What Is Cutting?

The point of cutting is ultimately to cover over a much deeper emotional pain.

I have written over a hundred blogs since first starting to write for you. I have tried to blog on subjects I know are of great interest to you. I have been thinking about blogging on the subject of cutting for quite some time. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, so I have put it off. But I can put it off no longer. This secretive and incredibly harmful addiction is destroying too many lives. Maybe even yours. So bear with me as I try to help you. You may not have a cutting problem, but one out of five teenagers and over two millions Americans do. Whether you realize it or not, you know someone who is cutting. May these blogs help you, help them. Believe me, you will doing them a great favor.

While nearly half of all cutters have been sexually or physically abused at some point, almost all cutters admit they struggle with depression, anger, or extreme low-esteem.

What Is Cutting?

When a person injures herself on purpose by scratching or cutting her body with a sharp object—enough to make it bleed—it is called cutting. Cutters injure themselves on their wrists, arms, legs, or even on their stomach. When the cuts heal, they leave nasty scars or marks. People who injure themselves usually hide these scars so that nobody else will see them. But the point of cutting is ultimately to cover over a much deeper emotional pain, far beyond the scars she is hiding.

This is why Samantha says she cuts: “Every time I cut, everything that I feel is GONE! This fall it will be three years that I have been addicted. And I can’t help it. I can’t go over two days without it. It is what brings me up so I don’t have to feel emotional pain, because I’ve learned physical pain is nothing compared to emotional.”

Most cutters admit their heart-breaking habit is something they learned from a friend.

Exact numbers of people who cut are difficult to come by, since most cutters conceal their addiction and injuries. Yet rates of cutting are much higher among younger people, with the average age starting around 12-years-old. And while nearly half of all cutters have been sexually or physically abused at some point, almost all cutters admit they struggle with depression, anger, or extreme low-esteem. Most, but not all cutters, are females. Still, 20% of those who cut are guys. Most people don’t know that an increase in cutting is associated with an increase in cigarette, drug, or alcohol use.

Please know there is always hope for you.

Most cutters admit their heart-breaking habit is something they learned from a friend. Christina admitted this is how she started: “I know a girl that started cutting a couple years ago. She was doing it because of some family problems, so I started doing it too, not because of what they said but because it's the only way for me to help myself deal with all of the feelings I hold inside.”

Facts, figures, and definitions are all fine. But if you are a cutter, you know the agony can not be described in numbers or words. You may be cutting and not even know why. Be patient with me, because next week I hope to help you understand why you cut. If you’re a cutter, please write and tell me why you do it. But more than anything, please know there is always hope for you.

Friday, Oct 2, 2009 - 12:44:50 AM
Your blog was very inspiering to me I have never cut myself but I know people who do I wish I could help them and now by reading your blog I know I have the power to help them. Thanks so much i love how you help teens you really do make a difference in our lives.
- hannah

Thursday, Oct 1, 2009 - 8:35:56 AM
I started cutting earlier this year. I do it because I'm pretty sure I'm depressed and when I cut, all my sadness goes away and I can actually pretend I'm normal for a while. I guess I just have trouble loving people and have had trouble with friends in the past so I don't like going to other people about my problems. Cutting is an escape from all the insecurities and anger no one else knows I have.
- *

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 4:09:24 PM
i see cutting as a loop hole to cheat and take the eaisy way out for the hardest things im starting to realize its not about what is happening when u cut but what has happened btw its carina again i just started cutting myself on my wrist during the summer and im not so easy with coming out and telling people things. And for those of u who think cutters are alwase sad and depressed its not true only some cutters are that way and stop calling us emo !!! ILY DAWSON !!!!! ☆ ps: i hate u damian lol
- carina j

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 3:06:49 PM
i am 12 years old and i feel as if these blogs are made for me and there all so right and i feel like im reading my life story here i listen to dmlive every sunday night and i try to see if any one has the same problems as me and im so suprised on how meny people are like me in every way and im glad im not alone becuse if i were then dawsen would never talk about this and i would never figure out how to fix this addiction but im slowly learning ily dawsen btw sorry if i spelled ur name wrong lol ☆
- carina

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 2:00:22 AM
My names amanda and this is my cutting story. I started cutting 5 years ago when I first moved to Wisconsin away from all my friends and family. Not even a year later I made a friend who was also a cutter. I tried talking to her about my problems but she bever listened. It made me want to cut even more, over depression, anger, and low self esteem my life was swirling downwards. I cutted on my ankles and mostly my arms, I used to blame all my cutting on my friends but it was mostly what my father and mother had done to me. My mom (which I was told different stories) would abuse me by dragging me by my pony tail when I was a child. To this day I'm emtionally hurt A LOT its so screwed up and all that I know todo is to cut to make that pain go away. My dream was to help others since my advice works so well. But now with these scars on my arms its ending swiftly, its really addicting though. The pain, when u feel the first cut and the sting comes its like a weight is being lifted like the pain you had before is slowly fading as a more physical pain takes over. I havnt cut for over a month and a half when I moved back to Wisconsin. But now I'm finding the weird strength to start again to make all the pain I'm going through leave.I've been to therapists and hospitals and all but things just havnt worked really.its actually nice to have someone blogging about something everyone is having problems with. Thanks for listening Dawson.
- Amanda Lynn

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 1:58:24 AM
"I think that I am A kind of person that sometimes cuts for no reason. And sometimes I do it to let out my anger and rage. People who know me say that i do it for attention. But that's the last thing that I want is more attention. All I want is for someone to listen and hear my cries for help. Even if I have to die first.
- Tayana R.

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 1:25:16 AM
I started cutting myself when i was a freshman in high school. I was playin softball one day, and one of my team mates was joking about it. I went home that night, locked myself in the bathroom and cut my arm. All of my emotional pain just dissappeared and i was able to focus on the physical pain. From then on, after every game, i would make a cut for every strike out i had. And i struck out alot. Cutting realy helped me relase the pain of my parents divorce, finding my mom dead, battling drugs and drinking, being physcially and sexually abused, moving in with my dad, and having a new family. It just all seemed to happen so fast. I reached a point where i cut the word "help" into my leg. I promised myself i would stop and i did for a little while, but then i hit a suicidal wall and by the grace of God i didnt end my life. Its been a constant struggle, and the most recent cut happened about four months ago, and i was serious about it. IT was my first cut on my wrist. I'm a freshman in college now, and i'm trying to stop. But i came really close to doing it today, becasue i got really stressed out over a test. I dont know why i keep wanting to come back to it. But i just stumbled across your blog, so i dedcicded i would write about it instead of cutting. I guess its saving me right now. I dont understand what's wrong with me or whats going on inside my head. BUt i'm holding on for now. Thanks for listening, and sharing hope.
- Meredith

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 1:23:47 AM
I am a cutter the reason I do it is because I find it easier to deal with my problems it makes my problems go away I usually cut my childrens names on me I know its not right what I do but it helps me deal with everything that's going on in my life
- xochi

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 1:23:38 AM
hi i read your blog that wuz on da computer and i decided to chat wit you and i am a good freind if you ever need any 1 to talk to me instead of cutting cause that can mess up your life you are more than a regular person u mean alot to some people and you blog wuz sad so if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to send me a message i dont get on alot but wen i do i will reply!!!!so feel free !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- cathleen

Wednesday, Sep 30, 2009 - 12:08:34 AM
i have been a cutter for about three years and even my best friend commit suicide by cutting veins in his wrist... i've lost other friends to my addiction and my parents only got mad when they finally found out about it... it kills me inside to do it afraid to what's gonna happen later on but it's unavoidable and i feel as if it's the only way out of my issues.
- Rissi

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 9:46:33 PM
FIRST OFF I WANNA SAY I LISTEN TO UR SHOW ALOT UND LOVE IT UM PERSONALY I HAVE NEVER DONE CUTTING I NEVER GET Y PPL WOULD HURT THEMSELF OVER SUMONE HURTING THEM I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND I DO HAVE A FRIEND THAT DOES I ALWAYS TELL HER NOT TOO ITS NOT HELPING ANYTHING I HOPE THAT EVERYONE THAT DOES WILL COME TO THE LIGHT UND STOP THERE IS ALOT MORE WAYS TO GET THROUGH THINGS THEN THIS HORRIABLE WAY
- MARY

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 8:19:25 PM
I was raped twice in my life time my family was so messed up my parents got a divorce and when that happen they were both figthing over me and my brother. When my brother came back to live with me and my dad he went down the wrong path. when that happen it stared to cut my self to get reed of all the stress and the pain. I haven been cutting myself for two years
- Karen

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 8:01:30 PM
I was sexually abused from the time I was 6-13. I started cutting when I was 13-15. I'm fifteen now and I stopped cutting because my friends didn't like it. I take depression medicine now and It helps. I recently started finding myself wanting to start cutting again although my life is okayy. It was a big deal for me to cut. Depression and past experiences are the reason why and low self-esteem. I still can't seem to look at myself in the mirror. I havn't cut in about 6 months. It's gettng better. My mom did the same about 7 years ago. I try and talk to her. It helps talking to someone that knows what your going through.
- Rachel

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 1:29:43 PM
i used to cutt myself all the time bc i was always in trouble and my grandad died an i was really close to him, well since then my dads been a real jerk and always fighting with my mom when he;s home. (he;s a truck driver) but lately there hasnt been anny real work for him so hes always home. dont get me wrong i love him very much but when he yells at me or my mom i cant take it so i just go to my room, lock the doors and start cutting, well my freind noticed and she told me to never to do it again. well, thats a big step from going to cutitng all the time to never again. so i told her i would try. well then she lost her grandad an she was VERY very close to him, so she started cuting and i never really did stop so i asked her if we could stpo together an we check each others arms like mostly everyday. ill admit evern tho its been a wile i still think about it quite often. and from wat shes told me i know she does too. but i beileve that god wants us here an we shouldnt do anything to riun that chance. :) i;ve become more happy wiith my life i think and i have terrific freinds there for me to help wenever i need them. thanks for listening dawson.... -ty
- ty

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 12:57:25 PM
I started cutting when i was 10. I tried to stop cuz i have done it for so long. Now im 15 and still cutting. I knew its not healthy but i cant stop..its kinda like a drug for me. but when i do cut it just makes everthing go away..latley my parents have been fighting so i have been doing it alot more..and i just dont know what to do. I started drinking and smoking weed..and i just quit a few weeks ago, but still cutting..i cant seem to stop i have been to many guidence counselours and nobody has been able to make me quit cutting. i have been listening to you and everyones stories but i still cant stop..i have really low seld esteem. i always get the urge and after i make 2-8 slits on my wrist i dont want to do it again..but i still do it all the time. i have alot of issues with eating disorders and some other stuff. I have been in the hospital because of blood loss and eating disorders..i got better over the summer but when my parents started fighting i started again..i just cant stop..
- Lizzy

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 2:28:47 AM
I have been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me when I was really young. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. It was so much easier than actually dealing with my dad leaving, my mom being an alcoholic, and a guy i trust try to get sexually involved with me. I was scared and frusturated. I hated feeling like that. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally
- Jenessa W

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 2:26:06 AM
You ask for help writing your next topic on cutting. Heres an idea, have the person write a paper with all the reasons not to cut, then when ever they have the urge to cut they can pull out the paper and read it. This would also be good for other addictions. They can carry the paper around with them all the time just in case. Great show last night! Your Friend, Sothh
- Sothh

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 1:41:36 AM
I'll admit it. I'm a cutter. And one of the ones who doesn't know why. I've got several dozen scars on my legs. But it doesn't seem like the pain helps me. For some reason, just seeing the scars on my body seems to put me at ease. That, plus a tiny combination of me being rather impulsive.
- Richard

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 1:18:10 AM
I am a cutter, I always will be. I started in seventh grade it only used to be scratching but then after an abusive realtionship moved to actual breaking of the skin. Once you start you can never go back, the urge will always be there. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it. Right now it is my fifth month not doing it, I have gotten help but I still know that I will have a really bad day and want to go right back to it.
- Laken

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 1:04:52 AM
i stopped cutting a year ago, but it's so hard, something that cant be stopped in a matter of days. I just recently cut again, I had just got in a fight with my mom, I was feeling sad, lonely, unwanted, & angry. Usually when I fell this way I would normally wright in my journal which I suggest for anyone with depression or problems. But that night it wasnt helping so I remember taking the razor and after it was done I relized what i had done... this is the only way I can say why I do it.... along time ago someone told me "once a cutter always a cutter" I know relize what that means, once you do it and even if you stop, everytime you get stressed, angry, sad your always going to have the thought of doing it, but you have to work hard at trying not to. That one cut seems like it makes every thing better, it's like that one cut is getting rid of the feeling like "cutting" them out of your life for just those few hours or days. I'd like to say I'm also a big fan of yours, your advice has helped me so much. Thank you!
- tyler

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 1:02:33 AM
I became a cutter from being abused as a child and then 2 bad relationships. Every time I get pushed in walls or thrown on the floor or chewed out for something I didnt do it makes me go to the bathroom where I keep my knife and I start cutting on my stomach and upper part of my legs so noone sees it. I wish I knew how to control this.
- Janet

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 12:32:42 AM
The things these girls say are completley true. I am a 14 year old guys and I cut because of the pain from my family problems.
- Aaron

Tuesday, Sep 29, 2009 - 12:32:27 AM
I used to be a cutter, and I thought maybe this would help other people over come their addiction. I started when I was 13 and finally stopped when I was 17. I was tired of feeling lonely & not only hiding the scars on cuts on my arms, but the ones that were on my heart as well. Its been over a year now and I had to think about this: When I have children and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, "Mommy whats those booboos on your arms?" and that really made me think WOW what would I tell my children? And it made me cry for a really long time and I finally vented to my mom and told her everything that happened to me within the 2 years that I didnt live with her and I havent cut since then =].
- Cyndal.

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 8:44:15 PM
the first time i ever cut was when i was 15.. i grew up never having a stable family, being adopted at age 8 came alot of other family issues. I learned to shut myself off from everyone and everything. cutting became my release where i could physically feel the hurt and pain that i hid from everyone else. it then became an addiction... i am happy to say i dont cut on a regular basis like before.. but to this dayi still cut when something big happens in my life, even tho i havent cut in 10 months whenever i am hurt or depressed i always turn to it. with a lot of will power i can stop myself from actually cutting..but i feel that deep inside i will always want it when i am hurting.
- lace

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 6:58:51 PM
I used to cut I was phisicly abused and I am being emotionaly abused by my parents and my breaking point was peers with emoinal abuse from peer and faimly I could not take it
- kayla b.

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 6:37:05 PM
Wow. I have been a cutter for 3 years now. I cut myself to ease the pain that i feel when i think of my dad. My dad left me on my 11 birthday he did not say bye or i love you or see you soon nothing so i began to cut my wrist. Then he came back on my 12th birthday drunk and then left 2 days later. About a week later i asked him why he left and he said he needed to drink. Then i cut myself everyday. Now i am 13 years old and i still cut myself over him. I need help and i know i do but i just can't bring myself to get help. What should i do?
- Ashley D.

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 5:21:11 PM
I was sexually and physical abused and used to cut when I was 13 & 14 (I am 19 now). I was very depressed. But when you are there you feel like there is nothing that anyone can say to you to make you stop. It just takes a lot of couseling and God to help you stop. I just delivered my still birth baby 2 months ago because the cord was around her neck and I am doing great. I haven't thought about cutting in years.
- Brittani

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 3:54:47 PM
I am myself a cutter. It is addicting I have done it for 4 years. I have been free of cutting since August 2nd of this year. I must say it is extremely difficult dealing with what all I feel now. It went from feeling nothing to all this anger and sadness. my boyfriend is who influenced me to quit. He took all my blades and just held me when I felt like it or just couldn't take it anymore. My family found out and they don't understand what so ever. They think I am some sick person but truely I'm not. It started because my mother left when I was a little girl and I don't know my father. We got a call from the hospital and my mom was on the verge of dying but she became okay again. My grandfather also struggled with cancer for 2 years. It was terrible! I hated myself that I couldn't do anything for them. I also have tried drugs and I do drink to help get rid of the pain on top of the cutting. Or I would take multiple pills. Im glad I'm actually getting better but I'm afraid I might slip again.
- ki

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 2:21:36 PM
Hi Dawson, Yes I was a cutter and kinda still is. I started when I was 16 year old and now am 23 year old. I started cutting because of abuse that I suffer from as a young child and it constains physical,mentally,sexual and emotional abuse. I cutt all over my arms 2 to 3 times a day and gave me more power over my life. I felt like I dont belong here that I wasnt going to end up to be anyone so why even try. It was like I was living two lives because for along time no one knew I was cutting. while 22 months ago I was at college and I started to use everything to cut myself stamples, scissors, butterknife, razors and everything else I might of had. That specfic night was my changing night my roommate want and told someone and it was so bad a cop had to take me to the health center at college to get me help and get down to the real problems. Am proud to say in the last 22 months since that night I have cut once and after that I want and told my pastor and talked to him for 2 hours and since then I been free from this addiction but, the sad part the things and reasons that were making me do this acted have not stopped so I wasted all that time hurting myself for no reason. Only good thing is I have became a lot stronger and have a great support group and a better relationship with our Heavenly Father. I'm not going to lie I have thoughts of doing it again because of what going on in my life and how my family is. So I am going to leave you with these words. Everyday is a challege and everyday that I dont harm myself is one day closer to fully be recovered. God Bless Ashley:)
- Ashley C.

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 1:37:59 PM
well, ill start by saying i used to live in an almost perfect, very loving and encouraging family until it was broken by the loss of my father who we were all extremely close too. noow i dont go one day wiyh out hearing i hate you or your stupid, shutup, you dont know anything hust hateful things like that! i have also lost sveral people i was close to for example my friend and my grand parents. so i went through that period of time where i thought the only thing to do about my depresion was to cut into my arms.i would think about suicide all the time! after a lot of advice i figured out that was definately not the answer. now i deal with all my issues by going to God when im stressed or upset .just a simpole conversation would help .or just asking "Lord, help me , relieve my pain" andnow i only see the positive in evrythinggg!:)(just a lil advice to anyone whho wants it oh and it wont work if you dont believe it will(so have faith))
-

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 11:21:35 AM
well I cut because in my family my mom & brother are the ones always in control & when they get mad or disappointed in me I feel as if that if I can't yell at them or tell them my side cause most times they wont listen so then I take it out on my self and I don't know it's just a way to relieve my anger & stress and I haven't cut in a while and I'm happy that I haven't but I started cutting in the summer before my 6th grade school year and have been cutting ever since and I'm in 9th grade now but I'm trying to stop and I have for quite a while so atleast I know I have the restraint to stop and I'm trying I really am.
- Lani

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 10:30:33 AM
i have been cutting for 5 years and im only 14. i cut myself because i have been through a lot that most 14 year olds shouldnt have to deal with like parents who abuse drugs and having to takd care of 3 kids and being thrown back and forth between parents and its not the way i wanted to live my life. i cut because it makes me not think about my problems. thats not what i wanted but thats how i ended up.
- amanda

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 3:08:37 AM
When I was 13 my mom left. I am 20 now and ever since that day my life has went down hill. I was always fighting with my father and sister. They was always trying to control my life. They never would let me experience anything for myself. Each day it would get worse. I tried dealing with my feelings/anger through writing either in a diary or poetry. After a while it stopped working. I finally turned towards cutting. I didn't do it to try and kill myself just to actually have control over something. I hurt so deep inside, cutting somehow helped by taking the pain away. It started to become a habit and I was cutting every night. I would find reasons to cut. Then one day my friend saw all the cuts on my arm. She told me that I was stupid for doing that and that I needed to stop. After that day I did stop. For a while anyways. A few months later I caught myself cutting again. I was still fighting with my family and then it turned towards guys. I was having my heart broke one after another. I would use anything that was sharp. Either some type of blade, a knife, or even a piece of broken glass. I finally decided to quit. I knew if I didn't then pretty soon I wouldn't be able to. I knew I would either be in a mental hospital or worse..dead. Everyday I have to fight myself to not cut. The scars remind me of my past and how stupid I was to do anything like that. But I think of my family and friends. Everyone who cares about me and that would miss me. So I don't cut anymore because I know that there is a reason for me being here.I may not know what that reason is just yet but someday I will.
- Elizabeth

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 2:48:32 AM
it's a great topic that people are finally starting to talk about. and not just saying that we are all "emo freaks" or "psychos". the main thing i can say to anyone is don't start cutting. bc even if the reason u started cutting goes away there are so many other issues that will keep you cutting. i've been cutting for yrs and i've "stopped" like 5 or 6 times; but it hasn't stuck yet. may God bless u and all the work u are doing.
- Sarah

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 2:26:00 AM
During my freshman year of highschool a close friend of mine died in a car accident and it was very hard for me to deal with it. But one day I was sitting in one of my classes and one of my close friends told me that she was a cutter. I was very shocked and very suprised and told her that she didn't need to do that and that i was there for her if she ever needed to talk to someone but then that same day I went home and did it . I guess i was just trying to express my feelings about my friends death. I've been struggling with cutting ever since that day. Then during my sophomore year of highschool I moved to wisconsin from Michigan and It was really hard for me to deal with and i didn't really have anyone to talk to about what I was feeling about my friends death or the move so I started cutting even more. I remember one day going to my guidance counselor because I was feeling depressed and telling him about my cutting. He had to call my mom and my mom drove me to the mental hospital to get a pysch evaluation done on me. The doctors there wanted to keep me but my mom refused. I got more and more depressed and started planning out a suicide plan . I was talking on this teen crisis line one time about how I was so depressed and how I wanted to kill myself that the guy on the other end got worried about me and called my city police . I was away from the computer for maybe 5 minutes cause my parents had just gotten home from grocery shopping and I was helping them put the groceries away and not even 5 minutes after they got home 2 police officers show up at my door and want to talk to me. They asked me if I was talking to this person about wanting to kill myself and I told them no I wasn't but they didn't believe me so the officer asked me if she could ask me some questions in private and I said sure so we go up to my room and I tell her the truth so she takes me to the mental health hospital and admits me for suicide watch. I was so scared . It was not a good experience for me. Then after I got out I was put into therapy to help me work through my problems . I still cut myself and was still depressed. I was in therapy for 2 years I had stopped cutting myself. But just recently I started cutting again and I really wish I didn't because it's so hard to stop. I wish I had never started this horrible addiction.
- Emily

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 2:15:15 AM
Thank you for writing about a topic most people are afraid to talk about. I was a cutter up until a few years ago, when Jesus saved me. I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces. I would cut because the pain felt so good, that temporary relief-- because it felt like it was a way to vent when nobody was brave enough to listen to me. I still fight the urge to hurt myself, when things are hard. I still carry the scars. But I've learned that God heals, and that His love is a much better relief from the hurt. There is hope.
- Anonymous

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 1:37:50 AM
I used to be a cutter and it feels amazing when you cut, you dont ever want to stop, it heps your pain so much and you dont ever feel it after you finish cutting.
- Katie H.

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 1:24:10 AM
I learned what cutting was from a friend when I was 13 years old. I tried it once when I was angry at my parents and from then on it became my addiction. I would cut when I was mad or when I felt bad about myself. I was sexually abused by my cousin and had eating disorders. Cutting became my way of coping with these and even punishing myself for eating. I went to several counselors, but none that could keep me from doing all the self destructive things I was doing to myself. I am now almost 20 years old and can proudly say I haven't cut myself in 6 months (the longest I have ever gone since I started). I still struggle with a low self esteem and wish I had a different body, but I don't go to extreme lengths anymore to do it. For me, eating disorders and cutting was something that noone could help me with, I had to grow out of it. Yes, I still get tempted sometimes to cut myself, but somehow by the time I get the blade, the urge is gone.
- Nicole

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 1:14:27 AM
I am 32 yrs old now and was surprised a couple yrs ago when my then 12 yr old daughter was talking about a friend cutting.This has been one of my secret shames in life. years ago when I was 12 or so I started "cutting" I used it to deal with all the stresses life through on me. I have always hidden it from family and friends because I was so ashamed, I never knew other people did it.Well since I have this experince I talked personally with this friend of hers and talked some reason into him. He is proud not to be cutting and gladly shows his wrist to me when he sees me. Even thou this one of the most secretive things in the world to me, I was happy to help someone else.He know if life gets hard I will be there for him to talk to.
- Laurie B.

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 1:05:59 AM
Hello Dawson, My own personal theory on one of the possibilities of reasons for people "cutting" might lie with the molecular physiology of the brain. I have a focus in molecular biology. When deep incisions (or any moderate to major amount of pain), the body will work to counteract the pain to keep a dynamic steady state of the body. This can keep the body from going into shock. Endorphins (natural pain killers) are released in the brain that release tension and pain and thus may psychologically relieve the individual. Predictably, this can become addictive.
- Joshua

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 12:49:58 AM
Yep...i use to cut. And it was from a low self esteem problem and a lot of abuse from a boyfriend. Imagine going through 3 years of being told you're ugly, you're fat (but being a twig) and that no one was ever going to love you other than that person abusing you. that's what drove me to do it. It just happened one day. I was upset and cutting up some carrots and i sliced my finger open. But it was a total accident but it felt like the biggest rush in the world. I continued to cut myself up for about a week until my boyfriend at that time saw me. he looked me straight in the face and saw the blood running down my arm and said to me "you're prettier when you're bleeding." So i continued, because i believed him. My mom found my scars and open cuts one day after she found a bloody shirt. I broke down and told her everything. The thrill is still there when i accidentally cut myself though. It has improved though. Cutting has been replaced with writing and music. the desire for that thrill is still there every now and then though.
- Rhi

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 12:36:11 AM
My dad and my mom divorced when i was little and me and my mom had a tough relationship b4 the divorce and all i wanted was to be away from her but now i have the same problem with my dad, I switched schools i said because of teasing about my weight but i dont think it was that , that was getting to me, it was my dad. Well, i switched schools to were my mom lives, and i said some things to this girl that i regret with all my heart, and the teasing about my weight is horrilbe, and i try to ignore it but its just getting worse and idk what to do and i've thought about so many ways to hurt/kill myself it cant be healthy and i looked into tlaking to someone on a link i got from here and im too young so what do i do? :( i hate my life.
- Mikki

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 12:19:57 AM
I cut myself on my legs and near inseide elbow mostly, they are easier to hide that way... I cut because... well my mom never married my biological father, and had me and myy sister, then she married a man Named Mike for 7 years, he wasnt the best role model in the world but growing up he was the only thing i ever knew as a fater... so after seven years she divorced him and married a guy named Joe, now Joe has been in the military for nine years, so he is still stuck in that mind set that that is how every thing should work... but i was never raised that way so he is very extreme on us when we do something slight out of what he sees fit... and its just hard to deal with him alot because my mom doesnt stick up for us, its just me and my sister my clueless mom and cruel stepfather... now that i think about it.. it sounds so Cliche.. but thats how it is, and cutting lets ME be in control of MY OWN pain, it makes me feel that i can control something. but it IS an addiction and i tried stopping, but it never works, if i told my parents i cut, or if they found out.. i would really be dead... i'm not even sure they would send me to a phyciatrist or anything.. i think they would just tell me to get over myself, and to think about that just makes me want to cut more, i seek God in alot of the things i do... but is it ever worth it? i have been cutting since i was 12 and i'm almost 15... i cut about every week now... i'm not even sure i want to stop.. it feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain
- Amy

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 12:03:32 AM
I have started cutting recentley on my legs.I cut because i feel like im trading emotional pain for physical.Which helps because physical pain hurts way less than emotional.So,if my leg is bleeding I can just focas on that pain and do my best to forget the rest.I cut because i feel hopeless.I feel like im hurting people.Worthless.I can't kill myself because I have a few people to live for.Those people being my very close friend and druggie mom.They need me I need them.So cutting is how i survive.
- Ivy

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 12:01:28 AM
I cut myself because I'm a masacist I get pleasure from pain
-

Monday, Sep 28, 2009 - 12:00:59 AM
i started cutting a few years ago when i was really upset and wanted to see if it would really help my problem. no one knew i did it for a really long time, and i enjoyed it alot. after a while, even when things werent as bad as they used to be, i continued to cut. i would walk in my closet or into the bathroom and start cutting without really realizing i was doing it again. i would count how many were on my wrists and not even remember making alot of them. i started smoking weed everyday. thats the only reason i really stopped cutting. at first it was awesome being high and feeling the razor cut across my wrist, my hip, or my ankle, but then i stopped cutting completely. a few months ago, after 8 months of not cutting i cut again. it brought back every feeling i used to get when i did it. now everytime my mom and i fight or i have problems cutting is the first thing i think about doing. i have been good about not doing it as much as i used to, but no one ive talked to understands what its like becuase they have never done it.
- Alicia

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 11:54:39 PM
Approximately nine years of continuous sexual abuse has left me with an irreversible impulse to destroy myself in whatever way possible. I hate myself for something that I couldn't control, something that was not my fault, but I don't persecute my abuser, only myself. The plethora of emotions are all turned inward. I'm not any more worthy than the scars on my arms. I try to hide them, adding to the shame I've already internalized. They don't fade. They are permanent tattoos of worthlessness, pain, and the persistent and deep desire to end my life. The ones I have inside are nothing in comparison. I don't have a moment's rest. There is not one place on Earth I belong. I can't cry anymore, so cutting does it for me. Of course, none of it makes any difference to the next person. I'm drowning in a pool of my own blood, literally, and everyone turns the other cheek. They pretend not to see the cuts streched out across my arms, but one day I'll go a little too far. The blood won't stop, and the pain and life alike will spill out of me. I'm a time bomb whose final seconds have begun ticking away, but there's no one to stop it from blowing me to pieces. I have it all, but at the same time, I have nothing. I am nothing, but I feel everything.
- Jennifer

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 11:52:24 PM
i used to cut all the time and that i stopped i feel loads better
- Brady CA.

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 11:51:54 PM
Wow! This topic like many others you blog about is going to change people's lives. But mine in particular. I have been cutting for some time now. And honestly without it I probably would be dead. It is my alternative to suicide. It is the only thing that I know can rely on to help me unlike everyone and everything that has abandoned me. Just knowing the blade is sitting in its hiding place is such a reassuring thought that I know that I can go on. Its all about being in control of your own pain. You want to beat people before they can do more damage than you can handle. Or its about the release of all emotions coming out in a red flow of blood.
- Jacqueline

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 11:27:11 PM
i used to cut but i never really knew why other than the fact that i wanted to feel something . it is very addicting just like drugs or alcohol. sometimes i wanna do it but i always stop myself. a really great organization that deals with this is called To Write Love on Her Arms
- jess

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 11:11:51 PM
The reason mhy peoplecut is to get rid of their emotions and also try to fit in with other people. I think it is really wrong to do that to their self. They are probally depressed or somrthing. Because i know of 2 or 3 people who cuts their self but they don't any more because they all go to church now and they are now taking that right path and i am really happy for them now!!!!! I never did cut because i was afraid if my parents found out then i would get in to sooooo much trouble they would hate me for ever!!! Thats all for now!!! bye!!! :) (I hope who ever cuts their self will quit and pray to god and hopefully god will lead them down the right path!!!!
- Tiffany

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 11:09:40 PM
I have cut for four years, i was sexually abused when i was younger, and i hated myself for it. After this i was physically abused, the pain never left me. My dad got a disease and my mom did as well. So i took over taking care of the family at 13. It was and is my way to deal with stress and pain. Cutting brings me a relief like nothing else can. The thing people got to realize though, is that cutting is NEVER the same for any two people. Cutting is a very personal thing and can mean a lot of things to any one person. My tools are my friends, and my scars my constant companion. I cannot imagine life without cutting even though, at times, i wish i could...
- anomynous

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 10:34:10 PM
My parents got divorced four years ago. When that happened, I often found myself getting upset and scratching myself or driving my fingernails into my forearms. Over time it grew. And it turned into digging sewing needles in my arm and dragging them up and down my arm. Then in a moment of desperation, I learned how to take apart shaving razors and the the blades out. Then the cuts got deeper and deeper and I would find myself doing it twice a night. I would get lost in the blood just sitting there watching it roll down my arm onto the floor. One time it took half an hour before the blood even started to slow down and begin to stop. I was so scared. I watched as my left arm kept getting smaller where the skin was stretching to heal and how the skin was thinner and translucent. You could see every vein in my wrist, not to mention the horrbile horrible scars. I would sit there, watch the blood and cry. Just cry. I needed it. It made everything I was feeling disappear. I couldnt think about my emotional pain, because the physical pain took all my attention. I even found myself just craving the blood at times. There could be nothing wrong with me. I wouldnt be upset but I would still cut just to see the blood and to have that moment of lightheaded spinning. Its like a drug. And it takes you over. A year ago, I met my bestfriend. And he found my scars. He told me it was gonna be okay. But made me a deal. For every cut I made from that point on, I had to cut him. And I loved him. He was the best friend I ever had. He has two huge scars on his fore arm from where I've had to cut him. And eventually I stopped. I realized it wasnt worth putting him through pain. I've been cut free for almost a year, and I could never be happier. I still have my scars. And will for the rest of my life. But they are fading, and i've found ways to hide them with make up so that I can start wearing short sleeves again. No more dying in a jacket in the middle of summer. It is possible to get better. You just have to find that one things that is more important than your addiction. The one thing, or persona that makes you realize that it's not worth it. I'm now actually dateing my bestfriend. And we've never been happier. I'm finally "okay". I'm living life, having fun, and not cutting. I've learned my scars are reallys something to be proud of, that they are who I am and I wouldnt be the strong person I am today with out them. But it is possible to stop. No matter how addicted you are. :]
- Hollis Janes.

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 10:05:55 PM
In the end, its determination that helps you stop. I didn't have anyone to talk to or help me, but I finally got so sick of being addicted that I decided to stop. Sure, other people can definitely help and support, but in the end, its only YOU that can make the change. I did it by myself, through sheer determination. Yes, I relapsed, and failed a few times, but I never gave up. And now I've been clean for over a year. It is possible. Hope is out there.
- Lisa

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 9:52:37 PM
I just want to comment to your blog. I am NOT a cutter but i know (unfortunately) many who do. Ever since middle school I've always been a mediator or peer counselor etc.. it's something i love to do.. although i do my best to try help those i know need it, sometimes it's hard to get through to them without giving them some kind of offense..sometimes i find myself being cautious to the advice i give because sometimes they just need someone to listen or maybe if you say the wrong thing, things go sour.. i guess what I'm saying is..i really wish i knew some way to just make them stop..like when i talk to them, it seems like they get me, but then next thing you, i see a new scar..there are multiple, but because i try, i know which are which and you can tell from the scars to the fresh ones..so yes.. thanks for blogging about this, it is an issue among teens and more people need to be aware about it....
- Vanni

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 9:46:22 PM
hey dawson , well like 2 years ago i had a friend who cut herself because her mom put too much pressure on her . i tried to talk to her but she wouldnt listen & eventually she moved to an all girls school . so then last year i think i was going through some problems with my parents & school so when i was alone i got the impulse to cut myself. desperately i looked for a safety pin , opened it , and began scratching my skin until it became BRIGHT red and started bleeding. i was HORRIFIED at what i had done but at that moment i really wasnt thinking! the only thing that was going through my mind was , i need to hurt myself. so then time pased & eventually my parents found out (well, i told them) and i talked to my church's youth group leader & his wife. i thought i was all better , until i did it again :/ by this time i was with a guy & he noticed something was wrong & asked constantly. finally i broke down & told him and he was soo SHOKED because i really dont look like depressed or ANYTHING ! so he didnt talk to me for a whole day , and that for me was TORTURE. i felt like sh** and that i had lost him because of my stupidity & i was just SOO mad at myself. a day later he gave me a note saying he was there for me & that nothing i did would make him change his opinion of me or affect how much he loves me , but he made me promise i wouldnt do it again. my mom as well made me promise AGAIN , but i guess that time was different because i had someone outside my family that loved me & cared for me and i knew if i did it again i would hurt him as well and i didnt want to do that well , because i LOVE him. it was just something else . also my 2 little brothers & my sister look up to me ALOT so i didnt want them to see my arm because maybe they would think its OK sometimes. so yeah , thats my cutting story (: so glad to be able to share it with you God bless <3
- karla

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 9:43:05 PM
I am a cutter. i have been for about 2 years. i started cutting after my ex boyfriend died in a car accident. then it led to being stressed and family problems developed and just because i wanted to let out emotions. i havn't cut in about a month. i can go up to about 4 months then it sundenly happens. when my mom found out she said she would help me find someone to talk to. she doesn't want me cutting but its hard. i have scars on my leg arm and stomach. it's an addiction almost but its something thats hard to stop.
- Kayla

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 9:23:08 PM
I've been a cutter for over a month now. I'm struggling with depression and fights with my mom. Cutting to me makes me forget all the stresses in my life. All I focus on is the pain. It started out as little scrapes but they got deeper and deeper to where I finally reached blood. I even had a bad fight with my mom that I cut "hated" into my wrist. That pain was so much but It felt so good. It's my way to release. Thankfully I'm getting help and have been cut free for 9 days.
- Dorothy

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 9:16:27 PM
I have been cutting since i was 13 and now i am almost 15. I cut because I feel like nobody cares about or what i do and I can never talk to my parents about anything or hardly anybody else. I am always sad or depressed and have extremely low self esteem. So i take all my anger out on myself.
- Shannon

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 8:28:16 PM
What can I say about cutting...how am i supposed to describe the thing that has haunted me and yet loved me for the past 4 years. Can i actually describe the feeling, the relief, the moment insanity becomes sanity to anyone who hasn't experienced it first hand? I doubt it. Cutting is a personal thing, it never means exactly the same thing to two people. While different components might be shared, it is never the exact same. Myself? Cutting is a variety of things to me a lover. a teacher. a friend. a abuser. a relief. a burden. I love and hate cutting. My tools are the only thing I can count on not forsaking me. They might be gone for a little, but i know i can always find them. I can get a little relief from life's f**ked up complications. I can take away the dead feeling that causes me desire to end my life. At the same time, i suffer with the scars the constant reminders of how worthless i am, it is hard to forget when you have the word carved in you. Am i being to graphic? Face it...this is a cutters reality everyday. To see the monster they have become because they tried to escape the monster inside, or the monster of there past. To cut away the hate they feel, the pain they have, to repress what they want. ( i speak generally, but i assure you i mean this all for myself) A thousand words could not describe the emotions that run within me when i pick up a blade. They can not describe the thoughts that pass through my mind when i place it to my skin and so brutally cut what is mine. You say this is wrong...really? Why is the one way i can get relief wrong? Do I speak against your 'venting', your journaling, your music. No, i let you have it. You say i can die from this..good. Nothing could comfort me more then the thought that there is a chance that i let the knife slip, and instead of just fainting, like i usually do, i slip into that other realm and let the darkness that has surrounded my entire life finally take me.
- scarlett

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 7:56:02 PM
I have been thinking about cutting for about 2 months now I lost my papaw august 21st he was 63 years old and ive been dieing to cut my self idk how to stop i havent done it yet but i want to feel pain. i have everything i need to cut my self with it but i let down my family and even my boyfriend... i dont know what to do i need help
- Cheyenne

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 7:36:38 PM
Hey Dawson, I thank you so much for starting this blog on cutting, i think this will really help me sort out why I cut, I know the simple reason why, I want to feel the physical pain over the emotional pain. But I don't know how to stop myself completely, in fact I cut just yesterday, not deep enough to bleed, but deep enough to leave a scar and to feel pain for a little while... Oh and it was nice seeing what I said in this blog, I was actually surprised you quoted me in it.
- Christina

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 3:09:25 PM
Hey Dawson. I'm 14, And have been cutting for the last three years, I was never sexually abused, But i was never the prettiest girl either, all my family members loved my other siblings and not me. They called them beautiful, and cute. Me? They'd skip me, which didn't help much. Then my mother and father started to fight, which in return, them both treating me like.. Yeah. I haven't cut for the last week. Its become a habit of mine. It shames me to think of what I do, I also do it, because I get confused. Is there really a god? Sometimes I believe in him, sometimes I don't. I really need help, Its hard for me to admit that, but I do.
- Sarah

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 2:20:08 AM
honestly the only time i cut is when im really stressed out. like today i cut myself and it wasnt deep at all. actually it was more of a scratch. but it still felt amazing. i wouldnt say im addicted cuz ive only cut myself like 4 or 5 times within my life. i know theres hope but i just need to sometimes.
- anonymous

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 1:58:52 AM
I have been a self-injurer for like 4 or 5 years now...I was clean for a year and 3 months...but then relapsed really bad back in February...I am proud to say that I haven't cut since May 20, 2009....it's hard not to relapse...the thoughts and urges don't go away...the reason I got into cutting was because of my family situation...I was abused emotionally, verbally, and physically(only a few times though)...so I thought I was worthless and not good enough because that's what my parents told me....they told me I was a waste of space..and that I was lazy and stupid..and I believed them....I started cutting during my freshman year in high school...and I'm now a freshman in college....I have come such a long way..and I owe it all to God...He sent me the greatest gift I could've ever asked for.....LOVE...which was all I ever wanted
- Michelle

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 1:27:59 AM
im a cutter and i feel like i cant talk to anyone about it.i tried talking about it with my ant and she told me to suck it up and deal with it.iv tried calling Dawson but in to young. im sick of trying.that's why i cut.
- amiee

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 1:26:56 AM
I've been cutting for the past few years. I have actually tried to talk to one of my friends about it because I just kinda needed to vent but she didn't even want to hear about it. I have a lot of problems in my home between my parent's their angry people so there's a lot of fighting in my house. I'm the one who usually get's the blunt of it so my parent's call me these awful things and tell me that I'm worthless and whatnot and I listen to thier lies so I cut to try and block that pain that I feel. I know that I have to stop and that I am addicted. I can't keep doing this. I know every time i do cut myself God is so hurt when I do
- Jess

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 1:13:33 AM
praying for you as you cover this! Thanks for covering it, As someone who struggled with this in stressful times, after caually hearing of it on a radio program, I would encourage you not discuss in depth, about it being used as a relase or way to feel better briefy, it can begin as curiosty thing, and then later become a bad outlet. Thank you for everything you and the hopeline do! It is often do when people feel they have no control over life pressure, and feel like no one is willing to listen without judgement.
- Tamara

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 1:12:52 AM
Is cutting related to compulsive skin picking at all?
- Jen

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 12:33:00 AM
I really liked this topic because I can relate to what you were blogging about. I am now 18, and last year I cut because I was dealing with a lot of stress. School, sports, keeping up my GPA. It all was overwhelming!I cut every so often and left scars. I have talked to a counselor and she helped me out more than i could have assumed. So i advise, even if you don't think it will help, that you talk to somebody who cares, just like I did.
- Rebecca

Sunday, Sep 27, 2009 - 12:16:54 AM
I have cut since I have been 17 years old. I can stop for long time like 6 months to year but something trigger me to start doing it again. I have not cut myself again for about 3 months now because i have found the help i need to deal with losing my dad when i was 4 and and my stepdad year and half ago. I know the reason why I hurt is because of stuff i grew up in. Both of my father was achoholic, struggle in school because i had a speech impediment and adhd, and when i was 15 my stepdad was diagnose with COPD and since that point was taking care of him and my brother when my mom was at work. So I know that i have some forgiving to do and letting go but GOd will help me to do it. He have help me so far. I have not been suicidal in 6 month. I have some down time and time that i get angry but they are getting better and i can control them to be normal emotion and not get out of control. I learning how to deal with my emotional pain. This what is the most important, you'll will not change the past but you can choose if will control you and what you will become from it. Because of my experience I had a child and because i love children, i want to be special need teacher who work with children who have behavioral disorder. I want to show parent that they can teach their children how to function in life with little to no medicine. I believe that you do need medicine to get better but not ton and maybe for only a time. I JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE MY SAVIOR, JESUS!!
- Samantha

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 11:55:46 PM
I started cutting myself in 2008 because a boyfriend broke up with me and i loved him dearly but a few months after the break up i relized there is a reason hes not with me and i had talked to a friend about it and she helped me get threw not cutting myself i called her if i felt like cutting my self she was always with me the whole time. She never gave up on me even if i said i give up she kept pushing me and it will be 10 months that i have not cut myself in october.!!im so proud of how far i have came. It really did nothing but make you feel better but it hurt. I learned to talk about it. and now that i do talk about it i got an amazing boyfriend how loves me and he helps me threw EVERYTHING!!.
- Torri

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 11:09:52 PM
The thing about cutting is, it's not seen as a drug. it's only hurting you, and simultaneously, it helps. I cut myself. Not all the time, and not habitually. But if my mom and I have a huge fight, or something just goes wrong and I can't deal with it, I'll cut myself. It helps me, and afterward I can be normal. It fixes things. Temporarily, at least.
- Kim

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 10:37:04 PM
I grew upin an unpleast home. I was abused sexually, physically, and emotionally. I was cutting for a few years. Then i got off into drugs and other bad habits that i tried to heal the pain with. But since Jesus became #1 in my life and He has taken all the pain away, i no longer do those things to myself. To know that He loves me so much to save my soul from Hell means alot and i love Him.
- jenn

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 9:33:00 PM
Thanks so much for blogging on this, Dawson!! I'm a self-injurer and I really appreciate it and look forward to ur next blog <3
- Hannah

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 8:52:58 PM
I am 14 almost 15 and I have been cutting for two years now. I was also sexualy abused at the age of six. I started cutting because I blamed myself for being malested. I am now addicted to cutting and cant go a full day without cutting myself. The last time I tried to stop cutting it resulted in me commiting suicide. So, now I will not and cannot stop.
- Kassi

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 11:59:05 AM
I was a cutter for quite some time, I grew up in a home where my opinion was not heard and my mom would always talk to me like I was her councelor. Our family problems were not discussed with other people and we were the "perfect little family" I realized that my problem was now much bigger and became an addiction. I have not cut for 4 yrs. as of Oct. 29th becuz of my Saviour, Jesus Christ, altho I still struggle sometimes he always seems to remind me that his love for me is so much bigger and more forgiving than anything I could ever ask for.
- Jenn

Saturday, Sep 26, 2009 - 11:58:04 AM
Great topic!
- Sothh