How to Stop Lying, Pt. 2

In my previous blog, I talked about three things to do to help you stop lying: Admit you have a problem, Remind yourself of how lying messes up your life, and Tell someone when you lie. As promised, I want to give you a few more solutions to help put an end to this dreadful habit.

Deliberately broken promises are lies that lead to broken hearts.

1. Be realistic about what you promise others. Deliberately broken promises are lies that lead to broken hearts. Many lies begin as a way to cover up the fact we can’t possibly do everything we said we were going to do. Be honest about what you’re capable of doing, admitting to yourself and others your limitations, and you won’t feel a need to lie.
   
   
2. Talk to others about their expectations of you. You may have parents, friends or teachers who you think are expecting too much out of you. This causes you to feel like you must lie about how you’ve fallen short of their expectations. Come to agreement about what is reasonable for them to expect, without selling yourself short. Kierra said: “When I was 15, I lied to my parents all the time and it definitely affected their trust with me. Now I’m almost 19 and I’m still rebuilding the trust I have with them. It’s not an easy thing to get back once you break it.”
   

   Wrong actions almost always lead to lies.

3. Try to figure out what pressured you to lie. What were you trying to hide? What would have been a better way to tell the truth? For example, all addicts feel they must lie to cover up their addiction. The more they cover up their addiction, the better they get at lying, and deceiving. Almost every lie has a reason behind it. Why we lie, it may feel like a good reason, it’s just not a good enough one. Wrong actions almost always lead to lies. The reason Hannah lies is to control people around her. That in itself can be an addiction. “I try not to lie but if I see someone that I like pulling away from me because they think I’m weird I’ll start telling lies to get me closer to them. I end up living this horrible lie.”
   

   The more we tell others the truth, the easier it is to continue to do it.

4. Practice telling the truth.When you start to feel the urge to lie, stop and think for a moment. Think about what the other person would feel about you if they knew you were lying. Think about how you would feel if people lied to you all the time. And then, as painful as it may seem, tell the truth. The more we tell others the truth, the easier it is to continue to do it. Lying is a bad habit. Telling the truth is a good habit. Work on breaking your bad habit by replacing it with a good one. Angel said: “It spreads like wildfire when someone is caught lying. Then when the person is actually telling the truth, no one will believe them because they have told so many lies. For the sake of your family, friends, and loved ones—always tell the truth even if you are afraid of the outcome!"
   

   The freedom of the truth will be liberating.

5. Commit to a life of honesty, at all costs. Telling the truth might be horribly uncomfortable for you, but you’re starting to walk down a path of honesty and integrity, turning yourself into the person you desire to be. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t lie and make something up. Say, “I don’t know.” The freedom of the truth will be liberating. Kerry said: “I've seen what lying can do. I try to be as honest with people as I can, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings any more than the next person does. But even though the truth hurts, deceiving someone hurts a lot more. And being honest has made my life so much happier.”
   

Friday, Sep 18, 2009 - 1:08:43 AM
i think i just came VERY close to making my parents break-up. idk if this is how 2 contact u buy email
- evan

Thursday, Sep 17, 2009 - 1:13:17 AM
hey Dawson. me and my friend have been fighting over jealousy. heres where it started. me and my friend have been friends for about 1 year. but we never haved argued. if we did it was over somthing little. but when he got with his girlfriend our friendship went down the drain. his girlfriend started talking to me alot. and then it all started. he started being so jealous i had to leave the house. what should i do about his attitude about all of this. do you think i should stop talking to her all together? or should i just tell him to stop being like this? thnxs - Anthony H
- anthony h.

Wednesday, Sep 16, 2009 - 8:00:57 PM
hey Dawson, earlier tonight i was listening to your show about a fella who had relationship problems with his x who is with another man, but she says she loves him and wants to be with him. I had the same problem, while i was deployed she had been with someone els the whole time i was gone. and when i came back she told me she loved me and wanted to be with me. but yet she couldnt let the other guy go at the same time. i stayed and i fought hard to win her heart at the end she was playing games all along and now she is with that other guy. so i think that fella who called earlier should stop wasting his time and the sooner he lets her go the better and less painfull it will be in the future, because she is leading him on, and the other guy to. if she really loves him and wanted to be with him, she would not be with another man and wouldnt be so hard to say goodbye to the other guy. I let my ex go, and i am happier then ever. he is wasting his time by sticking around and he is digging a bigger hole for him self and at the end it will be really hard to climb back out, i know it took me awhile. but life goes on and you learn ,so that it doesnt happen again in the future.
- Ronnie

Tuesday, Sep 15, 2009 - 6:56:04 PM
I'm still in love with me ex. and I'm with somebody else. My ex was the only guy that treated me right, he broke up with me because he said he wasn't happy because he could't see me because of school and work. Well, I've got somebody else and he says he loves me and everything and I want to say it back but I just can't. My heart won't let my ex go. I don't know what to do, can you please help me?
- Shelby

Monday, Sep 14, 2009 - 10:57:20 PM
Hello I recently heard a tiny bit of your show on a radio channel I usually listen to during the day, however, I was setting my alarm and caught your show. Anyway, I recenly had to call the police to get my ex-husbanc out of my house and now I have to let go of him for the final and last time. He's an alcoholic and I was blinded to think he'd stopped. I just bought a house in May and thought I had a commanion for life and now am alone in a house that I'm still getting use to. I am doing the right thing, right? I miss him, but keep tying to tell myself that this is better than putting up with his lies and not knowing what he'll do next. I try to keep busy with work and school/trying to get a degree, but at night it hits me the most. Thank you for listening. SJH
- Sandra J. H.

Monday, Sep 14, 2009 - 10:58:22 AM
I'm going through some hard times with a guy, I'd like to know if you believe in "once a cheater always a cheater" and what you think about it.
- Danielle

Monday, Sep 14, 2009 - 1:56:02 AM
When you're honest, you don't feel so lost all the time.
- Sarah

Monday, Sep 14, 2009 - 1:20:09 AM
I still have feelings for my ex and i dont know what to do...we was going out for 1year and 2months and i tried to be friends with him but he told me to leave him alone. I jus wanna know what should i do??
- Cierra

Sunday, Sep 13, 2009 - 10:12:07 PM
i dont know how to talk to some one without calling and when i called hes like "give me your date of birth" so i freaked out cuz my mom tells my never too tell information anywaz .... i dontknow i really want to talk because im going through some really hard times but i just dont know and my friends and family dont understand either ...
- Kristin

Sunday, Sep 13, 2009 - 7:48:10 PM
If you just be who you are you will end up finding people who are more like you and you will have a ton of fun hanging out with them. suddenly you find you are sorounded by people who actually care about you and life is suddenly a blast!
- Alex

Sunday, Sep 13, 2009 - 4:39:46 PM
Hey Dawson, i haven't come on your site or listened to your show in a really long time...so I don't really know why God had me come here...I just want to say that this blog on Lieing is really going to help me, I don't lie but someone in my family does and I think this will help her, I'm going to tell her what your blog says. (You have now showed me a way to explain to her how to help her self) I thank you for that, I also thank you for all of your other blogs that I have read. You are amazing and I hope that God helps more people find you and that he continues to guide you in helping others.
- Christina

Saturday, Sep 12, 2009 - 9:19:42 PM
Although being blunt isn't the fully same as being honest I can say that not lying is a very relaxing way of life. The fact you don't have to worry about remembering old lies or getting in trouble later on for lying puts a lot more relief on your life. Even when it's hard telling the truth always has the better outcome than a bunch of lies. Along with this, people will trust your more, and sometimes value your opinion over other people who lie. Like me and some of my friends, we prefer honest comments, not sugar coated compliments.
- Roiselyn