What Is Lying & Why Do We Do It?
Most everybody, at one time or another, has lied. Tell the truth now: that includes you and me. In fact, some people, sad to say, lie almost all the time. Psychologists call these people compulsive or psychopathic liars. They tell lies even when they don’t feel they have to. Everybody lies, but few understand what lying is, what it does, and how to stop it.
* How many lies do you think you have told this last week?
* Who did you tell the lies to?
* Why did you tell the lies?
* How do you feel about the lies you told now?
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Lying is saying something with the intent of creating a false belief or impression. It’s an attempt to get someone to believe something that is not true. | Even the youngest of children will lie, especially if they think by doing it they won’t get punished for something. When children first learn how lying works, they lack the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it. It takes years of watching people tell lies, and the results of these lies, to develop a proper understanding.
Sometimes a lie might seem unintentional, or it may have been told to save someone else’s feelings, for example someone may say to another: That sure is a pretty dress! when the person knows it’s ugly. We all have the capacity to lie.
There are different kinds of lies, as well as different degrees of lying. I want to spend a few weeks diving into this powerful issue, as it seems so many people I talk to have a problem with lying—whether it’s their own, or someone else’s. Let’s begin by defining what lying is:
Lying is saying something with the intent of creating a false belief or impression. It’s an attempt to get someone to believe something that is not true.
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We deceive other people because we think it serves our purposes in some way. | Julie asked, “Why does the world lie?” This is a great question—with many answers.
It was Tad Williams who said, “We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.”
Lies are typically motivated by a desire to get other people to either do something or not do something, or to make a decision in the favor of the person doing the lying. Someone might lie to get something they desire—sex, money, status, power, love, etc. But many times, a person will lie because of pride or fear. They use it for nothing more than a tool to create a favorable image of themselves. This leads to exaggeration, which is a form of lying. This is sometimes done by simply creating a fascinating, even if completely false, story.
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The big problem with lying is that it becomes an addiction. | People also lie when they are afraid of what would happen if they told the truth. Maybe they have done something wrong and are afraid of the consequences of their actions, so they lie to cover up what they did. As often said about political scandals: “It’s not the crime that gets you in trouble, nearly as much as the cover-up.”
Maybe someone you know will lie simply to get what they want. Lori said: “I’m young, but I realized quickly lustful people know how to get what they want, even if it means lying to you about how they feel.” Probably the word love is used in more lies than any other. How often a guy will say to a girl (or vice versa), “I love you,” simply to get the other person emotionally stirred-up, so they can be more easily manipulated.
Bottom line: We deceive other people because we think it serves our purposes in some way. And it’s easy!
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Lying may seem simple and harmless at first, but just like any addiction, you’ll soon find yourself trapped and entangled more than you could have ever imagined. | The big problem with lying is that it becomes an addiction. When you get away with a lie it often drives you to continue your deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves constantly trying to remember their lies, and then creating more lies to cover their previous lies. Truth becomes a feared enemy of the liar. It’s a sick and tragic cycle that doesn’t ever have a happy ending.
Linda wrote: “It's so easy for people to tell lie after lie after lie, but when they fall deeper into their tangled web of lies they almost always find themselves in an even worse situation than they were before. It's so much better to tell the truth in any situation, rather than try to lie your way back to the truth.”
I’ll close with some good advice from Stephanie: “Don’t get yourself caught up in lies—because in the end they will hurt you.” She’s right. Lying may seem simple and harmless at first, but just like any addiction, you’ll soon find yourself trapped and entangled more than you could have ever imagined.
Next week I want to uncover the different types of lies and liars. As always, I’m going to need your help. Please tell me your story about how you’ve been affected by either your own lying, or someone else’s lying. Tell me everything you know about lying. It will help me so much as I’m writing about this difficult, but powerful, topic.
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 11:03:56 PM
Well See Im With This Guy He Lives In NC. & Me + Him Hardly Talk - He's Always On The Phone With Other Girls. & People Tell Me He Has Other Girlfriends. & I Don't Know What To Do Anymore Please Help!
- Dorothhy E.
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 4:36:29 PM
In the past week, I've told soooo many lies to count. And its not like I had no choice but to lie, I just did it just because lying has become a habit. Its something I cant control anymore. And it affects most the relationships I have with people. I've lied to protect people and myself.
- Danielle
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 11:29:22 AM
i use to lie a lot just for the fun of it.
but i saw how big a problem it became.
but i have learned from my mistakes of lieing.
lately i have not lie. it's a good feeling.
but its a hard thign not to lie but its worth it.
to know that you are doing a good thing and tellin the truth.
- sunshine
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 10:52:50 AM
Lying...is a terrible thing and everybody does it! My mom is like the BIGGEST liar i know. If were going shopping or to meet my aunt my mom wont tell my step-dad what were doing or where were going, even though he wants to know before he drives us half way around the world. She lies and tells him that were just going to eat and thats it. He's always like why dont we just stay here and eat because it would be a lot cheaper. She loves to spend money. Most of my mom's life she has lied to everyone. I mean her life revolves around lies. My mom and my step-dad got into a BIG fight the other day because of all her lies and the cheating on him. He almost left her becacuse of it. Lying will get you no where in life and people shouldnt do it so much. Lying could make you lose your husband/boyfriend or the other way around, your friends, it could leave you with nothing. Its a terrrible thing i have found out.
- Chelsie
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 2:04:25 AM
is it ok to let someone lie to you if its helping someone else?
- samantha
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 2:04:13 AM
i lie alot and i can do it looking into sum1z eyes with a straight face.....i need to stop lieng because i've lost a realy close person in my life tht i loved and wanted to be with for ever over a lie... i want to change for myself but my only problem is i cant stop even when when i kno i realy need to expecialy if i kno its going to get me into more trouble!!!!!
- kylie
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 1:29:41 AM
Hi there Dawson. About three months ago I met this guy off the internet who knew exactly what to say to make a girl fall for him. I became friends with him and before I knew it I allowed his words to lead me into a relationship with him. He openly told me he loved me one day, and that's when it all started. It went wonderful for the first two and a half months, but the thing is no one approved of this relationship mainly because I met him off the internet. So I had to lie everyday just to be able to speak with him on the phone. I was apparently pretty dumb not to realize that this situation was founded on lying..on my part and his. Despite my bad relationships in the past, I let myself believe he really did love me and he wasn't saying that just to get what he wanted from me. He made me feel and believe that he was different from all the other guys. He did a pretty good job acting it out too, Since I'm a Christian, lying never comes easily to me..but I let myself compromise for this guy. Now he's been ignoring me and when he does talk to me, he talks with little respect for me. I should've seen this coming, knowing that this relationship was based off of lies in the first place. I'll be breaking up with him this Saturday and start seeking God again, though I must admit it still is hard to let him go even though I know he's trouble. I've lied so much to keep this relationship together, and I had hopes for us..but now I'm watching it all crumble and my dreams about him and I are fading away. I guess this is the price I have to pay for letting myself get caught up in lies, getting another broken heart. This situation is proof that once you tell one lie, it acts like an anesthetic. Lying numbs our conscience to the situation and we can only hope that it will wear off before it's too late.
- Summer
Thursday, Aug 6, 2009 - 12:43:51 AM
Hey! thank you for all the work do to help us teens i appreciate it alot! when i was younger i used to lie frequently cuz i didnt want my parents to be mad and stuff. so resently my step mom heard my sister (who is pretty much my best friend and my step sister) and i talking about guys. we are not aloud to date till we are 18 and she had a boyfriend. so anyways we were talking about her boyfriend (that she has now broken up with as of sunday but anyways) my step mom over heard and she thought that it was me (and of course she would assume that it was me) and started asking my sister like about this guy she thought it was and i dont even like this guy like that but she was like insisting on it. my sister told her that i didnt have a boyfriend but she didn belive her. and my sister begged me not to tell on her. also it would brake our trust with eachother that we both recently regained. so then when my step mom asked me about it and i told her that i did not have a boyfriend she wouldnt believe me cuz when i was younger i would lie to my parents. my sister did end up telling my step mom that she had the boyfriend and it wasnt me. MORAL OF THE STORY: dont lie cuz then no one will trust you.
- Dylan
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 1:23:57 PM
Good idea starting this; I've really been wanting to get someone to explain this to me and hear or in this case, read my story.
I've been suspecting for years that one of my best friends since before kindegarten is a compulsive liar. For years she's been telling outlandish tales. I used to look up to her because she's a year older than me, but I slowly came to realize how crazy her stories were and are.
Six grade was when I began to suspect her lying. She was in seventh then. She was really into wrestling, professional wrestling with John Cena and the Undertaker and ect. she told me that one day, a few famous wrestlers came to Kingsport, which is a town in TN, not long from where I live. She went and saw their show. Then, they suddenly appeared in my town, population 5,000, to wrestle at the high school. Suspicious...Okay, I thought. she said she was at the gas station and one of the wrestler guys was there. Then she said something happened and she became pregnant. With Twins. She just found out.
This, you can imagine, is crazy. Then a few weeks later she said the babies died. She also pretended to talk to him on the cell phone and she held the phone up to me one time and said it was the answering machine and that I should say hi. I caught a glimpse of the screen. There was no number dialed.
Then, the next year, she swore up and down that the major football star at school had had sex with her. And also, she said that this girl hated her because of it. And, the teacher's aid had a thing for her. And her neighbor's girlfriend had mud wrestled with her over her neighbor. It was getting out of control. I wondered how she was getting all this attention. (No offense, but she isn't the most attractive at school...I'm not trying to be mean, honest. She's got pretty traits, but, yeah.)
Then, last year, she basically stalked a guy on the marching band. She said they were secretly dating and that her boyfriend knew about it and was constantly fighting the boy because of it. She asked him out and made me give him numerous notes which he threw away and looked disgusted. The whole thing was ridiculous. and if that wasn't enough, she was also fighting another girl over her boyfriend from another school. And she had told one of my friends that she had had twins, but they were adopted and she wasn't allowed to see them. And that she had to have back surgery. Finally, she moved on, but I've never been able to really know when she's telling the truth and we've grown apart because something's off in the friendship.
I want to be her friend, but I can't stand the lying, even if it is compulsive. How do I stop it?
- Kylee
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 1:20:14 PM
a friend of mine lied to her mom about ever having sex. A week later she found out she was pregnant. Her mom was the madest at the fact that she lied about not having sex and didn't come out and tell her. She felt betrayed because she thought she and her daughter had an honest relationship.
- Bri
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 10:31:37 AM
I guess i can say I lie almost everyday. And sometimes it is for no reason. It's just something I am used to it. I'd lie in situations that I should tell the truth in. I don't know what's wrong but I am working with myself to refrain from lieing.
- Brittney
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 2:14:50 AM
I think that this is a very good topic. My sister is a compulsive liar. Just about everyday she tells probably between 10 to 15 lies. I'm not saying that I have never lied before, but she lies alot. I am a very protective person when it comes to close friends and family. And sometimes she will lie to me about someone just so she can try to get me to fight them. It makes me very upset because I don"t like drama at all. And she has lied so much that when she comes over, I hide everything that is really important to me because I'm afraid that she is going to steal it and then lie about it. I don't like that feeling, especially when it's my sister.
- Jenni
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 2:14:10 AM
I'm not good at sports or speaking in public and I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world. So, I lie to sound interesting. Most of the time it works. But, there are some smart people out there that can see what I am trying to do. I lie about silly stuff like how old I am. The poeple I know. Or how awsome everyone thinks I am. Which...no one thinks that about me. I don't need to lie...But whoever I told that lie to found me fun and exciting to talk to after I said it.
- Kiley
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 1:52:50 AM
How has lying affected my life. It ruined my marriage, I'm in the process of getting a legal seperation and once that's done I will be filing for a divorce.. I suppose it's in his nature to lie?! He would like about where he was going [going to other womans houses and trying to get with them], he would lie about phone calls and text messages [oonly reason i found out is cause he ran our phone bill to 300. going over his texts && minutes], he lies about money [taking it, spending it, leaving me with nothing to support our child], he's broken several promises to me [even though he knows how much they mean to me].. I'm just 2 1/2 months shy of my 24th birthday and we will be together 3 years in october and married 2 1/2 years.. So after all this, do I have severe trust issues you're darn right.. Am i a very strong woman, your darn right.. I will get through this and I will be the one on the top.. My daughter deserves much more than this. She does not derseve to grow up and "think" that this is what you do.. I personally don't lie to anyone.. As for the simple reason I've mentioned above.. lying gets you no where and if you cant respect me for my honesty well, dont ask my opinion..
--Angela
- Angela
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 1:42:23 AM
All my life my mother and other family members have made promises that they never kept and it has made it difficult for me to trust adults and has put a strain on my relationship with my aunt and uncle whom i now live with.
- chanel
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 1:22:07 AM
Lying actually helped me. But I feel bad about it. Okay well my ex-boyfriend who I loved soo much was dating a girl I didn't like and he knew it. Well I had on my myspace " I like him but don't wanna say anything." i really wasnt talkin about my ex. well then my ex seen it and txted me and said who do you like? I said well not you. He was like just tell me. I was like well it don't matter the guy I like has a girlfriend and so I'm not gunna tell any one. He said well what if I told you that that guy and that girl broke up and that guy likes you. Yes really!! I was like well I did like him a lot maybe he has changed. So I told him I still liked him. But at the time I was unsure of my real feelings towards him. But then we started talking and I fell hard for him this time. He is sooo amazing. My whole family don't really like him but I do. So I talked mybdad into allowing me to date him. We have a good time and tell each other everything. Sooo this lie helped me. I love him sooo much now I couldn't be happier! But I prolly shouldn't have lied.
- Kayla R.
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 12:50:11 AM
i have never lied to protect someone but i havve been lied to and it really hurts
- Logan R.
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 12:47:27 AM
i hate when ppl lie but i do it too cuz im scared......
- michelle
Wednesday, Aug 5, 2009 - 12:17:41 AM
I recently started to hear you on the radio and I wanted some advice, I as well as everyone here have been lied 2... Or lied before... I met som1 on line about 3 yrs ago.. He was from the same area I was from but at the moment he was in the army...we hit it off well he called me,text me, IM me everything,now by this time we had been talking for about 3months...and one morning my phone rings its his # but its a women talkin on the other end...I was confused she asked 4 me and I said yes its her...she's says its mannys wife!! Y r u sending my husband messages n calling him for!!?? I frozed I didn't know wat to say... He had lie 2 me,when I asked him in the beging if he had any1 he said no... My self esteem had droped..I told her I had no idea... She's there talking to me n yelling at him in the backround she tells him to get on the phone n tell me he lie to me n that he was married to her..he got on the phone n told me it was true.. I brokedown n asked y he had done this he didn't responed n I told him that the first thing I told him was that I didn't like ppl that lied n he had just done that!! Well days passed he continues to call me n tells me he's sorry I realized that I had follen in love with this guy... He tell me I was supposed to be diffent he had problems with his wife and loved the way I was that he didn't want to lose me... We r on n off I told him I had fallen for him n he did also but that I didn't want to b in the middle of this... couple months later he leaves to iraq the whole year he's ther we emailed eachother we became closer then ever but again he's still with his wife...I asked him wat he was going to do he tells me he's not sure... He gets more money being married to her n he still had couple more years to go .. I've been second plate for a while now ... His wife does not know ab us.. I've never saw this coming I have done everything I once told myself I would never do...I've tryed seeing other ppl but I just can't get him out of my heart!! He was my first n my first love also..now he's has relisted n is still with her...I can't do it anymore he comes home to me n then leaves to her...idk wat to do.. I love him, he tells me he loves me 2 but that he doesn't know wats gona happen in coupl years when he's out... One lie lead me to fall in love,iv lied to everyone one about us, iv cried, iv gotten mad at myslef for sitten here n waitin for somthing that might never b...iv asked him y me? I don't want to walk out on him bcuz I give him more support then his wife has on both deployments I love him.... Wat can I do..
- jasmine
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 8:36:23 PM
lying, everyone knows it's bad but what some people (espeically girls) do that is spread rumors about people. sometimes it's your best friend sometimes it's about someone you want to get revenge for something they did to you. It tear apart realtionships. I personally think that is the worst form of lying. Just tell the truth and if you can't say something to that persons face then dont say it behind their back.
- sydney
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 3:54:39 PM
When I was 11, I realized something. I lied a lot, and to a lot of people, for many reasons: To make myself look better, to make something more interesting, to pass of the blame. And, as I look back, I regret every lie. Once you make a habit of lieing, you cant stop. It's like being addicted, as dawson says. You can try and stop, and you might, for a while.
But then, you're telling a story that nobody around you knows. You want to be the center of attention, so you fugde the truth a bit. Or, you've broken something and someone you don't like much is close by. You blame them, saying that they distracted you. And the cycle begins again.
To this day, I still have problems with lies. I'll fudge a bit on a story, and then I mentally cringe, because I cant take it back. It's a vicious cycle. Don't let yourself get sucked in
- Courtney
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 3:50:18 PM
Hi Dawson. My boyfriend and I just broke up because there were many problems in our relationship but one of them was his lying. He would lie about stupid stuff like about my cat then he'd turn around and make up this elaborate story concerning my father which all I had to do was ask my dad about and found out it was a lie. It was like the lies just rolled off his tongue. Although all lies are hurtful, I could almost understand them if there was a reason behind them but there wasn't. Why would someone lie for no reason?
- Brandi
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 1:59:26 PM
I would like to talk about my lieing
- Aaliyah
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 9:41:51 AM
A while back one of my "friends" spread a rumor that she claimed i had said about one of my friends which was in fact false. This resulted in me losing all my friends. None of them came to me for the facts, and I had no idea why this had suddenly happened, but it really affected me. Gossiping and rumors I think can cause some of the biggest lies, and it definitely hurts people. If people would just tell the truth I think we would be able to get over things quicker than if it came to us through a lie. I really feel bad for those who are compulsive liars, because it tears apart friendships you may never get back.
- Ashlee
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 2:21:49 AM
Hey Dawson,
I just recently had a life changing experience. Im 20 yrs old and went out of the country for the first time to Israel. I am not a liar and seem to always say whats on my mind. Im one of thoes people you meet and know their whole life story in one conversation. Which i have come to realize isnt the smartest move because there are "bad" or "negative" people in this world. I think i have a stalker..what should i do? I contacted the fbi but i they couldnt open an investigation because the guy prolly gave me a phony name.
thanks so much
- Mariya
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 2:20:19 AM
I think I lie to my friends compulsively, only about how guys feel about me though. I know I'm always the "other girl." I give into pressure really easily, so I always get taken adantage of. The biggest lies I ever tell are usually just to fool myself.
- Hal
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 2:18:22 AM
The biggest lie someone has ever told me was that I was there first guy to sleep with and the truth is he had slept with many before.
- Julia
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 2:03:44 AM
i have been affected by liars. my sister is a bad liar. she does it 24-7. it is hard to trust her when she tells the truth. i dont trust her at all. we (my family) cant trust her and she is only 16. i need help. me and my family. she needs to tell the truth. i wish that she would. can you give some tips? to help? thanks bunches
- sara
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 1:26:14 AM
hey dawson,
I have a guy friend who I am really close to, but I can never tell when he is lying to me. He is always dating a girl and asks me for advice sometimes. Sometimes he really needs the advice, and sometimes the situation is weeks old and it seems like he is trying to test me. His last girlfriend was "fake". There was no evidence of her exsitence but his word and the "girlfriend" would ask me for advice on what to do. In the end she moved out of state and the guy friend now treats me differently then before. We ended up getting in a kind of fight so to speak about me talking to him to much. About a week ago, I texted him to see how he was doing because he get depressed just after minor conflicts and he told got a new girlfriend(who definetly exsists by the way). The texting conversation ended with him asking what did I really want and im afraid that if I try to talk to him he will flip out again even though he says I am the only true friend who cares. Whats going on and do you have any sugestions of what I should do?
- Alex
Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009 - 12:38:14 AM
i usually lie when people ask me how i'm doing . i tell them i'm fine but i'm actually depressed and stuff. i guess i usually lie out of fear though and it kills me inside to not let others know
- jess
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 9:56:00 PM
Lying is the worst thing. It practically ruined my whole life. I've learned that it's not worth it now. But i did lie, all the time. I would tell my boyfriend i was texting my best friend when i would really be texting a guy friend or someone he didn't like me talking to.
The biggest lie i have ever told was when i cheated on him. he found out and asked me and i said it didn't happen that people were making rumors but these one's were really true.
He broke up with me but now we are back together and i haven't lied to him since. I tell the truth to everyone. because even though it might hurt sometimes a lie will always hurt.
- Shelby
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 4:34:40 PM
It is hard to tell when people are lying to you. but in my case i found that when someone is lying they don't give you eye contact. But for most it is hard to tell
- Jenna
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 1:30:11 PM
I dated a guy who constantly lied to me. He would cheat on me with other girls all the time. When I first found out I was really upset but it seemed he knew the right things to say to get me to come back every time that I found out about him and the other girls. I ended up getting to the point to where I didn't care anymore as long as I had him and as long as he spent time with me. Because that made me feel like be cared. One day I had a wake up call, I couldn't be with someone for the rest of my life who was going to treat me this way. So, as hard as it was I ended it.
It has been almost a year now and to this day I still have trust issues. The good that came out of it is that it made me stronger and made me realize not to settle for anything but the best.
- Kelsea
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 1:11:20 PM
The Biggest lie anyone told me...When i was 14 i met a guy who told me he was 16. i formed a realtionship with and we got engaged, While this was all happening he was raping me. The Lie was that he was 25, married and not who he said he was, he also lied and pretended to be his sister telling me he had died. This lie affected me greatly and put me through alot, i had mourned his death-alone. and when i finally told someone what had happened all of these other lies kept unfolding. i felt betrayed, worthless, and stupid for falling for it. i believe he lied becasue i was an easy target, with the door wide open just waiting to get hurt. after that i've tried very hard to be honest with everyone, but sometimes it doesnt work, i lie mostly to my parents trying to keep them proud of me and trying to be the perfect daughter everyone wants.
- Jane
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 3:20:03 AM
lying does no good.
i had a boyfirend.we were together for a month and a half and he breaks up with me and says he doesnt want a girlfriend&&then he goes out with chick over the internet and does the same thing to her.and now he is dating one if mehh friends...he is nothing but a lair!lying has affected me soo muchh!it has even caused me to begin smoking again!:P
- sarah m.
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 2:38:58 AM
I never lie to anyone my friends they have stopped talking to me for the past few days they haven't talked to me what should I do?
- Michael G.
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 2:37:56 AM
Lying.... Almost 4 years ago my mom, my sister, and I moved out of state to 'start fresh"... Too bad my mom had told my dad that we were only down there because it was so much cheaper and we needed to save money, and that we would be back in a few weeks. She dragged her feet telling him it was over for a couple of months and she hurt him very badly doing what she did. My dad started drinking heavily, he didn't eat, and one day when he was hunting with my uncle, my uncle found him with a gun in his mouth about to pull the trigger... My dad also had a heart attack not too long after that. It's taken him along time to get over what my mom did and he suffered so much because of her leading him on. They had been together for about 26 years. I am angry at my mom for doing this to him, and I still worry about my dad all the time. I'm glad that my dad has now found someone who loves and cares about him, he's changed a lot because of his girlfriend and he sounds so much happier. My mom on the other hand has spent 3 years with a man who has made every female close to me feel uncomfortable, I'm one of those 4 girls by the way and even though I told my mom about how he was making us feel by looking at us in a sexual way, she did nothing until recently. I'm 16 and he had no right to make me feel uncomfortable like that... he did the same thing to my sister, and both of my sisters-in-law.. Even though the 4 of us complained, my mom didn't believe us. And though she has made him move out, she told him that the reason he had to leave was because of me telling my dad that he was doing that... She made it seem like if it wasn't for me, he would still be here. My mom doesn't want to be with this man... but she's dragging her feet just like she did with my dad. She's put all this pressure on me by letting him think she still wants to be with him... I've seen what lying can do. I try to be as honest with people as I can, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings any more than the next person does. But even though the truth hurts, deceiving someone hurts a lot more. And being honest has made my life so much happier. I never want someone to do what my mom did to my dad to me, and I never want to do that to them.
- Kerry
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 12:57:49 AM
when i was 15 and younger i lied to my parents all the time and def affected they trust with me and im now 18 almost 19 and i still rebuilding the trust i have with them its not easy thing to get back once you brake it they trust me but not alot
- kierra
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 12:56:54 AM
once i lied and it ended up getting me in trouble..... because one time i told my friend something about a girl whos friends dont really like her.
then she found out and she got really mad at me and she said i thought i could trust you. i dont like her but if i do something like that again to one of my friends i dont want them to say that.
- joneshia
Monday, Aug 3, 2009 - 12:04:37 AM
Well honestly if your being lie to that basically means your losing trust in the person. And if you keeps telling more lies, at the end you'll look bad for making all these lies up. Just like they say "The worst thing about being lied to, is knowing you weren't worth the truth".
- Laura
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 11:46:23 PM
lying...well i have a lot of things to say about that. well for me its like a drug, an addiction. i have gotten to used to lying it comes out with out me even think or relizing i am doing it. i think i am getting better but to me lying is so bad i sometimes think im lying to myself. well thats what i have to say about lying. just dont start and it wont get out of hand...!
- whitney
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 11:30:55 PM
i think lieing is wrong. I dont know a lot of ppl who do lir to me. but if they did i would be really mad.
- Rissa
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 11:24:26 PM
WOW, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, on lies and how they affect out lives when the ones we love and care about lie to us.
to me when someone lies to me and i find out that they lied to me.. I feel as if I was not worth telling the truth to start with.
am sure all of us have been lied to in one way or another. some say well it was just a litte white lie, but to me is a lie is a lie.
I have been lied to by my father when he cheated on my mother I confronted him and he deined it.
My ex when he was seeing someone else.
my kids when they did not want me to know something they did.
I made up my own qoute and it this day i use it.
this my my quote.
" Hurt me with the truth not a lie"
when someone lies to you it hurts and then the trust factor sets in and they wonder why you do not believe or trust them. go figure.
I guess the song that fits well is
Billy Joel " Honesty".
Now when someone lies to me, I just ignore it and not let if affect me.
life is to short to cling to past lies or not let go of the ones that lied to you.
sometimes the sad part of when one lies they start to believe it is the truth.
and when you confront them with the truth theyi ingore it.. because the truth to them hurts more then the lies they told.
thank you for allowing me to share
Idalia
- Idalia
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 10:32:56 PM
I used to lie to people all the time but I finally realized a couple of months ago. It really affects everybody!!
- Reginald
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 10:12:00 PM
I have really been affected my lying recently, mostly because of my ex-boyfriend. We have been broken up for 5 months, but I still love him...and I thought that he still loved me. Last week he he told me he loved me and asked me out again and I almost said yes. Turns out it was a good thing I didn't say yes because I found out he's been dating a girl for almost two months. I was extremely hurt by all this, it made me question everything I knew about him. I was really angry that he would lie to me like that and cheat on his girlfriend. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. We were best friends before this...and now I don't talk to him. It hurts too much. Lying destroyed our friendship...and my love.
- Lisa
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 9:51:59 PM
Hi Dawson, met your group at Door Creek church, Madison, WI one evening a few years ago. Lying: As hard as it may be to believe at the age of 62 I have cut my lying to a bare minimum. Lies grow, they never stand alone, they need more lies to support the first lie. No one wants to be caught at a lie. So, if you don't fess up immediately...it grows like a cancer. It cannot be stopped. It reaches others minds and can be repeated beyond your control. Look at it as selling a part of your truth (your soul, what makes you tick), For the price of saving face. I often play the word game. To a dying person, "you will lick this too, look at all the other things in your life you have beaten. The Lord willing we will get over this as well". I said this to my dad the night before he died. I spoke the truth. But, I didn't tell him how bad it looked. In a sense I lied or at least avoided the truth. This is an emotional lie. He hopefully got some strength from this. But, the relevance of what I say to someone else can effect their perspective to all things. Do I want to take responsibility for someone else and their action based on a lie? No. When younger I gave attention to a girl only because I thought this other guy was mixed up and wrong for her. I showed up when he showed up and I persisted. She fell for me and I did not know how hurt she was, when we both moved on. But, I found out from her older brother. This is a pain for me that I always remember and try to avoid.
- Steven H.
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 9:33:29 PM
hi, the biggest lie i have ever told is when my sister raped me and she told me not to tell or i would not be my sister any more, i dont talk to that sister any more but still to this day i have regreted not saying something about it... It hurts so bad and when i look at her i get that feling back in my tummy and i flinch when she comes near me.
- Tiffany
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 8:48:57 PM
Everyone has told lies in there life. i no ive lied and afterwords i feel really guilty and normally but not always either get caught or fess up. but i notice alot of relationship problems on the show. im the common person that likes to no who there dating but i may go to the extreme were i would rather be cheated on and ya id break up with u than u lie to me about who u are.if im gonna let u no everything about me then i dont want u to lie to me! anyway mi story about lying. mi boyfriend told me that he had sex with 8 diffrent girls and i could handle that cuz i new that i wasnt gonna do anything like that with him. he also said that he had been in charge of or in a gang another lie and then wen he fessed up and told me the truth after that he changed and now hes someone i dont no so theres no tellin wat other lies hes hidding from me. hes now i guy i dont love anymore mush less like and theres a part of me that wants to stay with him cuz tha before him was sweet but his lies cauzed him to lose me. and its really uncomftorble cuz i go and visit mi brother alot who lives with him. so all i have to say is be todally honest and open with who u are dating just keep tha stuff he or she doesnt have to no and if u dont want them to no dont lie. all these lies he told me becaus mi brother told him i liked bad guys. not true but i gave him a chance and he blew it with lies!
- Amanda
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 8:12:58 PM
I used to have a huge lying problem. But i had a reality check. So I stopped with the whole thing. But just recently i found myself lying to fight for a friendship. But i realized i never needed to lie. But I got rid of a friend that i didnt need in my life. So for this situation, for me, it was a good thing. but i still dont like that i lied. it was the easy way out.
- Heather
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 8:12:19 PM
I've been lied to in the worst way possible. I was 12 learning off of my favorite cousin. My hero. Then just out of no where my mother didn't let me talk to her(my cousin). I hadn't talked to her for about five years of my life. During those five years my mother has been leading me into believing that my cousin had had an affair with my dad, and that my cousin was a dirty woman(with other words.) I had always looked up to my cousin, but to hear this and have to believe the words coming out of my mother's mouth.. it was too much. Then my mother always yelled at me for it, like as if it was my fault. It made me feel so guilty, I thought about suicide many times. I even tried cutting, over dosing, and hanging myself once I just about tried shooting myself. I was never at my dad, but more at my mother. The other day I recieved a friend request on a social network and it was my cousin. I accepted thinking I should give her a piece of my mind, and so I did. She had no idea what I was talking about. It was an awful feeling, I was so confused. I don't know who's being honest about the whole "affair," but it has affected me in the worst way. Losing your hero and having to deal with this lie for a lot of my teen years. It's awful.
- April
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 7:48:19 PM
i have lied so many times in the past week, its awful. i cant stand to see anyone hurting that i tend to lie to everyone, so noone hurts but me. and it hurts alot. i have a boyfriend and i think i love him, but i have some other guys that i talk to for one reason or another and happen to find myself telling them that im single. we talk momre and eventually they tell me that they love me. and me being stupid of course i tell them back. im not even too sure that i know how many ppl i have lied to. i get agitated and really irritated lately just because i have lied and stressed about so many things its something that you should avoid at ALL COSTS.
- mariah
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 7:47:27 PM
Look, lying is simple. The only way its right, is if the truth is worse. Lying to your loved ones is also necessary if you need to protect someone from said ugly truth
- Charlie
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 4:09:16 PM
Lying has really affected me in my life, my biological dad lied to me all the time. When I was finally old enough to realize it, it took me a few years to finally get up the courage to stand up to him, and now, I haven't talked to him or seen him in 8 1/2 months, but thats how I want things, I got counceling, and that really helped me, so now, I'm moving on with my life.
[:
-Thanks, Brianna.
- Brianna.
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 2:33:15 PM
I'm living a lie, I gave up someone I loved more than anything for a smooth talker, not to say that the next guy was all bad its just people areound you are a better judge of character than you are so I ended up making a choice I'm now regretting. I'm not happy when I know I deserve the best and I have done some deceitful in return.
- Preston
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 12:37:42 PM
I have to ask. I'm a pretty blunt person, as I do believe honesty is the best policy. I usually tell the truth without thinking about it and I can be horrible with keeping secrets unless I'm determined.
However when people are blunt, other gets mad or upset. How can you stay honest without blurting out exactly what you think and hurting someone in the process?
- Roiselyn
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 2:14:46 AM
My friends ex boyfriend lied to her in though their whole relationship. i tryed to tell her everything he was doing and lieing about but she refused to beleive me. There for are relationship went down the drain. resently she came to her sences and broke up with him... she found out everything i was telling her was true and we are trying to get out friendship back on track.
- Brianne P.
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 1:02:22 AM
My ex boyfriend use to tell me all the time that he loved me and i believed him. When i finally found out that he didnt mean it, it hurt me so much. I was upset and broke up with him because i couldnt see us getting through that because it was a big deal to me and it meant nothing to me.
- Chelsea
Sunday, Aug 2, 2009 - 12:39:12 AM
Lying is most definately not something that anyone should do! U myself recently have been through a lot because of a lie I told the love of my life.
The first lie that is told will turn in to another and so on and so forth, then one person will catch another in a lie and it will be spread like wild fire that they have been caught lying. Then pretty soon when the person is actually telling the truth noone will believe them because they have told so many lies. For the sake of your family friends and love ones always tell the truth even if you are afraid of the outcome!
- angel
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