Dawson McAllister

Why Do Women Handle Emotions Differently Than Men?

Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out their relationship.
It’s always fascinating to explore the differences between the genders. Let’s face it, no matter what anyone says, men and women are similar, but yet so different. In fact, there was a big selling book called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus which spelled out very clearly what makes men different from women. These differences can cause so much confusion for people involved in a relationship. I am hoping to clear up some of this confusion by answering your 50 most pressing questions about the opposite sex. Here’s this week’s first question—same question, just asked in a different way by both a guy and a girl.

QUESTION #41) Phillip asked: “Why it is that women tend to have so much stronger emotions than men?” and Michaela asked: “When guys get emotionally hurt, why do they just brush everything off and wont talk with you about it?”

DAWSON: Unfortunately, society has told men it’s a sign of weakness to express their feelings—while it’s much more socially acceptable for women to talk about their feelings. That may be a reason why so many more men end up with heart attacks—they tend to hold everything inside. While every person is different, women tend to be more emotional than men. There’s nothing wrong with that. Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out their relationship. But while there are exceptions, it is equally true men tend to express their emotions differently than women.

Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex.
Women are more prone to talk about what they are thinking and feeling, and to demonstrate how they are feeling with their tears, facial expressions, hand gestures, and body language. Many women seem to be more comfortable figuring out how they feel by talking through it. Men, generally speaking, tend to process their emotions inwardly. Many times, they don’t know exactly how they feel, so they try to figure it out on their own—inside their head. Some men are afraid of their emotions and keep them buried inside in order to protect themselves from looking weak. Little do they know, that most women would accept and understand (and even appreciate!) an expression of their emotion.

Many of us are so hungry for attention—or what we feel is love—we are willing to do anything, or put up with anything in order to get what we think is love.
Men are also more physical, and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions, and doing things. The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them—eventually coming out as anger. There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you.

There are differences between the genders. Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex, rather than get frustrated about the differences. We ought to celebrate them. Just think, what if there were all women in the world, and no men? Or all men in the world, and no women? The world wouldn’t be a very fun place, would it?

QUESTION #42) Ashlee asked: “Is it truly love when you will do anything for the person you care about even when it hurts you in the process?”

DAWSON: You sound like you already know the answer to your question. Of course, the answer is no. Love does not demand you do things for the person in your life that would harm you in the end. Love gives, it does not take. Love heals, it does not hurt. Love builds up the other person, does not tear them down.

But you’re probably wondering why it is that you’re doing what you’re doing—why are you putting up with hurtful behavior from your boyfriend, and still calling it love? Unfortunately, many stuck in selfish and destructive relationships have never had real love shown to them. Many of us are so hungry for attention—or what we feel is love—we are willing to do anything, or put up with anything in order to get what we think is love.

Unfortunately, there are times when the person who is demanding we violate our own value system simply to please themselves, will show signs of changing, or even glimpses they really care about the other person. This is what makes it so confusing. The person being hurt thinks if they just love their partner more—perhaps being that one person in their life that never gives up on them—then they will stop the hurting. This won’t happen. Besides, this isn’t love, no matter what how much you feel it is.

If you find yourself doing things with your bf/gf that violate your own value system, get out of the relationship.
You need to protect yourself. If you find yourself doing things with your bf/gf that violate your own value system, get out of the relationship. Talk to someone you can trust about what’s happening in the relationship and let them help you get free. You can read more about what is an abusive relationship and what to do if you’re in one, in my blogs on this topic starting HERE (add link).

Thanks for your great questions. We’re going all the way to 50, so get your unanswered question to me now! And keep moving forward on your journey toward healthier and happier relationships with the opposite sex! There’s always hope!

Thursday, Jun 25, 2009 - 9:50:23 PM
Why do some people actually like to feel pain? I have a friend who seems to always be down, but it's like he likes it that way... and he won't let anyone do anything to help him, but he will tell everyone his problems. I just don't get it.
- Ashlee

Thursday, Jun 25, 2009 - 11:15:38 AM
why do guys cheat on girls or girls cheat on guys. p.s. love your show i get alot of good of advice from listen to others w/ the same problems as me.
- natasha

Thursday, Jun 25, 2009 - 10:42:58 AM
my question has more to do with parents then the opposite sex. anyway, there's this girl i really like, we not like "dating", we've been hanging out a lot watching movies going the park mall etc.. her mom's cool with it but i haven't told my parents because they've really discoraged me from having a relationship with girls that's more then just talking in the hall at school. i'm just not sure if i should tell my parents, and maybe have to end it, or keep it a secret and hope they don't find out and lie to the girl i like if she asks me if my parents are cool with us hanging out. i just really don't know what to do!!
- Ethan

Tuesday, Jun 23, 2009 - 11:49:12 PM
Is there a right and wrong way to flirt?
- Grace

Tuesday, Jun 23, 2009 - 2:15:51 PM
I certainly found out a bunch of things i didn't know, didn't think were important, and didn't even think were true! :D Thank you for all your help and support to us all, Hannah E. Y.
- Hannah Y.

Tuesday, Jun 23, 2009 - 2:01:37 AM
Like you said society told men that showing their true feelings is a sign of weakness. And thats why guys can't ever tell you they love you. Since theyre too embarrassed, they just hurt you.
- Danielle

Monday, Jun 22, 2009 - 1:57:52 AM
IHave been there and done that. But will I realy understand men? Proble not. But thats ok. I do wish for everyone to keep on looking up and never give up on hope.
- Mystic

Monday, Jun 22, 2009 - 12:58:21 AM
I think women are more willing to pen up then men are. Thats why most women are more emotional then men.
- adrianannah

Sunday, Jun 21, 2009 - 11:58:04 PM
Why is it that men ten to get angry and effensive about their g/f having guy freinds but it's ok for men to have chick freinds and when women confront them about it they get hostile.
- Li

Sunday, Jun 21, 2009 - 11:43:17 PM
WHY DO GIRLS SAY THAT THEY LIKE YOU AS JUST A FRIEND BUT THEN THEY WILL DO THINGS OR SAY THINGS THAT HINT TO MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND???.... WHY CANT THEY JUST CUT TO THE CHASE AND JUST SAY THAT THEY LIKE YOU OR NOT INSTEAD OF PLAYIN ALL THOES STUPID GAMES???
- BRANDON

Sunday, Jun 21, 2009 - 10:45:02 PM
so what happens when yore 14 and your father cheated on your mom but you mom decided to give him another chance but now she has a warped view of love and wont let you go out with anyone? any advice for that one?
- Abigail

Sunday, Jun 21, 2009 - 8:37:06 PM
Why is it that girls want to have a good steady relationship but most guys are just there to be sexual with eachother? Im not trying to stereotype men but everywhere I go that all guys talk about.
- Mary

Saturday, Jun 20, 2009 - 10:54:59 PM
Can you fall in love with your best friend of the opposite sex when you're a teenager or is it considered just a crush?
- Leigh

Saturday, Jun 20, 2009 - 12:17:47 PM
Mr.Dawson how do you have a bf/gf relationship with the opposite sex without worring about their race or skin color becoming an PROBLEM?
- Brandon

Saturday, Jun 20, 2009 - 1:30:57 AM
Ok so here's the deal- I believe that two people are meant by God to end up together. I don't think it's just a coincidence. My current boyfriend of 6 years (the first I have ever truly loved), who I know I will eventually marry (and he agrees), says that he loved another before me (at the age of 14 mind you). And that really hurts me. Do you think it's possible for someone to truly love someone and be in love with them even if it's not the person they are meant to be with and the person they do not end up with AND at the age of 14???
- danielle

Friday, Jun 19, 2009 - 9:54:08 PM
Yeah why do we be sweet to girls and u want to date them. They end up hurtin u. I'm really tired of bein hurt.
- Michael b.