• Calling names and making negative comparisons to others
• Constantly telling someone he or she is “no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake"
• Yelling, threatening, or bullying --Ignoring or rejecting someone, giving him or her the silent treatment
• Witnessing acts that cause a feeling of helplessness and horror, such as domestic violence or watching another sibling or pet be abused

Friday, Dec 5, 2008 - 2:32:23 AM
I was raised by a father that has PTSD from Vietnam. He had it so bad he would hit me and my mother. He had a stick he had by the fireplace and would beat me with it if I did not feed the ducks, water the strawberries, feed the dog...normal farm chores. I never realised how much this impacted me!! I am 24 now...when I was 18 I met a wonderful man. We will call him Anthony. I loved him and he loved me. After 3 years he bought a house. We lived in it. When he got mad and yelled at me I would see red. I would throw things, punch him or even spit on him. He also became this way! I belive we brought out the worst in one another. I belive now after getting away from it all he and I both decided to split. That was the best thing for us. Now im scared that this will happen again. Dont think that I will hurt anyone, but I didnt belive I would hurt him either. I have no clue where I am going or what. But I belive I am going to be single for the rest of my life, because im so scared.
- Brooke

Thursday, Dec 4, 2008 - 8:17:10 PM
In my freshman year of highschool i had my first boyfriend. He was my best friend and we fell in love. He treated me like a queen...at first. We were together for 10 monthsl. But the last 5 months were bad!!! He would hit me if i angered him,and call me a wh*re,or a b*tch if i wouldn't have sex with him. I lost my virginity at 15 to this boy and i regret it. He would get drunk and want me to kiss and have sex with his friends in front of him! And all that time,i really did believe that what he would call me was true. But it's now two years later,and i know that i'm none of those things that he would call me. ~Chrissie
- Chrissie

Thursday, Dec 4, 2008 - 8:12:12 PM
well I recetly started hanging out with my mom's best friend's son...Kyle...his mom has an alcohal problem and she is just not a happy person when she is drunk..So one night I was hanin with him in his room and hse comes in an starts yelling at him saying how worthless he is and how much he makes her sick..of course she would never say these things when she was sober..but I once heard that people say wat they truley mean when they are under the influence.If this is true then I feel even more sorry for him than I already did. I was sitting there through all of this and I was in shock. I had neve seen this side of her before. I wanting to yell at her for him, but all I could do was sit there because she was scareing me so bad, she left the roo mand cam eback with a knife and said that he should just kill her because looking at him made her sick to her stomach. This is not normal.I felt so horrible and I feel guilty becaus eI couldn't say anything to her.
- Codyann

Tuesday, Dec 2, 2008 - 11:09:20 PM
both of my parents have mental issues. My father has OCD and anxiety and he's very paranoid. My mother is bipolar and depressed. Both of them refuse to get medical help and counseling. I feel like my childhood was robbed. I feel empty a lot. Its hard to fill that emptimess because I can see how everyone else has nice and loving parents, and I wish that I had that. They say they love me, but they are constantly calling me names and making me feel like I'm worthless. They tell me I can't do anything right, and that's why I have a hard time making decisions But, I've learned not to let other people control my happiness. I choose not to live my life sad I hope you all can find it in yourselves to live that way too because I know its changed my life. godbless you all
- michelle

Tuesday, Dec 2, 2008 - 7:59:49 PM
I have a situation. Maybe you'll read it here & can help or give me advise. BOTH of my parents have addictions. My dad smokes weed and is an alcholic. My mom takes all sorts of precripsion pills & is beginging to drink more often. BOTH smoke cigs. & do cocaine. I'm 19 yrs old. I dont have a license, i'm a drop-out, & I have no job. All their money goes to their habits. :( I need to go to the dentist (middle school was the last time I had went), dont remember going to the doctor for just a check-up, & I was broken out for a MONTH before my parents even "got the time" to take me to the hospital last week... I never go ANYWHERE outside my trailor park, we dont communicate. I'v tried talking to them about the way they treat me. They say its my fault I dont have a job & everything that has happened I put on myself since i'm over 18 I should just magically be able to do it all on my own. I should just be able to get my friends to take me everywhere, & pay for my meals. I get one meal a day fixed for me (dinner), a place to sleep, & a place to bathe. Thats all they support for me. Is this abuse? Or is it not b.c im over 18?
- Steph

Tuesday, Dec 2, 2008 - 1:51:16 AM
hey i know that this is just a comment but i fel like this poblem is like glued to me! okay here i go! Ever since i was like 6 years old I've had thid kid who likes me. and know im in 5th grade and i like him know! but know that i like him he hates me! So he moved on to a different girl like we are just toys to him! i think that he still likes e a little bit! but he is like one of the hard to tell boys if you know what i mean. so my point is that when i listen to your show i always hope that it will have sothing about girls and love in the 5th grade! oh and the girl that he likes know used to hate him but know that he is like stalking her she is starting to like him! she used to like another boy, but he made a bet with the guy that likes her about who could like her the longest! one doy i wanted to just tell both of htem to SHUT UP and then slp them both over thier shamless faces! it just hurts me how people do that to each other! i hope no one elese EVER gets played like me because it hurt when you get tricked into likeing someone but when you finnaly start likeing them they just through you away like a old toy ar rotton food! that should be stopped! oh and my teacher know and she just reads us books about it hoping that she wont have to talk to them! but it isnt working! i really wish that i could call D.M. but i would like totally get into trouble! the only other person who know all my serecrets is my bff's annika, sheyeing and my bff maddliene! HELP!
- Sydney

Monday, Dec 1, 2008 - 11:15:30 PM
WOW!! Lets see ever since i was young my dad has been an alcoholic. He would come home every night and get drunk... I Guess i always wanted to know why. When he got drunk he yelled, and screamed and told me that i was nothing, made me feel like i couldn't do anything with my life. Now My Mom threatened to leave, she took all the alcohol out of the house. My dad of course was not happy with this at all.... but since then he has stopped drinking, and yelling, and things are starting to look up. So i would just like to say that from experience that It may seem bad, and that it is never going to get worse but it started looking up for me why couldn't it happen to anyone else?
- Donelle

Monday, Dec 1, 2008 - 7:20:39 PM
i think that a lot of these people saying this just trys to make people or their kids feel the sameway that they did as a kid.
- Samantha

Monday, Dec 1, 2008 - 3:22:46 AM
My daughter was cleaning her room tonight and I over heard her radio with your talk show and found it very interesting and listening to others tell there stories and hearing your advice. Amazing how just a few nights ago I was praying and asked how am I to tell my storie and in hopes that maybe I might help someone else that understand the path of my life. Some would say its a miracle, I often hear how did you survive? How did you turn out to be so caring and loving? How do you cope? Ect... I'm 42 yrs of age and have found that when I thought I was alone as a child I have sense realized that it was God that carried me though it. I am the second to the youngest of 5 kids, my mother had married 15 times and I have to say that all step father was never abusive to me nor my siblings. I was adopted at the age 3 months by one of my mothers ex husbands and learned at the age 8 of this adoption. My grandma had basically raised me and my siblings and growing up was a very hard task for me and watching what my siblings had to over come as well. We all 5 kids faced many fears of abuse, to which 3 of my siblings are still wrapped up in the cycles of abuse in they're lives. I myself still face many triggers that often set me into low self esteem, and not worthy of who I am until I find strenght to over come memories and lean on my faith of our high power. It tears me inside to know that other children are having to face this abuse from someone that is to be trusted. This is how the heart feels what the eyes can not see. I will continue to pray for everyone that they will find the faith in our father above that it is possible to find safety in they're hearts. Reaching out to others, Praying that others that face any abuse will tell someone, Praying they know they truly are not alone. Together we stand and truly the only way we can make a difference in the heart and eyes of a child.. Tan
- Tandra

Monday, Dec 1, 2008 - 12:41:29 AM
hey i just wanted 2 say i listen 2 your brodcast all the time n it helps me n u r doing a great job so ty
- jake

Monday, Dec 1, 2008 - 12:22:25 AM
i've personally been through all kinds of abuse. physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, mental, u name it, i've probably experienced it. in the end, the only person u really have is yourself, u gotta learn to stand up for yourself. after 18 years of all of this, (including self abuse...[like cutting, suicide, eating disorders, stuff like that]) i've learned that thats pretty much all u CAN do, stick up for yourself, and/or figure out a way to get out of there. that's what i did, and now my life is better...completely better. so that's my advice, find a good healthy way out as soon as you can. nobody deserves to be abused in any kind of way.
- kari

Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 - 11:31:39 PM
My dad physically abused my mom during their 10 years of marriage. They got divorced when I was three, so I don't remember much of it. But in the years after, my mom seemed to lash out at her children, especially my oldest sister. She would hold her down and get really frighteningly physical whenever my sister did something wrong. My sister was going through a rough time and making bad choices, but it seemed like my mom didn't want to help at all and only liked to get angry. Meanwhile, my dad left and wasn't around for most of my childhood. He would come back for short periods, then leave for years without a reasonable explanation. He now lives in Canada, and I talk to him sometimes. He claims he had to leave the US because of racism and other things, but I always feel like I simply have a father who doesn't care. I suffer from low self-esteem, and somehow, I feel as though I don't have a right to be upset about anything. I know deep down that I have a neglectful father and emotionally/semi-physically abusive mother. I know I suffer as a result of my parents, and it's difficult for me to believe that anyone loves me or cares about me. I hate facing this reality because it makes me super depressed, which makes it hard to get over the whole thing. I don't know what to do and I'm very confused.
- Sophie

Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 - 9:54:46 PM
I have never had a good relationship with my parents. I watched my mother get beat when I was child, up until I was almost 15 years old. Then she finally divorced her husband. She has always had a short temper and yells at us for almost anything. I have been called every foul name in the english language and I somewhat resent her for the things she has said and done and the positions she put herself in with men. I had to watch it and it traumatized me for life. I don not think I will ever truly trust a man because of the relationships my mother has had and the constant yelling makes me feel like I am good for nothing and will never be good enough. I struggle with my confidence every waking moment of my life. I am even scared to have children because I do not want to treat them like I was treated. I wish parents could just realize the effects they have on their childrens lives.
- samantha

Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 - 9:16:36 PM
I am being emotionall abused and I was physically by my brother who is younger than me.
- Casey

Sunday, Nov 30, 2008 - 8:45:26 PM
At WHHS, abuse is common every moment of the day. Everybody is always critical of something and they want an outlet. Whether it is calling someone a Homo or telling them their opinion does not matter when the teacher calls on them, it is there. And it is not just at my school. This happens across thousands of districts every day. Often there is little retribution, but when there is, it is often not pretty. It is not just the students; the faculty Admin paints a target on certain students based upon what they have heard from the other schools. Once that happens, it is hard to get rid of that bulls-eye. Abusers want an easy target, not one that gets fed up and fights back. Many times, retribution is the only thing an abuser understands. I only use it as a last resort, and I find that it works best.
- Matt S

Saturday, Nov 29, 2008 - 9:48:45 PM
i was abused by someone i thought was my friend and thats the worst betrayal ever at first i kept it to myself thinking it was all my fault but one day i broke down to my best friend talking about it helped me so much and i was afraid to face the guy but my friend came with me when i did its always best to have a friend with u so u wont be a scared my friend yelled at the guy and reported him
- samantha

Friday, Nov 28, 2008 - 6:31:23 PM
I can relate to this blog, everytime I come home from school my parents always remind me about my simple mistakes I have made in the past, they use it as an excuse if there fustrated to tell me how worthless I am, how ugly I am, I'm never going to have....etc. I realalize if I do something wrong I end up thinking like them for example when I didn't pass a test I ended up repeating some of the sentences my parents were useing and I don't realize it till later. so when my parents arnt around I end up bringing myself down. After reading this blog I have found a way of escapeing from my parents, reading books, joining school clubs, helping out my comunity, but I wounder, If you meantion that "its not our falt" how isnt it? We grew up with them, that means they know us better, so what they are saying is true right? don't we deserve what we are being told?
- Ashley Q.

Friday, Nov 28, 2008 - 2:25:19 AM
Verbal abuse is what i put up with for a long time in my house! When you come home and you get told how fat and ugly you are or how you will never be anything or maybe when your mom says she dont want you and never will! This hurts more then physical or sexual and i can say that i been through it all!
- Samatha

Wednesday, Nov 26, 2008 - 9:57:29 PM
thanks jodie mine and your situation is almost the same my parents are not geting a divorse but theu came super close to it this is a promblem i've had to dill with my mom things are fine with her but then it was my dad everything with abuse in words stays with a person though i'm not have to dill with it now i 'm living with my grandparents with my mom and little sister and i'm still have to go through the feelings of the words that was said to me and everything that they have caused i'm not being abused any more but the feeling of it will never go away
- KIM

Wednesday, Nov 26, 2008 - 8:16:40 PM
hey dawson!!! omg i totally agree with youre blog because i myself am going through some pretty tough time right now with school,guys,an family.... i fell worthless at times..my family never respects me at all there always treating me like if im a piece of s***... and i hate i cant take it anymore .... ive gotting into cutting myself and trying to commit sucide...but it aint working......thanks you...keep up with these awesome blogs -karina
- karina.o

Tuesday, Nov 25, 2008 - 11:45:03 PM
Yes, Abuse is a very bad thing to go through. I have been mentaly, emotionaly, sexual abuse in my life. And I still go through types of abuse now. I am trying to get heals. I just lead on to God. I do blame myself for everything. I did cut myself for years and I been clean almost 13 months now but cut once in that time period. It's not easy thing to go through. I wish it would never happen to anyone but we can't stop... It all around us... all the time....
- Ashley

Tuesday, Nov 25, 2008 - 8:33:02 PM
Hey, Dawson! Okay. So my mom has verbally/ emotionally..mast up my life. I was adopted at 3. Days old..when I was 6 yes old my mom started to emotionally Abusing me. I have 10 brother and sisters..it seem like she doesn't like us.. See 7 of us are adopted and she says things like " stay away from MY family" or" I wish I didn't get you all" if we do something wrong. And we have 60 dogs to take care of but she makes us take care of them. I'm only 16yrs old now. And she says things that really hurt me..sometimes I go to my room and "Cry" and ask god why am I hear. And I try to stay away from people when she does that..and go to my room and paint it gets ny mind off of things. I just don't know what to do. Can you help me? -Joy S.
- Joy S.

Tuesday, Nov 25, 2008 - 2:16:52 AM
a person who i thought was my fiend and i got in a fight and before the fight i ahd tod her one secret that i thooght she would never tell but then she just helled it out in front of all my friends and now everyone knows and shes been dissing my friend and family. what did i do to here? i need to know but she want tell me...... how could i possibly maybe at least stop fighting with her.and mabe rebecome friends with her?
- Emily

Monday, Nov 24, 2008 - 11:29:35 PM
I am glad to see you touch on this subject, let me just say that I have been through it all Verbal/emotional, physically and sexual abuse all throughout my childhood... I was Verbal/emotional and physically abused by my mother the one person that is suppose to love you no matter what only broke me down… I am now 22 years old and am still suffering from my past every day, I find it getting better it really helps to realize that verbal/emotional is not your fault. I also want to touch on the subject of the cycle, I moved out from my mom’s at a young age and married at 18 we are now divorced and I found myself in the same predicament as my childhood, I had to get out... Verbal/Emotional Abuse can have lasting effects and it’s important to realize it and get yourself out of the situation and stay away and know that you are a child of God and you are not what others say or make you feel. Life is about experiences and you can learn from it and build yourself up… you are in this life what you make yourself not what others tear you down to be... Keep up the good work… thank you
- Katie

Monday, Nov 24, 2008 - 10:10:00 PM
okay, so no matter what i do i get flipped out on and put down. i always mess up. and now i have noone who truly loves me.
- lola

Sunday, Nov 23, 2008 - 11:33:50 PM
my boyfriends father never says more than a sentence or two to him sometimes. once my boyfriend stood out in the cold for 2 hours before walikng to my house. he couldnt get ahold of his father till 3am! i worry the emotional impact this is having on him. anytime i ask him to go somewhere he says sure my dad doesnt care. can mu love make up for the love his father doesnt show him??
-

Sunday, Nov 23, 2008 - 10:54:11 PM
reading this is so encouraging, but i disagree with jodi when she says "Count on yuor friends to be there for you" haha, YEAH RIGHT. i cudnt count on any of my friends to be there for me. count on NO ONE to be there for you is how it has been for me. ive had very little support from my friends going through a rough time. its so hard. really.
- emily

Sunday, Nov 23, 2008 - 9:46:06 PM
i am emotionally/verbally abused. by EVERYONE. i need help of how to deal
- lorelei

Sunday, Nov 23, 2008 - 8:03:21 PM
I'm glad you made this blog on verbal/emotional abuse Dawson. My father has emotionally abused me all my life. He kept me isolated, called me names, constantly yelled at me, and always made me feel inadequate. I lived in fear of him because he would always threaten me. I am 17 now and no longer live with him, yet I still suffer from the affects of his abuse. I have trouble forming relationships with people and I am always told that I am too hard on myself. He's warped my way of thinking so much that I have to force myself to be social or to think positive things about myself. I even became very depressed and suicidal at one point. It's definitely a struggle, but with other family members' support, I am getting better.
- Olivia

Sunday, Nov 23, 2008 - 6:59:32 PM
My parents were the worst at verbal and emotional abuse. They would tell me that I was fat and needed to loose weight, that I wouldnt amount to anything in my life, I never did anything right. I ended up hating life, and I went into a deep depression. I was cutting my self every night and crying myself to sleep hoping I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I tried drowning myself in the bath tub but I freaked out. They just really got under my skin and made me feel like I was nothing. The people I work with were more like my family than my own. My parents have gotten better since my best friend moved in with us. I guess they dont wanna put me down in front of anybody.
- Brandy

Sunday, Nov 23, 2008 - 2:57:49 AM
I was happy to see that there was finally a blog over this becuase in a weird way I am verbally/emotionally abused. But it use to be my family and now it's my softball coach. I am know depressed and the only people who will accept it are my teachers at school and friends. My parents are wondering why my grades are going down and they won't listen when I say I'm depressed. They keep pushing me. My coach told me I'm not made right. He is just always screaming at me. He hates me. And says how much he misses Muskogee. But this blog was very helpful. I don't blame myself but don't know hoe to cope with. Bye.
- Alecia

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008 - 11:55:04 PM
this has really helped me I have been abused by this guy at school just emotionally not physical but like when im single he loves me and when i finnaly am happy with someone he just makes me feel like crap and when were together we fight and he always makes me feel like im worthless and cant do better then him all my friends know how he treats me an i even told my dad and he told my mom but im not sure they know how bad it is but ive finnaly moved on with another boy and im slowly being able to cope with the severe depression he has caused me
- Hannah

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008 - 9:47:16 PM
i have had many different types of abuse in my life and agree that verbal and emotional are the worst.What about manipulation/control? Almost like being trained to act acceptable to that abusive person. they want to change you to fit their mold.
- Jennifer F.

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008 - 7:30:52 PM
Hey Thank you for your blog. I saw it at just the right time. I don't know what I should write one here, but i'll just tell you my story even though im sure u've heard about the same one over and over. I know this is mean, but if i could make my dad disappear ...i would. He honestly complains everytime i want to do something. He says school is worthless, (which i dont believe) and this morning he told me I should get my head examined. I know i dont have to i think im smart. He does the same thing to my brothers. Like all waht you mentioned in your blog he does to my 4 older brothers 3 of which are not at home anymore. But im 16 now almost 17 and i want to leave my house. REALLY!! I cant help but cry even when he is yelling at my brother. Sometimes i want to just end it all, that way i woun't have to listen to him. I really could rant forever, but i hate thinking about all this stuff. So thank you for reading this, and please help me. I know im a good kid i dont do any drugs anything like that im a farm girl...please help....thanks.
- Miranda

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008 - 4:55:58 PM
My parents say some pretty mean things to me; my mom throws the insults, and my dad shoots the guilt. They're both really sarcastic with me. I've asked my dad why the sarcasm has to happen and he said it's an effective way of getting me to listen and do things. My heart was screaming that this method was wrong. In 7th and 8th grade I used to get the barrel-end of my mother's rages so often that I honestly couldn't tell the difference between being at home and being at school ((I was picked on by other kids in those years)). My dad, a Navy officer then, was often on sea-duty and would be gone for 2-3 weeks at a time. I welcomed these absences, because that meant one less person's yelling to deal with. I never talked to my dad about my problems, and the one time I tried to tell my mom that people at school where calling me fat and picking on me, she blew it right back in my face and quoted someone in a way I'd rather not repeat. It was at that moment I decided that adults just didn't give a rat's behind about the feelings of teens and that talking was completely useless. I tried to make myself the strongest person I could be by building the strongest wall I could around my heart. I devoted myself to listening to everyone else's problems and helping them out as much as I could. I bottled up my own problems for about 5 years, refusing to talk about my life's issues to anyone and especially refusing to cry. I wanted to be the shoulder people could cry on and the one who never needed a shoulder herself. It was a terrible weight on my heart, and I didn't realize just how terrible that weight truly was until I gave it up by telling someone about everything I'd gone through. I thank God for my youth pastor everyday for teaching me that it's fine to trust someone and open up to them. I would pass that advice along to anyone who asked me; find someone you can trust ask them to help you. Better yet, ask God to help you. Even when I was at the bottom of my Sonic cup, when I felt like no one in this world could possibly care, I often felt the presence of the one who would love me and care about me no matter what. I truly believe He was the one who kept my sense of hope unbroken, that He directed my heart to go help people instead of giving up. I thank God for my life and the lives of the people that I'm involved with helping, and the lives of the people who support me, encourage me, and just keep me going.
- Courtney L.

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008 - 2:36:33 PM
This blog was very helpful to me, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. For longer than I can remember people around me have compared me to my older brother. And from the time I turned 13 until now he has verbally cut me down at any chance he got. He consistently told me I was fat and, ugly, and a myriad of other things. I felt I would never be good enough, I would never be as good as him and my parents would think so to. After hearing I was fat for so long[even thought I was not] I developed anorexia nervosa, and have struggled with it for the passed 4 years. It is the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my entire life. But I found that the experience has made me so much more compassionate and empathetic to other people. During the earlier parts of the abuse I completely shut myself off from other people, but now that I've found my hope in Jesus Christ I talk to everyone around me, and share the love of Christ with them in as many ways as I can. That way, even if they are being abused too without me knowing, they still know they have someone that loves them, that they can go to, even if all they need is a hug.
- Emily

Saturday, Nov 22, 2008 - 2:15:01 AM
As I read through this verbal/emotional abuse blog, I found myself in tears. Nobody likes to be put down, whether hearing it everyday or hearing it just once. I am 16 years old and I've been emotionally abused by my family for 5 years, enough to get me in the habit of self-cutting. Emotional abuse is definitely not a fun thing to go through because it really does bring a person down and shatter their soul. Sometimes, words hurt much more than sticks and stones. But never forget; there is always hope. Talk to someone because if you keep it bottled up inside you, all it will do is slowly harm you more. I learned that the hard way. You have friends and family that care about you, and I'm sure they will have solutions. Have self-confidence and know that you are a great person, trying your best. Also, never forget to keep God inside of your heart. He will guide you and be your light through this pain. Pray about it, and go seek help. Good luck and God Bless.
- Linda