real relationship but my dad emontional abuses me!! I think I need help! - Emily

Sun June 10 2007
also,i have read that there is a strong link between people who have been abused early in life and people who are sexually active at a young age. it is also important for people to work through the self esteem issues that are a definite part of this equation, and a lot of that involves working through the grief process of realizing that the people we expected or thought were helping us were really hurtful, and that hurting and being hurt, even if a large part of your life at times, doesn't have to stay a large part of your life. unfortuntately, disrespect for girls/women has been a larger part of cultures and religions throughout the world, including here, than teaching respect for/toward women. changes that cultural standard for the better would go a long way. while some strides have been made,domestic violence is still quite high. rape and other forms of abuse are still quite high and quite underreported. - Tina

Sun June 10 2007
I am 14 yrs old and until I was 8 yrs old I lived with an abusive step-dad and an alcoholic mother. My step-dad beat me everyday for no reason and when I tried to tell my mom she wouldn't believe me. On my 8th birthday my mom said she was going to the bar to get more beer and she never came back. We searched for weeks looking for her. She called like a month later and said she was in california. I feel like it is my fault she left, I was so bad, I burdened her with my step-dad beating me when i knew she had alot of stress in her life. But now I dont know how to trust people. I constantly worry if i get close will they just break my heart like my mother. I am in a relationship and I find my self wondering if he is cheating on me and if he's gonna leave me. I push everybody away so when they leave it won't hurt as much. I need help trusting people. - Nicole

Sun June 10 2007
Dawson I am a manager at a movie theatre and I and deal with trouble teens all the time.Just wanted you to know that I lisen to your show every sunday on 94.9 and I think you are doing a very good thing for all the people you talk to and you help me out by given me the answers some there problems. so keep up the good work. - Matthew

Sun June 10 2007
Dawson, I disagree with your statement that girls without father figures search for one.  I'm a 19 year old female college student in Franklin, TN. I've always been taken care of financially, for which I'm very greatful. I grew up in a Christian home, and have grown up to be a strong Christian.  The financial care was where it ended when I was growing up. My dad was a great provider, but failed as a parent. I was horribly physically abused as a child. I have no feeling in my top lip form where my dad busted it open when I was ten or eleven. He's dragged me up the stairs by my arm. He's kicked my leggs. He's abused me verbally as well, calling me fat, useless, and a horrible child.  My dad used to be the best dad in the world, but when we moved to Frankin when I was six, he started taking pills prescribed to him by his doctor for anxiety. The problem with the pills was that the dosage was so low that he was always in withdrawel from them.  My dad was always on edge, and any insubordinatoin on my part resulted in a beating. My mom, who for the last five years since her mother's death has been an alcoholic unwilling to seek help, denied it every time I saught help as a child, and that didn't help my self worth much.  Now, at 19, I'm just working it all out.   My dad has been off the pills for seven years, and hasn't hit me in almost five years, but that doesn't mean we don't butt heads constantly.  To top off my issues with men, I was raped during my first semester at college, after which I dropped out for the remaining of the semester and returned to a new school this past January, where I study art.   I disagree becuase I'm gay. Yes. I am scared of men. But I've been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for almost a year now. My parents know I'm gay, and while it was rocky at first with my dad, they love my girlfriend as much as they do me. I'm just confused I guess. I, like any gay person, wouldn't wish homosexuality on my worst enemy. But I am in love with my girlfriend. A s an Episcopalian, it's more accepted in my church. And sometimes, I feel like I'm really gay, but sometimes I feel like it's because of my dad. Yeah, I grew up a tomboy, and lots of lesbians grew up tomboys, but I don't know. Just wanted to share. - Alex

Sun June 10 2007
i am not close to my father at all. i absolutely hate him. i haven't given into anyone because of it. but because of events that happened to me this year, i have gotten the chance to get closer to my band director at school. he has helped me so much this year. he is like a dad to me. - Laura

Sun June 10 2007
I think your just amazing..i love every thing u do for people that need advice and comfort and i listen to ur talk show every Sunday nite...and i love to listen to it b/c it reminds me to love my life and realize that i really don't have it as bad as other people who have been sexually assulted or abused or with out a father. my best friend goes throu this..she dosen't get the attention she needs from her dad soo she has a different "boyfriend" every other week pretty much. i don't know wat to do to help her... - Krista

Sun June 10 2007
I wanted to give my answer to your blog. You want to know why girls "give in to sex"... I have a great relationship with my father but I've also always been a very physical person. I crave touch and the closeness of being hugged. I also love to cuddle. I used to use sex as a tool to get that touch and closeness. I am now at a place in life where I want to find "the one" and I want to get married and have a family and kids. I have learned that I don't need the act of sex to enjoy life but because of my past promiscuity I'm afraid to allow myself to fall in love with someone and always keep up a wall to guard my heart. I think that if I learned earlier I don't NEED sex to feel love I wouldn't be so scared now. As I get over these feelings, I'm starting to love my boyfriend but I can't bring myself to break that wall that keeps me from what I want. I would hate to see young women struggle the way I am because sex doesn't equal love. The sex is better when it happens out of love. I wish I learned it sooner. - Arynn

Sun June 10 2007
i think the only reason why girls give into guys is because they really feel lonley or "brokenhearted" inside and just need someone to be with to let all their feelings out.it could be bacause they dont have a dad but it could also be because they just got over a horrible breakup and are trying to get back at the person they brke up with..-darian

Sun June 10 2007
I can totally understand where they're coming from. I never really had a great relationship with my father, and that type of thing leaves a void in your heart that you constantly find yourself trying to fill. You open up to any man who says the words "I love you", you find yourself falling for any man who gives you any attention. I ended up in a relationship with a man I hated for a while because I thought that no man could ever love me, and he seemed to always want me around. Now as an adult, I can't maintain a healthy relationship purely from the fact that I don't know what a healthy relationship is. - Erin

Sun June 10 2007
It is because guy have this thing that atracts girls lets use for example X and Y the X has somthing that the Y wants and the Y has something that the X wants and together they become XY srry if it makes no sense - Nico

Sun June 10 2007
Hey Dawson, First of all I'd like to say that I listen to your show every Sunday night (almost)and think its great that you help all those teens who need hope. But now lets get back to your question. I think that some girls give in to guys is because they want to be "ready" to have sex when they get married. But thats only with some teens or girls. Others give in to guys because they aren't really living a good life with their parents and friends and feel like they need to be loved because they aren't being loved by their parents or dad or anyone else so they give in to a guy, have sex with the guy, and think they are really being loved by the guy because she doesn't get it from their parents...i hope i said this right. I'm just a 14 year old kid trying to answer your question Dawson. bye =) - Andrew

Sun June 10 2007
Dawson, As I read this blog and listened to your show I began to realize that this really is true. I always hear from guys how "most girls want a**holes not sweethearts'. Well, a huge percentage of girls don't know their father and never have, like me, or have one of many other problems with their father. I just wanted to let you know this what I've been thinking of being something that is wrong with me because I always seem to not know what to do with relationships and don't know what to do with serious relationships after so long and about a million other things with relationships. BUT, I do want to point out, it isn't only sex related, it is also just how to handle relationships and how to actually know when one is right. Thanks Dawson:] -Jessica

Sun June 10 2007
I've grown up my entire life without my father or sperm donor is better because a father isn't like him! I'm 18 now graduated and going to real estate school my mom raised me in a christian home and i don't go out and have sex, or do drugs so in all honesty it's how your raised. If my mom didn't care and raise me right i'd be out doing drugs and getting pregnant by now but i'm not like that and i want to find a good christian man to get married to and be a "FATHER" to my children unlike most of these dead beat guys out here! Just remember don't let a guy presure you into sex and you fall for it that makes you the weak person be strong and just know that your "sperm donor" is missing out on a beautiful youg lady! - Brittany

Sun June 10 2007
You just read a comment read by a girl named Kendra. I COMPLETLEY agree. My biological father left my mom when she found out she was pregnant I never knew who I resembled until my mom gave me a picture of him when I was 12. I have never met him and me makes no effort to contact me. My step father raped me when I was 3. I have had major issues in my life. I tend to feel the need to always be in a relationships, opening my heart too early because I lack that "something." I'm always told that I act immature in relationships and I tend to push them over the edge. I do not trust men and I feel the need to test them to see if they will hurt me. When a girl is hurt by a male or she lives life with an absent father figure....there is a void in her soul and she searches high and low to fill it. If it even RESEMBLES a small taste of what has been missing, she grabs it....not being logical in her actions but so emotionally consumed that filling that void is all she sees. - Amber

Sun June 10 2007
Dear Dawson, Thank you for this blog. It tells me and reminds me how much I am fulfilling this need. I have not seen my father for a while now. And ever since that I have met a few guys and all they ever want is sex,sex,sex. But I always tell them the word no even if I am a good friend of theirs I tell them no. - Paige

Sun June 10 2007
hi. i am commenting this because i think i have a father hunger. i tried calling your line but it was busy. my problem started when i was 2 years old. my parents split up i would live with my dad for a few days then my mom. i was always really close with my dad. i never liked when he was dating, one year when he had a eagles party i met his friend elsie. i had soo much fun with her i loved her like a second mom. so i didnt mind them dating. after a while they moved in together. i was excited. a couple days go by. she makes my dad get ride of the dog we had since i was born and this was when i was 7 maybe. but she made him get ride of her b.c her appertment didny allow them but she couldnt move in with my dad. then they start talking about having a child and they both know i would get upset about that and i liked being the only child with my dads blood. but she kept talking about it and it would make me cry. after awhile they move to lancaster.they get 3dogs and like 3 cats. and i was always afraid of the dark so i would sleep in the bed with my dad & elsie. but when brittany ,elsies daughter, would sleep in there they would kick me out and say theres no room. after that night i havent seen my dad he has 2 more kids maybe three. he never calls , called once or twice maybe