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Have You Ever Heard Of Love Addiction? Part 2
Last week I talked about love addiction. I’ve never studied it before, and I am really having my eyes opened about what it is, how many people have it, and why they have it. I’m also studying the cure for it. The best book I have found on the subject is called Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody. A lot of my ideas come from her book. So in many ways, you and I are learning about this incredible, massive epidemic of an addiction together. In a way, it’s really not accurate to call this addiction a “love” addiction. Real love does not damage people at all. It should really be called a “relationship” addiction because when you get down to it, that’s what it is. It’s just easier to call it a love addiction.
I don’t know how many love addicts there are. I do know, judging from my show, Dawson McAllister Live, at least three-quarters of the calls I receive deal with relationships. And most are related to love addiction. I’ve also noticed about 80% of the love addicts I talk to are female. I don’t know why this is, but I know it’s true. Don’t quote me on this, but my best guess is at least 50% of all females under 25 (and probably more) suffer from love addiction in some way or another.
So what is a love addict? Last week we tried to define what a love addict is. The love addict obsessively and compulsively tries to relieve or medicate the deep pain in their life through romantic relationships. Once in a relationship, they feel they can’t live without the other person and will do whatever they have to do to keep the relationship going. If that doesn’t work, they panic and will do whatever they have to do to get into a new relationship.
Here’s how you can identify a love addict in a very simple way:
All love addicts are consumed with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
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Like the drug addict, the love addict spends way too much time and attention to the person they are addicted to. | All drug addicts, when they are thoroughly hooked, spend almost all their time thinking, craving, and planning to get the next high. It’s all they live for. Love addicts get their high as well, but it’s a high off another person. Like the drug addict, the love addict spends way too much time and attention to the person they are addicted to. They obsess over their partner and value them far above themselves. A love addict is totally consumed with their partner. Hilary, in her own words, gets down to the issue of what a love addict is:
“I completely change when I have a new guy- I’m overly nicer than I normally am, I bend over backwards for someone I’ve been dating for 2 days or 1 week, etc, and I do anything to make them fall for me just that much more. Once I feel them growing distant, I try that much harder. I become that clingy girl that everyone hates…But I crave love. Crave doesn’t even describe it. If I won the lottery, I would give up every last cent of it to be completely devoured by love.” (Hilary) Why is this so? What is going on inside of Hilary that would make her consumed to have any relationship? I have not talked to her, but my guess is she is terrified of being alone. No matter how bad the relationship may be, she’d rather be with any guy than to face the empty feelings of loneliness.
A girl called my radio show the other night. She said she was in love with a guy who treated her horribly. In fact, he got her pregnant, then beat her up so badly she miscarried the baby. She assured me she still loved him no matter what. I couldn’t talk her out of leaving him. Now that’s crazy. If some guy beat you up so badly it caused you to lose your baby, why would you want to go back to him? You wouldn’t, but then again you may not be a love addict. I told her she wasn’t in love. She had an addiction. She’s a tragedy, a love addict in denial. But the main reason she wants to go back to him is because she is terrified. She cannot bare being alone. How sad is that?
Love addicts look to their partner to heal their hurts. Love addicts have plenty of emotional needs. As I said, they are terrified of being alone, they have low self esteem, and crave to be
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…love addicts are so desperate to connect with another person, they are willing to lose themselves and become completely attached to their partner. | healed of their many issues. Somehow they convinced themselves their partner has the power to heal them. This is an impossible demand to be put on their boyfriend/girlfriend. How can their partner fill the deep hole in their soul and their cravings to feel loved and whole? In fact, love addicts are so desperate to connect with another person, they are willing to lose themselves and become completely attached to their partner. Psychologists have a big name for it. They call it, “enmeshment.” We become enmeshed when we use our partner to give us our identity, self worth, purpose, safety, and security. It comes when we want our boyfriend/girlfriend to provide us with a sense of being whole. Popular songs are full of phrases linked to love addiction and enmeshment. Such phrases as, “You are my life,” “I can’t live without you,” “If you leave me, I will die,” “You are my everything,” “Life would lose its meaning without you,” and “I am nothing without you.” But Cailtin explains enmeshment even better by her comment: 
“…I have been very much addicted to love. After overcoming this addiction I realize the cause. I was trying to fill the void in my own heart with what I thought was love from other people. I had many scars and hurts from as far back as my early childhood and I was trying to cover them up, rather than deal with them. There is a special place inside of you that can ONLY be touched and healed with God's love. Once you allow that to happen you will begin to see changes in every part of your life.” (Caitlin) Caitlin, like many love addicts, was asking her boyfriend to be God. She learned she was asking the impossible.
Only God can be God. Only He can fill the hole in our soul, yet there are millions of love addicts asking their partner to do something impossible for them to do.
If you are a love addict, don’t despair. We’ll talk more about your situation next week. Trust me, there is hope for you.
NEXT WEEK’S TOPIC – LOVE ADDICTION & ABANDONMENT
When you were a child, were you abandoned? How does that affect you?
Thursday, Oct 11, 2007 - 10:29:26 PM ok....here it is i have a problem with a guy named matt.. he was my first real love and i would do anything to get him back and a ex-best friend ask him out wat do i do? - emma m.
Thursday, Oct 11, 2007 - 7:32:46 PM I have a friend who is always has a bf or is always talking about guys and she basicly has control over this guy who is desspert and when she cant find a new BF she dates him and them dumps him when she finds a new guy she dumps him is that strange - Beverly
Thursday, Oct 11, 2007 - 7:32:34 PM I just wanna say that your show is great me and my husband listen to it all the time and we sit and think what would everyone think bout us because I am only 19 I will be 20 on the 13 of oct. and he is 25 we been married almost 3months and I didnt get married because I was pregnant or forced we been together almost a year and I listen to all the girls on the show talk bout how they are pregnant and everything heck I would love to be pregnant they need to understand that god has plans for everyone and when you end up pregnant its not a mistake its a blessing because there is some people that would love to be pregnant!!! - Sabrina B.
Thursday, Oct 11, 2007 - 7:31:30 PM Ive liked this boy forever and he said i will break up with my girlfriend for you but now i am thinking is he gunna do that to me if he finds another girl Please help me? and also i was on my field trip and i liked this boy named max and my mom thought he was really cool but it's like he doesn't even notice me and it's like HELLO? i was talking to you and i am very confused love and relationship problems are really hard to over come and DAWSON i want to call your show but i am to scared that my mom will look on her phone bill and be like why are you calling Dawson's show and i will be in trouble. HELP? - lexi
Wednesday, Oct 10, 2007 - 6:31:09 PM Yea i get it now. i have this guy i really really like. He is my ex boyfriend and we have been broken up for a week and a half and it just came soooo sudden.We only went out for a week. But it was such a fun week with him! Then i find out from another girl that he texted this girl saying he wanted to go out with her. Well then asked him about and he didnt text back and after awhile he did telling me he did but he was just joking. SO i said did you tell her that.He would answer me back until i asked him if he was mad at me for asking. Then out of no where he said sorry i am hurting you and i have been lying to you sorry we cant be together anymore! It really hurts to see him in my math class flirtting with other girls and he doesnt even know how much it hurt..For some reason i cant get over this guy. And i find my self wishing he would call every night. Thanks it really helped to see what was wrong and that i am not the only one going threw this. - heather
Wednesday, Oct 10, 2007 - 6:30:12 PM Hey Dawson I have a lot of trouble in life expecailly with my dad side of the family that i do not fell comfortable with i always fell left out and my aunts n uncles never want to see me unless they have work around the house my dad does not apresheate me he told me so him self he always wants me to be like ather kids he wont let me go live with my real mom. I am 14 going to b 15 november1 and i am mature so much already I can make my own choices the court papers say so. i fell so alone in this world that i want to give up already my mom side of the family is the one who are fiting to getme.I have so much pane i want to give up i am so num i cry evry single day i want to call ur show but i am afraid i need help i am at the edge of the cliff already HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP - oscarsaenz
Wednesday, Oct 10, 2007 - 11:17:03 AM I totally recognize all of these issues as I, too, was the same kind of person as a teen. I now have a step daughter who is making a terrible decision to go back to another state, leave everything that has given her a very promising career path, to go back to her love addict. They have been together for 4 1/2 years and he has broken her heart many times. They both have cheated on each other at least a couple of times. And she says all that matters is that she loves him and everything will be fine. I wish there was more we could say to her to make her see what she is leaving. Thank you. - Veronica Marshall
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 11:56:08 PM I think it happens to alot of young girls these days because more and more kids are growing up in broken homes and/or having parents who dont care otherwise..because they dont get this attachment from home they need to get it somewhere else and sometimes in the wrong place.when they get hurt they just go off to the next person will give them that love they need.its troublesome because it can escalate into sex and despair.
these type of attachments are dangerous to their self esteem and livelyhood - Emily
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 11:55:54 PM i have a love addiction to my friend we have dated before and we broke up like two weeks ago but we still kiss and hold hands like we are dating i need to stop because i think he has a girlfriend - mary c.
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 10:45:54 PM I have not ever been addicted to love but, when I had my first real boy friend, I thought I would die without him.When it finally ended I thought I was going to kill myself and just dies in hole......A couple of months later I went to church and I found out that god can heal and love you more than any guy ever can.So I incourage every one with any addiction to just seek god and he can and WILL be your everything.(Cierra) - Cierra
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 10:44:02 PM I have a question? I know its not all that related to the topic but i thought it might have some place here.Im only 15 but you must admit a lot of people dont give us enough gredit when it comes to things like this. Your talking about someone that is overly addicted to love but why is it that some people are afraid of love. I have always put myself down and been afraid to get close to guys in that way. I am a virgin and proud to state so i took a abstinance vow and plan on keeping it but and i dont think it has anything to do with it but its hard being made fun of because im afraid to get close to a guy as other than a friend. I already have people calling me things like lesbian and stuff because of it. I just dont know. - kittykat
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 10:03:51 PM well ok. i haev this friend and her name is heather. she is always needing a boy in her life and i dont know what to do.she says she is in love wiht this guy but she is only 15 and they arn't goign out anymore.
this guy really change and i think that what she is is in love with the thought of the guy she liked not the actual guy because this guy now does drugs and was pressuring her in to doing other stuff she was not comfortable with.
i think that she always needs a guy because her parents are never around they are addicted to gambaling and smoke cigarettes and are drunk alot.
they really never pay attention to her unless to yell at her. my parents have begone to call her their duaghter cuz i have her over all the time maybe to see if she sees and good family realtionship it might help her because my parents are still together and they show their love for on another.
but i dont noe what to do she has cutt her self over guys before and that is not ok adn her longest realationdhip has been mybe 2 months that is all
i really need your help i always listen to her but dont always noe what to say
please help me.
meggie - meggie
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 12:02:14 AM I dated someone for 11 months. I thought he was the won but I started to realize there was an obsession going on. In the past he had made me promise that I would not leave him EVER! He had it planned for us to get married. On top of it all, he would come crying to me whenever I simply wanted my space, because he took it as I was going to leave him. I could tell that whenever he hugged me that there was something wrong and I was becoming a god to him. If I talked to another guy he would come crying to me. He came crying to me way more than I ever cried to him. When I did cry, it had nothing to do with us. I knew something was wrong, and as hard as it was I broke things off. His parents had divorced when he was very young and his father was verbally abusive. I think that was one thing that really triggered the whole thing for him. He saw his parents marriage fall apart and it hurt him and he did not want to have to go through that in his relationships. Along with that, he also had a very poor self image and I know that played a key role in his addiction. So from personal experience those are two things that constributes to love addiction. - Katie
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 12:00:31 AM hey dawswon, i listen to your show almost all the time. i have a friend who always has to talk to a guy. it seems like she never can just breathe with out thinking about boys. she's obsessed with guys...im beginnigh to think she's love obsessed... being the only child of two controlling parents i belive is what is causing her to be this way. if you have any advice please let me know... i really think she needs help. - ashley
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2007 - 12:00:11 AM I want to thank u for your show it is the bom i call ur hope line and i fell way beter after talking to them i love your show - -
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 11:58:59 PM when i was three my dad left me and my mom and he never came back...im 16 now and my dad leaving has had a horrible impact on me...i started having sex when i was 12 because i thought the guys i had sex with "loved" me and they sorta took the place of my dad. im still struggling with relationship issues and i am addicted to love...i think that if a guy loves me and wants me that i am important...most of the time it makes relationships VERY hard and i end up thinking 'why doesnt anyone love me'?...i have even considered suicide a few times because i feel that nobody wants me anymore...im really having a hard time with all of my issues and i nolonger feel that i am worth anything...i often wonder if my dad leaving had anything to do with my addiction to guys...im seriously having a hard time with this...i hope somebody cares enough to help me through this - Amanda
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 11:58:16 PM Hi Iam a Mom of 3 children ages 21, 18 and 17. i just wanted to let you know that your show was very interesting, It was the 1st time I heard your show. What an inspiration you are for these children. I was overwhelmed by the talkshow, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. I never listen to this station due(96.5 -CLEVELAND ,OHIO) to it is my children's radio station that they listen to I usually listen to 99.5 the fish and this station happened to be on in the car while i was taking my daughter back to college. I definetly will be hearing your radio show again. - Denise
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 11:56:32 PM I was neglected at a young age, and tormented by my peers. Instead of wanting to cling to people, I became isolated and hated people and couldn't stand to be around them.
I clung to art instead. I tried to be clever and creative, and tried to validate myself that way. I used creativity as a high. I guess it just goes to show you can get addicted to anything. And just like anything else, it did not satisfy. We had a saying as artists. "It's an artists job to hate his own work."
Sure, we'd knock our brains out each time we set out to do something, but in the end, it never was satisfying. The only explaination I come up with, is the world is designed to prove God true every time. Only He has living water, able to satisfy. - Dan
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 11:53:40 PM I listened to your show a couple of nights ago and really liked it! I hope you can broadcast on HOT 99.5 more because I listen to that station every night. I'm not interested in calling your show but listening to your advice that you give to teens is really inspiring. Thank You for listening to people's problems when they have no one else to turn to! - Arielle
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 11:53:04 PM I think the whole love addiction topic is a very interesting topic. I use to have this problem well I still kind of do just not as bad anymore. I never really knew it was classified as that until I saw this. I remember from young on I was always obsessed with love. I wanted love more than anything in the world. I even subjected myself to a lot of bad treatment just to feel love. I have been used, abused, and mistreated by a lot of guys just to get it. Now I realize I brought it upon myself in some sort of sense of the way. If I wasn't so addicted to love and having it, I wouldn't of subjected myself to those things or situations. Love addiction probably also plays into toll with abuse. If you are taught that love can be abusive you will seek it. You might not willingly do it but subconsciously you wil. Love addiction could develop from the love that you lack in your life growing up as a child. I know myself I had a not so easy upbringing. I never knew my father, my family lead me to believe he was dead until I was 18. I found out 2 days before my grandmother died that my family had no clue who my father was. My mother died 10 days before my 8th birthday from brain cancer. When she became pregnant with me she had cancer, it went into remission and became active again 7 years later. Than my grandparents adopted me and I was raised by them. My grandparents were a little verbally and mentally abusive. More so my grandfather than anything. He apparently was that way with all my aunts while they were growing up. I never had a real strong male figure in my life so I always was seeking one. I guess that is why I tend to have more male friends than female friends now. But growing up the way I did, and going through all those things. I have been in a total of 7 or so abusive relationships, from 13 and on. The abuse including sexually, mentally, physically, verbally, emotionally, any kind of abuse. I have been raped twice, once when I was 15 in my backyard. Another time when I was 17 but there was date rape involved. I have also been married and in the process of a divorce. It is actually suppose to be settled on the 15th of this month. I also have a son who is almost 2 years old. Needless to say I have been threw a lot. I have had my fair share of pain, heartbreak, depression, and experiences. I know there is more to come and to life in due come. Since my husband and I seperated my eyes have opened a lot. I don't subject myself to the same treatment that I did before. I stand up for myself and fight more. I have been basically single for a year now. I have dated and I have had I guess you could call relationships that didn't last past 2 weeks. Mainly because of my descions. I am so intolerable to certain things now. I refuse to let a guy walk all over me, take control of me, and talk down to me. I have a huge guard up now and I barely let anyone in. I'll let a person get to know me and what not. But my deep down inside emotions and feelings that I hold, they will never see. I feel as though it is a good self defense mechanism but at the same time it makes it so much harder for me to date. It makes it harder for me to find someone to be with. At the same time I have protected myself, my son, and my heart from being hurt and walked over. I have avoided a lot of relationships. Is this healthy that I do this or am I hurting myself in the long run being so guarded? - Lindsey P.
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 11:48:07 PM so im kind of stuck in a situation i dont really see any way getting out. i was recently pregnant and kicked out of my house because i refused to have an abortion. well i ended up moving in with a crazy friend 2 hours away from everyone. my b/f couldnt take me in and we were lookin at him not being in my life becuase i was pregnant. i kept geting calls from my family to just have the abortion and move back home. but i didnt want to. so finally i my bf calls me and promises me the world that he will marry me the day after if i get the abortion. well of course right after i get the abortion he asks me for my ring back. but part of why he did this was bc my mother told him he was the only one i would listen to and do what ever it took. not to mention she was calling and harrassing him and his family. we are still together. i love him but not to sure if i want to be with him. but bc of my family situation i need to move out and i cant do it by myself. my family refuses to help me. and i cant bare to live there with all the fighting and abuse. so i feel i have no out unless i move in with my bf or die. - chelsea
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 12:46:21 AM i would just like to say thank you! your show is awesome... i was coming home from work and was listening in and it really mad me think about some stuff ive had on my mind. i havent got to call in yet..and dont know if i will be able to but i did get your website off one of your shows and so far its helping too... once again i would like to thank you for taking the time to listen to the people who have problems when other people wouldn't -Hollie- - Hollie
Monday, Oct 8, 2007 - 12:03:11 AM i believe i am adicted to love. i feel this way because i truly need someone there. i need someone to love me so that i know i'm worth something. - cassie m.
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 10:51:35 PM this more of a cry then a comment, but i know there is more to life then the love and need for your partener. To have them playing god is too much to ask. i know because i did the same and now he has hurt me and left. This was going to happen anyway, my mother left me and i leaned too much on him causing the stress on his shoulders. I dont blame him for leaving, but he said hurt and ill never get over that. I admit at 14 that it was wrong and i am a "love" addict. For those who seek something more and personal need to find it within them selves. Address the problem and take time to heal, if you dont it could be worse and you could loose everything plus more.
sincerly,
a healing addiction - Tori P
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 10:38:24 PM i am going out with this guy and i luv this other guy but i don't want to hurt anyone or there heart. yes i believe that there is love addiction because i am there and i am living it. - Billie S.
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 10:22:53 PM Went out with this girl while she was "in an off period" with her current bf. Went out a couple times, nothign happened. A year later we catch up and end up going out to dinner again...as per her request but my efforts. So we started getting close pretty quickly...I was staying at her place and she at mine. We both live with out parents so it was when they were away. So we were basically really close and it appeared everything was going great. We were doing a lot of stuff together and having just a great time. I feel like i could totally be myself around her. So we were both busy and she went away and we ened up not talking to much for a couple weeks. Then the next time we hung out she was like I don't want you to expect a relationship but what we have and where we were at was good, so I said ok. So over the next following weeks I didn't see her and she went back to school taking a ridiculous classload and involved in mutliple extracirricular clubs. So we spoke once and she said she was "swamped with school". So I ask, are you sure there isn't anything on your mind? And she says nope, just busy with school. So meanwhile we Haven't spoke in at least a month and I called her on her birthday a little bit ago and she didnt answer, I left a voicemail, didn't hear back. I really like this girl, unlike anyone else ever. She is amazing in every way....intelligent, funny, just all around amazing...so I am just trying to either see her how I was...or understand why we dont see each other anymore. She was honest before....if it isn't school (for some reason I don't think it is school, although she does have a very big classload)...then what is it. I need to know what it is if this wil never work out. I cannot stop thinking about this girl and it's really bad. - Mike S.
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 9:00:40 PM I think for the most part people become love addicts because they are missing something inside a part of them. And that thing they are missing is the love of God. For the longest time I felt like I was addicted to love but I realised it was just lust. Also I was longing for the love that my father never gave me growing up and I longed to be loved and I feel that is so true for so many girls or women today.
- Tiffany
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 8:59:42 PM Dear Dawson, when I was younger my dad was an alcoholic and he barely spent any of his time sober and he spent more time at the bars than he did home and when he wasnt at the bars he was at some other girls house. He would take my moms paycheck and go spend it on beer money when she needed it for diapers and food for me. But he didnt care so for many months I had to live on crackers. And me and my mom relied on my grandparents to keep us going. Finally my mom after leaving him a couple times told him that it was the alchol or her and me and he chose to live the life of being an alcoholic and he left me when I was 3 years old. I remember begging him so many times to stop drinking so he wouldnt have to leave me. But my begging and pleading was never apparently enough. He was my world and my hero and I looked up to him even though now looking back I dont know why but he was my father and I loved him and I still do and I dont ever get to see him or speak to him but I hope he knows that he really has hurt me and I miss him and not a day goes by that I dont think of him and I wonder why he chose to live a life of alcohol instead of be with me. I'll never understand. He'll never understand that when I was younger I never had him there by my side to teach me to swim or ride my bike I had to teach myself. Its been a long road and Ive come along way. I just want him to know where ever hes at and what ever hes doing my thoughts are with him and I love him. All my love Dawson,
Your loyal lister & a big fan
Brittney D. - Brittney D.
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 8:55:07 PM ummm....i hate to say this dawson but some of this is not true.....like the part where it says "i cant live without you" and stuff like that,guy and girls say those things to be sweet not obsesive.i mean u cant tell me u have never told a girl/woman that u really like that they are ur everything and that u couldnt live without them.....u can not honesty say that....everyone and i mean EVERYONE has said that more then 1 time in they're life time.other wise everything else seems reasonable in this blog
~deanna~ - deanna
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 6:10:39 PM I wasn't abandoned in the sense that anyone physically walked out on me, it was more of emotional abandonment. I know it's not the same thing, but it hurts just as bad.
Both of my parents were very self involved, my mom with her career, and my dad with his own pleasures. After my youngest brother was born, they became very absent in my life. My grandmother ended up virtually raising us until we moved when I was 14.
My mom said the words 'I love you' from time to time, but they seemed empty, there was no feeling behind it. It was like they were forced out of her. My dad, he never said those words, his was more through gifts. Instead of saying the words, he'd buy us things and then disappear to do whatever it is he felt like doing.
It's hard dealing with it even now, they haven't really changed. They seem more like old friends than family now.
To this day I can't get close to anyone emotionally. I tend to keep people emotionally separate from myself so I don't have to deal with feelings of abandonment if it came down to it. At the same time I tend to keep people close physically, and get very anxious if there isn't someone close by.
I know what I've dealt with doesn't compare to those who have had a parent actually walk out the door and leave them, but it's another type of abandonment that most people don't think of. - Jayda
Sunday, Oct 7, 2007 - 2:37:03 PM heyy there ok I'm starting to feel not welcomed into my own family because my step-dad is always meaan to me, my own step-brothers Adam and Robert never have time to see or talk to me because they think that I'm still the old Brooklynn where I was annoying and I've really changed just to make them happy and trying to get them to like me even if it is the smallest amount hey atleast they would like me, but Adam tells me to go away even though I'm no where near him and he knows that it ticks me off, he tells me alll the time "go away, why are you here, noone likes you shut up" and I won't even talk to him because of that and he always tells me that just to annoy me and yes it does work I walk away from him and then he still says it and I've told my mom about it and she just tells me to ignore him anD I can't. I also try to talk to him and he doesn't even care he only laughs or smiles when my sister Tabby makes him laugh and I try to make him laugh, but sometimes I feel like he's not happy with who I've become and he wants me to be more like Tabby and I've tried to be more like Tabby and I don't really know how to be more like her. I really help on how to get my step-dad to lke me even if it is the smallest amount I wouldn't care. Thank you for helping me and others. Your the awsomeness!!!!-Brooklynn:-) - Brooklynn P.
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 11:28:24 PM my brother the 2nd youngest were close befor he became a teen, left to be a drug dealer
my brother the oldest left to be with his girlfriend when we were begining to become close
my mom has always been busy with the rest of the family and in this became absent minded and forgets me often
my dad favors time with his friends over time with his family though he makes time for his sons I had to tell him I was 17 not 15
I am the youngest
my father was left at friends homes days at a time by my grandma so she could party and grandpa was never home to know
my mother was left to mother her brothers and sisters so gran could find another step dad
brother 1 and 2 live else where
mom, dad, and I live at home
dad and mom sleep in diffrent rooms they have adandoned each other
those who have been abandoned do not see when they are abandoning some one else
I don't let myself become close to those around me so it won`t hurt when they leave - Lauren
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 11:01:30 PM Heyy there ... ok well I think that you are just the awsomeness person alive and I think that eeryone needs to have someone like you in there lives. anyway I think love addiction is that where you date 1 person and go beck to another in an second you date someone just to get to another guy and that is just very wrong, see I know that I can survive without a man, but most people don't understand that they can't live witout one another. The advice that I give to alot of people is that(YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO HOLD YOU UP YOU NEED YOUR STRENGHT.) And alot of people take it, but they go right to another guy and I can't stand it @ all I think that's why I hate myself alot of the time, but how do you handle stuff like that because I know somewhat how, but how do you get people to listen to you so well??? Anyway thank you so much for listening I really appreciate it!!!!:-)!!! - Brooklynn P.
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 8:45:29 PM when i was little my mom and dad always abandoned my sisters and i but our family friends always took them in but they didnt want all 3 of us i always got left out because i was the outgoing one. and shortly after that my parents got divorced it was hard on me because i was the closet one to my dad so it hurt real bad. -
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 8:00:45 PM He would stand at the door and yell so loud that I had to cover my ears because all they did was ring. I could hardly make out a single word that was said and he was gone. A last minute attempt to beg him to stay after all was said and done never worked, not one time. After the first few times, his heart left with him and only his physical body ever returned. My father never came back, only a man with a similar appearance to him. I then set out on a search for the love that man once had to offer me. - Sarah
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 4:51:21 PM I consider myself a love addict as you say... because i just really need.. that connection of closeness i think its true that i am willing to lose myself in it because well.. its important to me to feel love..Anyhow Love your show and thought id comment peace ~Signed:Daniel L.~
~Best wishes to you be well~ - Daniel L.
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 9:40:49 AM I am a love addict myself, I have been dating this guy for two years a four months off and on.I am always obbsessing over him, thinking about him, I miss him everytime he isnt with me, when I know he is lieing, I put it in the back of my mind and believe everything he tells me, I do anything and everything it takes to keep him in my life, I over obbsess. My older brother tells me he is my drug and that I will never quit him. My mom and family sees the tears he brings to me everytime we break up over the stupidest crap, and yet I still want him with everything I have. He swears up and down on anything and everything that he loves me, but there is still that doubt in my mind that he does. Everytime we break up, I break down, Im texting him every two seconds begging him to take me back, calling him, crying till I cant breath, attempting suiside, sometimes its even so bad that I cant even go to school because I know that just seeing him will make me cry and kill myself. Most of the time we are back together within the next two days, but sometimes I wonder if he really wants to be or if he doesnt want to listen to me. I do anything for him, I quit going to church because he doesnt like the guys that go there, I dont go anywhere with my friends unless he approves, and if he doesnt then I stay home, if one of my guy friends try and talk to me then I just blow them off and if they call me I dont answer. My boyfriend finds out everything and turns it all into a bigger problem then it really is. Just last week I went to Carls Jr. with my older brother and he got mad at me cuz I didnt call him and tell him where I was going. I live in fear of my life and my friends because im more concernd and worried about what he will think more then what I will think or anybody else. I put myself through hell for him, I make my life miserable. I have attempted suicide over 30 times because of the way he makes me feel about myself. Everytime we break up I always take the blame and put it all on me, some how he makes me feel like every little wrong thing in our relationship is my fault. I love him more then words can say, and I dont even believe that he is faithfull to me or honest with me. I slapped my best friend in the face for something she told me about him and another girl because I believed him over her, and he ended up being the one lieing to me for over a year and a half, thats more then half our relationship. I just need help. I dont want him out of my life, what I really want is to know what the hell to do. I go through all this crap and put my heart on the line over and over again for him, because I feel like that if I dont have him in my life that there is no reason to live I have the cuts, bruses and scars to prove it. Im only 15 years old. - Brittanie
Saturday, Oct 6, 2007 - 12:45:15 AM hey dawson how u doing
well i need to talk to u my life is kinda a disaster
well lets see it is my mom sied of the famly is killing me and i need someone to talk too so plz email me so i can talk - christian
Friday, Oct 5, 2007 - 8:50:47 PM ok so people may think that they fall in love and do they truley know that they aren't u never know at all. like me i tghout that i was in love and i turned out to be wrong. lov eis like another drug like that new drug cheese for example ohh people think that cheese puts u in a good mood well love puts u in a good mood until u found out wat really happens like on drugs u get caought u get sent to jasil and have at least like up to 2 years in juvinelle for teens and more than that in big jasil so like love u think u are u get a divorce because things didnt work out and then u have to pay alot of money. what drugs and love have in common is trouble it gets u in notin but trouble!!! - krystia
Friday, Oct 5, 2007 - 8:50:03 PM i've had a love addiction. i love this guy name darrell. he and i used to be boyfriend and girlfriend. but since i had found out that he's cheatiing on me it seems like i can't get away from him - alice
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