Different Types of Lies & Liars

Many of us are not aware of all the lies we tell.

Lying is almost always devastating. It hurts the person who is doing the lying, as well as the person being lied to. Sadly, it is all too common in most of our lives. Many of us are not aware of all the lies we tell. Still another person might lie all the time, afraid of other people finding out the truth about them. This develops a habit that continually drives someone to keep telling more and more lies—like Sara’s friend who damaged her willingness to trust anyone. “About two years ago, I became friends with a girl—I trusted every word she said. Too bad she was lying about everything. She never wanted to be my friend. She just wanted to come over to my house so she could fool with the guy across the street. She spread terrible rumors about me that were untrue and she [all but] destroyed my life. And to this day, I honestly don’t trust anyone.” What a tragedy. Lying can be lethal to our soul.

Jane commented to me about her own person struggles and heartbreak over her inner struggle with lying. She said: “I've tried very hard to be honest with everyone, but sometimes it doesn’t work. I lie mostly to my parents—trying to keep them proud of me and trying to be the perfect daughter everyone wants.” I understand there can be a lot of pressure inside your head telling you to try and control what other people think about you. This is what drives most people into telling lies.

Yet there are several different types of liars. This week I just want to touch on a few of them I think are the most important for you to know about. Perhaps you will find yourself in this list.

Four different types of liars

The occasional liar is not perfect, but is usually respected for his/her strong attempt at being a truthful person, and humble enough to admit their mistakes.

1. The Occasional Liar – These people seldom lie. But when they do they are blown away by their actions and feel guilty for what they have done. These types of people are the ones who are quick to seek forgiveness from the person their lied to. The occasional liar is not perfect, but is usually respected for his/her strong attempt at being a truthful person, and humble enough to admit their mistakes.
   
   Jess’s comment explains more about the occasional liar. “I usually lie when people ask me how I'm doing. I tell them I'm fine, but I'm actually depressed and stuff. I guess I usually lie out of fear though and it kills me inside to not let others know.” If we were all honest with ourselves, we would have to admit we are at least an occasional liar.



2. The Frequent Liar – The frequent liar goes about his/her life lying every which way. This person is not concerned about covering his tracks, or making sure his lie makes sense. Everybody knows this person is lying because he is sloppy with his lies. This person has very few friends, because people get sick of his obviously twisted stories.
   
   Kiley, with her own confession, admits to being a frequent liar. “I'm not good at sports or speaking in public and I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world. So, I lie to sound interesting. I lie about silly stuff like how old I am, the people I know, or how awesome everyone thinks I am. Which...no one thinks that about me. There are some smart people out there that can see what I am trying to do.”

After being found out, the smooth liar tends to move on to others to whom he can apply his dark talents.




3. The Smooth Liar – The smooth liar is just what their description sounds like—this person has become very smooth and skilled at telling lies. There are those that say they can pick out a liar every time, but that’s not necessarily so when it comes to the smooth liar. This liar is so good with words and body language people tend to believe him even when they know he has a reputation of being a liar. Yet, all the time, the smooth liar knows he’s lying. These people are fun to be around, and very entertaining, but after being found out, the smooth liar tends to move on to others to whom he can apply his dark talents.
   
   KeIsea commented to me about a guy she dated who was the very definition of a smooth liar: “I dated a guy who constantly lied to me. He would cheat on me with other girls all the time. At first, I was really upset. But it seemed he knew the right things to say to get me to come back every time. I got to the point where I didn't care anymore as long as I had him, and as long as he spent time with me—because that made me feel like he cared.”



4. The Compulsive Liar – This person lies when they don’t have to, even if telling the truth makes more sense than the lies they tell. These people have an addiction to lying, and they simply cannot stop. They are out of control. They spend hours studying situations trying to come up with more lies that will allow them to maintain all their previous lies. These people are totally untrustworthy and end up unable to keep friends. A compulsive liar ends up a lonely, sad person who tragically lies the most to their own self.
   
   Angela commented about how her compulsive liar husband has ruined her life. “He would lie about where he was going (when he was actually going to other women’s houses), he would lie about phone calls and text messages (running our phone bill to over $300), he lies about money (taking it, spending it, leaving me with nothing to support our child), and he's broken several promises to me (even though he knows how much they mean to me).”

Thursday, Aug 13, 2009 - 12:21:19 AM
My former bestfriend always lies to me. According to her, she IS my friend, but I think not. she doesn't seem like my friend and we don't really click like I do with the rest of my friends. It gets so tiring, I feel like I'm going in circles.
- Lauren

Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 - 10:32:20 PM
I wouldn't say I lie a lot, because I don't. But (there's always a but...) about 6 months ago "I" ordered something over the internet (well, my brother did with my name, and I let him. He said I was 18--I'm only 14) and I got it. The box said "FREE" so I was like, "cool, I guess I'll keep it... it's free." I've lied about it since I got it, hid it, and I still haven't paid for my "free" internet gift. If I would have owned up to it (let my brother get in trouble with me....) it would only have cost around $30.. now it's over $260. I'm still trying to decide how to tell my parents, I feel like I've already disappointed them too much (cutting, and stuff like that--which I do regret) to tell them; I've lied to them a lot. The know almost nothing about me, except for who I pretend to be-I wish I could clear the air with them but I know they wouldn't accept the true me, so instead I lie to please them. I wish I would have just told the truth. But you can't change the past; you need to learn from it and move on.
- Jordan

Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 - 10:07:46 PM
When I was little, I told lies all the time, and never felt guilty about them. But then something happened that I needed to tell someone about, and nobody believed me. My early lying paved the way for years of heartache. Now, I never lie. Ever. It's just not worth it. When you need the trust of others that you've lost, it's the worst feeling in the world.
- Jessie

Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 - 9:14:59 PM
I am the ocassional liar. I do it when people ask me how I am doing or whats going on or something along those lines.
- Kirsta

Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 - 1:58:17 AM
I was in love with a girl over a month ago. During this time, I found that I was to be evicted from my house. The last i spoke to her she said she'd be hanging out with a friend and would be able to answer her phone. Well, I was in so much pain over this bad news that I had to leave her a voice mail. She called me back and said she was going over to a girls house and was comforting me during a rough time. Well, she called me and admitted that she did not go over to her friends house, rather her ex boyfriend. She then told me that he talked her into "doing it" with him. I was very hurt by this because she knew I loved her. However, I loved her so much that I did forgive her. She did lie to me, but she was really protecting a loved one. If she had mentioned going to her ex-boyfriends house, I don't know what kind of shape I would be in. Call me crazy, but i did forgive her because she was very mad at herself for this. Unfortunately, she no longer loves me and I am currently trying to save our friendship...
- Ryan

Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 - 12:20:38 AM
I lied about my father for several years. I never told anyone he sexually abused me. Even now, I sometimes deny it. I want to protect him. I desperately want to protect the man who could not even protect his own daughter. In that situation, had I told the truth my mother (who has emotionally abusive herself) would have flipped out. I waited until after I was 21 to tell anyone so that I wouldn't be a minor and charges wouldn't be pressed.
- Annika

Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009 - 10:43:53 PM
The people that have lied to me the most have been guys; like my dad and several boyfiends. Its like when someone you rele care about lies to you it's like they have just broke your heart. All lies are painful, some more than others and it takes time to get past some of them. because of the lies that most guys have told me I find it hard to rele trust any guy. And when I start to feel like I can trust them I remember some of the lies I've already been told and compair them to something I was just told.
- Macey

Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009 - 4:38:48 PM
Is withholding information unless specifically asked lying, because I don't usually tell outright lies but I have withheld info. The main thing I have lied about in the past was cutting, I did it for 7 years without anyone knowing about it, now ice been clean for a year and 3 months, but I wish I hadent of lied about it now BC I could have gotten help with my addiction much earlier and soared much heartache lying hurts you and those around you.
- sara

Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009 - 1:31:36 AM
I read your blogs and find them very interesting and like to listen to what you have to say or right. So I read your blog about lying and was trying to place this boy and what type of liar he is and he just didn't fit in any of them I would like to tell u my story and would love your opinion. this boy ( whose name I would like to remain anonymous) we were best friends since 3rd grade we were the closest beings u could find not as in we hung out together all the time we clicked spiritually I can't really explain the bond we had. we’ve dated about five times throughout the years but we never really clicked on the love level we were all ways wouldn’t put it all forth in the relationships we never kissed or anything but when we would brake up we would still have that bond and it never changed. In the last two years his life has crashed. He was very close to both his parents as was i they had a joke that i was there daughter in law his mother left his family and got together with this drug addicted guy. his parent ( the boys) were high school sweat hearts and only had one child. even though his life got rough i stayed buy his side and did all i could to help him he changed a little but that’s understandable he fell in love with one of my girl best friends she loved him to they really loved each other they dated the hole 8th grade year i dated other guys and had no felling for the boy still good friends with both of them while then things got sticky the girl he loved broke up with him she called me and talked to me about it she just didnt love him like she though she did. thats when his mind started to slip he was bent and making her feel guilty a tryed to direct him from that path but he wouldn’t valentines day came around he spent 100$ on roses with a very hurt full note to her time went on he went out with a girl from his karaty class but he didn't like her this is when the boy i new disappeared we were both dating some one else and he would come over to my house alot like when he need comfort and i was all ways there for him i had not noticed the thing that taken over yet he stared to do things like touch my sides and i just blew it off. i still had no feeling for him in tell one night i had a dream of him he was standing there and that was all i could see i ran to him and we kissed i woke up and was i felt love for him and told my mother about it she said the feeling would go away it didnt we flirted all the time one night he called me and we talked in tell 3 in the morning in that time i told him i liked him ( i did not tell him i loved him) he told me he liked me to but he said he didnt want to be the guy that broke up with his girlfriend for another girl. i though that was sweat when it should have been the red flag far a time the things went the same i no longer had a boyfriend he still keeps his one night i got a call from a friend that moved saying that the boy dumped his girlfriends and they were going out when igot of the phone with her i had not told her any thing that had been going on between us i called him to confirm the story he said it was true i said that was all need to no and hung up i didnt talk to him the next day he called me that night i answered he explained he asked her out out of pity i believed him he broke up with her we talked for a while he then told me he loved me i and told him the same during that night he said all these sweet things but told me he didnt want any one to no she the other girl wouldnt get mad at him so we when to school and didnt act any different after school he txted me and told me he didnt mean any thing he said and broke up with me i was crushed and was no longer going to be friend with him but then his grandpa died and his dad started beating him and i became friend with him because i need to be there for him but he then became very curl but that was understandable but he was curl to me he would bring up the way i fell for him and would make very hurt ful comments i couldn’t stand it any more and left him i couldn’t be around him he all ready changed my view of the world i couldn’t help him with my friendship and he was mentally hurting me was what i did selfish?
- kayla

Monday, Aug 10, 2009 - 6:58:24 PM
I am in the military, I met my husband through a friend, he at the time was also in the military. I was stationed at Ft. Lewis and he was stationed at Ft. Leavenworth. We had a long distance relationship for 7 months and then got married. Before we got married he told me that he had been married once before and had a son. I was perfectly okay with that. The day after we got married, I got an email from a girl that I didnt know (his 2nd wifes sister) telling me how the whole time my husband and I were in a distance relationship that my husband was married and sleeping in bed with his wife at the time and that his wife at the time was pregnant. I was so shocked and didnt want to believe the news that I confronted him about it. He admitted to me that the whole time we were in a distance relationship that he was married (to his second wife) and that she was pregnant. Come to find out that his divorce from her was final 1 week before we got married. I was so upset and shocked at the information I had got that I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to move on. We are both from the same state so a few days after we got married we went to our homestate to meet each others family. He met my entire family and when it came time to meet his family they all of a sudden went out of town on vacation. I let that slide to and didnt think to much of it. I later came to find out that they didnt go out of town anywhere, he just never told them that he was married to me. Needless to say the marriage did not last. I learned my lesson about getting to know someone better before I get married and meeting the family first.
- Krystin

Monday, Aug 10, 2009 - 1:49:12 PM
I only lie when I tell ppl I AM doing good when I AM sad or depressed. I tell them tht because I don't want ppl knowing about what I go through and how my personal life is.
- SheRiAh

Monday, Aug 10, 2009 - 1:41:56 AM
When it comes to lie'n im pretty good at not doing it. But this one guy i grew up with tells lies like its no tomorrow. && what i dont get is that i actually thing he believes every word of the lie is true. I think its rediculous.
- Bree

Monday, Aug 10, 2009 - 1:41:02 AM
i only lie to adults.. and when i feel threatened. like my parents... and teachers.
- sarah

Monday, Aug 10, 2009 - 1:14:24 AM
i admit to being a frequent liar. When i was little my dad just kinda left my mom, he was still partly in my life but for the most part he didnt care, my mom was upset but still happy that he was gone cause all he wanted was drugs... after he went into treatment he stated cleaning himself up, my mom and him started getting along better and things started getting really good for me and my brother too. My mom found out later that he was still doing drugs... my mom gave up on him and about 4 or 5 years later my mom got married to a guy me and my brother hated, there still together. My 15 year old brother moved out. im very hurt by all of this, just a couple of months ago i found out that i have a ten year old and a 1 year old sister... so i lie to my friends a lot to try to make my dad sound better, and to try to make my life sound better. Recentley my step brothers and sisters have just changed to my school, and they started hearing about the things that i have been telling people and they would tell them the real story, so everybody started hating me and giving up on me and telling me i should move away from this school and told me i was a worthless lier and said many other things. I Started cutting myself. I was crying myself to sleep everynight and i was crying in the shower so that nobody knew how much pain i was in. I'm not good at really anything, i lie about stupid things so that i sound like there is more to me. i dont no what to do anymore. The way i see it, i cant go back to that school with everybody hating me, Cause i live in a really really small town, Everybody knows who i am, and i just need help...
- Amber

Sunday, Aug 9, 2009 - 10:32:18 PM
I use to lie to my old boyfriend And with my new boyfriend I promised myself I wouldn't and I have done a good job at it I still only lie to my parents because they freak out when I tell them so why do it.
- Alison

Sunday, Aug 9, 2009 - 10:05:37 PM
Umm im lying to my parents bout being emo cuttin myself nd being gothic and bing bi nd stuff so i feel really bad but i cnt help it ):
- Chelsea s.

Saturday, Aug 8, 2009 - 9:40:06 AM
I used to lie to my wife all the time. About where i was going and what I was doing I would lie about finances etc.. I was good at what I did, then God got a hold of me. Shook me up a little praise God!! A little thing always turns into a big one, so people reading this I know at times its hard to tell the truth but please do it ok. Because in relationships with people trust and communication is one key to a lasting relationship with that person and the tongue is like a spark you can set a whole field on fire with that one lie
- Eric

Saturday, Aug 8, 2009 - 1:48:45 AM
I have to admit. I'm guilty of lying. Sometimes, it's weird, but I lie when I don't even have a reason to hide the truth. Most of the time my biggest lie is when people ask me if I'm okay, or what's wrong, and I say nothing, which usually isn't true. I have a lot on my mind all the time and it depresses me but it's too emotional of a subject to bring up with people.
- Maddie

Friday, Aug 7, 2009 - 9:39:54 PM
the biggest lie i have told is that i wasnt a virgin. the reason i did that is so i could still have the respect from my dad b/c i was suppose to wait till marraige bt i didnt b/c i thought i was in love and i wasnt. i understnad that i would have disappointed my dad but i could of gotten his respect back. so i have not lied about my life to him. now im not saying i dont tell him everythng unless he asks me.
- Nicole

Friday, Aug 7, 2009 - 8:35:28 PM
My experiences with lying are that lying never pays, it is better to tell the truth.
- Ben