1. If you say to yourself, “I am a person worth loving and respecting,” you will start to believe it about yourself.

   Don’t let other people’s thoughts about you shape who you are. There are many people who allow themselves to be forever shaped but what others have said or done to them. How sad. These people easily become approval addicts. They look to others for their self-esteem. It’s like they are saying, “Please love me, so I can love myself. Please accept me, so I can accept myself.” These people will always seem to feel a shortage of self-respect, because they never allow themselves to break free from the grip of others.
   
   

2. “Respecting yourself is to love who you are and love your personality.”

   Don’t speak badly about yourself. Don’t let your mistakes or weaknesses define who you are. Don’t say, “I’m a loser, no one loves me, I hate myself.” You will soon believe what you say. On the other hand, if you say to yourself, “I am a person worth loving and respecting,” you will start to believe it about yourself. Remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities you have to offer others. Ericka has some insight into how she has learned to respect herself. “I made friends with people like me, got rid of friends that put me down, and before I knew it, I was happier then ever before. No one can truly understand the way you think, the way you do things and act. Being different is a blessing, not a curse. So, respecting yourself is to love who you are and love your personality.”
   
   

3. “You need to get more familiar with yourself and not become something that others want you to be.”

   Don’t let anybody force you to be or do anything you don’t want to do or be, simply to gain their approval or friendship. There is an old saying that says, “To yourself, always be true.” This isn’t a me-first kind of thinking that reeks of arrogance. It means not letting other people tell you what to do or think. Cynthia agrees with Ericka that to respect yourself, you have to know who you are. “You need to know your strengths, weaknesses, and your emotions really well. You need to get more familiar with yourself and not become something that others want you to be, because that does not in any way show that you respect yourself cause you'd be willing to change just to please [others].” I agree with this, unless we’re talking about God or your parents encouraging you to be the person they see you have the potential of becoming.
   
   

4. “If you think better, you will act better. And if you act better, you will feel better.”

   Don’t violate your own moral codes. There will always be people who treat themselves with poor self-respect, because they have done disrespectful things or violated their own moral code and hate themselves for it. There is a saying among some psychologists which states, “If you think better, you will act better. And if you act better, you will feel better.” I couldn’t agree more. The opposite is also true. If you think poorly, you will act poorly. And if you act poorly, you will feel poorly. Your self-respect will be extremely low and unhappiness will be your constant companion.

Thursday, Oct 2, 2008 - 6:53:30 PM
I recently broke up with a boyfriend for lying. And that constitutes disrespect to me. I held a mirror up to my face and looked into my own eyes, red and puffy from crying. I looked into them and said out loud 'You're beautiful. You're talented. You're good. It doesn't matter that you handed your heart to someone else and they broke it. You are strong. You deserve better than someone who does not respect you enough to tell the truth. Respect YOU enough to move on. Because you do yourself a great injustice by letting what HE did hurt YOU. He was never the only one who loved you. You know better. All those people.. They respect you and love you. Now you stop crying, and you get up. And you start respecting and loving YOU.' Sorry for the length. :) it was a speech haha
- Shelby

Wednesday, Oct 1, 2008 - 8:18:03 PM
Iv'e listend d to your show about a year now and i like like to thank you for what you do and youve have helped me deal with several things, also, your most recent blog" how to respect your self" has helped thange the way i look at myself and the others around me, thank you and have a wonderful day.
- Jacob

Tuesday, Sep 30, 2008 - 10:09:13 PM
Don’t let other people’s thoughts about you shape who you are. this is one thing i can't help. i do respect myself but i take what others say bad about me and try to fix that. I also know that they might be saying that to make them selves feel good about themselves but i still feel like i should improve it. i do respect myself, and care about myself, but i care about what others think of me, more than what i think of me. Maybe that's my problem im so concirend of what others think of me i dont see what is so good about myself. its hard for me to accept myself and be okay with myself. iv been trying but more people seem to say bad things about me than good. i cant really equal it out with giving myself compliments.
- Kayla

Tuesday, Sep 30, 2008 - 8:22:04 PM
I now have realized that everyone around you is there to show you how to respect yourself. My friends are those who keep me going. They help me realize that even though you may not be the most athletic, the most attractive, or popular kid in school that you are still important to them and others around you. You have to respect what God made you. He obviously made you the way you are for a reason. And you should love you for you and not wanna be anyone else. If people love you for you then dont want to or try to be anything different. Be yourself and love yourself because you are an amzing person inside and out and never let someone tell you otherwise!
- Kay

Tuesday, Sep 30, 2008 - 12:43:46 AM
I’ve come to the realization that people act the way they due to the way they feel. I volunteer with teens around my age to help troubled teens/kids. And I’ve heard of some very bad messed up things and some times it makes people want to cry on how sad ones life can be. But when I read this blog I got a call the next day about how a girl was saying how much she hates it when people call her a sl*t of a wh*re and I told her that she needs to read this blog. When she did she called me back and she seemed a little bit changed keep in mind that this was only over a hour or so in time. She told me thank you and that she would keep reading your blogs, so I just wanted to say thanks for all you do for people in need of some one to talk to.
- Mike P

Monday, Sep 29, 2008 - 10:52:42 PM
Self-respect I think is a pride in self. To have self-respect is to take yourself for who you are. To wake up and forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. If you respect yourself you make yourself happy and do what you want to do. At the same time self-raspect is also being able to do this while not negativly affecting others. I have had small problems with respect to myself but nothing major enough to ever cause myself serious harm. Its hard to over come some self-respect issues but when your able to look in the mirror and smile and tell yourself your a beautiful person it is an amazing feeling.
- Katie

Monday, Sep 29, 2008 - 10:32:40 PM
That is so true.
- Kelsea S.

Monday, Sep 29, 2008 - 8:14:31 PM
i thank you done a good thing it has help me alot and i am happy with my self now.i now respect my self and i dont do nuthing that i dont want to do any more.i have alway been my self.but now i am me even more then befor thanks
- josh l.

Monday, Sep 29, 2008 - 1:01:57 AM
I used to practically hate myself and cut so I could feel something that seemed right, but lately I've been getting better with giving myself compliments when I do well on a test or something good and not focus on the bad things I do. If you focus on the bad actions that you've done, you cave yourself into darkness and can't see the good in life, which is what a lot of teenagers do these. When you are down, try to remember the good that you've done and not the bad because focusing on negatives thoughts leads you to nothingness in the end.
- Katie

Sunday, Sep 28, 2008 - 11:42:03 PM
ive noticed that everytime i get down on myself is when im angry...ill just let things build up inside of me until i just start tearing myself apart...then ill talk to one of my friends about it and get my anger out calmly by talking it out of my system...then i feel better about everything and have a more positive outlook on others and myself so i think a part of respecting yourself is learning how to handle your emotions without causing more problems for your self
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Sunday, Sep 28, 2008 - 9:19:39 PM
I've begun to relize the people around me who have low self-respect like i used to about my self. Whenever my friends call themselves fat or ugly it's started to get on my nerves but then i have to remember where they are coming from because i would remember when i would look in the mirror every day and just be disgusted with myself. i would always rely on people giving me compliments to make myself FEEL better. but it only did more damamage and made me rely on them more and more. I recently started to see myself in a new light when i noticed how other people have REAL problems like starvation and disease when im just complaining about having curly hair which lots of people would kill to have. i've had to start smiling at myself in the mirror and complimenting my self on the great things about me inside and out. not only that but you have to BELIEVE those things about you. and take it all a day at a time. it just keeps getting better from there as long as you remember to love yourself, for if you cannot love yourself how can you learn to love others? i think thats the way Eleanor Roosevelt put it and i believe it more and more each passing second.
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Saturday, Sep 27, 2008 - 11:21:34 PM
I agree with the comment from Lisa, GOD never makes mistakes! So as humans we have to challenge ourselves daily to be the very best we can be. The bottom line is be yourself & be true, because that's the only way you will find your true destiny. Hold on be strong and keep the real Faith, because joy comes in the morning .
- Deacon-B

Saturday, Sep 27, 2008 - 12:00:17 PM
i have listen to your show like every night and this is my fav. subject no one has been able to help me relize this before i never thought that i needed to learn to respect myself but reading this has made me relize that almost everone is lacking in this area no matter if you have thousands of friends or just one in the end everyone is looking to be excepted and nothings wrong with that but some thing is wrong if you are looking at them to tell you what your worth and i just wanted to say anyone that is ever in the place thinking im a mistake i dont deserve this god says he doesnt make mistakes and you are just who he wanted you to be
- lisa

Saturday, Sep 27, 2008 - 1:26:06 AM
I have a hard time liking myself because I judge myself alot. I am constantly plauged by my own inner suffering that I can't love myself. I sometimes wish I could see myself in the light others see but something is holding me back. Preventing me from accepting compliments and believing them true. One day I hope I can love myself and respect myself for the person I am. For the person my friends see me as.
- Stacy

Saturday, Sep 27, 2008 - 12:17:08 AM
I completely agree with what you're saying about how you should not disrespect yourself. You need to look into a mirror and honor the wonderful person you see both inside and out, from the color of your skin and the shape of your body to the love in your heart and the heart of your soul. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Know that you are a wonderful being, deserving respect from both yourself and from others. Love who you are and stand strong to your own likes and beliefs instead of becoming who you're not for the others that want to shape you with their own hands.
- Linda

Friday, Sep 26, 2008 - 10:41:35 PM
i reall want 2 respect my self but it is hard wen people put me down all the time wat should i do???????
- ashley

Friday, Sep 26, 2008 - 8:36:52 PM
Self respect is the hardest for me. I am not the skinnest of people so that cuts down on my self respect. Since I have a big chest, guys like me for that so I think I'm worthless and nothing. This resulted in self-harm. Lucky for me I haven't resulted to self-harm in almost 6 months October 1st will be when it is. I have slowly getting self respect but I know if I never had resulted to self-harm I would have never gotten help and been depressed all the time. So self-respect is really important and I wish I had more
- Nikki