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Part 4 - How To Deal With Father Hunger

“When I was 11-13 my dad never even talked to me. He would tell me I looked and acted too much like my mom (who had just left him) so he wanted nothing to do with me. I went online and started getting into major trouble. Phone sex, cyber sex, webcam shows, you name it I did it…”

1. Every person who overcame Father Hunger had to first overcome denial.
   
   Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism used to reduce anxiety by denying thoughts, feelings, or facts that are consciously intolerable. No one wants to think about or have those awful feelings of being neglected, rejected, or even abandoned. So it is very easy, when it comes to Father Hunger, to pretend the hurt that comes from a broken relationship with him doesn’t really matter. The only problem is denial only works for a little while, and then the hurt comes back, and usually even stronger. There is a saying from the Bible that goes, “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!” It’s kind of like finding out you have Cancer. The doctor tells you if you don’t have an operation, you will die soon. Yes, the surgery will hurt, but at least you will live. Emotionally, healing can’t really begin until we admit the painful truth that Father Hunger is real.
   
   
2. Don’t react to Father Hunger by acting out and thereby making matters much worse.
   
   It’s easy to overreact to the kind of pain Father Hunger brings. Sometimes people who have Father Hunger lash out in rebellion. Others look for any kind of medication they can find to try to make the pain go away. But acting out to solve Father Hunger never works. I received a comment from a really honest girl named Rheagan. What she had to say stopped me in my tracks. Her father really hurt her sister and her.

   “He left us with [a] shovel and no direction [on how] to fill a huge hole. It seems [that we’re] using [guys] over and over and hurting them by tossing them [away] and going for another one different trying to see as if maybe [like] a puzzle, the piece will fit in [perfectly]. Sometimes you get a piece that is almost right, but the edge is different and the only piece that fits is the father. Without him, we keep searching trying to find [it], without realizing the piece is hidden.”

   Tossing guys away and purposely hurting them is a wrong response to Father Hunger. And as I have said all along, giving in to guys isn’t the answer either. Take a look at the comment I received from Juli.

   “A lady who goes to schools and talks about abstinence holds up two hearts cut out of foil then she crumples them together. She makes everyone laugh by saying 'I bet you've never seen foil having sex!' After she takes them a part she tries to make them look smooth again but she can't. It means that even if we don't think it does, sex does something to crumple our heart. We need to protect our heart as much as possible.”

   Then I received a comment from Cali. I was stunned by her anger.

   “They say that you hurt the ones you love most. Well then in that case I guess my dad loves me to death!”

   Trying to cover the pain by rage, sex, drugs, or any other false feel good never works. In fact, acting out can cause more hurt to ourselves than even what our fathers may have done to us. If you are acting out, you need to stop. You’re only making matters much worse. And in the end, the only one you’re hurting is yourself.

Thursday, Jun 21, 2007 - 9:00:12 AM
This blog means alot to me. I haven't been on your web site before now but I listen to you on the radio every Sunday night. It is amazing how you help teens and young adults. I am glad there is someone out there for people to talk to. When I was four or five my dad went to jail for raping my older sister. I got a letter from him the other day and I don't know if I should write him back. He has not wrote a letter to me before now, not even on my birthday or christmas. What do you think I should do? I want to get to know him but I don't know what my mom would think because she does not exactly "love" him. I don't know. Will you please e-mail me and help me out. Thanks! -Angel
- Angel

Thursday, Jun 21, 2007 - 8:59:46 AM
I was quoted in this and I know if I had someone telling me this back then things would've been a lot easier. I know the denial part is the hardest. Sometimes you dont even know you're denying it. I had to look at my behavior and realize that my dad was affecting me more than I thought. Next was stopping my lashing out. You get the easy highs from guys but that only lasts for a matter of minutes...then you're back down farther than you were before. You have to find another easy high fast before the depression-like-state comes back. It seems like something you can just stop but you know how you can make yourself "happy" and you want that happiness. The smart thing to do is find a father figure or talk to your real dad and explain how he is hurting you. True it doesn't just work over night, but in time the true high and happyness is much better than the easy high and "happyness". -Danielle
- Danielle

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 11:47:25 PM
hey wus ^ dawson hey me n mu sisterz always listen 2 urr station every sunday. me n mu girlz thnk that its really great wut urr doing 4 all the lost ones well all i wanted 2 say wuz thnx 4 helping out all of them and it really helped out me cuz of all the things that happened in mu family happend 2 other ppl in their family well c ya Dawson!!!!!!!!PCE
- shi'Anne

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 2:40:28 PM
I think girls give in to guys easaly is because they are too easaly munipulated into doing what guys want them for.Like the 14 year old girl that was raped by the dude that supposealy did her hair
- Francisco

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 1:12:04 AM
hey dawson. i always listen to your show to see if someone has the same problem as me. sometimes they do, but i feel like out of place or something. like i had my first REAL love this year. im only 15 but it was love. im a good girl, i go to church, i love my family very much, i dance competivily, and im a cheerleader at my high school. and this kid that i loved, was a year older than me. i had a major crush on him for 2 years before he even noticed me. everyone wants to be with him, so when we started going out, all the girls were kinda jealous if you know what i mean. but we started going out on January 12. he did everything for me. i did some bad stuff before i met him, and he took me to my bishop [church leader] and i repented for what i did. which was really hard. and he made my life better. my father died when i was 7. and i think i was depressed before i met this boy. and after i met this boy, i was not depressed at all. he told me he loved me about a month into our relationship. and then then 2 months later, March 14 he broke up with me. he told me it was cause he cared about me too much and that he didnt want me to end up 'pregnant' which i would NEVER do because thats way against both of our standards to have sex before marriage. but i seriously do not know how to get over this boy. i fell so hard for him. and he just left me in the dust. its been 3 months since we broke up, and i cant get over him at all. everything i do reminds me of him. i need help to get over him. he is taking over my life and im not happy anymore.. help me.
- breann

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:22:09 AM
Dawson, I happen to come across your show. and i loved it ... i have had hard times in my life and i just wish that you were there for me when i needed someone when there wasn't anyone... ok well... i'm glad that you are getting to other kids who need the help more than me! thanks for all of you help to them! you are truly a gift from God! best wishes! Lauren
- Lauren

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:21:54 AM
Hey Dawson, I listen to your show all the time and think you give really good advice and it's amazing how your helping so many teens out there who really need it. My life is good but I get this feeling inside where I'm angry and sad and it hurts so bad and I don't know what to do. I just ended school 2 days ago and I really am happy, but at the same time I'm sad because I'm moving soon and I guess it puts frustration on my parents and now it feels like they always get mad so quickly. When I'm feeling sad or having trouble in school or a problem with a boy or girl its like I can't go to them anymore. One thing that's really bothering me is that I was crushing on this boy named Willi and then later he asked me to be his girlfriend so I said yes to him but then I ended up regretting what I said yes but at the same time I felt like I really liked him. All my friends started to teased me about it because they all thought he act and looked like a girl and said you should break up with him. Even my best friends said that to me and I would think they would be there for me. I ended up listening to them and broke up with him. I know I really made a bad choice and at the same time a good choice. The good choice about it is that it doesn't put to much pressure on me. The bad choice is that I listen to there negative remarks and listen to them say things that were mean and immature and I went along with it and talked behind his back and I felt terrible about it. One thing that really made me mad was that I felt that he didn’t really like me that much because the next day or so he ended up liking another girl then another after, I guess everyone always disses him when he asked them out. Sometimes I think he’s a little desperate. I think s that he’s like a grasshopper he jumps to every girl but they always say no so he jumps to the other then another and it bothers me. I really like him because he’s sweet and took relationships serious. When I was sad or mad he always made my smile or laugh, there’s never once I didn’t do that. I really think I like him but sometimes I think I don’t. I need your help because I can’t go to anyone in my family for this and I really don’t want to live like this. One other issue is that I’m moving in 1 month and I feel scared annoyed sad and overwhelmed to start all over again and meet new people. Thanks for everything you do, god bless you, you have been gifted for helping people through everything until it is fixed ... ~love Andrea
- Andrea

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:20:14 AM
I was never too close with my father. In the Indian culture, you don't have cute "daddy-daughter" dates like most Americans get. The role of a wife or daughter is to serve her family. At any rate, I started getting closer with my dad by having him come to my sports and musical events. Also, he started coming to church not because he HAD to but because he was encouraged. Yeah, it sucks when you have to say, "oh I hate my dad." But be resilient and YOU make the effort to talk to your dad. By the way, this is definitly for girls who have a dad who hasn't abused them physically or mentally. This is for girls who have a "normal" father who is just a workaholic or doesn't want to hang out, or be a part of your life.
- Nadia

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:19:16 AM
Hey Dawson, I love your show and what you do to help people! And in response to your blog. Father hunger to me is my life! Im Father starved! My father rarely even knows im alive, even though we live in the same house. But ive learned to deal with it even though it kills me. I really really want him to love me! I just dont know what I ever did wrong to make him this way towards me. I know deep down that its my fault that he doesnt love me. I just crave normality... A normal family always hugging and kissing and stuff. But I guess thats only meant for fairytales.
- Starr

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:18:13 AM
This is really interesting. I'm starting to figure out what goes on in a woman' mind. I'm anxious to read more.
- Kristopher

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:17:51 AM
If you can include on your website a list of what stations and the airtimes of the show per state that would be helpful to us all! Thank-You, Mike
- Mike

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:17:25 AM
this has helped me alot . thank you
- haley

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:16:40 AM
HEY DAWSON, UM MY DAD WANTED TO GIVE US UP WHEN WE WERE BORN AND MY MOM WOULDNT ALLOW IF SO HE LEFT MY BROTHERS AND I AND WE MOVE TO CALIFORNIA AND THERE MY MOM ET MY STEP-DAD BUT WE CALL HIM OUR REEAL DAD CAUSE HES BEN THERE FOR US SENCE WE WERE 4 YRS. OLD ADN I WANT YOU TO READ MY BLOGAND MESSAGE OR COMMENT ME TELLING ME WHAT YOU THING ABOUT IT. WWW,MYSPACE.COM/TWLOHA123 BLESSINGS JOHN
- JOHN

Wednesday, Jun 20, 2007 - 12:12:30 AM
My dad always cared about whatever i did or said. I could talk to him about ANYTHING. before he died I had a special talk with him about the boys in my life and he gave me great advice that I'll will always treasure. I miss him a whole lot but I'm gonna try my hardest to not let a boy fill the void with sex. I plan to have great relationships but I'm not ever gonna mess around,and when i feel like i'm about to give in I'll just remember my dad
- olivia

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 2:39:53 PM
Hey Dawson, I just want to say thank you so much for helping teenagers like me around the US with there problems. Every time I listen to your show my heart just aches hearing some of the things that kids are going though. from the drugs, sex, boy/girlfriend problems, it's just unbelieveable! But no matter how bad a situation is thank you for reminding us that God is able to do above all that we can ask or imagine, Amen??!! I know your busy and I don't expect and e-mail back. Keep fighting the good fight and encouraging teens to trust in Jesus Christ in everything. because He will never let you down. By his wounds we are healed!! Thanks again Dawson, In Christ, Daniel
- Daniel

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 2:39:19 PM
i think girls give into guys because i think they need someone to love them because they cant love themselves but then it turns out the guy only likes her and loves her for the wrong reasons!!!
- sarina

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 10:31:48 AM
ALL of the PREVIOUS DAWSON BLOGS can be found here: http://dmlive.com/dawsonsblogarchive.html
- To those wanting to read more Dawson blogs

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 10:31:42 AM
i would really like to have parts 1 and 2 of how to deal with father hunger.
- tammy

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 9:09:29 AM
I'd like to read parts 1/2/3 as well if you can send them to my e-mail.
- Amy

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 9:09:23 AM
girls give in cause of th need of a male figure in their life. when their dadis mean or abandonds her she is more gullable to guys!!!!!!!!
- Cassie

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 9:09:16 AM
Hi Dawson :D I listen to your show all the time. and well I just wanted to talk about the father hunger situation. Well my father left my mum, my brother(3 yrs.) and myself when I was 5. It wasnt so bad that he left because I know he loved us but he did abuse us once in awhile. but its the fact that he left at night without a goodbye or note. he just left! I didnt hear from him for months. after awhile we moved to florida. and i started talking to my father again. it was nice because I still loved and I was young I didnt fully understand why he left. around the age of 10 or 11 my father just stopped calling and when I tried to call him, he wouldn't answer. well my mum was talking to my aunt oneday she spilled that he had gotten married and had two step childern. my mum told me and I was ferious, destroyed, confused, ashamed. Finally I got ahold of my dad and him confesed to me. he told me he couldnt call me anymore because his new wife would get angry. he even stopped writing and sending b-day cards. i later found out that his wife was very nice and acually wanted my brother and i to come and visit but my father said no. well a yr or two later i found out my step mother left my dad and so my dad is trying to be a part of my life again. and pretending like nothing ever happened. im trying to forgive him, but its not like he apolgized or anything. but i just feel like I was replaced or traded in for a new family and when it didnt work out he tried to buy me back. I still love him but I just dont like him. I wish sometimes I could just punch him in the heart and then give him a hug. but this has always been a touchy subject with me but no one seems to understand my mum never went through this and well my cusions arent a big help either they always make snicky remarks. but i just had to tell some one. so I feel a bit better now :D thank you for listening....lol
- Michelle

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 12:20:48 AM
hey dawson, i dont know where to start at but here i go i have been talking to this guy for 6 months now we started messing around and i knew he had a girlfriend but didnt care cuz i have liked him for so long. well one night she found out about us and they got into it really bad. he broke her nose, well that next day i had to go and get him out of jail because she went and took charges out on him and i felt it was all my fault. so after all of the drama he started living with me and had no job. i work as a server and every night i would get off i would hand him everything i made, i would also let him take my car while i was at work thinking he was out doing something good...well i started to hear some stuff about he was messing around with another girl in my car well i didnt want to belive that so i just let it ride well about 3 months went by and him and the 1st girl he was with got back together so around that time i started to hate him because he left me for her. but how could i hate some body when i dont the same stuff to her. well we didnt talk for about a month and the girl he was with went to jail. and then he started calling me again and therefore i went straight back to him like a dumb ***. then he started messing with this new girl and we just left it at that we were just friends but the new girl didnt like the fact that we were still talking so about a week went by and he stopped talk to me and that hurt me more then anything.. we didnt talk for about 2 1/2 months. him and my brother are really good friend and my brother came up to me and starting telling me that he has got into drugs really bad and that i needed to do soemthing so i called him and talk to him and he said he was going to stop just for me about 3 days later i get a phone call say that he is in the hopsital because he has o.d. so i was there for him then. well i didnt talk to him for about 2 weeks after all this has happened. so last monday he done some really dumb stuff he did a drive by because these guyz were following him around for about 2 hours he didnt know what to do and he took it in his own hands and started shooting at them well that same day one of my friends told me all about this so i was really worried about him after i heard about this i got a phone call from him asking me to come and bail him out of jail before he even went and turned his self in. i didnt know what to say. well this last week i am been talking to him over the phone just to make sure he is holding in there tomorrow is his court date and he might get a bond and i am really thinking about going to get him out of jail if he gets a bond but i really dont know what to so because i am so scared that he going to get out and do this stuff all over to me again please help me out and let me know what i should do i really do love him and he tells me that he loves me but i dont know if i can belive that.
- Casey

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 12:18:49 AM
ok hey dawson i am having boy troubles. well he is 14 yrs older then myself. I've being haveing sex with him for a year now n i have gained feelings for him he says he cares but he dont show it,. when we first met he told me he had a girlfriend well i ended it acouple months ago cause i seen them together for the first time ever. i still have maddd feelings for him. but i realized i could never take her place, so we ended it . acouple months later i heard they broke up so , i tryed to get in touch with him for my b-day. We all went out to the club , n he showed up. he new it was my birthday he couldnt even tell me happy birthday. the only thing he could do is flirt with another girl right in front of me. so after i got home that night i e~mailed him just to see how he really felt about everything we have been through and also just to see if he took that girl home with him. well the next day i am so happy to get on cuz i knew he was just going to say something good and tell me that he wanted to get with me. we when i got on to check this e~mail more an less it was a hate letter... so i e~mailed him back to see why he wanted to be like this and why he wanted to hurt me so bad after he told me he cared so much about me. so the next e~mail i got from him was telling me that he wished i would die in my sleep cuz i am such a ***** to him. i am have never done anything to hurt him i have alwayz been there for him thought thick and thin. i would put my life on the line for him and he knows this. but for some reason he cant stand me now, is it because i asked him about the girl or is he really done with me.
- Resa

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 12:17:10 AM
hi dawson i have been listing to your show for about 2 eyars now and i never had the nerve to call but the truth is i need to. i agree 100% with all the advice you give and everything your blogs are saying my dad left when i was 10. well ok he didnt leave more like left me for achol. my mom came to pick me up but my dad wasnt there so we left and now i dont tlk to him he is in jail now nad so is my mom i was adopted a total of 4 times in the past 3 years it seems noone wanted me i guess because i was too old or somthing i am about to be 16 now and i have a home. i live with who i call my aunt and uncle. i have a 16 year old sister[[we are 13 months apart]] who has 2 kids that i love to death. and me i have more problems than a math team. i have tried to kill myself many times bedcause i feel like i am not worth living btu then i met this boy who changed everything for me. and now i am sorta happy but inside i am dead already. evryone thinks i have it made but they dont see how bad i hurt. i really wish somone else can feel it for me so i wont have to. and now it seem i cant let anyone in. i was listing to your show an somone said i am my own worst enemy and to me that is true i hate my self for everything i have been through and i do blame myself alot for all the dramma in my life.but everysince i have been listning to your show it seems like my problems arent as big as anyone elses and nobody cares so this is a big step for me to e mail my problems and i hope one day ill get courage to call but the last thing and i am serious i need is a hope coach. i have been let down by so many people i wont let them in and it would be a waste of time and effort i guess i will call your show and tell you the whole nine yards as they say. adn hopefully you can be the first to give me helpful advice
- victoria

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 12:16:32 AM
I would like to read parts 1,2,and3 of this blog so please send them to me in my email.
- tammy

Tuesday, Jun 19, 2007 - 12:01:00 AM
I am a teenager who is currently almost 18 in two months. i give into the guy is because i dont want them to think bad about me or think i cant do what i say i can do. i am enjoying ur show every time i hear it on HOT 995. yeah some shows it makes me cry, i try to call in and talk too u but your always busy! i hope ur show goes forever.<3
- Carol Louise

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:50:08 PM
hey Dawson 2 almost 3 years ago when I was 12 my brother was killed, by my mom and my dad pushed her to do this. My dad is a drug adict has been 4 a long time. My mom has a mental disorder. my brother was 6 years old. I have been adopted by other family (couz). My aunt has showed me and tought me so much about God. and this blog about father hunger showed me how thankful I am because I now have 2 new father figurs in my life (GOD and my uncle). I have forgiven my mom & dad for everything. I have told part of my life story but I have over come this. I just wanted to say that what you tell these people is just so amazinG!!!!!!!!!! God has given you a heart of loving nature also a big one! YOU ARE AN AWESOME PERSON DAWSON!!!!!!! -Thnx 4 every thing - *Jeanna*
- jeanna

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:49:12 PM
hey i just wanted to say how encouraging you've been to me. i went to the hopeline i loved it and now my problem is all gone. god bless you dawson
- Maggie Gerwin

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:48:18 PM
I think im still denail of father hunger, even tho ive never known him i still feel hurt about the fact when i see lil kids running around with there fathers and mothers and i begin to feel left out and bad but then immdetley i just say "It's my fathers loss" but deep deep down i dont belive myself. Everytime i talk to my mom about it she tells me not to worry about him, and that hes a loser because he chose to leave and that i shouldnt have any thought about him, but i do i dont feel like that was right of him and i feel pain even tho i dont want to except it I agree 100000000000000000000000000000% with you dawsn im glad that your radio show helps deal with problems like these =D
- Dominique

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:47:40 PM
Dawson i love what you do and i lost my real father when i was 3 and he lied to me and my older brother all the time so my mom got sick of it and stoped letting us see him i loved him no madder what he did or what he said i dont know why but i did and i dont do stuff with guys and i dont act out but i am always upset about it and i just hide it from everyone and i wish that i could tell my mom how much i want to talk to my dad but she is scared he will hurt me again and i heard a story from a girl that related to mine exept she messed around with guys im only 13 and i have a step-father who loves me to death and still i feel like something is missing
- Kala

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:46:14 PM
I think that this blog is very good and that it's ture.. It will help lots of girls out..
- Christan

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:46:06 PM
you say that father hunger is a reason that girls give into guys but i don't think thats why i do. the only dad problem ive had is my biological dad leaving and cheating on my mom and i barely remember him but my mom got married to this really nice guy whose been a family friend since i was two (now i'm 14). they've been married for 7 years now. i don't think i'm missing a father figure.i give into a lot of stupid things like drugs and self destruction but my mom found out in January and i've partially quit. but my boyfriend started smoking weed because of his older brother and he's doing terrible in school mentally, physically, and educationally. unforunately he's in tennessee all summer and i'm missing him a lot. i missed him so much i had oral sex with a 29 year old guy in la who thinks i'm 21. i don't think this is being caused by father hunger.
- Tasha

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:43:17 PM
Monday, June 18, 2007 - 3:00 PM. It's been 10 months now since my wife and I are separated. She took my 11-year-old daughter with her. I call and tell my daughter every day that I love her and how much I'm concerned about her well being. We have never been that close since she was about 5, because of my work. Now I try to go visit her every week, but after not seeing her the last few weeks, yesterday- Father's Day, I took her (and her friends) out. We had fun together. While driving her back to her mother, I was trying to voice my concern about her (and me): how (most)young girls need fathers- good fathers- to be male or father figure to grow up with. If they don't have, they'll look for one out there just to fill up their Father Hunger holes, and asually end up with premature sex, and teen pregnencies, etc. And suddendly she cut me off by saying, oh dad!, I know. I already know!!! And then about 15 minutes later, your show came up and she told me that she liked it. I asked her what about it. She replied, it's the talk show about kids' problems. And I said, yeah, I like this kind of radio shows, too. Then, ironically, you were discussing about Father Hunger. And then I immediately jumped right in telling her, that what exactly I was talking about- the Father Hunger stuff, but I didn't know the term then. Surprisingly enough, she didn't say a word back to me. And I was quiet, too. Now, my question to you is: How can I talk to her and make her be aware of it? This is very important to me. Please help me. Thank you very much -Chai
- Chai

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:41:30 PM
Hi! This was once a topic at one of my youth group meetings and the teacher once told me something that I will never forget regarding the topic of girls falling for guys. "Guys give love to get sex, girls give sex to get love." Hope this helps!
- Kathy

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 1:20:00 PM
Hey Dawson, I think that father hunger is a big part of giving into guys, but even more than that I think that women see men as importance (like presidents, traditional soldiers,the pope, priests, etc.)And I know I think, that you know if you can get with a man like that then you must be doing something right to deserve someone so important. And when I see other women with a sweet, kind,handsome guy It makes me jealous. Even if I don't know anything about the guy. You know even when you see women in like music videos, and like the girls next door show, there hanging out with pimps and they know it and they know that the guys don't love them. They feel important when there with them. So thats what I think. Thanks for reading! your doing an awesome thing, by helping everyone. -Elisabeth :)
- Elisabeth

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 1:19:48 PM
I Agree 100% with what you are saying about father hunger! I was one of them teens that Dated Older guys, Gave in to them when they wanted Sex because I felt that something was wrong with me because my dad wanted nothing to do with me but these older guys loved me and would take care of me and all I got was hurt by them. While then as I got older my dad started coming around more and believe it or not he ended up rapping me, so now I suffer from bipolar disorder and a few other things but I have learned that you don’t have to date older men to fell loved because I now am dating a guy the same age as me and we et along better and have more in common then all the older guys I was with out together
- Bernice Halberg

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:14:07 AM
I think teen look for father hunger because their fathers are always never around or abuse them!
- Mary

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:13:48 AM
My Father loved me...but in the wrong way....abuse started when I was 8 and lasted a long time... after it stopped I went crazy trying to find love...thats all I wanted..Love..and something I never have been able to find...I think I still want his love..but I know that I never will have that either...just his screwed up sense of love...
- christi-

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:13:36 AM
M'kay...well, I'm really close to my dad, but my friend isn't. Her dad yells at her and calls her terrible names and cusses and a whole lot of other stuff. It's like, if she does any little thing, like not making the bed when I'm over there, he'll start shouting and being mean. And then, when he's not mad he wonders why she doesn't like him all that much, so he tries to buy her stuff to make her like him more. And my friend, I love her to death but she has a lot of boyfriends and stuff. She hasn't done anything too bad yet, but sometimes I get worried about her. And the only thing I can really do is be there and support her. But...yeah. So I hurt for her, because while she celebrates when her dad leaves, I get sad and miss my own father.
- Edie

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:12:58 AM
I know this has nothing to do with your article but i need your help! i broke up with my first girlfriend that i had in middle school and now she wants me back. i just got my first cell phone saturday and she already knows my number and i didn't tell any1 it. I have a new girlfriend and my ex is telling her lies to break me and her up! whatr should i do?
- Tyler

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:12:43 AM
Hey Dawson, I just heard your show last night for the first time, beacause before i go to bed I always listen to jams 96.3 but then when ur show came on i couldnt stop listening to your it. I love how kids can come and have someone to talk to i think this is such a good show. I just wish there was something i could do for these kids and to help them.I mean all families have problems i know that, but It breaks my heart to hear there stories because i have been blessed with such a loving family. god bless all of you out there..<3 thanks dawson for all your guidance and help to all the kids in need out there..keep up the great work <3-Hannah
- Hannah

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 11:12:12 AM
hi dawson Ive been listening to your show and it bothers me that lately everything has been turned to "father hunger". I dont neccesarily believe that thats why young girls turn to older men, or to a father figure. My father and I had a great realtionghip, we used to fish hunt and ride 4 wheelors, hang out witht he family,he used to coach my softball team a long time ago. Then everything changed when i turned 18 and moved out, he was so angry with me for dating a black guy. and I havent talked to him in 2 years now..Im not father hungry....
- Libbie

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 9:00:18 AM
hey had a question about how to deal with insults coming from the ppl that care for u.. aka parents.. they love u but they dont understand u so sensitive ur already srtuggling to deal with other ppl and now their not realizing they are butchering u with their words. it hurts alot. and its like why am i not like everybody else everything i do is wrong.
- deAnna

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 8:59:49 AM
Hi this is my story so my dad hade a big car accident when I was 9 years old he was in coma during chrisms and new years after that he was in coma for 6 months the doctors didn’t think he was going to make it and if he did he was never going to be the same and he was not going to be abele to walk well he woke up from the coma and was abele to walk and talk it toke some time but he go there well the doctors where right he was not the same he beat me for a long time and I was stupid and took ,I was asking my self where my mother was well time went by and I took it every day tell one day we moved to Arkansas, when we got to Arkansas things where well, I don’t even know my dad dint hit me as bad but it was still there, well after one year of living there my mom went into a bad depression and tried to kill her self at that time I hade a brother that was 8 and 2 well I was only 12 and I hade to take care of them and my mom got a lot better my dad douse not hit me any more but the pain and anger was still there, I was 14 I meat some one and he told me that he loved me and I was every thing to him and stuff so we hade sex and when school started that year I found out he hade a girl friend and some other girls on the side my mom and dad douse not know about this, we moved in to a new house and things where okay tell my older sister the only one I was really close to the only one I could talk to joined the army and hade to leave for 6 months I know its not that bad to a girl that has no one was to long so things got really bad and well I tried to kill my self I was so close I was in the hospital for 2 months my mom was there for me and she thinks we are really close but there is a big cut in my hart that she and my dad gave me so to sold all that pain I turned to sex well I came to find that during the time I was with some one I felt like that cut was being held but at the end I came to find that the cute only grew more and more so I came to HATE men and I still do. PS not very good with spelling!
- Michelle

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 2:35:20 AM
Hey Dawson. I was thinking about your blogs and thinking about how me and my dad like almost never get along and when we do it's for like 5 min on like something stupid.... and i was thinking that a lot of other girls go through the same thing and i know i kind of want my dad to be with me and hang out with me more but he's always yelling at me and acting like he didn't do anything wrong and being so happy around my other brothers and sisters... And i'm only 14 and i kind of fell for a guy who was 19 and he kind of just used me cuz he knew i wanted a person who would act like a dad to me more then my real dad does and for my step dad he moved away and my step mom died when i was 4....so i know if i lived with my step dad that i would have some1 to look up 2 and all but he moved away so i can't and i only ever get to talk to my step dad like 3 times a week if that.... And he's not really my step dad and i never really had a step mom it's just they were more like my parents then my real parents were...so i call them my step parents...well yeah....so back to what i was thinking about....that so many girls have needed or wanted a father like guy in their lifes so they try and do anything just to get a guy to act like a father to them even if it's going out with a 23 year old when your 16... Oh...and i also wanted to say i (LOVE) your show and it has helped me a lot just my hearing it almost every sunday night... So i really wanted to say keep up the good work... God-bless... <3
- Janell

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 1:49:13 AM
hi! this is a great beginning to the topic, as it touches on the basics. i dont think it could help me, though. my dad and i are so far apart as far as deciding things like my career and where i wanna be and all, i dont think we could ever make up for lost time, or anything like that. im also very mad at the fact that he's lied to me my entire life and learning the truth from my mother makes me view things in a totally opposite way. i dont wanna say i hate him, but i also dont wanna say i love him to death either.
- Jessica

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:58:45 AM
I must say that i absolutely love your show. Its just what we, as young adults need. Im 15 years old and wanted to tell you that when I was listening to the show I was dumbfounded by wht I heard. For the first time, i knew that others were just like me. My father hasn;t always been there but he does what he can. I thought he was wonderful until my mother began to tell me what he was really like. My parents are divorced and I always wanted that "father figure" in my life. Well I found him but i didn't know that I looked at him in such a way until i heard you telling a young man why a girl he liked was seeing guys that were treating her badly. She could be with him and be treated like a queen and you said she feels unworthy of the good guy. WOW! I feel the same way. I really do not feel worthy of him. He's talented and devoted to God and treats me like a queen.He just knows when i need to talk and no matter what it is he is always there for me. (He actualy calls me his queen) I guess I'm scared that I will treat him with all that I have and it won't be enough. I'm in love with him and he is in love with me and we were in a 8 month relationship in 2005. We are not currently together but weare bestfriends and we both know that we want to be together. There is one more problem too...his mother isn't so fond of me. What do you suppose I do?
- Jamye

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:40:51 AM
Well im only 14 years old my real dad has been out of my life for a very long time and my mothers has been with my step dad for 12 years. i have 1 brother and 2 sisters and one on the way im more of the mother figure to my sisters and my brother when my mom and dad get home from work they go right to sleep i have to do everything around the house my parents never make anything to eat and i feel like dying some times because i feel like im on the earth to do nothing but serve my parents and i dont know what to do so i started cuttin myself i know it sounds bad but there is to much pressure on me thats all i got to say
- Emily

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:39:29 AM
I dont have a connection to my father at all... He lives in mexico with his wife and kids. I've had alot of problems with men... my first boyfriend that I got serious with domesticated me basically. he abused me physically and mentally. he used the fact that he wasnt my first the pivital point of his abuse. I finally got him out of my life! and moved on. but every time I turn around he seems to be there. my ex after him is trying to get back with me. but I cant really see myself with him. and I dont know why. hes kind and considerate but I cant stand to be with him... and to make matters worse I still care about my other ex who didnt really treat me that well. I make excuses for him but my best friends want me to see all the bad things hes done to me. but I cant seem to move on. any ideas to help me?
- carolyn

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:37:17 AM
Hey, I' ve been listening to your show for awhile now and it has helped me soooo much. My dad just got out of prison for the fourth time in the past two years.My dad and I are about 5 thousand miles away from each other.Right now I'm livin with my mom and step-dad.My step-dad isn't much better. He makes me feel worthless. He hits me, chokes me, and anything else he could do to hurt me. I started messing around with these boys that were in gangs and were always in trouble. Oneday I ws messing with one of them and it went to far. Almost evryone in the school found out I wasn't a virgin. I'm just glad my parents didn't find out.
- Shay

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:25:18 AM
that is how i fell so om tims my dad was never in my life sow ht i why i fell so storg about it
- monique

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:25:00 AM
This doesn't answer this week's question, but I'd like to say I have a very serious problem with "father hunger." I call it a "fatherly void" that I'm desperately trying to fill. I reached out to one of my male professors last fall, because I was really falling apart, and he has been really helping me. I keep going back and forth with some really daughterly feelings toward him, and I've said it to him a few times, though I feel really ashamed of it. Yesterday, he finally told me it was okay, that he "could love me like a daughter, within limits." And he said he would always be there for me as long as he was helping me rather than adding to the problems. And then today he e-mailed me and said he'd thought more about our situation (we've been e-mailing almost daily since spring semester ended) and realized that we needed to return to more appropriate boundaries. Student and professor, period. I feel so betrayed, so lost. I felt like I'd finally found the father I'd always so desperately needed...but it's just an illusion like everything else. You're either born with a good father or you lose out and are perpetually screwed up. I don't know what to do. I feel like no one could ever love me for me. I'm a burden. I'm always crossing boundaries. I'm always needing more than anyone can give. I feel like I'm doomed to be empty and unloved, by a father figure or anyone else. Thank you so much for talking about this topic. Please, please continue.
- Jadzia

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:22:18 AM
there was a hole left in my heart a little over a year ago when "the love of my life" exboyfriend broke up with me. he was the only thing i knew romantically and ever since then i've been trying to fill that hole with different guys. you were talking about why girls give into guys. I give into guys because i find myself trying to find one like the one that left me. I don't need another John in my life, he ruined me emotionally while we were together and even today when i talk to him. I've gone through a lot trying to fix these problems he's made in my life. He ruined my self esteem by telling me that other girls were prettier than i was and many other things. I keep giving into guys because they ARE just like him, they're ****** guys that want me to do what they want me to do instead of care for me. i search for someone who cares over and over again, and i can't seem to find any one. This search has caused me to lose friends and a lot of myself. On of the comments noted above said that sex hurts your heart and it can never be the same again. It's true. My heart hurts every day because of what i've done trying to fix it. Giving into guys is killing me, and i don't know how to stop it.
- Kimberly

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:11:38 AM
Hey Dawson, I've just started listening to your show and I have to say your great. When I was born my parents decided that my father would stay out of my life. My mom married and my stepfather at the time was a jerk I was very young, but I remember him beating her. They divorced and guys came in and out of my life. So I never had that father figure there. When I turned 7 my biological father came into my life. Over the next 10 years all i got from him was a broken heart over and over again. The first guy that came into my life i slept with and he left me. I have never had a serious relationship because I guess I belive that every man is going to leave me. I never told anyone this. Thanks for everything.
- Beth

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:10:07 AM
I don't have a relationship with my biological father who lives 2 and a half miles from my apartment, my abusive and drunk step father moved out when I was in the 7th grade and passed away when i was 19. Over the past 8 years, I have a great man who stepped in with amazing wisdom and took on the role of a type of father to me. I do have some of these issues but I have always seemed to just see reality. The damaging reality needs no covering up. I seem to only be attracted to powerful men, I seem to hate small mistakes in men because I am looking for someone who won't hurt me like they did. I am trying to learn how to develop a healthy relationship or even a want for a relationship and not try to cover up pain for independence. It is the opposite of always giving in - never giving in. Constantly fighting the battle of trying to make the cloudy emotions of hate/emptiness into forgiveness and chances. That seems to be the hardest part, realistic scars from realistic circumstances beyond your control. Learning that you can't control everything. Learning to laugh and have fun and let yourself be loved by others. Letting that wall down one brick at a time. Learning that you are an ok person, learning to love something that your own father didn't, you.
- Melissa

Monday, Jun 18, 2007 - 12:03:43 AM
well um i have a friend that want to get with every guy she sees and she tries to make me jealous because she thinks i cant get a guy and she also thinks that everybody that sees her likes her and she thinks that they stare at her
- ali

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:58:52 PM
hi. well my dad died when i was 4 so i never got to know him, and from what i understand he was a good man a good father but a not so good husband. i hear stories about him from my mom all the time that are either happy or sad. most are sad. and that's the way it's allways been. with every woman in my family they all have men problems. they talk about how horrible they are and that's all i got raised hearing. so i convinvenced myself along time ago i would never let a man do that to me. sadly i had a boyfriend i really liked and was kind to me. but i told people about him and they were like you love him don't you. and that pained me to here. and my cuz who is my bestfriend was there and personaly i think she got jealose(sp) becouse i had a boyfriend and she didnt but he did something stupid and she started hating on him. and then she said he was cheating on me wich i didn't believe but it was what i needed to hear. i broke up with him. i just need to get away from my family or grow up a little more and maybe i can convince myself to stay with a guy. and who knows maybe oneday i can convince myself to let go and love him. oh and thanks i love your show.
- Kimberly

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:52:30 PM
Hey Dawson! I live in philly and i hear ur show after work so I had something to say in response to this blog about father hunger. i never heard about this so i was really curious and wish u had written more. i think i go through this everytime i meet someone. my longest relationship has been a month and a half because i just get 'tired' of them and hurt them b4 they hurt me. i think i find guys who can love me because i feel like my dad was never around with me so i need to hear nice things being said to me, something i never had with my dad.
- Elizabeth

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:43:46 PM
Girls give into guys because theythink that will solve all their problems.I thought that would solve mine til my bestfriend had her baby last week.So I won't be long.But I love ur show it helps me think stuff through.An I think I had a bad life till I here bout them kids and young adults.
- kallie jo

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:43:29 PM
well i have been haveing problems with my dad well i have 2 sis 1 bro and me well one time we were at the dinner table and allof isuden my dad gets up and starts yelling at us and saying whoes better and saying hes gouing to leve us it feels like i dont have a life with him and im just a loser and hes dune this about 15 times i just dont know what to go and it feelss like iv dune every part to mack him mad. madison
- madison

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:36:51 PM
well i have a prablem with the computer well i have benn on the coputer asking goues out and been haveing coputer sex with them and iv been trying to stop i just so adicktiv and i can stop so i just need to talk to someone. madison
- madison

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:31:20 PM
Hello Dawson, I would just like to say I listen to your show every Sunday on 101.3 KDWB. I listen to these stories and your advice and use that for other situations. I hope you continue to keep inspiring young teens and adults. I recomend to my friends in little or big crisis to your show and your number. They've called and talked and they say it helps. I love your show. Thank you.
- Sasha

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:15:14 PM
Hi Dawson, just wanted to say hi and thank you for your wonderful show! I know you have and will help a lot of people in life! Hope that you stay with 96.5.
- Karen

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 11:02:53 PM
My dad treats me like i'm the biggest problem in his life. and since he doesn't care too much for me. he treats my sis way better than me. and i don't have a mother cuz she died. i turn to guys so i can feel wanted. to feel like i belong somewhere in the world.
- KT

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:59:48 PM
when i was about 8 years old I found out I had another father and I was happy till I spent the night and then he went to work and I was there with my step mom and she was all mean to me and I really felt like she diden't like me so what I did when I when back to my grandmas house I told her what happen and she tried to call him but I sad"no" please don't I don't whunt him to know so she took me home and she told me not to tell my mom and dad so I diden't tell thim my real dad did and my mom was so mad and for the pass 3 years i didne't get to see my grandma and thin my other grand ma died and thin we moved to folrida and thin my mom and dad were thinking and the let us talk to hre and i cried so bad and I was upset well you would be upset to if you havent seen or talk to your grandama for 3 years thin just this year around the holidays my grandma and gramdpa came down and spent time with us and i was so happy :)
- Stephanie

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:43:57 PM
Hey, I never knew my birthfather, and had been trying to find him by myself. I didnt tell my mom or stepfather who had been my legal father since I was three, so all my daddy memories are of him. I knew it would hurt them to find out so I stopped, but I am still a little curious about him. I have never looked for a father figure in my boyfriends because I'm only thirteen and just started dating. Not all girls are like that.
- Alita

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:40:48 PM
Wow what a great topic. I have this issue too. I have a pillar that is my need to prove to myself that God thought me strong enough to overcome the issue, I can be independent and not have to re-hash the issues, instead I accept & forgive & have fun while I learn to cope with my emotional holes. My goal is to live for my own survival first, and next to love my friends around me. You can pick your friends!! Be strong & have faith!
- Christy

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:40:12 PM
Don't give in to a guy just because you need somthing more from someone it happened to me and i got hert! Just make shur you have some one to talk to Like Dawson to help you through the pain and he will wash it away!Thanks for all you do! Rebekah
- Rebekah

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:39:58 PM
im going through a lot of suicde
- haileigh

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:25:00 PM
what up dawson i listen to ur show at work and think it is really kool that there is someone really out there that is willing to take the time and listen to peoples problems keep up the good work STEVE
- steve

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:08:41 PM
Hi Dawson, I have listened to your show for a while now, I know that I havent been in any situations that are talked about, but if I ever am I will know how to deal with them! Thank you so much for everything you do, and I am happy that you take your time to help people in need!
- Alissa

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:08:00 PM
i love the show i think its great that u help teens thought there problem keep up the igreat show/work
- sunday

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:07:31 PM
This topic couldn't of come at a better time in my life then right now. At 21 im still dealing with this, i've never been able to pick word to describe this problem intil i read this blog [father hungry], but when i think about the things ive done in my life and the reason why it most of the time leads back to one reason my childhood and the fact that i never propaly dealt with it. everything dawson has said in his blog is so true, trust me ive done them all to sleep with guys, medicated myself, etc.. and everytime sure enough the pain never went away it only came back stronger. Ive tried to pretend its not there but always seem to show up at the worst times. As from my experince the best way to deal with it is to face it head on and one day at a time.
- Amanda

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:06:35 PM
Dawson, thank you for helping me with my problems even though i never called in. Tonight was my first night listening to your show and you have already helped me...so just think of all the other people you are helping. Thank you and Happy Fathers day.
- Gabby

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:06:17 PM
My dad and I have been close for as long as I can remember, basically because he and I are more mellow, while my mom and my sister are more dramatic. I think the biggest thing that's helped me bond with my dad is sports. I'm not athletic AT ALL, but he helped coach my basketball team, takes me to the batting cage for softball, did yoga with me for a year, and takes a spinning class with me every sunday. I love listening to this show by the way. Honestly, it helps me see my own problems in perspective (whatever minor drama i have always feels less important after I listen to the problems you deal with on the show)
- Clara

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 10:05:05 PM
I just wanted to say to any girl having father problems (i just finally got through mine..) Any man can be a father..but it takes someone special to be a daddy. Just remember that you shouldn't let any man use you at all. Be strong even when you feel weak. Know that you can do anything you put your mind to even though it doesn't feel like you can accomplish anything. Anyone who puts you down does it to make themselves feel better, even though it hurts, just ignore it. My father used to tell me to shut the **** up because i would never amount to anything in life. well i took that anger from him and focused it onto my school work and now i am going to a great college where i can start over and not let any man use me. please stay strong ladies...don't let any man take control or hurt you..go to someone you trust to help you..it helps..believe me. always know that someone in the world loves you.
- Steph

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 9:57:57 PM
Dawson, your such a supporting, incredible person and the world needs more people like you. i mean when ever i hear advise on the radio that would help me i listen. the strories on your show just are truely amazing, and your wisdom really helps these people.
- elif

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 9:57:44 PM
Dawson, you have mentioned before that you have two adopted children. But listening to your show each week, I would have to say that in your heart you have adopted many, many more than just two! Listening to call after call, I'm sure that many that you talk to are looking up to you as the only father figure in their life. God bless you for that... ... and HAPPY FATHERS's DAY, Dawson, to a "dad" of kids all over the nation!
- lavender

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 9:45:29 PM
You are a wonderful person, truely. My friends call me so often for advice, ever since elementary school they've asked for my help. I listen to your show and I can't tell you how many times I've helped people with some of those situations. What amazes me the most is that I tell my friends almost exactly what you tell the people you help. Since the first time I heard your show I've been recomending my friends to you and your site. I'm not sure how many actually read or called in, but I hope they have. I just wanted to tell you that I think what you do is amazing, because I know people don't always trust their friends with some of their problems. Thankfully, they have someone like you for help. I speak for my friends and everyone like me, Thank You!
- Megan

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 9:41:15 PM
I happened upon your show tonight, and instead of changing the channel I decided to listen in, and I was really glad that I did! Im no longer in contact with my dad, but I'm sort of glad that I'm not...I have terrible memories of my father, he use to beat my mom and me. He would only call once a year, if even that, and I never really mattered to him. I grew up without a father really because he was never around, but I've come to realize that it's prefectly okay, because he was and isn't the best man for me to have looked up to. But right now at this point in my life I'm sort of depressed because I was just injured in the sport that I play, that is basically my life, and so I sort of feel like giving up on everything, my friends are starting to turn their backs on me and my mom lives thousands of miles away. I'm just confused and I don't know what to do anymore...
- Skye

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 9:36:41 PM
i think we give in to guys because it attention and me personally i lost my dad and i am in foster care so i cant see my older brother and its attention from a male! i cant believe the fact my dads dead and i try not to think about it but its hard expecially on fathers day and december3 the annaversery! i hate attention but it makes me feel wanted needed and love when a male comforts me
- chelsea

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 8:48:51 PM
your show rocks
- Natalie

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 7:17:27 PM
Please keep doing these blogs, and thank you for caring about teens and relizing they need to talk about their issues.
- Kim

Sunday, Jun 17, 2007 - 7:17:15 PM
My dad beats me and use to sexually abuse me. I have always been around alot of sexually active people. I guess thats why I wanted to have sex with guys. Because my dad told me he didnt love me and at 12 years old, I need a father figure in my life. I have never really had one. And now my mom hits me and im lost. So now I just tell myself 'only 5 years until Im out of my house.Only 5 years until I go to college' So... i guess until then... im lost. Because no one loves me. My parents beat me, boys use me, and i just hurt myself by cutting. I am in a dark spot in my life and for now... only I can change it. But I dont know how. -HAZARD
- cam

Saturday, Jun 16, 2007 - 7:44:33 PM
i luv ur show. i listen to it every sunday night until i fall asleep. it keeps me up for about 2 hours until i die. its the best shoe ever. i luv how u help people. i have done virtual chat before and it reallt helped me. youre awesome!
- marygrace

Saturday, Jun 16, 2007 - 2:53:55 PM
My dad still lives at my house and everything so he's here, but he makes it obvious he hates me, is disappointed in me and doesn't care if I do well and hopes I do badly(he really said he hopes I do badly on my tests at the end of year so I have to repeat the grade). I go looking for love elsewhere, in other guys. And I've been tossed around quite a bit because I'm too willing to go back to the guy who hurts me. My dad has basically disowned me. I don't know another way to deal with the pain other than cutting, because that's how I react naturally and what everyone tells me to do. A friend of mine sat me down one day and confronted me with the truth, that I had a birth father and no Dad. The way he put it was "Everyone has a father, but not everyone has a Dad." He's the one who referred me here...
- Sarah

Saturday, Jun 16, 2007 - 10:20:36 AM
WOW tis is so right on!. Please send me blog 1 2 and 3 and 4 in my email if you would. My teen age gilrs suffer so much from this as I did when I was a young girl. My 17 year old cried the other day over be abandoned and she has only showm anger and hate thus far so I think she may have a break through with your insightful blogs. I love her so much and no matter how hard I try I can not be mom and dad. She is a good girl and so funny but deep down she hurts. Her name is Jalyn. screen name "Poo" I'll send her profile to you. Please pray for her and our earthly fatherless family. I love you for years and years Sandy
- Sandy

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 9:43:36 PM
Well, my dad and I are very close, and we're always doing things together. I know a lot of people can't say that so I spend all the time I can with him, which probably makes us closer. I mean we'll go out to eat on Saturday afternoons, play catch in the backyard, go to Red Sox games (which is a big deal for him because he is a huge yankee fan), etc. Sure, we'll fight like any teenager does with their father, but deep down we have a very close bond. _*Katie*_
- Katie

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 8:43:25 PM
Denial is a very difficult far down step to take. To let yourself realize the pain, the reality, is a lot to put on a person. I'm still in denial after years of trying to put the past away. My father treating me like all I want is money, and to not care about anything else and not about my school life or friend/bf life. I agree with Cali's comment up there in the blog. Love is pain, pain taken or given in the wrong or right way, will hurt; no matter what you do. I heard that the only people you can really trust in this world is your parents? Why does the world lie?
- Julie

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 7:08:42 PM
i lov ur show man is the best show in the u.s.a i never forget about ur programs and is is soo cool and it help my on my lif with my parents
- amy

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 5:07:07 PM
My dad walked out of my life. He use to love me and be the best ever!! But then his love to drink became stronger than his love for his children. I have not seen him for about a year now. I hear from him every now and then but he never wants to talk to me he always calls to talk to my brother. he owes over 4,000 dollars in child support and my mom she tries really hard to give me and my two brothers a good life. But its just really hard and I cant take it at times. The pain is very strong. And sometimes I consider men more as a father figure than a friend. These blogs on father hunger are so inspirational!! Thank you so much for the inspiration you have given me along with several others!! -Allyson
- Allyson

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 4:00:14 PM
My dad never paid much attention to me..he did to my brother though because my brother was more like him and he liked hunting and fishing and that kind of stuff.Anything that pertained to me was considered stupid or not important.my dad never said he loved me and i dont remember him saying to my brother either.I dont know how he really felt or what was going on with him.He died in 2004 and im stil conflicted about how i should feel about his death...
- Emily

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 3:33:24 PM
my dad was always good to me and my brothers and sister. Until in later years his back began to hurt terribly so he took medications to relieve his back pain. He took so many medications that he would become like a drunk person. He really did love me and my siblings but soon he took way too many medications and he died of a heart attack in the middle of the night when i was 10. Now i am 16 going to be 17 and I really miss him. Its hard not living without a father. Very hard. I need him so much to help me with my life as a father would guide his kids. I have a mother that i love dearly but i lost my father and its really hard for me. Please pray that i'll overcome this father hunger thing.I used to think im inetrested in older men but really i found out that im missing that fatherly figure and i want to find it in some man, beacsuee i feel like its absent in my life. Please help me and pray for me.
- Renee

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 3:28:50 PM
alot as changed since we left my dad. and i havent really ever had a good relationship with him...well just the other day he broke down and said he wants to have a relationship... but i dont really know how to have one with him. Ive never had a good one with him. So its weird and im kind of scared. Sometimes i dont want one with him... i guess im still bitter at him alittle bit. Well anyways, thank you for everything you do. I listen to u pretty much every sunday. thank you.
- jamie

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 2:55:20 PM
Hey I want to say KEEP IT UP "D". You rock and I love your show its amazing. Iliston to your show evrey sunday i love it im teling you it is so cool again "KEEP IT UP:......!! kelly A
- KELLY

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 2:55:08 PM
Hi, I have suffered from father hunger for a long time and I had no idea. I have/had been having some issues and when you started talking father hunger, it put into terms what's been going on w/ me. please contact me through my email I would really like to share w/ you every thing I've been going through. I think it will help me if You do. Thanks a mil. Alecia
- Alecia

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 2:20:29 PM
Girls give into guys because they feel if they do the things that guys say that the guy would want them even more. but most of the time thats not the case, most guys in there teens are mostly looking for SEX not relationships. Guys aren't looking for relationships because they don't want to be tied down so soon.
- Caprice Strange

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 12:00:09 PM
I have a story about how me and my dad got closer: My mom has been horribly mean to my dad and me lately and the only one I can talk to is him. She treats both of us like ****, but he knows how to handle it and he knows when I am upset. I used to be really close to my mom and now I'm really close to my dad.
- Megan

Friday, Jun 15, 2007 - 8:14:23 AM
I have a story that made me appreciate my father more. We're already close, but ever since I heard this girl Katelyn's story, I appreciate my dad ten times more. Katelyn is 14, and her mom died from cancer when she was 7. Her dad remarried recently, and Katelyn prefers to call her stepmom her 'stepwitch.' Katelyn's dad comes home drunk most of the time. She hates being at her house and gets out whenever she can. She has very few friends that she trusts. She cuts and has been very close to suicide several times. To make matters worse, she left her church a few months ago and refuses to go back. So not only does she have the whole Father Hunger thing going on, but she told me straight out she is not planning on going back to God. So after hearing her story and listening her talk to her dad on the phone, I appreciate my dad (and my faith) a LOT more than I ever have. Next time I talk to her I will definitely ask her to check into your blog sometime. She could really use some solid advice from an adult.
- Morgan