The Value of Living An Honest Life

"When you're honest, you don't feel so lost all the time.”

The deeper we have gone into the subject of lying, the more we see how much pain and stress it causes everyone involved. Sadly, all of us have been affected by lying, whether our own or someone else’s. I’ve been encouraged by those who have been helped by these blogs and want to live an honest life.

Honesty Brings Peace
Lying is extremely stressful. It causes you to be constantly looking over your shoulder and wondering who might be finding you out. You’re always running through the lies you’ve told in your head, trying to keep track of what you’ve told to which person, and what’s the next lie you need to tell. When you’re honest, you don’t have those worries, or the negative consequences of your lies. Sarah added: “When you're honest, you don't feel so lost all the time.”

Lying is the best way to destroy any trust someone might have in you.

Roiselyn also commented: “I can say that not lying is a very relaxing way of life. The fact you don't have to worry about remembering old lies or getting in trouble later on for lying puts a lot more relief in your life. Even when it's hard, telling the truth always has the better outcome than a bunch of lies.”

Honesty Builds Trust
People are constantly looking to see who they can trust and who they can’t. People are actually much more perceptive and aware of who tells the truth and who doesn’t. Over time, honesty shows itself as a trait that is beautiful and deeply respected. As you begin to live lie-free, you will begin to see people will trust and respect you more and more.

If you resist the temptation to lie, you increase your capacity to build lasting relationships of trust. This is true in all our relationships—whether it’s dating, family, friends, or at work. Macey put it so well: “The truth always comes around. It’s always best to be honest—it makes any and every relationship strong and healthy.”

“Being honest and open has actually gotten me further than lying.”

Honesty Builds Integrity
Integrity is a word few use, and less understand. Yet if you have it, it is priceless. If you are a person of integrity, it means your walk matches your talk—you do what you say you’re going to do, and when you say something, people know you mean what you say. It means you can be trusted. The opposite of integrity is hypocrisy—saying one thing and doing another.

Someone commented about the value of being honest: “I used to lie a lot. I would lie only because it was easier than explaining the truth. And I have finally grown to realize that it's easier to [be honest]. Being honest and open has actually gotten me further than lying. My parents trust me, and I feel good about myself. And when you feel good about yourself then you know that everything is okay.” This person has come to realize the pain of hypocrisy and the joy of integrity. When we tell the truth and live it, we become emotionally and spiritually stronger everyday.

Are you willing to commit to a life of honesty and integrity?

I want to offer up a challenge to all of us. Would you be willing to commit to a life of honesty and integrity? If you’re up for this life-changing challenge, please write me a comment below, and tell a friend about your commitment, too.

Thanks for all your help with this powerful series on Lying. I couldn’t have done it without you.

My Next Topic…Dealing With Cutting My next topic is going to be extremely challenging, and I want to ask you to go even deeper and share with me your stories about Cutting. Are you a cutter? Have you struggled with cutting? Do you know someone who has? What made you start to do this? Please let me know. I look forward to hearing from you.

Friday, Sep 25, 2009 - 2:58:48 AM
This is a comment to the blog about cutting. I have been a self mutilater for years now. It is a way of replasing the pain i feel inside for physical pain. The only bad thing about that, is that its only temporary. And after I do it, it makes me feel worse. Its a terrible cycle. You cut to feel better but then in actuality, it makes you feel worse so you cut again. I recently made my stomach bleed pretty bad.. and the scab is not healing. It will be a huge scar that I will look at and remember my whole life.
- Laura

Friday, Sep 25, 2009 - 2:29:40 AM
I've been a cutter for 12 years now. It had been 2 years since I last cut myself up until now. I was sexually abused and when I got home, I nearly tried to kill myself, because of that incident. I cannot sit here and lie about that, because it did happen. It first started with hitting myself to numb the pain I was feeling inside and eventually it moved up to me cutting myself. No, it wasn't for attention, more of it was a cry for help and some of it was just to numb the pain. It's addicting and I want to stop cutting myself, but it's hard. To this day, I feel the pain avenging inside me every day. I want the person who hurt me to see how much I'm hurting, basically he knows how much I hurt inside. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I've been called "emo" and a "cutter" at the same time. I don't have many friends, because of the way I am. I don't socialize, because I'm afraid someone will find out that I'm a cutter. I don't know why, but why did you pick this subject to talk about?
- Tammy A.

Friday, Sep 25, 2009 - 12:33:44 AM
good because i dealt with cutting and i do regret it but then again i dont because i wouldent learn what i learned from it
- joneshia

Thursday, Sep 24, 2009 - 11:43:05 PM
Dawson, I have been tempted to start cutting so many times. I don't know why, I mean I know that cutting just creates more problems. How can I stop thinking about cutting?
- Anonymous

Thursday, Sep 24, 2009 - 1:49:18 AM
I have cut. It has been so hard not to. Ive almost gone a month. I was sexually abused during my childhood years. for about 2 and 1/2 years, by my first step dad. Right now, Im dealing with that head on for court and what not. It has been one of the hardest struggles to overcome, Eating disorders being the second. I live with three little kids a mom who only cares about the kids and a second stepdad. I argue with my mom every day, and we hardly get along. I have to cover it allll up when I go to school though. Because I am cheer captain and everyone expects me to be perfect. So, when Im at school I'm just that, a perfectionist. Everything has to be perfect, so nobody knows something is wrong. I would have never been able to stop any of my self destructive decisions if it were not for my friends who watch over me constantly and helped me move towards the light of God. I have a fear when the trial and everything grows closer I will go back. If I do I will have to be sent away and that is the LAST thing I want right now because I have cheer, research papers and homework, and most of all friends.
- Kim S.

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 8:32:13 PM
I'm a cutter. No lie, I've always tried finding someone to talk to me about it even if it was through letters. I've always found away to do it too, I'm scared I'm only 15 I've been to a mental hospital and everything. My moms getting her 2nd devoirce. I got held back. I had to move from my home in wisconsin that I've been in for 4 years back to where I was born with all my "friends and family". I'm a bery emotional person and don't know how to take pain sometimes I realize that what's happening is a good thing. Till something bad happens, it makes me wonder if God is doing this on purpose. Its hard and that's when the pain comes. I write poems about it, I never talk to anyone about it because I'm scared there going to be afraid of me and send me away. I don't want to be sent away! Please help...
- Amanda C.

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 4:05:33 PM
I was a cutter. I was 15 and at a loss. I had been a victim of sexual abuse by a neighborhood friend who was several years older than me. We went to the same school and the pressure of seeing this person every day was compounded by a break up with my first boyfriend and a difficult relationship with my stepmother. I don't remember the first time I cut myself, how many times I did it, or how the idea even occurred to me in the first place. I do remember the release I felt but also how I cried afterward. I felt so hopeless. It's an endless cycle of pain and addiction without help. I sent an email to Dawson who I listened to every Sunday night asking for his help. Dawson used to send out a newsletter every week and my email was included. The email came out on my 16th birthday. With his advice and the help of one of my teachers and friends, I stopped cutting. It wasn't easy, at least at first, but it was worth it. I am now 25 years old and haven't cut since I gave it up almost 10 years ago. I'm here to encourage anyone who cuts to reach out for help- there are people out there who care about you and there is a way to deal without hurting yourself.
- Aubrey

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 12:54:45 PM
I struggle with cutting. I have since 2003. I started because I was trying to find ways to cope with all the thing going on in my life at the time. I was dealing with the issue of rape, abuse in my childhood and emotional abuse. I still deal a lot with cutting and have been in a mental health hospital for it now 3 times this year. It is my only outlet. I keep everything trapped inside because I dont have a support system. I dont have many friends who I can talk to about things going on because I know they are judging me for the things that have happened to me. I have lost many friends over this issue. I have been through many counselors and today I started with a new therapist and just starting with a new therapist its been really hard cause its been a month since I last cut and I want to continue on the path of not cutting but I have been so tempted and really just find its the only way for me.
- Kirsta

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 12:53:16 PM
Hey Dawson. First of all, you are amazing. God has blessed you with the ability to speak to people and calm their hearts. That is such a gift! I really admire your work. I was reading through your blogs and saw one about how a real relationship can get boring when you only sit on the couch watch tv and think its a life... my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and I got into that state recently and decided to go out more. We started splurging on restraunts and occasionally a movie. And more active things like parks and animal shelters. This is the man I plan to marry and I have no intention of letting him get bored! lol I'm madly in love with him. He is my best friend and my lover. I am blessed. I guess I wanted to leave this message to gush about my patrick and to just thank you for being there for people my age (18). You're great! I'll be listening! hear from u soon!
- Hannah

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 2:10:20 AM
Hi Dawson, Yes I was a cutter and kinda still is. I started when I was 16 year old and now am 23 year old. I started cutting because of abuse that I suffer from as a young child and it constains physical,mentally,sexual and emotional abuse. I cutt all over my arms 2 to 3 times a fay and gave me more power over my life. I felt like I dont belong here that I wasnt going to end up to be anyone so why even try. It was like I was living two lives because for along time no one knew I was cutting. while 22 months ago I was at college and I started to use everything to cut myself stamples, scissors, butterknife, razors and everything else I might of had. That specfic night was my changing night my roommate want and told someone and it was so bad a cop had to take me to the health center at college to get me help and get down to the real problems. Am proud to say in the last 22 months since that night I have cut once and after that I want and told my pastor and talked to him for 2 hours and since then I been free from this addiction but, the sad part the things and reasons that were making me do this acted have not stopped so I wasted all that time hurting myself for no reason. Only good thing is I have became a lot stronger and have a great support group and a better relationship with our Heavenly Father. I'm not going to lie I have thoughts of doing it again because of what going on in my life and how my family is. So I am going to leave you with these words. Everyday is a challege and everyday that I dont harm myself is one day closer to fully be recovered. God Bless Ashley:)
- Ashley C.

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 2:08:41 AM
I've self-injured (cut and burned)for like 4 years now. I started cuz i felt alone and depressed and had no idea why i felt this way or how to explain it to other people. Self-injury made me feel special and important, it was my way of proving that i was hurting even though i couldnt always explain it. I guess im kinda addicted to it now, i do it at least once every two or three days sometimes a couple times a day. Im not sure i wanna quit, i know i should but honestly i dont, self-injury is the one thing i can always turn to, its always there when i need it, i cant depend on people or things but i know i can always depend on feeling good after ive SI'ed.
- Hannah

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 1:57:52 AM
I'm an almost sixteen year old active cutter and have been cutting since the fifth grade. I've struggled with cutting since I started. I don't even remember how or why I started, I just know that after I did it, my problems seemed to go away, at least in a manner of them not being in the front of my mind. I've been trying to stop since I realized it was a problem. My friends have tried to help me, but only a few are still supportive of me trying to stop. Others gave up on me. That was great. About two years after I started, I saw the movie 13 with my best friend and it triggered me because the girl in the movie cut, too. The reason I cut is because "I can't handle my emotional pain so I try to deal with them through physical pain", or at least, that's what my therapist said. I've suffered for depression for years and have been suicidal since I was little (around 4 I believe). I got busted in the 8th grade and had to explain over and over again that I wasn't trying to kill myself or doing it for attention, I just didn't understand why I did it. I still do it because there's this feeling in my chest that haunts me telling me I'm better off dead and without self injury I probably would be dead. Self injury is a tool for staying alive, not dying.
- Emma

Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009 - 1:56:48 AM
This is in response to the cutting prompt. Yes I have cut, since I was about 12 years old. I'm 19 now, almost 20 and on occasion when I'm still extremely upset I still do. What made me start? Physical & verbal abuse (not rape, just being beat up by an older cousin basically) and verbal abuse by so many people, listing them would be pointless. People hurt me on the inside, I hurt myself on the outside. I know why I did it, why I do it. I have tried stopping so many times but I never fail to come back and do it again. I've stopped feeling ashamed from the scars because I no longer am afraid. It is what it is. Everyone sins. Some people smoke weed or have affairs, I cut. Not frequently and I try not to, but it's still my biggest downfall. Also, cutting & depression go hand in hand. I firmly believe that. But I also firmly believe God is greater :) Thanks for doing what you do Dawson.
- Liz

Tuesday, Sep 22, 2009 - 11:53:31 PM
I do struggle with cutting I have been for about 5 and a half years. I started in 8th grade don't remember the exact reason but after that year a lot of stuff started happening between my parent's there was constant fighting between them. most of the time it would turn on me so they would swear at me tell me I was worthless and a bunch of other stuff. So cutting helped me cope with the pain. I know that I have an addiction and I do want to stop but I'm not sure if I'm totally ready to do that. I know that God says our body is a temple and I know every time i hurt myself God is hurt that i do it. Can you please help me Dawson?
- Jessica

Tuesday, Sep 22, 2009 - 10:52:18 PM
I am a cutter. I have been struggling with cutting since 2005. In the year 2005 one of my close friends was killed in a horrible car accident and I never talked to anyone about it and I kept all my feelings bottled up and thats when I started cutting. During that same year I had to move from Michigan to Wisconsin and I started cutting even worse I didn't adjust to the move very well at all then in April of 2006 I was admitted to the mental health hospital because of my cutting and I was suicidal. It was just a really rough time for me and just recently I have started cutting again and I feel so guilty about it . I hadn't cut in a year. And I am trying so hard to quit because I know that it doesn't help anything.
- emily

Tuesday, Sep 22, 2009 - 10:06:06 PM
I cut myself to distract myself from the emotional pain I feel. The 'high' I get off of the endorphin release makes me stop feeling at all, and life seems bearable. Also, I don't open up to people very well, so whenever I cut the blood reminds me that the pain is real even if nobody else around me can see it. I've been addicted to cutting for 7 years. I only recently realized how detrimental it was to me as a person, and how many problems I haven't dealt with because I've been distracting myself in this way. I know I should stop, but inside secretly I adore cutting and don't want to let go of it. Somehow dealing with the real world by myself seems too scary anyways.
- Melanie

Tuesday, Sep 22, 2009 - 1:35:58 AM
I've started cutting, I started somethime in July this year, i don't do it much, I went from August 18 until yesterday without doing it. I know a girl that started cutting a couple years ago, she said she liked it because it got rid of her pain, she was doing it because of some family problems and I tried to help her, this was last year, I gave her your website and I don't know if she went to it or not. I'm not allowed to talk to her anymore although, because I would never leave a friend no matter how depressed they were, I sometimes call her to see if she is okay. I have another friend that cuts and she said the same thing so I started doing it too, not because of what they said but because it's the only way for me to help myself deal with all of the feelings I hold inside and don't show the world, it's my way of getting back at myself for not saying what I should've said when I was younger, for not being there for the frind I discussed earlier as much as I could've been, for not trying to stop the friends right now that cut themselves so deep they bleed a lot and for most of all not following God the way I should, I try and follow the ten comandments, do what the Bible says, I just wish I could forgive, God says to forgive and i can't do it, I don't know how to and I really regret it because now I feel horrible about myself and i don't show that to the world so know one but me knows that, I hide my sadness, regrets, anger and other feelings behind my smile and out-going personality. I feel as if I will always have these feelings. How can I get help for this?
- Christina

Monday, Sep 21, 2009 - 10:48:00 PM
im datin diz 18 year old dude n i really love but he wants a kid from me n begs me to idont know how to deal with diz im fixing to be 15
- brenda

Monday, Sep 21, 2009 - 10:26:54 AM
I'm a cutter. I started when I was 12 and it's been 2 years and I'm still doing it. I started because of the stuff my parents were putting me through. My dad would always put me in the middle of his arguments with my mom and I couldn't tell him not to because even if I did he wouldn't have listened to me anyways. Some girl that I used to hang out with basically introduced me to cutting. She used to cut herself and she said that it relieves most of the pain you feel. I believed her. To me, it does relieve the pain. I used to see a therapist about it and go to counseling but I stopped going because I thought that I was better, that I wasn't going to go through more pain, but I was wrong. I cut myself now because I might be pregnant and I'm scared how to tell my mom that her oldest daughter, who is only 14, might be pregnant, and if I am...how am I going to be able to deal with such a huge responsibility?!?
- alexis

Monday, Sep 21, 2009 - 12:58:31 AM
I cut myself also. But I also have God involved. I cut confess, and offer my blood to Him.
- bi2782

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 11:42:37 PM
i'm a cutter. I started when i was about twelve and i thought it was for me to take all my anger and frustrations out on myself, but i noticed the scars it leaves actually will always remind me of my mistakes. I always suffer with depression. To me it's almost like a addiction and i do struggle with it.
- eddie

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 11:04:31 PM
I cut for 2 years. It started out as a way to release anger, because I had a rock bottom low self esteem. I got to a very low point in my life. I then was cutting because it had become somewhat of an addiction. One of my friends noticed the scars and really helped me get to the bottom of my situation. He helped me stop cutting. It's a really dificult thing to deal with. And when your cutting, you don't want anyone to know so telling an adult is a bad idea and could cost you that friendship. The best thing to do is let them know that your there if you want to talk. Don't try to push anything on them. They are very delicate.
- A

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 10:49:03 PM
there wass this guy, we were really close friends ever since my birthday party. the problem was that he started falling for me. i didnt really like him in that kinda way. so when he asked me out and i said no he went over board and told me he didnt want to be my friend. he didnt want to be my friend any more because i didnt want to be his girlfriend. im sayin this because your next topic is dealing with cutting. well this guy used to talk about how he was suicidal and when i told him i didnt want to be his girlfriend i was scared to put him down because i wasnt sure if itll trigger his thoughts about hurting himself again..
- listeninq

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 10:28:24 PM
I know a girl who cut herself when an adult took her phone. I dont know how she doing now.It been a while since I talk to her.
- B

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 10:20:56 PM
I heard of your blog through the radio as a young 19 year old christian i deal with hypocrisy from friends in church were they live a double lifde style Appearing things in church while living Another life doing drugs living a life that they are not proud yet are in denial and live it lying there whole lives i decided to let go of these friends and decided to live a life on integrity great blog!!!
- Santino

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 9:47:25 PM
www.momsclub.org I have been a member of the international moms club for almost 3 years. When I moved to west virgina from Texas I didnt know anyone and these people took me into the group and I made friends for life. They all know what I am going though and when I heard that girl talking about being young and moving to a new area I just wanted to get you this website so you could maybe pass it on to your listeners. Also the MOPS club is Moms of Preschoolers BUT preschoolers are kids who are younger than 5. Infants are welcome and anyone under 5. Im not as familiar with MOPS as I am with momsclub but I hope this helps. Laura
- Laura

Sunday, Sep 20, 2009 - 9:46:49 PM
I think you to an amazing job. Keep it up!!
- Alysssa☆