How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation

You, no doubt, have experienced the damaging effects of people gossiping about you. If you haven’t, consider yourself fortunate. Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone’s reputation is seriously damaged.

Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people.

Perhaps you’ve been the focus of some gossip, and your reputation has been hurt. Maybe you’ve made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you. You may feel like there’s no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It’s going to take some time, but trust me, you can rebuild your reputation. Here are some ideas on how to do it…

1) Ignore the negative. It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you—it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.

That was Sarah’s experience, “I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.”

2) Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You’re well aware of how you don’t want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?

3) Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be, and believes the best about you. If you can’t find anyone, be that person for yourself.

Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?

Devon commented: “Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I’m a good person and though I’m not perfect, I’m working on getting better.”

4) Be honest about your mistakes. If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!

Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.

5) Figure out if you need a new group of friends. Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don’t have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life—people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.

Misty said: “I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.”

6) Show you care about other people. Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You’ll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.

7) Make a little change. Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don’t be afraid to “conform” just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.

Don’t ever try to turn into something you are not.

8) Be patient. It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.

David had this experience: “I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.”

Hint • If you’re feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?

No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don’t ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high—no matter what other people say about you.

Next week, I’m going to write about how to Protect Your Reputation. What are some of the things you do to keep your reputation gossip-free? Let me know. Thanks for your help!

Wednesday, Feb 3, 2010 - 2:13:29 AM
i have a friend named kaylub d. And i told him about you and how you help people 29 and younger. Hes been going through some medical and girl problems that ive been trying to help him through and i think this blog that i wrote down for him to read might just help him with part of his problem. I will also write down the next blog maybe that will help him to but you do have a point and i trust your blog and your advice to other people. Thank you for you help to others than yourself thats what im doing right now because of your love for others.
- jake lee r.

Tuesday, Feb 2, 2010 - 12:01:17 AM
i've been listening to your show on z100 for a while and you've really been a great help to people. i think you're amazing for helping others who don't know what to do. thanks for the help you've given me: the listener. :] keep the faith!
- kitty

Sunday, Jan 31, 2010 - 9:52:30 PM
I have a bad reputation because of a rumor that i cut myself went around. I son't really cut myself, and i even told everyone that, but it got me nowhere. What should i do?
- Logan

Sunday, Jan 31, 2010 - 9:27:13 PM
I'm a goth, so I have a pretty bad rep. I've been trying to fix it for years now, but recenly, I just, you know, gave up. I figured it's not worth the effort anymore. I mean, it's not like I want to be with the preps and jocks and be popular, no, not at all,I just want to be in a different position, like not being called freak show, and laughed at behind my back. I used to be like that, now, whenever someone says something rude to me, I just smile and thank them. I don't regret who I am, or anything about me, being who you are is all that matters, and my friends always said to me that it doesn't matter if you have a bad rep or not, just be happy about who you are, and change nothing about yourself. Your perfect just the way you are. Keep Rockin Dawson.
- Eve

Sunday, Jan 31, 2010 - 8:59:15 PM
Hey dawson, I know how you said any bad rep can be repaired, but what if your the school goth or emo or something like that? I've had that kind of rep since the 6th grade, and no matter what i did, the rumors got worse, as did my rep. I even ignore all the rumors that go around, but that only makes it worse because they then say i'm denying it. What should i do?
- Broken

Sunday, Jan 31, 2010 - 2:43:18 AM
hey, i'm one who's never really had a terrible rumor about me go around. Maybe it's because i don't do that bad of stuff, but it's also because i have friends that i know wouldn't tell. I know a lot of people probably say that. But my friends earned my trust. i started with telling them little things, then got bigger when they kept these secrets. if you want to protect your reputation you have to think about if i do this just once, do i want people knowing about it? People thinking of me in this way? i know you shouldn't care about what others think, but their are times when it's okay to. you can ALWAYS bounce back though from a bad reputation.
- Cierra

Saturday, Jan 30, 2010 - 11:50:48 PM
Dawson, Your blogs and your words are seriously a inspiration to me and my life. Your words helped me through my struggles and educated me in helping my friends and others. This blog i gotta say is one of your best works ever. I'm really glad you posted this because right now i'm stuck in the middle of no man's land in a world war lol. NO joke. My best friends are fighting and trying to pull me to their side but i DO NOT want to take sides. One of my friends is telling everyone that my other friend called her ex-boyfriend and said she wanted to have sex with him and now my friend has lost all of her friends and no one else to talk to but me and the x of the other friend. You really couldn't have come in a better time then this. I thank you so much. God bless you and your work. -jo jo-
- Joey S.

Saturday, Jan 30, 2010 - 7:02:24 PM
I ignore all gossip about me. People ask me about it, and I simply say that it's not true. It's easy to make a big deal about things, but it takes willpower to ignore it.
- samantha

Saturday, Jan 30, 2010 - 4:28:19 PM
Sometimes it seems like when there's nothing els to talk about there's always gossip of some kind. But before you start gossiping, especialy about someone you don't like, remember that it doesn't make you any better than the person you're gossiping about.
- Hannah

Friday, Jan 29, 2010 - 4:34:04 PM
i gossip with my best friend a lot but sometimes it comes back and kicks me in the butt. I need help but for some reason i don't want to stopp.
- morgan