Last week I had a chance to begin my blog on how a guy should respect a girl. This has become a very popular blog. The reason is simple: Everyone wants to be respected. The desire to be respected by someone of the opposite sex is something that runs deep within everyone, even though most people don’t take the time to find someone who truly respects them. It seems like people are just looking for someone to show them the slightest amount of attention, settling for something much less than respect.
I am convinced one of the best ways to help any relationship grow is by showing respect. Check out last week’s blog here. I want to continue the list I started last week on how a guy shows respect to a girl. (Thanks for your many comments from last week. You had some great things to say.)
Here’s a recap of last week’s list:
How Does A Guy Show Respect To A Girl?
- He talks with her in a courteous way.
- He never tries to take advantage of her sexually.
- He gives her time and attention.
- He knows when to joke and when to be serious.
|
People are just looking for someone to show them the slightest amount of attention, settling for something much less than respect. | Lorelei had a great idea to add to #1 on the list: “A way guys can show respect in a relationship is instead of calling their girlfriend hot or sexy all the time, call her beautiful and pretty. It's a major self-confidence booster. It makes me feel more wanted on a better level than just sexual.”
Let’s continue the list...
- He doesn’t flirt with other girls. When a guy is dating a girl and he flirts with other girls, he shows her he’s not committed to her, and that she is no more special to him than all the other girls. Erin had a bad experience with a guy who did this. “The guy I just broke up with, I broke up with because he flirted with other girls right in front of me...not respectful at all!”
- He points out her strengths. Let her know how amazing she is and how impressed you are by her talents and gifts. Everyone needs to be encouraged. When a guy sincerely encourages a girl, he is making an amazing impact on her life. Some people never forget a sincere and encouraging compliment.
-
|
When a guy sincerely encourages a girl, he is making an amazing impact on her life. | He shows respect for her family and her other friends. Let’s face it. A person’s family has a huge impact on the person you are dating. To disrespect that family is to disregard one of the most vital parts of their life. Celeste said this is really important to her. “If you respect her, you should also show respect to her parents, siblings etc. Even if you don’t get along with them.”
- He helps her to feel welcome and comfortable in a group of other people, especially in a group of other guys. No girl wants to look stupid or feel uncomfortable in front of other people, especially guys. Many guys have made the horrible mistake of ignoring or belittling his girlfriend in front of his buddies. This is relational sabotage.
-
|
When a guy asks a girl what she thinks or feels, listens to her, and often follows her counsel, he’s showing he has great respect for her. | He doesn’t try to manipulate or control her emotions. When a guy tries to manipulate a girl’s emotions, he’s basically telling her he doesn’t respect what you think or feel. He only wants to use you for his own selfish desires. When a guy asks a girl what she thinks or feels, listens to her, and often follows her counsel, he’s showing he has great respect for her.
- He is trustworthy. Keep your word and do what you say. LyAnn has some advice for guys: “Ladies take what you say to heart. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.”
- He trusts her. You can show tremendous respect to your girlfriend by showing her you trust her. Celeste said a big way to show respect is to give her the space she wants and needs. “If she says she's going out with her friends, then she's going out with her friends. Let her go have fun without calling her every five minutes to see what she's doing—she'll call you when she gets home. She doesn't need to check in with you—you're not her dad.” That’s a good word, Celeste.
|
“Everything in this world is a gift from God, and women are the most beautiful, precious gift of all.” | I’ll leave you with a great comment I received from Jonathan who said the best way a guy can show respect to a girl is by recognizing that she is a precious creature carefully crafted by God. “Once this realization sets in most everything else will follow. Holding the door, listening, being sensitive to their needs and sensitivities, treating them like people and not sex objects, opening the car door, walking them home, listening and talking to their face and not their chest, defending them verbally and, should the need arise, physically...I could go on. Everything in this world is a gift from God, and women are the most beautiful, precious gift of all. That fact alone charges us to give them all the respect we can.” This is a young man who understands how to respect a young woman. (Way to go, Jonathan!! You’re right on the money!)
Next week, I’m going to blog about how a girl shows respect to a guy. We have had a lot of people writing about how girls like to be treated with respect. How can you show a guy the same kind of respect you are looking to be shown? Guys? What’s the best way for a girl to show you she respects you? Send me your comments and stories and I’ll add them to my list.
Friday, Sep 19, 2008 - 8:55:27 PM
I really liked you blog but even if a guy shows respect for a girl for some reason girls don't often do it back. I've shown respect to people and they just disrespect me even when im nice. its hard for a guy to be respectful when a girl isnt
- Dan
Wednesday, Sep 17, 2008 - 7:25:29 PM
I heard about your blog on your show several times. Whenever I finally got the chance to read it I thought it was great! I myself am a girl. I hate it whenever guys treat me like an object instead of a person. I'm more developed than most of the other girls in my grade so guys are always making rude and stupid comments to me. A few months ago I met this one guy. He talks to me not like the other guys do but how my gal friends talk to me. Like he looks at my eyes when he talks to me instead of my chest. He's the nicest guy I've ever met. Your blog was so inspirational to me. I wish all the guys (and girls) at my school would read this!
- Michaela
Wednesday, Sep 17, 2008 - 7:24:47 PM
Girls can show respect for guys by not trying to munipulate their emotions purely for your own gain. Girls complain about guys doing this, but i have heard a lot more girls doing it.
A way both my sister and i show our bf's respect is instead of them doing everything for us, we know the things they like to eat or drink and bring them things like that. For example, i knew which Vitamin Water my bf likes(which is mine also!) and i got two bottles so that when he came over the next weekend, i surprised him with it. And at dinner i got his drink for him and took his plate back to the kitchen. i like to do things for him because he shows me respect, and i gladly return it. Respect has to be one of the top things in a relationship, that and trust can never be overlooked or underappreciated
- Lorelei
Tuesday, Sep 16, 2008 - 8:14:12 PM
Girls can show respect by giving the man space. Also i have learned in my current relationship that my bf loves it when hes had a hard day at work and he comes to visit me and i give him attion and i usuly rub his back just because he likes it. So learn what a man likes and dislikes and if he dislikes it dont do it!
- Sammy
Monday, Sep 15, 2008 - 8:52:02 PM
+1
- Jasen
Monday, Sep 15, 2008 - 6:17:59 PM
Respect is something a girl absolutely loves! It shows that they aren't in the relationship for sex like so many guys are. If you respect a girl, then don't lie to her. That just proves that you don't care enough, or even at all.
- Becca
Sunday, Sep 14, 2008 - 11:49:52 PM
i love this blog i do follow it and ladies and gentlemen it really dosw work i giv it a 100 out of a 10
- taylor
Sunday, Sep 14, 2008 - 11:41:27 PM
my boyfriend and i were good in the beginning..but now its like he doesnt care about me anymore. like he stopped caring about anything to do with me anymore.. on thursday is our five months.. i love him and im soo attached.. idk how to leave him. i tried but i went backk and he came back.. idk what to do anymore.. i wana try and work this out with him and we both say that! but im always the one trying to do something.. and he never does anything. idk why im so hooked on him =/
- krista
Sunday, Sep 14, 2008 - 9:30:30 PM
dawson my gf pregnet and she don't want me 2 tell my parent
- Randon
Sunday, Sep 14, 2008 - 7:53:59 PM
Mr. Dawson great blog, this topic is my favorite. I'm a junior in high school and this topic has opened me up to new things about respect & young ladies. I never thought an nice complement would make a young ladies day great or booster her self-esteem up. And how just listening & giving your time to a young lady means a lot to her. I hope God gives me a chance to have a high school lover before I graduate to show my full respect to a young lady so that I will be pre-pared for my true soulmate. thanks
- Deacon-B
Sunday, Sep 14, 2008 - 1:33:14 AM
I agree with what Jonathan said. A girl shows a guy respect in many of the same ways a guy shows a girl respect. Respect is definitely a two way street. I think that if you want to gain respect, you have to give it.
- Amy
Sunday, Sep 14, 2008 - 12:41:23 AM
i always tried to show respect to my boyfriend by helping him out. he was a full time student and worked a full time job. i knew his time was limited, and i never tried to demand lots of time from him. instead i would make him a meal and meet him between classes or on his lunch break at work. he really appreciated it, and i felt like i was respecting his schedule while still fitting in time to see him.
- lindsay
Saturday, Sep 13, 2008 - 11:42:07 PM
+1 for jonathan
- Travis
Saturday, Sep 13, 2008 - 5:54:01 PM
As far as girls showing respect to guys is concerned, several of the same things apply. A girl needs to realize that a guy is not an object, but he is a person crafted God. She should not flirt with other guys when she has a boyfriend (whether he's present or not!), she should listen and talk to him, encourage him, respect his family, let him have his space, be trustworthy, trust him (and moreso if he proves trustworthy) and defend him if her friends verbally harass or abuse him. She must also respect herself; if a guy desires to date her or even just be her friend, he must like something about her. By not liking herself, she is also saying that her friends and/or boyfriends opinions of her don't mean anything to her. If she returns compliments with contradictory remarks, she is not respecting the guy's opinion, nor his attempt to respect her. Furthermore, if she asks a guy's opinion, if he answers honestly (and preferably tactfully) with an answer she didn't want, she needs to realize that he respected her enough not to lie to her, and she needs to respect his opinion, even if she doesn't agree with it, and not get angry with him because of it. Finally, I think one of the most important ways a girl can respect a guy is to not pressure him sexually. Most guys, because of how they're wired, are already tempted sexually just by being with or even thinking about their girlfriend, and they don't need any more encouragement in this area. If a girl truly respects a guy, she will dress modestly. This will respect him twofold: it will help keep his mind off of her body, and it will show him that she's not trying to catch the eyes of any other guys.
- Jonathan
|
