When You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough For Someone
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We always make a mistake when we make someone we care about of the opposite sex our hero, or even our god. | I am absolutely amazed as to the number of questions you have about the opposite sex. Let’s face it, relationships and romance and the emotions that come with it, is really important. It can affect the rest of our lives for good or for bad. I hope you find yourself getting answers to some of the problems keeping you from experiencing the positive effects of having great relationships. It’s always encouraging for me to read your thank yous in the comment section about how these blogs are helping you. Remember, I’m in your corner. Here are this week’s questions...
QUESTION #29) Amelia asked: "I've been with my boyfriend for about three months now and he's great, but I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. I'm 19, he's 21, and he's perfect, but I always feel like I'm being compared to his ex-girlfriend from three years ago, or that I'm just not good for him. He says that's not true, but I can't get past feeling that he's too good for me. It's starting to affect our relationship, how do I get over this?"
DAWSON: I think there are a couple of issues going on here. First, you say your boyfriend is perfect. Even without knowing him, I can assure you he isn’t. We always make a mistake when we make someone we care about of the opposite sex our hero, or even our god. It’s great to respect your bf/gf, but putting them too high on a pedestal puts way too much pressure on the relationship.
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Seeing each other in a more realistic light, with both strengths and weaknesses, will help your relationship to be more balanced and healthy. | But the bigger issue is you not feeling “good enough” for him. No matter what he tells you, you just won’t believe you bring as much to the relationship as he does. What would make you feel “good enough” for him? Whatever it is, you still would not be able to meet those standards. God has made each of us as incredibly unique individuals. You have just as many wonderful qualities as your boyfriend, even if you’re not aware of them right now.
It’s important for you to accept the love your boyfriend is giving you, and not just write it off because you don’t feel worthy. If you continue to talk about not feeling good enough, there’s a good chance he’s going to become discouraged because your relationship seems to be so negative, and move on to someone else. Stop focusing on just your weaknesses, and only his strengths. Seeing each other in a more realistic light, with both strengths and weaknesses, will help your relationship to be more balanced and healthy.
So stop worrying about your imperfections, and concentrate on loving him. When we really love others, we end up feeling a whole lot better about ourselves.
QUESTION #30) Braden asked: "Is it normal for a girl to break-up for no reason? If so, why?"
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Most people don’t do things like breaking-up with someone for no reason at all. | DAWSON: The short answer to your question is no. Most people don’t do things like breaking-up with someone for no reason at all. Most girls don’t say, “Oh, it’s Tuesday, I think I’ll break up with my boyfriend today.” It’s usually a series of either events, conversations with friends, or private feelings that lead to someone breaking-up with you.
Often, when a break-up happens out of the blue, it’s because there’s someone else who has entered the picture. Or maybe her friends are putting pressure on her to end the relationship. In many cases, you will never know the real reason. She’s probably not telling you her reasons, either to protect herself, or protect you from getting mad or hurt.
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We will never completely understand the opposite sex, and all the reasons they feel what they feel, and do what they do. | Still, sometimes the “not knowing why” is more difficult than the actual break-up. I’d encourage you to let her have her reasons, whatever they may be, and not let it haunt you. If you are willing to do that, you’ll find yourself learning to be a better, stronger person. There are always going to be unanswered questions in dating relationships. We will never completely understand the opposite sex, and all the reasons they feel what they feel, and do what they do. Don’t let this girl’s lack of communication prevent you from being a person who chooses to be truthful and honest with the girls you date.
Your questions about the opposite sex continue to amaze me. Please keep sending them my way. I want to help you get to the root of some of the issues you’re dealing with in your guy/girl relationships. No matter what you’re going through, please remember there’s always hope.
Thursday, May 7, 2009 - 9:24:22 PM
About a year and a half ago, my now ex, boyfriend broke u with me. It really hurt me cause he was my best friend. We had promised to stay friends after we broke up though. But now we don't even talk. I was his first girlfriend. He has dated like 5 girls now. He is dating this one girl like a year older than him and they have been dating for about five months now. Everytime i see him, he stares at me. It seems like he still likes me. He will stare at me like at lunch, even when he is sitting with his girlfriend. Why is he doing this? Also how can i become friends with him again?
- Dawn
Thursday, May 7, 2009 - 9:22:20 PM
I feel like I am not good enough for some people. I don't know how I can be friends with those people. What should I do?
- david
Thursday, May 7, 2009 - 9:21:33 PM
Sir, I always fall for older girls. But all the one's I've fallen for are my best friends. How do I stop? And btw, you are amazing at what you do and I listen to your show every Sunday.
- Sam
Thursday, May 7, 2009 - 2:15:58 AM
whenever i am with my best friend, it's like we have a blushing contest. i think he likes me. but how can u tell? i love ur show mr. M! u are a blessing to all. u have no idea how many people u have helped and/or saved. thanx! love, fatima
- fatima
Thursday, May 7, 2009 - 1:21:11 AM
my ex always made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I made it my mission to get his approval. But I never got it. Every time I thought that I actually did something right... he would tell me something else that I did wrong. He told me multiple times that I needed to get a tan and put more blond in my hair. I'm just glad that I don't have to put up with that any longer.
Dawson, i love your show. you do a great job. keep up the good work
- heather
Thursday, May 7, 2009 - 12:34:40 AM
Hey, Erik, I've seen this before. it doesnt stop. That's what growing up includes. You just start to notice that girls can be beautiful. Don't worry. Just focus on your gf and resist temptation.
- Charlie
Wednesday, May 6, 2009 - 6:32:06 PM
I can feel myself becoming more knowledgeable on this subject, and that'll help me be confidant later on in life. Thanks so much for these blogs! =)
- Kayla
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 - 6:55:02 PM
Me and my boyfriend dated for 2 and a half years. During that two years he cheated on me numerous times. I only knew of one of those times at the time. But after that first time, he came to me and begged for forgiveness, and me loving him i did. But i still felt i wasnt good enough. So i continued to try and please him. I did everything he wanted. I spend thousands of dollars on him. i wore the clothes he wanted me to wear i was who he made me to be. and while i am glad to be free of that. I still love him. and cant seem to get over what he did to me. He hurt me in many ways, and i didnt find out about all the things he did until the very end when it all hit me at once like a ton of bricks. How do i forget someone like this? Who has had my heart for over two years? Why do i still care about him when he has brought nothing but pain?
- Michelle
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 - 2:01:56 AM
when ever im with a girl i start to think i like them. this happens even when i have a gf. how do i make it stop?
- erik
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 - 2:01:44 AM
oh and another thing
u really helped mi friend out a lot
with ur advise we listen to ur radio station every Sunday night @ 10pm
take care Dawson :)
- lissa
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 - 12:35:49 AM
hey thanks
for the great advise
u are the man Dawson :)
keep up the good work
- lissa
Monday, May 4, 2009 - 10:46:54 PM
i think your blog is a quick and easy way to gain confidence on the run. you take the time unlike so many others to sit down and talk with teeenagers and adults i think you're doing a really great thing and god can see that and your efforts will not be in vain.
i've only listened to your show for a couple of weeks now but i know that every time you take a phone call you're ready to really help that person no matter the age sex or race.
and i really think you're a great person. i feel like i know you and it's great to us teens to have somebody out there like you helping us grow and learn lessons that aren't so clear to us. there should be so many more people like you in the world ;)
thanks for all you've done
~kimberlyn denise b.
a loyal listener
- denise
Monday, May 4, 2009 - 1:58:23 AM
hi im writen to u about me & my ex bf, i was dating hom 4 just about a month his 19 and im 21 & he seemed very happy with me and everything he said sounded so sinser and sounded from the heart and he showed me how much he loved me and care & i new i loved him but i didnt no how much in tell i had to leave to take care of court, & relied that i fall hard 4 him & i want him back so bad. But then when i came back up north 2 take care of icourt he text me to days later & broke it off with me & i was crushed. He told me that he doesnt want 2 b in a relatoonship becuz of everything that he going through right now, & i understood but then 2 days later find out that he broke up with me for his ex gf that they were dating off & on for 5or6 years and this girl is nothing but trouble & does damage to my ex & his family. But anyways i still LOVE him alot and i dont know what to do. Because this is the first time i have fallin this hard, and i dont no what to do. what u do when i fall hard 4 some1 & in a short time??
- Tasha
Monday, May 4, 2009 - 1:21:12 AM
Is it truly love when you will do anything for the person you care about even when it hurts you in the process? I've been with my boyfriend off and on for five years now. I love him so much, but I get the feeling he doesn't feel the same way about me, because he casually breaks up with me whenever he feels like it. I am 100% faithful to him and he is not. He joined the army about a year ago and he is stationed in another state. I worry every day that he is cheating on me and he has recently took on heavy drinking. My life is emotionally chaotic, but I'm in love with him.
- Ashlee
Monday, May 4, 2009 - 1:09:14 AM
Well, my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 years off and on..we went on a break and he got another girlfriend...my best friend..I told him that i loved him and that i dont like them being together..we got back together and for about a month he acted like nothing happend...he talked to her on the phone every night we he got done talking to me..it bothered me very much now she has a new boyfriend and dont call him and he is acting wierd..what do i do i dont want to lose him i love him more than anything...please help
- Brittney
Monday, May 4, 2009 - 12:15:42 AM
I really like this guy and he knows I like him and he doesn't like me back and I don't know what to do. He's popular, funny, and cool. Everyone likes him and he used to like me but then this other popular girl started flirting with him to make me mad so now he likes her but she doesn't actually like him. Its even harder because he's constantly flirting with me. Why does he do that? What should I do? The more the time goes by the more perfect he seems to me and thats when I start messing stuff up too.
- Giselle
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 11:38:20 PM
Hey wats up
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Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 11:37:56 PM
I just got back together with my ex. I am not sure why we broke up. I am not sure of his true feelings for me and it scares me. What should I do?
- Merisa
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 9:55:24 PM
So,I really like this guy,alot.and im a bigger girl.and my friend told him that i liked him.and he said that he kinda liked me.and told her that he was going to ask me out when him and his girlfriend broke up.that never happened.should i even still try or not,tell me what i should do..
-Brianna.
- Brianna
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 9:42:43 PM
Dawson, I have feelings for my best guy friend and I think he has feelings for me too, the thing is I think he might know that I like him and he also might know that I know he likes me. Things have been awkward between us and I don't know what to do, I can't date and I don't want to do anything to ruin our friendship. What should I do?!
- hannah
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 8:57:22 PM
good job keep it up
- andrew
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 8:29:42 PM
I had this bf and we just broke up 2 weeks ago and the reason we broke up is because of his ex. She is 16 and has 2 kids so yeah she gets around I know she's cheatin on him because I saw her with someone else. And I still love him and he told me he still loves me but I don't know how to tell him that she's cheating on him. I know its none of my business but I really love him and don't want to see him get hurt. What should I do?
- Paige
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 7:14:30 PM
I like this guy alot, and I think he likes me too, but sometimes he doesn't answer my texts. He does flirt with me alot, though. Whenever we plan to hang out, our plans always fall through. But why do guys sometimes flirt with you, then sometimes they ignore you?
- Ali
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 2:51:45 AM
dawson, there is this guy we went out and i broke up with him 4 times and he has broken up with me 2 times we have been cheating on eachother and he asked me out again i dont know what to tell him.. should i go out with him? what should i tell him?
- Taylor
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 2:15:11 AM
how do i know that my bf has rally changed he used to be a player, is the saying true once a player always a player ? =[ he made me fall in love with him i really am, and i think he is in love with me too, but i am scared that he might end up breaking up with me again, idk what to do help
- lexie
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 1:28:39 AM
I'm practically in love with a guy, who is dating another girl. He loves her with all his heart, which makes what I feel so hearbreaking, because I know it won't work out. But I love everything about him, and that's the hardest part because I can't get over him. What should I do?
- Angiee
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 12:45:39 AM
i made so many mistakes in my past and my bf says i perfect and i nowhere near it and i hate people thinking i perfect wat do i do
- kierra
Sunday, May 3, 2009 - 12:26:12 AM
I see girls everyday that i wish i could go out with, but people tell me I don't have a chance with that person. So i don't know if i should be miserable and not date or overcome my fear and ask out a girl people tell me i don't have a chance for. What should I do?
- david
Saturday, May 2, 2009 - 10:17:47 PM
I recently lost my best friend. Things just got so complicated between us and I couldn't take it anymore, I gave up on him. I wish we could still be friends but I think it's best if we're not. What's the best way to get over losing him?
- Emily
Saturday, May 2, 2009 - 9:58:06 PM
I've been seeing a guy for about a month now. Neither of us have told anyone about the relationship, I sort of want to but he does not. Why does he feel the need to keep our relationship in the dark? Should I be worried?
- Amy
Saturday, May 2, 2009 - 8:57:19 PM
How do you nicely tell a guy who is a player that you are NOT intreted in him?
- Hannah
Saturday, May 2, 2009 - 6:38:08 PM
I have a question?
I`m in a relationship with this guy who I have been dating for the past 7months but there so many issues that we still have we get into many fights and problems at the same time I love him I wana be with him hes my life but hes really insecure about me. I never gave him any reason to be so insecure its just that his past bad experiences still haunting him till this day and its really affecting our relationship what should I do?
- sehar
Saturday, May 2, 2009 - 5:26:31 PM
If a girl likes you and you don't like her what do you do?
- Robert
Saturday, May 2, 2009 - 2:01:33 PM
why should a girl like a guy who is bad and is mean to everyone but their girlfriend and their is a guy for the girl that is better but the girl doesnt want the other guy?
- david
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