The Different Kinds of Lies You Tell

No one would deny that lying is a bad habit. Yet many people are clueless as to how big of a problem it is. Sadly, lying can become an unconscious and destructive habit. Let’s talk about the different kinds of lies and see if you recognize them.

1. White lies: A white lie is often called the least serious of all lies. People tell white lies claiming to be tactful or polite. For example, it could be making up an excuse for not going to a party, or showing appreciation for an undesirable gift. But telling white lies after awhile can cause conflict with others because over time they understand the insincerity. That is why white liars can lose their credibility.
   
   

   Patterns of white lies made over time can create distance between you and others, and destroy your credibility.

   Brandon admitted: “Sometimes I say I have plans to do something when I don’t, just to get out of having to tell someone I don’t want to go with them. It seems like the better option, than saying ‘I don’t like you.’” There are other ways Brandon could turn down somebody’s offer than telling a white lie.


Sheriah said: “I only lie when I tell people I am doing good when I am sad or depressed. I tell them that because I don't want people knowing about what I go through and how my personal life is.” By telling this white lie she is showing disrespect for the person who asked a question about her.


2. Broken promises: Broken promises are a failure to keep one’s spoken commitment or promise. Broken promises can be especially damaging when the person who made the promise had no intentions whatsoever of keeping their word to begin with.
   
   A fellow blogger wrote: “I told a girl I know that I’d go with her to the game even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to go. I wasn’t trying to hurt her, but I didn’t know what else to do.” What my friend doesn’t understand is that lying to the girl and breaking the promise does double damage, causing hurt feelings that could have been avoided. By breaking his promise he did great damage to her hope. She no doubt was all excited about going to the game with him, only to have her hopes dashed. Broken promises can lead to broken lives.
   
   
3. Fabrication: Fabrication is telling others something you don’t know for sure is true. Fabrications are extremely hurtful because they lead to rumors that can damage someone else’s reputation. Spreading rumors is not only a lie but is also stealing another’s reputation.
   
   Paul wrote: “I admit that I love spreading rumors. It’s all about telling lies about someone you don’t like. It usually works.”
   
   
4. Bold-faced lie: A bold-faced lie is telling something that everyone knows is a lie. It’s simple and sometimes cute for a little child to tell a bold-faced lie about not eating any cookies, even though there’s chocolate all over his or her face. As we get older, we try to be more clever with our cover-ups. Some people never grow up and deal with their bold-faced lying even though others know what they're saying is completely false. When people hear a bold-faced lie they are resentful that the liar would be so belittling of their time and intelligence.
   
   

   Spreading rumors is not only a lie but is also stealing another’s reputation.

   Sara said: “I hate lying. Especially when I know everybody knows I’m lying. I feel so dumb.” Sara isn’t the only one who feels dumb. The people she lies to could also feel the same way.
   
   
5. Exaggeration: Exaggeration is enhancing a truth by adding lies to it. The person who exaggerates usually mixes truths and untruths to make themselves look impressive to others. An exaggerator can weave truth and lies together causing confusion even to the liar. After awhile the exaggerator begins to believe his or her exaggeration.
   
   Amber confessed she thinks exaggeration actually helped her: “I'm not good at really anything, so I lie about stupid things so that I sound like there is more to me.” An exaggerator is a tragic person because he or she feels so little about themselves that they have to make up stories to look good to others.
   
   
6. Deception: A deceiver tries to create an impression that causes others to be misled, by not telling all the facts, or creating a false impression.
   
   Jon admitted he was a deceiver: “Sometimes I don’t like being seen as smart, so I’ll joke around about how smart I am just to try and get people to think that I’m not that smart. It works sometimes. It doesn’t feel like lying, I guess I’m just pretending to be something I’m not.” Causing deception is a powerful and hurtful tool. It can be very subtle yet deadly.
   
   

7. When people hear a bold-faced lie they are resentful that the liar would be so belittling of their time and intelligence.

   Plagiarism: Plagiarism is both stealing and lying. It consists of copying someone else’s work and calling it your own. Plagiarism is a very serious act. Some college and graduate students have even been kicked out of school because of it.
   
   Scott asked a question and admitted his plagiarizing: “Is it lying to copy something from the internet and call it your own? I do this sometimes when working on a paper for school and I run out of time.” Scott seems to be confused about his plagiarizing. Yes Scott, it is lying. Just because it is easy to do does not make it right.
   
   
8. Compulsive lying: Compulsive lying is often caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention; in fact, the compulsive liar finds it all but impossible to stop. A compulsive liar tells their mistruths even when telling the truth would be easier and better.
   
   Bree said: “This guy I grew up with tells lies like its no tomorrow. What I don’t get is that I actually think he believes every word of the lie is true. I think it’s ridiculous.” It is more than ridiculous, it is a tragedy.

Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009 - 7:45:42 PM
Hi Dawson, I am a 19 years old, I have 2 wonderful children, a 2 year old girl and a 7 month old boy, and I have a great feoncee whos also good father. We have struggled to get to where we are today job and money wise, and everything is finally coming together.. But one small thing, see, I grew up with my Mom, shes the one who raised me. My Father has been in and out of the picture since I was 5. He dont care about his children nor his only 2 grand babies, I gave his un-counted chances to change and be in our lives to play his "Father/Grandpa" roll. He blew it everytime. He would borrow large amounts of money from us, and when we would really need it back, he would come up with excuses to not pay us back, or he would just ignore us. Knowing we knew he had the money. But its not just his greed that gets to me.. Its his Lies, broken promises, his wife, and his lifestyle. He dont care about anything but himself and his wife, Hes an alcholic, Hes seriously on the dead beat dad list, He owes over $5000 in child support, he Hasnt bought a thing for the last 14 years for any of his kids, He has 5 kids, and supports NONE They have a 7 year old daughter which is my sister And they dont even care about what she wears, or how she feels. They are selfish people... and get this, they are moving out of state, which I dont give a flying F***, But his other 4 kids might, and he said he dont want them to know, cause he dont want child support to find him. What should I do? I cant talk to him. I havnt for almost 3 months, and I cant stand his wifes comments, shes 25, and im 19... can you imagine that? It sucked going on the last 8 years seeing her face everytime I tryed to spend father/daughter time with him. She wouldnt let him, She wants him to forget about all us, and move on. And thats what he is doing. I am so angry, and hurt. My kids dont have any grandpas, because he is the only blood one alive. Its allready confirmed, im not talking to him ever again... im done, but What can I do legally to get this guy to do the right thing? child support hasnt even done anything, I know fathers who loose their license over not paying, even going to jail what about him?? Hes even on probation, drinking, and nothing is bieng caught... Im so irratated. Thank you for reading this long letter, I have so much to say... -Lynetta
- Lynetta

Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009 - 2:09:56 AM
I was lied to my whole life by my mother. everyday it was something new. i watched her lie to her friends, while i new the truth. she over exagerated, she broke promises, she told deception lies. she was a compulsive liar, fabracation, and bold face lies. After living with her for 14 years, i sometimes find my self exagerating, and making up stories to seem cool. i dont ever want to be like my mother, so how do i stop before i hurt my family, friends, and myself?
- jennifer

Tuesday, Aug 18, 2009 - 3:40:40 PM
I try not to lie but if i see someone that i like pulling away from me cause they think im weird ill start telling lies to get me closser to them and i end up living this horrible lie and im trying to stop but it made it more clear thanks keep doing what your doing..
- hannah

Tuesday, Aug 18, 2009 - 2:05:58 AM
Thank you for doing a serious of blogs about lying and how it affects not only the people being lied to but also the people doing the lying. My parents raised me and my siblings with a very simple rule about messing up and lying to cover it. If you screw up and can be honest about what you did and why, the punishment is negotiable. If you lie to cover the mistake, your life will be MISERABLE until I'm bored with making you miserable. Now, as a young adult, I am constantly trying to explain to friends that lying is just a giantic magnifying glass that makes a tiny bad thing so very much worse. One friend cheated on her husband with several different guys over the course of two years. A month or so ago she split with her husband and finally admitted to me that it had become so easy to lie to him that it didn't feel like she was doing anything wrong anymore. I told her that I couldn't spend time with her until she started being more honest. She is back with her husband now and they are in counseling and both of them feel like they are stronger than ever. Lies are powerful. So is the truth.
- Heather

Monday, Aug 17, 2009 - 3:35:14 AM
dawson i listien to 106.1 everyday allday and when i hear them storys they tell you it remindes me off the old me from along time ago untill u told me to get and i took your advice and now i have a job house and a car so thankyou dawson
- michelle

Monday, Aug 17, 2009 - 1:32:32 AM
as most people; i have my lessons;& and learned from my mistakes. but here's what happened;, about a year ago i lied to keep me from not getting caught at whatever i've done. but as time went on, my life was all lies, in inside;& outside. now, what so ever; my boyfriend is getting to be just like i was. i've changed but i think i might be changing to be like i was because i'm some what always with him. i love him so much; but i don't know what to do anymore. i thought dating a guy like that; might be okay;& i wouldn't be changing again. but i now think that if i do change, it would go a long way, i mean, me going to jail, or something like that. i'm so sacred, i dont wanna be like i was before.. HELP !
- Jennifer B.

Monday, Aug 17, 2009 - 12:53:25 AM
A friend of mine would always tell me things about his relationships and ask for my advice. Eventually I would find out he was either lying to impress everyone else or the information was a month old because he needed my help with a more current problem. It always hurt when he told me the truth because he knows I will always be there if he needs my help. Now I cant tell whether he is lying or not and it makes me feel betrayed especially when he now calls me his best freind. I just dont know what to believe any more.
- Alex

Monday, Aug 17, 2009 - 12:07:02 AM
My comment to this blog is that lying seems to be most peoples thing these days they do it all the time. For example...my dad he tells my twin sister and me that he will do something with us for our birthday or some special day and he never shows up. so me and my sister go some were and we see him drinking agian. it seems to be one of his biggest lies is not drinking when half the time we see him. what can i do to stop him with lying about things that hurt me and my sister big time?
- Amanda

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 10:51:21 PM
I have a lying problem and it has been causing issues ever since I was a little kid. The worst part is how I have to constantly break ties with people so I won't get caught in the lies I've told. So time and time again I find myself all alone, with no friends and a lot of places I have to avoid. And I can't even blame anybody else because it's my fault for telling those lies in the first place and then not being able to face up to them. And each time I have to break ties with someone I tell myself that it's the last time I'm going to wind up alone; that next time I make a friend or meet a group of people, I am going to be honest about who I am. But then each time I get another chance I find myself lying again and I don't know how to stop. Sometimes I think that I would rather not be here at all than have to watch myself screw up over and over and over again. And sometimes I just resign myself to the fact that this problem will never go way and I just have to learn to live with it, even if that means not ever really living at all. I've already made so many mistakes that I can never undo or make right. There is no hope for me to get better, there is no kind of forgiveness that can free me. So if anyone out there is just realizing that they have a problem, I'd advise you to stop now while you can - before you get in so far over your head that you can never get out.
- Anonymous

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 10:21:25 PM
I am not a teenager, however, I am a single Mom of a teenage daughter. Her continuous lies have created a huge barrier in our relationship. I always catch her in lies and it hurts. The lying escalated to sneaking around doing things with friends I dont approve of and that hurts. Now she has informed me she is gay (through a note left at home) and has run off to another state with her lesbian girlfriend. I know it is difficult being a teenager, especially in this day and time. Yet, it is equally as challenging being the parent of a teenager.
- Rebecca

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 8:51:14 PM
Well this is an issue that I have had to deal with. Your comments are right on the money.I some times feel that it is difficult to tell the truth especially when discussing something personal, that could make or brakea friendship.
- carlos

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 8:20:35 PM
In elementary a lot of people pushed me around and tried to take advantage of me. Since I was horribly lonely back then I always fell for their tricks about being sorry and that they would never do it again. Of course I was wrong, and they just kept treating me like dirt and expecting me to be nice to them at the same time. By the time I got to sixth grade I had completely closed myself up and refused to let anyone who wasn't already a friend to be a friend.
- Roiselyn

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 5:41:31 PM
mr.dawson i listen to your radio show alot and you have helped me threw a lot of things but me and my ex girlfriend broke up a few months ago and im having a hard time tryign to let go any advice please tell me i need help bad
- patrick w.

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 4:20:29 PM
One of my friends is a compulsive liar and many times we catch her when she says she is sick or hurt when she really isnt. She will also say many things that arent true about other people and spread rumors and it is really bothering a lot of my friends because it is starting to be hard for many of us to believe what she says. Also, if somebody tries to talk to her about a problem they have, she ends up telling other people when they want it to be confidential. I don't want to talk bad about her like this because I really care about her, I just dont know what to say to her if I do.
- Holly

Sunday, Aug 16, 2009 - 12:36:42 PM
Hi my name is brooke. Lying had been a huge part of my life cause of my dad. He has lied to me constintly since my parents got a divorce. He try to tell me he is the good parent and that my mom is an unfit mother. He lies to us(my brothers and I) about going out to bars and drinking. He doesn't think we will find out but he is always wrong! I tell him how much it hurts us each time he does lie but he just keeps on lying. The worst lie he has told me was that he was with my brother and not at the bar, I was with my brother. I freaked out at him and told him he had to pick one or the other, either his kids or the bottle. He called my mom and told her that he she is trying to make us hate him and that he hopes that she died.(she has breast cancer) he still to this day doesn't know how much it hurts! I have thought about suicide because of him. So did one of my brothers. He wants me to forgive him but I'm not going to until he puts the bottle down for good! Do you have any good advice for me?
- Brooke

Friday, Aug 14, 2009 - 6:15:41 PM
When I lie I guess it would be concidered a white lie as you call it. Like when one of my friends will ask me how I am and I don't want to tell them because I'm REALLY depressed or I don't want them knowing what's going on I'll say I'm fine. But the thing is, people know when there is something wrong with me because I ALWAYS smile and look happy, so when I'm not so happy it's hard for me to hide it.
- Hannah B.