Dealing With Divorce Pt. 2

• Shocked
• Terrified
• Confused
• Bewildered
• Ashamed of yourself—because you think it’s your fault.
• Guilty—like somehow it’s your fault your parents split up.
• Angry with yourself—because you didn’t do things differently.
• Angry—either toward your parents, or just angry in general.
• Sad—“I can’t believe it’s come to this.”
• Afraid of losing your other parent, if one parent already left.
• Embarrassed—not wanting anyone to know things are going to be different in your family.
• Disappointed
• Depressed—like you’ve lost something
• Suicidal
• Worried about what is going to happen to you and who will take care of you.
• Helpless or Powerless
• Unloved
• Pushed-aside
• Rejected
• Protective of one or both parents.
• Responsible for your brothers or sisters.
• Distrustful
• Lonely—you don’t have anyone to talk to, or no one who understands what you’re going through.
• Hopeless
• Withdrawn
• Worthless
• Distracted
• Exhausted
• Unable to sleep
• It’s difficult to trust God
• A longing for closure

Tuesday, Jan 12, 2010 - 1:04:48 AM
My parents divorced eleven-years-ago when I was thirteen and it was definitely for the best; it wasn't that either one of them was a bad person but they were very unhappy together. Once they seperated both of them were much happier and became much easier to live with. Especially now that some of my friends are already getting stuck in bad relationships, because they feel that is what you do, I understand that not every relationship has to be for life; I owe this to my parents example. Sometimes knowing when to end a relationship is more important than trying to save it.
- Karl

Monday, Jan 11, 2010 - 9:47:03 PM
hey Jonathan, The link to Dawson's Facebook page is found on the homepage of www.dmlive.com There is also a Facebook page for TheHopeLine at www.facebook.com/thehopeline
-

Monday, Jan 11, 2010 - 9:46:38 PM
Dawson im wondering if u have a facebook and a facebook group. if not i will start one so plz dont sue me for name copying. plzzzzzzzzzzz dont my parents will kill me
- jonathan p.

Monday, Jan 11, 2010 - 8:51:59 PM
to - remember its not ur fault and ur boyfriends are not ur dad. and if u dont trust someone take baby steps u have ur whole life ahead of u. u have all the time u need to form a trust. in fact it is recomended by pshychyotrists to start forming the trust at the begining of the relationship rather than later.
- jonathan p.

Monday, Jan 11, 2010 - 4:13:13 PM
Hi Dawsoon. My parents got divorced when I was only 10 years old and 8 years later it still effects me on a daily basis. Not only do I still have problems staying in a committed relationship because I'm always afraid my boyfriend will leave me for every little mistake I make I can never seem to trust him with anything. It makes me feel like I'm not ever good enough and over time I began cutting not only to feel like I was actually alive but to alteast have control over someting in my life and its really hard when my boyfriend has been with me threw all of my problem wether we were friends at the time or trying to be in a relationship and sometimes it doesnt seem fair to him to be in a relationship with someone who is like damaged goods and he doesnt like it whem I cutt but he also understand why I do it. But your blogs and your shows have kind of helped me sort out some things with myself so thank you for everything you do. keep it up.
-

Monday, Jan 11, 2010 - 2:44:32 AM
Hey Dawson. My parents are separated, but the divorce is not final. I lived with my dad for 9 months from 2008 to 2009, where during that time I was emotionally abused and treated like I was a housewife. During the time I was being abused, I became fixated so to speak on my best guy friend. My guy friend called it "obsession". I knew in the back of my mind that I really didn't love him, but my mind had put me into a delusion. Now, almost a year after the initial events, he's shoving me away and not listening to what was going on with me during that year. Him not listening hurts me really bad. He won't even allow me to make amends for the damage I did to our friendship. Because of this, I usually end up going to sleep crying. What I want to know is: Is he even worth making amends for? & Can our friendship even be repaired?
- Jennifer K

Monday, Jan 11, 2010 - 12:42:06 AM
Hi Dawson, My stepmother divorced my dad last year. He hit her and put bruises on her and i saw it. I was on her side after it happend. I filed a report on what i saw willinging. Now my step mom has a restraining order against my dad and they went to court. She threw up hows he's abusive and bipolar now he doesnt get to see his two kids that he loves very much. he gets to see them once a week. I feel that i broke his family up and i feel uncomfortable when i go around him. my question is should i feel guilty to breaking his family up? and when he talks about the kids how should i respond? how can i get him to trust me again n talk to me?
- LeAnna

Sunday, Jan 10, 2010 - 10:35:35 PM
Hey Dawson. I'm kind of stuck. My parents just got into a really big fight on new years. My dad got really upset ecause my sister had wished my mom a Merry christemas. My sister moved out because she couldn't deal with my dad anymore. My dad got really angry at my mom and literally exploded on new years. He told my mom he didn't want to be part of her or this family, and that he wanted a divorce. But the next day, it was like a dream, because everything was completly fine between them, like nothing happened. They pushed the fight behind them and there not divorcing. I can't forget the fight, or anything that was said. I'm an insomniac, i can hardly ever sleep, and when i do, i have nighmares, and wake up in tears. I'm afraid something like this will happen again. What do i do?
- Mia

Sunday, Jan 10, 2010 - 6:58:19 PM
to sierra, WOW! overload! anyways, well enjoy your parents and if u dont like them together say to them that u support them whatever they do but prefer to make 1 choice and stick with it. parents love when they know your there to back them up. good luck
- jonathan p.

Sunday, Jan 10, 2010 - 12:31:47 AM
My parents have put me through an emotional rollercoaster. They got married when my big brother was born. And divorced when I was 3 yrs old. Then they got remarried when I was 7 and then divorced again when I was 9 and then they got reremarried when I was 12 and they were goin to split up This tax return but now my mom is asking me for another chance. should i? i donty think so... But the most important thing is to know your parents are human, and maybe they are just not riht for eachother. Or maybe fate brought them togother just to have you be born. Always Love, Never Hate.
- Sierra

Friday, Jan 8, 2010 - 7:21:27 PM
don't get ur parents angry
- victor m.

Thursday, Jan 7, 2010 - 7:50:09 PM
My parents divorced when i was 8 years old, but they had been getting back together and seperating off and on for 10 years now. Neither of them have remarried and by doing this, they have effected me and my siblings more than they could imagine. I had to be the mother for my siblings since i can remember because my mom decided it was more important to go out and have fun. It has led me to me having an eating disorder that i still struggle with today. I pretend that everything is okay but I am very lonely. I just turned 18 and i've never had a boyfriend because it is hard for me to trust guys. Im more scared of commitment, and i run away from the things that i love most. I feel like I am lost:( -melissa
- Melissa

Thursday, Jan 7, 2010 - 1:36:23 AM
hi i have dealt with divorce twice because of my mom.my dad and mom got divorced when i was three and then my mom got remarried when i was 15 and divorced when i was 18
- ashley

Tuesday, Jan 5, 2010 - 7:02:44 PM
To me dont worry about your parents the most important thing is you. its not your fault. ok
- jonathan p.

Tuesday, Jan 5, 2010 - 7:00:48 PM
hey,1st great show i love it. 2nd, divorces are hard but think of it as having even more parents. now you get more love.
- jonathan

Tuesday, Jan 5, 2010 - 1:37:48 AM
My parents divorced the day after Christmas in the third grade. My Dad left for a month and I didn't understand what it was about but, now I do. My Mom had an affair with this guy she worked with and that relationship still lasts today, five years later. I try to be happy for my Mom but, everyday I wake up and can't believe she would do such a horrible thing. I find myself avoiding relationships at school because of this. Plus my best friend (and crush) moved away two years ago and I still think about him every day. Recently, my Mom has been convincing my younger brother that my DAD is the horrible person of the two. I love my mom but, she isn't doing the right thing AT ALL anymore. Divorce has taken the happy-go-lucky and sucked it right out of me. I have no idea what to do anymore; I dread going home from school each day because of what I know I'm going to face. It's now been five years but, I can't go on. Divorce is a horrible thing.
- Me

Tuesday, Jan 5, 2010 - 12:42:00 AM
Im dating this girl she is the most amazing girl ever we have been together for a month and have already had sex multiple times im pretty sure i love her acctually i konw i do but i dont think she feels this strongly yet and i dont know how to tell her im afraid to scare her away but i need to tell her its tearing me up inside plz help me
- Travis

Tuesday, Jan 5, 2010 - 12:41:28 AM
Hi, Meg (or "Me), I just wanted to let you know that Dawson does have an online HopeLine for you and others who need help but don't want to call in. Just go to www.thehopeline.com and click on the "Chat Coach" tab at the top of the page.
- ~ from the DMLive team

Tuesday, Jan 5, 2010 - 12:36:51 AM
Hey Dawson it's me again :) oh k so I commented last night telling a little bit about my story and how my parents falling out of love has affected me and my feelings of there love for me...I wanna say that what you do is amazing I listen to other peoples problems and piece your answers together so that they may help me...When I grow up I want to start my own cosmetics line that helps teen girls feel good abou them selves and I want to give good clean beautiful on the inside as well as out girls who need koneyfor college or becuz there having a tough time...it's people like u that have helped inspire me to start a community service clubs t my school as well hut I need someones help Gettig through my own tough time until I can help others I was hoping u could set up a hope hotline but online that way we can go and talk to people without a phone I no that u has probably had many requests for this and may not even read my comment but if u do jut no that there us one more girl out there who wants to change the world but is scared and needs help thank u for he help u have already given love, Meg
- Me

Monday, Jan 4, 2010 - 3:17:33 AM
Oh k so my friend was murdered, I got in trouble, my mom has a brain tumor, Most of my friends either are trying to starve or kill themselves, sex boys and the wrong choices are always trying to get me, Im a 14 year old girl... Yesterday my mom told me that if t weren't for me and my three brothers she would leave my dad... I thought the only normal family in the world with no divorce or problems in it was mine now I feel like my families just a lie. I scared of highschool In scared of life... I'm scared... My familys the only thing I have Ive disappointed them so much I thought that was the only love I had and now I feel like it's all gone... I'm lost and tomorrow may make a bad choice... Help
- Me

Sunday, Jan 3, 2010 - 11:51:13 PM
my parents divored when i was 7 years old and i never hardly even seen my dad becuz he was out on the road driving a big rig (18 wheeler). i never knew what the divorce was about and really didnt understand. i asked my mom everyday y isnt daddy home? y isnt daddy home? and she wud always say we'll talk later. she always said that and to this day i dont know wat the divorce was about. my dad is somewat n my life today but i dont really think he loves me for who i am. he doesnt seem like he wants me to be his daughter. i go to church every sunday and wednesday and i give my testimony whenever my teachers want me too.
- haley

Sunday, Jan 3, 2010 - 11:50:43 PM
Hey I'm gay but I don't know how to tell my friends I'm 16 please Dawson help me out
- Kevin b.

Sunday, Jan 3, 2010 - 11:01:05 PM
Dawson, my parents devorced when i was 8 and it because my mom was datting a mexican ehind my fathers back. then my father found out and it went all down hill from there and now im 15 and theres this guy named luis and me and him want to hook up but my dad always tells me i better never date mexicans cus i guess of what happen. my question to u is what do u think i should do?
- julie

Sunday, Jan 3, 2010 - 8:24:24 PM
My parents aren't divorced, but at times i wish they were. sometimes i love them together. you can just see the love in their eyes. but other times, my dad over rules my mom on alot. If my mom says we can do something and he doesn't like it, he will say we can't do it even though she gave us permission. Also he's freaked out on her whenever she trys to stand up for us. Then she ends up apologizing cause she doesn't want to fight with him. It's almost like she doesn't have a say anymore when it comes to her children and our punishments. Having your parents together isn't always a walk in the park either. I'm not saying i don't want them together, but it can be hard.
- Cierra

Sunday, Jan 3, 2010 - 6:36:15 PM
So yea my parents divorce when i was about 3 and there was always alot of fight between them and then my father just drop off the face of world untill the day that i was adopt . . . he show up out of no where that day ( i was bless with a wounderful family) and still feels like it messes with me and me myself am praying and fighting for my own marriage
- sara

Tuesday, Dec 29, 2009 - 6:52:10 PM
Wow, my parents devorced before I was one. the thing that hurts the most is my mom left. My friends get to go back an forth but I don't even know if my mom is alive. Thank you for helping these people through god he helps a lot! I'm only 12 but I go through a lot. I listen to you on the river on sunday night when every one is a sleep it helps me a lot to know I'm not the only one with abuse, suicid family members, boyfriend trouble, and cutting. Thank you Dawson for every thing Morgan C.
- Morgan

Monday, Dec 28, 2009 - 11:54:09 PM
dawson,i read ur blogs on cutting and its all so true. dawson i am a recovered cutter but everyday i live with the regret, the scars, and the memories of my ugly,horrable past.i started when i was 11. i started because my parents got devorced. it was too much 4 me 2 handle so started cutting myself.i tried 2 comment suicide many times and my sister saved me every single one dawson i have been 2 the hospital a few times because of cutting and each time got worse they had 2 give me more and more blood each time.dawson i disappointed many loved ones and lost many friends, although i did that i didnt and wasnt going to stop. well one day my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me because he found out about it.thats when i got my pencil sharpener blade out and started going at it this time was worst of all i got my wake up call.i cut too deep in my left wrist and cut into my arterie. well i was rushed to the hospital once again. i was given three times the amout of blood as b4 and almost died.dawson that was the last time i ever cut myself or harmed myself again.I WAS DONE. i already had my mind made up.Dawson i paid a high price for what i did. i almost took the most valuable thing of all,my life ,i lost many close friends, disappointed many peopple, and i have to live the scars everyday. i try to cover them with makeup but they still show so i wear long sleeves year round. because im ashamed of them.dawson aused to crave cutting but not anymore.i have found better ways to cope like playing my clarinet , hanging out with GOOD friends, and writting songs and poetry.Cutting is hard to stop but its not impossible.that girl that commented on the other cutting blogs that said she tried everything you listed WAS VERY WRONG. she doesnt wanna quit thats y its not working for her. but one day shell get her wakeup call just like me and maybe GOD wont save her like he did me.well now im 16 im able to help out my friends who cut and ive even saved some from cutting. and im so glad im able to do that.GOOD NEWS DAWSON i have a new addiction im addicted to ur shoW.and the good thing is im not harming myself AT ALL.no drugs no cutting no drinking no nothing.im FREE!!! from that but im never going to try and quit my addiction to ur show i just ♥♥♥LOVE♥♥♥ IT TOOOOO MUCH.A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN CUTTING.well dawson i just wanna say thank you for all you do to help us teens.u are truly my hero.thank you and dawson im the 1 to say its never impossibe to quit cutting its just hard .and dawson without GOD i wouldnt be here right now i would be ~~~DeAd~~~and dawsonif some of these cutters dont open their eyes it night be too late for them jus like it almost was with me!!!ive learned that someone or something cant make you wanna quit an addiction you have to want it urself. so thanks for everything you do keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ****share my story with the ones who think its impossibe to quit cutting****
- savana

Monday, Dec 28, 2009 - 8:04:34 PM
Divorce is one of the most devastating things you can go through. Divorce effects everyone involved especially children. When my marriage ended my daughter was 3 and I could tell it affected her as much as it did me. It wasn’t her fault and when she gets older enough to understand I will emphasize this to her.
- sherman

Monday, Dec 28, 2009 - 5:55:01 PM
My parents divorced in the summer of going to be my 5th grade year. When they broke the news I couldn't believe it, all I could ask my slef was...'why'. I did not wanna believe that this happened to me,not my family. Things became different. My dad had to move out,my mom kept the house, my dad stays in my life and only lives a few minutes away. Holidays hurt. Because Its not what I "normally" do. My parents were okay it wasn't as bad as other childerens divorces. But then it grew worse , I witnessed my parents fighting my mom hitting my dad, this only happend once but it scared for life I remember that like living today. I have found ways to cope,and deal with stress, for the most point. I'm lucky to have BOTH a mother and father figure in my life I'm lucky that I get to see the other everyother day.
- Alaina

Monday, Dec 28, 2009 - 3:20:05 PM
My parents were never together, but its still hard for me. I can only imagine the emotional shock the kids go through from having both of the parents there in the same household, then one leaving. The emotional might dull after a while, so be strong!!
- Samantha

Sunday, Dec 27, 2009 - 10:57:34 PM
deardom live hi how are me mad at my mom she not goos to ms a lot liv is bad i you can helop with her
- jolon

Sunday, Dec 27, 2009 - 10:25:20 PM
As someone who is going through divorce with children, I'm more than willing to admit that the damage that has been caused to our children from our divorce has been by our own hand. I immediately started the children and myself in therapy. Altho I urged my ex to also go, he did not. I have done my best to smooth the transition but I see how the bitterness and angry words affected my children. Children are products of their environment and I think most parents forget that. 2 years later i still go to therapy once a week and my children once every 2 months. My ex and I try our best to be friendly and work together for our children and the doctor is amazed by my children's improved behavior and coping skills. I think its the parents responsibility to suck up the hard feelings and keep a happy household for the children.
- Mia

Sunday, Dec 27, 2009 - 2:51:18 PM
My parents just divorced last year. I stayed with my mom b/c my dad cheated on my mom, stalked, and even harrassed other women. Everyone thought that I was strong enough to deal with it on my own, but I was choosing the wrong path. I started being sexually active, overdosing on painkillers, and much more. It wa just a few weeks ago when I had to go to the ER b/c I took 12 Tylenol b4 my basketball game. A time b4 that I was washing dishes and when I came upon the knives I held one up to my neck and started cutting my neck I started bleeding and one again had to go to the ER. I have had countless suicidal thouhts. I cut myself every week. It. gives me a since of control over something. I refuse to talk to counselers, friends, and family. Nothing was going right. But one day b4 I was fixing to have sex my boyfriend just stopped and talked to me all night. Surprisingly I listened to him. I have stopped cuting myself and have less sucidal thoughts but that depression is still with me. Oh I forgot to mention that I'm only 13.
- Arynn

Saturday, Dec 26, 2009 - 11:27:04 PM
My parents got divorced when i was 3. eventually you'll get over it. you love your parents both but sometime's, it's for the best.
- MacKenzie

Friday, Dec 25, 2009 - 1:08:32 AM
Hey Dawson, I love what you are doing on your show and I hope you keep it going!
- Jordyn

Thursday, Dec 24, 2009 - 8:45:01 PM
I feel so lost, and a load of the other emotions. I want so badly to trust God, but I feel I've lost my ability to trust. My parents divorced when I was 4 and I had no clue what was going on. I am just now, ten years later am finally getting some answers. No one can relate, no counselor ever helps, all it is, is reliving and crying and over whelming feelings again and again. I day and day and days of mine are ruined because I get to see counselors in the morning during school, people ask and look at me ask me if I'm okay. I want the pain thoughts memories to go away. But no matter where I go who i see what I do, they don't go away. I know it's not my fault, it is never my fault... I am the victim, and I need help out. I really appreciate your blogs and how much they help others. I just want the weight lifted.
- Jodi B.

Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009 - 9:48:40 PM
The pain really hurts but it gets worst when they have to share you and the every other weekend visits. Then comes the new step parents, and step brothers and sisters.but it does gt better
- Nicole

Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009 - 8:18:51 PM
Dawson thank for having this wonderful blog, my parent's relationship is in trouble and its just very nice to read an article like this. Thanks for diong your show. :)
- Jamie

Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009 - 12:45:07 AM
will annonymouns umm i have been throw that when i wont to school. Just come out nd tell the guy that u like him more then a firend nd see if he likes u more then a firend to. Hey Dawson i have this boyfirend i feel like he don't really love me at all so wat do u think i should do.
- jamie h.

Monday, Dec 21, 2009 - 3:29:41 PM
Hey Dawson, what do you do if there is a triangle situation? When a guy likes 2 girls as "just friends", but at least one of the girls like the guy more than a "just friend." What do you do?
- Annonymous

Monday, Dec 21, 2009 - 1:15:09 PM
After 7 seperations, in which everytime I had to pack up and move, my parents finally called it quits. That was about 3 years ago. My father had become a raging alcoholic. His alcoholism sprouted other problems, such as infidellity, rage, physical abuse, and other memories I have repressed. Despite all of this I still have respect for him, mainly because he IS my father. We were a happy family, i used to go do all kinds of activites with him, and then it all ended. When my parents divorced, I lost almost everything I loved and felt comfortable with. As a result of the stress of the 7 seperations, I developed bad eating habits, such as emotional eating, which caused me weight problems I'm still dealing with. I still talk and visit my dad, but with him living in another state, i've lost the father figure in my life. My father is engaged to his wonderful girlfriend now, but my mom is failing at about every relationship she tries. Even thought he divorce was more than 3 or 4 years ago, it just hit me recently that I have no one to teach me the kind of thins that my dad used to teach me. And now, as i get older, I'm learning more and more secrets about my family, such as cults, a heroin addiction, and many more. It's like everything I was ever comfortable with, is crashing down around me, hidden secrets spraying from the collision.
- noah h.

Sunday, Dec 20, 2009 - 11:04:55 PM
my parents are getting divorcedd.. and i cant stand it. all the feelings you listed were truee for me. thanks for being there for everyonee. i listen to you every sunday. it really helps me live my life.
- alyssa

Sunday, Dec 20, 2009 - 10:39:40 PM
hey dawsoni jusy wanna say thanks for being their for every one and ur doing a great job at it :]
- hunter

Sunday, Dec 20, 2009 - 8:22:16 PM
I have gone through my parents almost getting a divorce to the point where my mom was engaged to another man! It was my mom and my step-dad that were going to get a divorce, but he has been in my life since the day I was born so he is like a dad to me. It was really hard to know that they were getting a divorce, but my mom had her reasons. I loved the guy that my mom was engaged to, in fact, I hooked them up! It was going along just fine till he hit her then the relationship fell apart. Now my mom and step-dad are back together, and I am thankful for that!
- Megan

Sunday, Dec 20, 2009 - 12:13:13 AM
yeah,my parents are divorced.and its something that ive always had a hard time with,but im dealing,and getting over it.my dad has never cared about me, and he never will.he has never been th father he should've been.but oh well.im dealing.now,im getting to th point where i can say that things and that i'm okay. i still have my bad days,but things get better.(: thankyou for always being there[:
- Brianna.

Saturday, Dec 19, 2009 - 3:37:00 AM
hey Dawson u are an amazing person i think i am going to call u sunday thanks so much for all u do
- Ashley

Saturday, Dec 19, 2009 - 12:05:34 AM
Hey Dawson, this is off topic i know, but thankyou for everything you do. its absolutle amazing. Your changing the world very slowly, but very affectivly my friend. So...to you, Thankyou. Your an amazing person, and everyone deserves the help you give because lets be honest, we dont all have the same problems, no, but we do all have problems. thankyou.
- Alexander S.

Friday, Dec 18, 2009 - 11:42:05 PM
My parents have been divorced since I was 11. Even though I'm 24, it is still very hard to deal with.
- aaron

Friday, Dec 18, 2009 - 9:54:45 PM
Dawson. I know you human. But you are like and angel brotha. You've truley benifited the world in so many ways. Thank you man. Thank God for making people like you.
- Steven

Friday, Dec 18, 2009 - 5:33:05 PM
My parents got divorced when i was two. I really din't know what was going on at the time. I'm thirteen now and I have to go through their horrible parenting. But as long as you have someone on your side to talk to, like you, maybe, then you'll find out that it's not your fault and you'll grow out of your pain.
- Meagan

Friday, Dec 18, 2009 - 4:57:18 PM
My parents have been divorced twice the first time wasnt so bad but the second time was really bad... I mean I want my parents to be together and if my mom wouldn't of went and cheated on my dad they would still be together... At first they put me in the middle of everything and they made me choice sides that didnt work out two well... So then i called you and talked to you and they started to work everything out and get along.... then i i realizd it is just better off if they are not together anymore.....
- Jennifer