Why Do People Cut Themselves? Part 1

Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain.

There is so much confusion around the horrific addiction of cutting. It’s hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly cut on purpose. With this blog series, I want to break through the confusion—and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. Last week, I wrote a general overview of what cutting is. (If you have not yet read it, please click here!) I’ve heard a lot of people say, “Why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies?” So let’s begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.

Most cutters have never had any healthy emotional relationships.

As I have talked with hundreds of cutters, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is just a cruel symptom of something much deeper and painful going on inside.

An anonymous blogger put it this way: “I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.”

Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she’s been a cutter for 7 years. “I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.”

Most cutter’s ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear.

When these emotions aren’t dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: “It’s an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it’s a relief to escape all the pain.”

Most cutters have never had any healthy emotional relationships, which leaves her without the ability to be able to express her pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express her emotional pain, she gives in to a short cut—a destructive physical expression toward herself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. “When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.”

By harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings.

The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter’s life is one of choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: “It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.”

The problem with cutting, as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.

Next week, let’s talk about this some more. Please continue to send me your stories. They are awesome and very helpful to me.

Friday, Oct 9, 2009 - 1:02:59 AM
I know from my own personal expeirence..I did it becuase I felt like nothing mattered to me and I deserved to feel all the pain....and it helped me relieve my stress becuase I forgot my previouse hurt.When I told my best friend he freaked out on me we texted for hours and he told me how much he loved me and cared..and that if somthing ever happened to me he would be miserable..he made me promise never to do it again...though I cant say I kept that promise I still think about that night and remember him and that helps me know I have something other than hurting myself..I have a friend not just a friend but someone who loves me....I can tell him everything and he listens.....so my advice for cutters is..know who cares about you..and talk to them before you make a bad choice..You never know..It could be the best thing that ever happened to you..That was the night I relized not only how much brandon really loved me but all my friends who are supportive of me did to...:) ~Izzie
- izzie

Friday, Oct 9, 2009 - 1:02:25 AM
hey, i am a 13 year old girl. i tried cutting last winter but my crazy mom didn't have anything sharp enough because i have a baby sister. if she does its hidden so i dont have access to it. i always feel like i don't belong and i hate my life sometimes. mostly im alone. i only have one close friend and she doesnt understand anything like this. all the kids at my school are like that. it leaked that i tried once (that best friend i told you about? she told. and not to help me, she told other kids from at school to gossip.) everyone thought i was even more of a freak. thankyou so much for this blog, it made me realize that it was not my fault. it also got through that i need to talk to someone about whats bothering me. thankyou so much, it was a totally different view!!!
- annonymous

Friday, Oct 9, 2009 - 12:36:28 AM
hi dawson um yesterday for the high school we had to do a respect retreat and um the two people told us stories they had and one was about the guy who had a friend who disrrespected herself and started to cut. she told him it was her cat and that is exactly what my friend said and we started to cry because we relized we did dis respect are selves. and it turns out his friend disrespected her self so much that she did things with a guy who didnt even talk to her the next day. so i try really hard to think positive about myself. i will try not to cut but it feels like that pain meaures up to my pain somehow
- joneshia

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 8:14:20 PM
I cut because i get anrgy at myself for saying stupid things, or getting a bad grade, or not understanding something, or anything stupid that i do.
- alyssa

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 7:21:45 PM
I acaully started cutting Because I got really depessed because my Dad had died A year ago and I've been Cutting since. We were closer than anyone in the world was. I still do cut myself when I think of him I just want to hold him The same way he held me all thouse years I miss him a lot. I am only 13 So about last year I was 12. I know I'm young to do it but I still do. I can't Help but do it, Its Barley even works anymore.
- Destiny

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 7:00:15 PM
I cut myself because I get deperseded. I know I need help but I chose not to get help, The reason I cut Is because Everyone likes to make fun of me and It makes me feel Like I'm not wanted in this world. But The good thing is I haven't cut in 3 monthes.
- Destiny

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 1:56:31 PM
WOW
- LIFE

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 1:55:52 PM
Dear Dawson, I was reading your blog and I am 14 years old an I cut myself. It is the only way for me to escape the pain. My family doesn't know and I told my best friend once but she didn't understand and she still worries but i told her i stopped even know i didn't. No one knows. When someone see's them, it is the cat that does it. I have learned recently you can make them look like claw marks. by putting them in two groups of 4 but anything else people start wondering. It is the only way for me to get over the issue's i deal with, No one understands and it keeps me from being a total butt all the time. I mean i can't deal with stress and it just makes it easier. And when i cut myself it keeps me from feeling like a total outcast and that i am not fat. The pain is easier to deal with then the emotional. it tears you up inside and cutting is a way for me to release the build up of the feelings. I have been cutting for 6 months and idk without it i might not be here.
- Tiffay

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 11:41:28 AM
I think people cut because...well At least I have before becuase I didnt know how else to take out my stress....I thought it was the only thing that I could do..and when I told my closest friends he got sooo worried for me...he helped me through my problems(parents,school,boys)He made me promise him I would never do it again..I cant say I kept the promise fulley but now I think about him and how much he loves me and doesnt like to see me hurt before I want to do it...i think that you were right last sunday Dawson..you said the percents are rising and more an more people are cutting these days...I know at least 3 other people who do it when they cant handle their life stress besides me...And 1 of them doesnt do it any more she really helps me to..she encourages me how bad it is...I know for me...If it werent for my friends...I would be very lost and i probly would cutt more often....Thank You Dawson you are a life savor!!! I love your talkshow and You really inspire me ....:) ~Izzie
- ariel

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 1:04:33 AM
i think cutting is bad why do people cut them selves when they have a issue with them selves or an emotional problem or pain with their problems for example i donot wanna hurt or cut my body for any emotional way dawson mcallister.
- christy p.

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 12:33:21 AM
I started cutting myself when I was bout 13 cuz I had friends that said it'd make me feel better after I did. when I started it didn't help the way they said it would, but it helped keep my mind off the pain from my emotions, it helped for awhile, but after bout a year I got tired of it, and I still cut myself for not being able to stop.
- Sharada

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 12:19:50 AM
I cut when I feel like I did something, like, if I eat to much; I cut.. If I think about a bad memory;; I cut, also to see blood, in my life, I'm the perfect, quiet, smiley girl.. People walk all over me, I don't even exist to someone I sit right beside every day. To them, I have no feelings. I think, I cut to feel pain, to bleed, to know I'm not a robot, to know i CAN feel pain.. I guess that's why I cut..
- Mandy

Thursday, Oct 8, 2009 - 12:18:40 AM
I think the reason why some people cut is because they dont feel loved and love to put them selves through pain to make them feel better. i know thats what i did when i found out my boyfrind cheated on me. some people may all so do it just do it to get attention for. this jst came to mind but maybe some do it because nothing in life is going right and it gives them somthing to get there anger or what ever they are feeling out to make them feel better. well dawson i hope that helps and would love to talk to you about a problem i have.
- brittney

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:45:21 PM
This is off the topic, but I feel like I need to share this. I listed to a conversation that you had on Sunday with Daniel, and I looked at some comments that other people had made on your blogs about forgiveness. I recently started reading a book The Shack written by William P Young. It is a story about a man that has suffered a great loss and is trying to find a way to live with it. He has many questions about why it happened, what could he have done differently, and many more. He even blames God for it happening. I just wanted to make a suggestion for those who are struggling with forgiveness, and even those who aren't to read the book. It opens your eyes to forgiveness and life. I am a christian and it made me look at my relationship with God in a different way. -amber
- Amber

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:44:44 PM
i had cut because i would one day hope my dad would ask me whats wrong. when he found out about 2 years later, i went to the hospital. the whole reason i started was because he wouldnt pay attention to me.
- faith

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:43:17 PM
There is a medical explanation for this, it's actually not completely psychological. Cutting released endorphins, which resemble opiates in their ability to produce analgesia and a sense of well-being. Actually, endorphins are also released during strenuous activity, and even sex. Immediately after the release, these endorphins allow the person to feel a sense of power and control over themselves that allows them to persist with activity over a period of time.
- Richard

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:42:16 PM
I started cutting when i was in 8th grade...why? I really dont know. I never did anything to the extream because i didnt want anyone to know that i was doing. i have stopped somewhat... but i cant help but want to fall back into it. I do because, im depressed an sad an feel numb... and life isnt exactly the best just all goin down hill... the temptaion to do it kills, but knowin i didnt do it is a little better. Its hard when you tell someone, an you get nothing really back to help out...once a freind told how to cut yourself the right way, yea that helped a lot, thanks... an right now for me is the best time to cut... i just havent.. yet... apart of me wants to an the other part is just scared. but it all depends on how i fell and whats happening.
- Jessica

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:40:38 PM
I'm 13 and I cut myself. I do this because so much in my life is going on. My mother yells every day, my older sister is never home, and my little siblings are always outside. I'm all alone. I cry, I cut. Thats my daily routine. I hurt myself becuase I feel pleasure when i do it. I cant stop it. No one knows about it and I dont care. People think cutting is wrong but to me It's beautiful. The blood running down my arm makes me feel... I dont know... Secure? If my family hurts me, Why dont I just hurt myself also? I cant stop this. Its an animal that has been living in me for 3 years and will probably live in me forever.
- Lily

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:17:09 PM
I use to cut because i couldnt deal with it all,i cant handle much, and i just want to take it all away, nd the point of me doing this is to open my vanes, and bleed to death. ive been to emergency for blood loss, and if it werent for the person im truley in love with, i wouldnt be here. please, find your special friend/companion, let them keep you alive! let the time your with them save you! dont cut, my arms are filled with scars, and i dont like to show my arms, you dont want that to happen!
- Sunny

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 10:34:47 PM
"There is something about the ruby red crimson beads that well up under the knife that temporarily heals the inside of a young women. Almost like the pain runs in her bloodstream and the only way to let it go is to break the blueness and let it flow out in red beaded drops. And again when the pain comes back. Until all is gone." I wrote this late one night about nine months ago, when I used to cut. I started cutting after reading a book about depression and cutting. I remember thinking "Why would anyone ever do such a thing?" The same day I started cutting because I got really upset. I liked the feeling because it felt like I could let go of all my troubles and the pain I felt. I continued and soon cutting became the center of my life. It took months of will power to finally stop, but I did. I haven't cut for about 6 months, and I realized that it wasn't worth it. The feeling of the pain leaving through cutting doesn't actually help anything. If you're feeling pained or depressed, listen to sad music, talk to a family member or friend, pray, write your pain down, or just cry; it helps just as much as cutting. Cutting only hurts you, it becomes what your life revolves around and when little things happen that wouldn't usually make you sad, you use them as an excuse to cut. It was really hard to stop, but it eventually gets easier and life does get better. Now, only scars remain.
- elizabeth

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 10:29:35 PM
Just bout all my friends cut themselves (at least most of the girls i know that is)and they cut themselves to help stop the pressure of life and what was goin' on with them in their more personal life. I started going through hard time when I cut myself. The only I did it was cause my friends were telling me to and that it would make me feel better. So I was at a breaking point and I hated it, but I kept on with it. It did nothing for me, I just did it to help take my mind off what was really going on.
- Cynthia

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 4:34:35 PM
Hi Dawson.I was just reading your page about cutting and would like to share my experiences.I'm 18 years old now but I used to cut when I was 14-17 years old.I used to do it because when I'm angry or upset i feel like I can do anything,so cutting sort of made me feel like I had my own power over depression.I have been through alot,and just last year my boyfriend helped me out of cutting myself.He told me that no matter how depressed i am cutting will always make things worse and not only for me but for my friends and family,and thats what made me stop because I dont want to cause pain to those I love just because I'm depressed,I should be thankful for them and not be a cutter and talk to them when I'm depressed.LOVE YOUR SHOW by the way :)
- Vanesa

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 2:52:36 PM
I started cutting when i was 12. It started out with much smaller things like scissors and then went all the way to blades. I started because my "friends" started a vicious rumor about me that went on to people calling me names and talking behind my back for 2 years. on top of all that me and my parents fought every night. the constant screaming and yelling at home and getting called names at school lead me to feel that i just deserved to feel this pain. from 12-14 years old i cut myself. my parents made me go to counseling for it, but that just made me want to do it more. i stopped a week before summer and now its been 5 months since the last time i cut. I have friends who use to cut and quit with me but are slowly slipping away back to the addiction. i've told my friends that its not the way to and they shouldnt do it, but if they do i will be there, because when i use to cut, no one was there for me when i really needed them to be. and so now i will be there for anyone who is dealing with cutting, but especially my friends.
- Jami

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 2:11:23 PM
I was 12 when the teacher I never really liked once again held my work up and told the class how bad it was. I felt like I couldn't do anything right ever, but that's not why I did what I did. I did it because I knew my dad would be mad if I got bad grades, and that I would be in trouble. Since we were not allowed to bring sharp objects to school, I reached in my bag and pulled out a key. I didn't know if I actually wanted to, since everyone was already calling me emo, but after said her final "this-paper-is-horrible" speech, i dug it into my skin and pulled repeatedly. Ever since I have been cutting. Not only that, but sometimes, if I were really upset, I would spray perfume on them after my arm was cut too much. I'm still a young teen, and my parents both assumed I was a cutter, but I convinced them I wasn't. Cutting actually really helps me, I don't feel mad, sad, or upset when I finish, especially if I use the perfume.
- Emma

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 1:27:40 PM
i think that everyone has their own reasoning for cutting, and their own method of doing so. i used to cut myself to punish myself for everything that i thought was wrong with me....my grades weren't good enough, or i wasn't pretty enough...i would always find a reason to punish myself, and i could not let myself stop cutting until it was deep enough. if the cuts were not deep enough, then i wasn't punishing myself in the way that i felt i deserved. it got to the point where i damaged nerves and lost feeling in my hand, and cut so deep that the bone was showing in my arm. since then i have learned that i don't need to punish myself for things out of my control and risk losing my life. 'Control' is a funny word....cutting yourself is something only you can control....or that you think you can control.
- miss elissa

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 1:26:49 PM
Dawson, ive dealt wih several friends who have or has a serious problem wih cutting,ive never unserstood it untill my own little brother started,hes 12 dawson!i was so scared and lost and confused and mad,gosh i was so mad!!i didnt know what to do and i couldnt find the words,so i tried it one day,to try to understand why he would do it,and i instantly understood,it is a horrible horrible thing,but it focusses every bit of pain on on point,and you get to control it not somebody else.i think your simply amazing for having his outreach for teens and kids,we need somebody like you,we all do.i love you!
- Becca

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:25:50 AM
I had heard about people cutting I just didn't know why they did it. When I was in 10th grade there was a girl in my math class. She was very smart and it seemed she had everything together. By the middle of the school I happened to see cuts oh her arms I became close to her and I realize that she had a lot of family problems. Her parents were splitting up and his older brother was in jail for trying to steal a taxicab. She had no one to talk to I became her friend and sometimes I thought I was the only person he could count on. Listen to her and gave her advice I spend time doing homework with her. She stopped cutting her self she changed her personality and now she comes to me from time to time to ask for advice. She was become one of my best friends and I am glad I was a person that helped her cope with her emotions. She is total new person she is cheerful and happy all the time. -kary
- karina

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 11:24:08 AM
hi my name is shelly and i need to talk to you as soon as pulasble you can call me
- shelly s.

Wednesday, Oct 7, 2009 - 10:08:06 AM
I am not sure if this would be considered cutting, or what, but i used to carve things into my skin. it would always relate to what had caused me emotional pain, and it made me feel like i was getting back at myself as well as whoever had caused the pain. i have carved the initials of a friend into my leg, a heart into my arm, as well as other symbols.
- Kelsey

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 11:42:11 PM
I'm not a cutter myself, but a once close friend of mine used to cut. I'm 19 now, and have been out of high school for over a year. Back in 9th grade, said friend was going through a hard time with her family - I just didn't know how she was dealing with it. Her jacket slid up one day during lunch, and I saw her wrist. Concerned, I asked her why she did it and she explained to me that she did it as a kind of healing process. She said that as the wounds heal, she heals. I didn't agree with her, but it did offer an insight as to why her and other people cut.
- Marin

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 11:40:17 PM
yea i use to cut myself and still do sumtimes cuz i fill unloved and beleave its the only pain i can feel and i want to feel it.
- morgan

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 11:39:44 PM
Dawson first off thanks for all the advice you give on your show I never miss a single one. Now i know a bunch of ppl who cut simplest reason only reason that they really do it 'Peer Pressure' I promise you that. Ill be calling into your show i need to stop doing it myself i just started and im trying to stop. This is from most of us who do it dawson.
- Dustin

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:59:23 PM
I cut myself, because I don't want to deal with all the emotional pain, and I don't have anyone to really talk about what issues I have. Even tough I don't know myself everyday and for every little thing, I do cut myself when I think about how perfect other girls are, I just wished I could look like them so I cut myself. When I look at my scars they remind me of what I'm not and what I will never be. I even cut on my arm the name of this girl at my school of whom I am beyond jealous of, and just wish more than anything to be friends with, but sadly she never notices me and probably hates me. Now I have her name on my arm to remind me everyday of her. I just wish someone out there would be willing to listen to what I have to say and what I'm avoiding to deal with.
- Ana

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:58:09 PM
Cutting is something that I have dealt with for six years. I was sexually abused when I was 14 by a close friend. I never told anyone and I was afraid the only relief I got was when I cut. Then in 2004 I lost my best friend in a car accident since then i've lost 8 more people. Cutting is my escape. If i'm depressed, sad, or cant feel any pain I cut.
- Tina

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:49:04 PM
i cut cause it was the only pain that i felt that i could control and itmade me happy in a way, but hurt all my friends and loved ones. its something that you should not start up...cause its hard to stop..i still do it sometimes but not as much..rarely ever. its a stress reliever but a very bad one.
- ieisha

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:36:06 PM
I cut and I have for about a year. I cut because of other people. Mostly my classmates and sometimes what happened when I was a child. I have tried to stop but it seems it doesn't work. The friends that found out arn't really helping me.
- Morgan

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:34:00 PM
I really love your blog...... But i would lik to add that many people lik me cut because of parent like a devores or death or even a single parent having a boyfriend that controls your mom an friends losing friends and getting into fights with them also adds on and then there is getting beat, my dad beat me an that alson made me cutt cutting is just lik a drug a addiction.... if u lik you my putt this in ur blog
- Jordan P.

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:33:04 PM
the reason why I did cut my self is because of the mental pain I was in.they say that the worst pain cancles out the other so I thought that it would take my mind off of my mental demons,but I soon realised that it did not help in the slightest way and the only way to deal with my pain was to talk to a trusted friend,family member,a counciler, or in my case I wrote about it,not that mental pain but anything a movie, a memory, yeah it may sound stupid but it really works.And the thing that really stoped me from cutting my self is that my thirteen year old cousin started soon after I told her that I had been cutting my self and I knew that I had to help her, She has now gone almost two months without cutting herself...and me almost one year.So to all of the people who cut their self there are other options besides cutting
- animal

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:19:32 PM
I've been cutting myself for over 14 yrs now. There are so many reasons why I do it. As a child I saw my mother do it I found quite disturbing then but after I noticed that when I would get mad I would similar thing to wat she did I scratched, myself punch walls, burned myself..... and finally cutting myself. For me when I cut it feels good at the moment I barely feel it to be quite honest its the intensity of the blood that calms me down. But in the end the pain comes much stronger. And the cutting gets worst.
- nani

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 10:18:59 PM
I am about to turn 18 in january and I have been cutting myself ever since i was 13. I told my parents about my issue and they sent me to some one to talk to. It didn't help much i still continued to cut myself. I tried to stop but it really is hard i don't seem to understand why i cut myself it is like one moment i feel really depressed and the next thing i know i am cutting into myself it hurts but i still continue to do it. It doesn't make sense. I have a lot of things on my chest right now and i need to let it all out. I have no one i can talk to that i feel will actually care. My parents diowned me after an arguement and sent me to move with my uncle in new mexico and he has never really been the person that i liked since i first meet him. I miss my parents and family and i want to go back to live with them but i don't think they will take me back. I resently carved my last name on my arm for i will never forget who i belong to. this was the first time in month that i have cut myself i want to go back and that will make everything better for me. I think.
- Luis N.

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:50:26 PM
I have never actually cut myself but I did develop the habit of bruising myself several years ago. I think that I wasn't brave enough to actually cut myself but the self inflicted bruises almost seem more barbaric. The first time I did it was on my calf. I showed my friend and her reaction was "oh gross, why would you do that?". So I started bruising elsewhere, generally my rear end b/c nobody would ever see that. I was going through an emotional breakdown, deal with my selfish mother, my ex boyfriend who was still living with me and the fact that I had so much guilt. I bruised my rear end so bad that it took nearly two weeks to heal. I had actually bruised the muscle which is kinda hard to get to through the fat. My ex saw it and burst into tears but I couldn't explain to him why I did it. I rarely do that anymore but now I stay with my boyfriend and its harder to hide it from him. I know that people see this as so barbaric, those that don't understand but it is most definitely a huge problem. Thanks, Dawson, for opening up this issue.
- Charity

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:10:45 PM
I feel just the same. When I get angry my first thought is to cut cause myself pain in any way or for weather if its punching a wall till I can't move my hand scratch my face and eventually cut myself.. Im 24 now and still can't seem to stop myself. Its been 14 yrs. But after the anger is gone a lot of regrets run through my head after seeing my scar and wat I've done to myself.
- vanessa

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:10:12 PM
It's been about a year since I stopped cutting. I started at a young age, about 12 or 13. I blamed myself for my parents' divorce, and I blamed myself for the way I looked- I hated it, and had horrible self-esteem. In a way, it was how I punished myself for all the things I did wrong. Later on, I did it less frequently, and usually it was when I felt extremely angry. When I get really mad, I feel like I just have to cause destruction on something; my teeth clench, and I fight back the urge to scream. It felt like something tangible was stuck in my veins and I just had to let it out. I finally heard the voice of God, though, and he spoke to me and brought me to him and got me to stop. Now that I have stopped, it just makes me angry to hear people toss the word "emo" around like some sort of loose gossip term. People make fun of things they don't understand. Cutting really is a sign of something deep, dark, and sinister.
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Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:08:30 PM
I'm a cutter. I know I can't deny that. But I've been thru so much, I don't know where else to turn to. I was abused, both phyically and sexually when I was little by my step dad. My mom gave me up. She sent me a letter and said she didn't want me anymore. My dady (who I live with) didn't know what to do and neither did I. My step mom, she is the worst. She hates me. She's even said it. I have 2 half brothers, she favors them. I am the oldest kid in the house, and everything is put on me. She pushes me until I break. She yells at me, without reason. She treats me like I'm nothing. And no, thats what I believe. Dealing with my mom leaving back in '06 has been a long and very painful road. I'm a sophmore in high school this year, and I don't get to go to activities or hang out with my friends because my step mom has me home bound. Its a bad house, and I know it. I'll be 16 next week, so I can't even go anywhere. I have no one to go to. I'm alone. So Last year, I found a way out. I began cutting. I had heard about it, but I never thought that would be something I would do. The first time I cut, I felt horrible afterwards. Mainly because I got busted. I've had bad experience with counslors, and I have come to stongly dislike them. Yet, once I was cought cutting, thats where I was sent. To another counslor. I stopped cutting long enough to get out of the center. But once I was out, I picked the habbit back up. I have been cutting for around a year now, and it relieves everything for me. I forget all my worries and troubles when I cut. It puts me at peace. I am also anorexic/belimic. Yes, both. I usually just don't eat, but when my friends press on and on about my non-normal eating habits, I eat, then throw it back up. I know this is wrong to, but for some reason it seems to help me. This is something I am trying to stop, because it has put me in the hospital 3 times in the past year. I have major stomach issues now. Acid is eating me alive, litterally. I have to take medicine for the rest of my life. And I don't even take it the right way. I take Nexium, and your supossed to take it 30 mins beofre eating. I take it when I feel like it, but I never eat afterwards. This has caused me to have my stomach scoped and I've been sent to yet... another counslor. My doctor doesn't know I'm this way, he is thinking its all stress. My parents don't know either. About the cutting or the eating disorder. I cut my legs, my arms, and last night for the first time my stomach. I feel like ive gone thru a paper shredder... I don't know how else to deal with all the emotions going on in my head. Its hard to be a teenage girl in this time with all the things we have to live up to, and my past and present doesn't help much. In a way, I really do want to stop both my addictions, but also I don't. These are my escapes... I have no other way out, that I see. I need help, and I know I do. But I don't know where to turn to. I listen to your radio show every sunday night, and I love it. I can never cal in. But I wanted to talk to you. To see what you said.
- Elizabeth

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:05:16 PM
When I used to cut, I felt that everyone expected perfection from me (in all aspects of life) but I could expect nothing from them (like love). Cutting was my way of reminding myself that I was only human, and punishing myself for not being perfect at the same time.
- Beth

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:04:55 PM
i cut my self n so dose my cuzint i cut myself becuze all my friand and faimily think im rong and thet i dont do anything right
- genn

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 7:53:03 PM
I don't know my dad, never have and probably never will. He doesn't know me and I don't know him........ I have been self hurting for 3 years and a cutter for 2. The first year i would let my cat scratch me and bite me, then at the beginning of 6th grade a read a book (called Tweak) and it was about a guy that did drugs and his girlfriend had ben a cutter. With out thinking one night i just got up and went to the garage and found a knife and ran it lightly across my wrist, then harder. After each time i got a little more confident. I broke the skin but i didn't get blood. But i couldn't think of another way to cut. Until i accidently cut my self with my razor in the shower. I was amazed. There was actually blood. It made me feel better. I knew it wasn't that good to do it but it made me feel better, happy even. So here i am the secret emo girl. Then one of my class mates found out. Then I told me friends and i was getting more popular. Then.... the school found out. I was going to bed, when my mother called me out. She asked to see my wrist. My arm betrayed me, it was stuck out, palm up. My mom ran her fingers across my cuts. She was mad! I thought I would never here the end of it. Then, my dad (step dad) came home and i got grounded and yelled at the whole weekend. I stopped for a week. Then I was cutting other places, my upper arm and my legs. Then summer vacation began. I was so happy with cutting my legs. Then my mom saw my leg when we were walking in a store. She got really mad and said she would send me to a psychologist if she saw that (my cuts) again. "Well then I guess you wont see them" i thought. (See cutting is an addiction. You get addicted to the adrenaline rush, and your body loves it there for wanting more of it.) Bout i stopped for 2 months, but when we went back to school, the pressure built up, by the end of the 1st week I had cut the tops of my feet. Around the 3rd week of school I had made a great friend, and one of my other friends told her I'm a cutter. She asked to see and I showed her my foot. She nodded and looked away. The next day I was called to the office. I was terrified. When i went in the principal's office. And someone told them that i had ben cutting my feet. They had a counselor scheduled to talk to me after school. By then I was crying, so when I went back to class EVERYONE was asking questions. I just shook my head. they would have to wait. So I saw the counselor. She did not help at all. And then I found out that my new friend (Madison) was the one that told. I was mad at her for awhile. then we became friends and i saw she saved my life. Happy story, right. not Then i got in a fight with my mom about a week later and i cut my inner thighs. I thought it was great. No one would see it. Not, that weekend i was going to a resort with my aunt, uncle, cousin and 2nd cousin. not to mention my family. The resort had a huge pool. I had to make up excuses why i couldn't go in the pool. It was horrible. Then I got really close to my cousin he is 23. (I'm 12) so i told him i was a cutter and he was so cool about it. And he told me he is gay. (he's like those really hot gay guys that you can't help but love) But anyone i go to for help tells me to stop, its not that easy. It is not as simple as just stopping, you have to get to the root of the problem and fix that then work you way up. the problem is, I don't want to stop. Thats my story I had no clue I had it all in me. I hope it helps you.
- Jessica

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 5:52:49 PM
i was abandoned by my mom when i was 2 and molested by her boyfriend when she was still around. then in the 7th grade she came back around and then left me again. then when i was a freshman i got molested by someone who i cared a lot about. then when i was a sophomore my best friend raped me. ive cut myself for the last 6 years because nothing else can calm me down. life is just a series of problems. and we've got to learn possitive ways to deal with them. my best friend recently saw my arms and freaked out. she knows that ive been in and out of many psych hospitals for attempted suicide and she doesnt want me to die. if it wasnt for her love for me i would probably not care so much about stopping. its a really bad habbit. and there are better ways to deal with things.
- dette

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 4:43:04 PM
Cutting starts by hearing about it. Its curiosity...like a drug. People know that people cut themselves because they are unhappy. So when you get down in the hole that you just cant bring yourself up, you hurt yourself by cutting. You then realize that it feels so much better then what your going through. well thats how i started. Im 22 years old. I started cutting myself when i was 12. I have been through so much in my life and for so long i didnt know how to deal with it. cutting, drugs, acohol and pills was what i was doing by 13 from being in pain since i was 7 years old. I lashed out to what made me, not me. i didnt know who i was for soooooo long. I lived in pain for most of my life. I have visible scars from my cuts. They are reminders of what i went through. I hated myself at one point, i hated my dad, i pushed the ones i loved and who loved me away, i was miserable for so long. I remember i cut my legs 67 times in one night. i was really into it. The things that i went through made me cut over and over again becuase as weird as it sounds, it felt SO much better then what was happening in my life. From insecurities to finding out my boyfriend had cheated on me last night and the next day my grandma passing away, feeling so lost, so hurt, my youth was taken from me. There's so much....but I am so happy to say that I have not cut myself in about a year...which is GREAT from how daily i would do it. I found other ways to deal with my problems like actually facing them. I've helped so many people. I can relate so much to people. I take all my experiences and now cherish them because I am so much stronger then i use to be. Trust me, there are still times where i feel like i cant deal with something thats going on and i'll start looking for that sharp object...and i cry even harder when its in my hand, hoping i have the courage to put it down. Its possible. if i did it anyone can do it. I called one of my best friends the last time that happened and asked "why do i feel the need to do it? why did i choose this to be my choice of escape??" she talked me through it (she went thru cutting as well) and i didnt cut. its so much easier when someone you kno that has been there can help you. i didnt think i was strong enough to say no. and i was. i am. Im so proud of myself and i'd only be happier sharing my stories and helping anyone i can out. friend or stranger. no one deserves this addiction but you can fight it. and you will one day be happy...but you have to face your fear and for most people...its yourself. like i said...if i did it...you can too.
- Mary

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 2:19:25 PM
when i used to cut it was because it was my sort of cry for help. at the time i was a middle school student and my step father was beating me. i didnt know what else to do other than to cut. honestly, i couldnt feel the pain. i would see the blood dripping down and never feel a thing. finally i found a guy at my school who had been in a similar situation and he helped me out of it. im not a full time college student in my second year, no longer living with my parents, and working full time. it is possible to get out of it, you just have to find the right person to help you, and have to want help.
- tracy

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 2:11:09 PM
My girlfriend, who I love deeply is a cutter. When I first found out, I over-reacted. I broke up with her. The next day and a half I was utterly miserable without her. I talked to her and we got back together. I've been there supporting her ever since. She says she can't deal with the stress with school, or things like that. It has gotten between us a few times, and I can tell by the way she talks she has low self-esteem. It kills me inside knowing this is how she feels. I know she loves me, but I would never think that cutting could have such an effect on a relationship. I truly love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I will be there for her no matter what happens. Even if she slips, I will be there.
- TJ

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 2:09:32 PM
Cutting is bad and very very dangerous i know because i used to cut all the time, back when i was in high school. I guess i started doing it because i finally went out with the guy of my dreams i loved him alot and he dumped me then i had other problems with this other guy that was my boyfriend and i even had to get 3 restraining orders and i even had to call the cops and go to court, i even had to live with my parents who would fight all the time. I started cutting with a sharp pointy metel and then i would cut with pencils which was dumb and then with scsissors, pens, with knikes, forks, razors and with preety much that cuts. I would only do it on my arms i never understood why i did it though on my arms, i guess i just never wanted to hide it. My parents never found out only 2 of my friends and my sister, oh and my counseler. One night i even cut up to 30 times i liked it alot and when i was done cutting i would cry and feel so stupid for doing what i did. I guess i finally realized that cutting doesnt solve anything it just makes it worse. and finally after 3 years i quit my counseler helped me and my 2 friends helped me now i justcant beleive that i used to do that and now i realize that all i did was wrong and that i was hurting myselp alot. now all i can say is that im HAPPY, and i thank god that im alive and not dead.
- Jeanette

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 1:39:13 PM
i cut myself because i hated myself more and more everytime i messed up with someone. i always felt so horrible and believed i deserved to bleed. i still do, it's because when i told my best friend she just got mad that i hadn't felt confident enough to tell her sooner. i thought telling her would help me, but it turned out as just another reason -M.F.
- Marina F.

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 1:37:54 PM
I am 13 and I cut myself almost everyday. I self harm to deal with my life. This includes family life, school life, and even friend life. When ever I cut I feel like a hundred lb. weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The last time I cut just happened to be a few minutes ago. This time the reason was the way people lead me to belive about my body, and also the crap my sister and family have been giving me. I used to be a happy loved smart girl. I was/am in an advanced math class and I loved school. Now people have led me to belive I am fat and ugly, stupid and just horrible. They treat me like I am invisable or a rock on the ground. I have tried so many ways to get through this and the only way I found that I think works is Self Harm.
- Morgan Leigh W.

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 12:15:50 PM
I USED to cut. I did it on an instinct. An instinct in the way because sometimes we hit ourselves some way on our heads or somehow minorly hurt ourselves on a natural human instinct. But, cutting/burning self harm is taking the natural human instinct up another step. It is a wat to SEE what pain is. Cutting is a way to show yourself that you are alive. Blood will yet you see that you are in a reality, unlike the nightmare you think you are in. The more blood you see, the more it feels like you are living. But also, the more blood will trigger the razor to cut a little deeper next time. It is just to see life in a different way.
- Taryn

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 9:57:10 AM
I cut myself because i was in ALOT of emotional pain. and i thought that if i felt something worse that that emotional pain than it mite not feel as bad. and it made me feel better. that i could be in that much pain from cutting myself that the emotional pain felt like nothing.
- Paige

Tuesday, Oct 6, 2009 - 12:13:53 AM
I used to cut all the time, i have very faint scars on my leg where I would do it, because no one looks directly at yiour leg. I know a few other people who either used to be or are current cutters and they mainly do it to fix the pain. We all agree its a big high when you cut wether its a scratch or a deep cut. I started cutting in junior high because a girl who was "cooler" than me was doing it so i started and got addicted to it. I kept on doing it because it helped with my pain that i was having from school or my family or later from my eating disorder. Im 20 years old. I realized now that I cut for a bit of a high, but I dont have that urge to feel that high anymore, im still recovering from this.
- Megan

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 11:54:26 PM
I realize some people cut themsleves because I guess it is the only pain in their lives that they can control and I feel terrible for all those who feel that their life is so awful that they fall into the cutting phase but I want every cutter who maybe reading this to think about one thing that makes you truely happy whether it be a tastey food or a wonderful child hood memory of playing tag with your friends and everytime you think about cutting (which could kill you) think about how much you would want to feel like that again or how your future child would want to feel that happy and if you aren't here to provide that...I wish all cutters could try to just see the true happiness in life there is always a silver lining you just have to look behind the storm clouds to see it.
- stevie

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 11:53:30 PM
I used to be a cutter. Alot of it stemmed from my past, my mother was abusive and addicted to drugs alcohol and men. My father left when I was ten. I was left to raise my three younger siblings until I was 16 after my grandmother died. We were finally put in a foster home. I never had anyone to talk to. I felt alone, and alot of the time just numb. I could never really feel anything after what I went through from age 10 to 16. I had gotten so used to being beaten to near death and worrying about how I was going to get food to feed the kids that I didnt feel anything anymore. I had no emotions. I have always wanted someone to talk to. Nows my chance. I started cutting when I was eleven years old. I remember driving myself crazy because I had no reaction to anything. I didnt feel normal. I was shaving my legs one night and cut myself really bad on my ankle, I felt a reaction. I thought that was my answer. I was always ashamed of it, and I never told anyone until now. But that was why I cut. To feel something. I remember being beaten by my mother and her numerous borfriends and just not feeling anything, not fear, no pain, no anger... So then, after every time I was beaten, or something bad happened, I would go into my room, close the door, and cut. I would cut so deep that I could see the meat inside the area I was cutting, but I felt ok. Because it was at that point that I felt something, I felt that pain and for that moment I felt like I was normal, like I was alive, somehow just waking up from a dream...
- neisha

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 11:49:53 PM
i dont get y ppl,when ever theyre refering to a cutter,they always say 'she'or'her',like theyre always talking about a girl.but whenever its some emo kid,its always with the 'he'and'his',like its always a guy.but wat they dont get is wat actualy determins cutter from emo.cutters are ashemed of it always,always trying to hid it like it never happened and keep on with their lives the way theyve alwas been.but and emo is more open aobut it,they dont realy hid it but imbrace it almost,the cover up the cuts but only phisicaly with bacelets or something,but otherwise they dont realy care.but then theres jsut posers with wear the clothes,the makeup,watever on their wrists wheither or not they acctually have cuts.ppl dont get wat ppl who cut go threw and,personaly,i dont want them to.i dont want ppl geting in my head,probing me,trying to figure something out,trying to find something that even i cant.im emo,i cut,yeah,watever,but still.that doesnt mean theres something wrong with me.i jsut deal with anger and stress differently then the average person.but none of it fritens me,not even the thought that it could lead to suicid.but wat scares me the most is geting caught.my parents found out once(yeah i kno wat ur thinking,'her parents??',but just to straighten that out im 13(young,i know,and acording to u ive already ruined my life)),i stoped for aobut a month then it was back on.it realy got to me when the other day i was sitting on my bed jsut bringing the blad of the siccors down over and over again on my wrist when by 7yearold brother walked in.i scaed me,he cant know,it would tear away the little guy.my friend is trying to help me,but u can only help someone who doesnt want it so much.luckily im not one of those ppl.i want help,i jsut dont want to addmit it,but she wont help me unless i do.i try,but theyre all feeble attempts.i always go back to it.everyone calls me emo,but no one realy knows.i havent told them and the ppl that ive told havent told anyone.i guess i jsut give off that vib,i fit that stereotype.im not sure if ill ever get over it.my last relationship ended bisicaly because he "couldnt have'someone like me'as a girlfriend",then this guy that im basicaly with right now practicaly encourages me to do it(he cuts himself too see).and i know its wrong and i know that i should stop.but i know i wont. so i think ive touched on everything,but if i havent i will. im jsut sayin.....=)K
- xXZoeXx

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 10:29:24 PM
Hey Dawson, i'm 19 and i basically don't know what to do. i lost my aunt to colon cancer when i was 15. she was taking care of me and we were very close. and also i haven't talked talked about it cause i feel like no one's goin to understand how i feel or what it was like to hear her pain and not be able to do anything about it. now i live with my mom and we've been kinda having a lot of problems, cause i feel like she doesn't understand me since we've been distant bht we do get along sometimes. after my aunt died, i became really suicidal. tried it before but i feel like i din't want to do it, just need someone to talk to and help me. last year for the first time i started cutting myself. whenever i heard that someone cut or used to cut themselves, i would ask myself;why would anyone hate themselves so much? sometimes i get these feelings that are so powerful that i would start looking around the house for something to cut myself with. i actually did it at work too. i need help please!!!!!
- sally b.

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 10:14:28 PM
I have been cutting for 6 years and i am addicted. I have been in therapy for it for almost 5 years. Your body has its own pain management using hormones called endorphines. Endorphines manage physical pain as well as emotional. When someone cuts, endorphines are released and helps the emotional and physical pain. It will make you feel better for a few minutes and then you will crash again. Eventually your body will build a tolerance to it and you will have to cut deeper and/or more frequently and more cuts at one time to get the same effect as before. I myself have tried to stop many times and nothing has helped. I just turned 16 in august and im worried my doctor will send me to a long term treatment center. Dont end up like me. Dont cut.
- Sarah S.

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 10:12:21 PM
I used to cut myself... I did it because I felt worthless and nobody loved me I was depressed. I never went to see anyone or talk to my parents about it. I can't trust them. instead of cutting I think "why would i do this?" "what is it goin to do?" "cutting isnt goin to help anything" I realized cutting isn't a way out it is a way into a deeper whole. if your a cutter and your reading this please STOP AND GET HELP even if I didn't get HELP you can. I stopped because I have GOd on my side and he will guide me through life. [erica]
- erica

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 9:51:47 PM
I started cutting and doing other harmfull stuff/things to myself when I was 9,and I'm now 16 and still cut myself,I cut myself every day. I did it not out of attention but to feel alive,I rather feel hurt and pain then feel nothing at all,but since I was 13 I've felt nothing at all cutting myself and that makes me lose it when I cut myself. I feel kinda sorta somewhat better when I'm all cut up. I cut myself when I'm upset,mad,happy,and or bored.
- Megan

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 9:41:02 PM
I'm 16 I've been a cutter since 5th grade I was maybe 10. My parents separated when my sister and I were 3 months old. My Dad's second wife Kelly, mentally and physically abused us. After they devorced I began athletics to releace my anger, but it wasn't enough. It was almost like I was never happy. Every night before I fell asleep I would cut myself usually on the back of my hands or upper thighs. I was more worried about feeling that high that I'd get when the pain was arousing and unbarable at the same time. If I skipped a night I'd cut at school with a hidden razor blade from my wallet. I learned quickly that people were quick to ask questions, stereotype, and judge. Like being gay wasn't enough I was also a cutter. In the middle of the softball season freshman year I became freinds with a good friend of mine: Ashley. She helped me to stop. I found cutting worse than drugs because you want to do it all the time, you don't care where you are it's almost like you can't go on without it. Until you realize what your doing to yourself and the people around you.
- Liz M.

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 9:27:27 PM
i cut and i cut becuz i have so much pain on my heart of all the deaths with war and i think i hav ptsd no i wasnt in the army i watched my grandfather die nd i dream of dying nd i dream of seeing soldiers dead on the battle field that i wanna be there cuz im just tierd of living i wanna be with them so i cut to distract my pain with the pain on my wrist nd i askd other cutters they said they do it to distract the pain on there heart to
- india baker

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 9:22:15 PM
i was listening to your show tonight (by the way i love it!!!) and i desided to tell you my story. i started cutting myself REALLY early, earlier than most kids would even think about it. i was in 4th drade and i didn't hav any friends any more and i was quite sick with bronkitus for 6months. all the kids would be so mean to me and the teachers would yell at me simply for coughing. i would sit in class and dig my nails into my skin til i bleed. soon things cleaned up for me though. until this year. now im in 7th grade. my freinds were back stabbing me and just one friend would get mad for a simply reason and then BAM no one else would talk to me. my boyfriend and i are really close but he was acting really different and he only told my best friend wat was wrong. my parents didn't care about me and i had no place to turn, no shoulder to cry on. people would actually come up and id be talking to them and they'd tell me they wanted me to be dead. i've often almost committed suidice, its never far from my head. that day i almost did, but then i cut myself. really cutting isn't something to be joked about as it is. we have problems in our lives that push us to cut ourselves and it can become adictive. i've currently stopped cutting myself but i have no doubt i'll get sucked back in. i get so mad at myself! but any way, i hope this helps your understanding so that you can help many other people with this problem
- kate

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 4:52:21 PM
My best friend cuts herself. She's been through a lot. Her mother beats her and blames all of her problems on her. So whenever she feels like something is her fault or she hurt someone, she cuts herself. She cuts herself because she wants to feel the pain that she thinks she's put tem through. What she doesn't realize is that by cutting herself, she hurts us more. Especially because- she's done it more than twice, but i only know the reasons for 2 of the times- every time she cut herself that I know the reason, I've felt like its my fault. Cutting herself makes her friends hurt more and it makes me hate myself. Everytime I get upset with her and say something, I worry after "Oh no! What if i made her cut herself again???" Some Cutters dont realize that hurting themselves hurt others too.
- Jamie

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 4:20:19 PM
I used to cut myself (and still do sometimes) when I need to know that I'm still alive, that I havnt died of the emotional pain I'm feeling. To feel the pain on my body from cutting reminds me that I'm still alive. I havnt cut in a few months, and its nver more then just a scratch anymore since I almost died once from doing it. I hate that I do it, and I'm trying to find other outlets and other ways to remind myself that I'm alive.
- Caitlyn

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 4:16:22 PM
i'm a cutting still trying to quit. when i cut i do it to forget about what i'm feeling. to feel i different pain that i have more control over.
- sheila

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 3:39:13 PM
My friend cuts and I keep telling her she needs to stop and one of the things I tell her is event though she has a bad faimly and a bad past she has me and all of her other friends
- Kaylee

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 3:38:36 PM
They cant take the pain they get emotionally absued its sad but they want to feel loved and doin that helps them think about other things than what they have been though.
- Taylar

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:57:25 PM
It helped me release pain. Not only pain, but it was the one thing that I could control. How hard, how deep, how often. So no matter how many other things i felt i couldnt control in my life, it was one thing I could do, and show myself that Im still alive. i still feel like any other normal human being. It wasnt that I was depressed, I just felt my life wasnt mine anymore. At one point I even carved "hurt" into my leg, because i felt i couldnt hurt anymore. I also feel im different because I love my scars. Each one seems to tell a different story. Im recovering from this..every now and then I get an urge and I fight it. Im stronger then this. I dont need to cut to make myself feel alive anymore. At least a year strong, longest was two years. It can be beat..
- Lisa

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:52:10 PM
i have scars on my arms from past cutting and believe me, even though i've tried scar healing medicines and they work somewhat my scars are still there and will be there for years to come. everyday i look down and i remember exactly why i did it, but wish so badly i hadn't. its something, once its there, it stays. i constantly think to myself "what will i say when my future kid looks up at my arm and says 'what's that?'"- and that alone is enough to make me feel horrible daily because of some temporary relief of stress and pain. talk to someone! living with this sort of feeling is the worst, and no one should ever feel the need to resort to this.
-

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:51:27 PM
I started cutting when I was 13.. I have innumerable scars, but oddly I am not bothered by them. They are a part of my life and I wear them with no regret. My parents got divorced when I was 8 because my mom was physically and emotionally abusive and had violent rages. I think that some part of what started me cutting was that I never had any idea how to express my feelings. My mom was a poor model, when she got angry she would scream and yell. My dad just ignored or became passive aggressive about things that bothered him. I never talked about my feelings and was not allowed to get angry or upset (sometimes because my dad didnt handle it well and sometimes because I was afraid I would end up like my mom). I started cutting because I didnt know how to let out my frustration and hopelessness in a constructive way. When I did it I would focus so intensely on the act of cutting, watching the blood seep out, and then cleaning and hiding the evidence that I would feel calm and in control when I was done. It was like a ritual to purge my feelings. I am now 25 and though I dont cut as often or as recklessly as I used to, I still have moments when I just cant handle how I am feeling and I give in.. I think for me it has a lot to do with control. There are so many things in life that hurt you, at least this one hurts on your terms. “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” Kahlil Gibran
- Aleka

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:41:48 PM
I do not cut, but i do have many friends that do. Well, i think most of them cut just because others do to be popular but in some cases that is probably not it. I've herd that they cut to evan out the emotional pain. And to clear there mind of the bad thoughts that linger in there mind by bringing pain to themselves so it overwelms there body for only a couple minutes/seconds.
- Christina

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:41:22 PM
Cutting is a drug for some people. It seems like they think they are not worth talking to someone about their pain. Instead they cope by physically watching their "pain" leave their body. It is always a secret though.
- Sarah

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 9:58:12 AM
I will be 18 in april and have cut since i was 12. I quit in december of 2007 and then recently this month started back up. I cut to release the pain from the inside by causing pain on the outside. Many people do not understand why cutters do this unless they have cut before. It jus numbs me while i am going thru my depression becuz i am bipolar and get so angry i could really hurt someone and i hate feeling that way so i hurt myself notonly by cutting but also by punching myself to the point where there r bruises. Sometimes i cants stop. i hope this helps u understand
- Cassie S.

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 9:56:03 AM
I am 26y/o I will be 27 in late november. I have been cutting since I was 17y/o. While I was in patient at a psych hospital there was a girl there who scratched herself. I then started from there. At first it was for attention like most people. As of 5-6years ago I started to cut/burn/bruise myself to get rid of the deep emotional pain I had. Also to punish myself for things I have done wrong and/or am ashamed about. I wanted a release from the pain I was experiencing. I figured that outside pain was better then being with the emotional pain. I wish I never started because it is a deep rooted addiction I have. I wish I could stop but every time I reach a 3 weeks to a month I self injure all over again. If I could tell people one thing about Self injury it would be to never start because Your body is a temple of God and to harm it is to disrespect God. Punishing yourself is like saying the pain that Jesus endured on the Cross for our sins was not enough.
- Stacy

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 3:07:26 AM
The first time I self injured was in 5th grade when I hit my head against a tiled, concrete wall. I used to literally beat myself up for years. In my late teens, early 20's I did some cutting all over my body. I quit the cutting because someone once told me the truth, you only forget about your emotional pain for a moment but it's like a drug, you come down from it and you feel much worse than you did before because you have to deal with the emotional pain that comes from cutting on top of what emotional pain you were already feeling. When my dad died when I was 30 and I could find no consolation from others I resorted to banging my head against a chair and beating myself up again once. That was a couple of years ago. It's not something I like to do. I resist it when I have a temptation. There have been times I thought about doing it but didn't. It's hard when nobody's there for you emotionally during times when you need help. God is always there and prayer helps me get through it and to resist the temptation when it happens.
-

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 3:06:30 AM
I used to be a cutter, I did it because I hold all my emotional damage inside and it was my way of releasing. It was like the blood was my problems, and as I it was like my problems were being let out.
- Danielle

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 2:39:44 AM
Well.....A couple weeks ago i wuz litteraly going phsyco i coulden't sleep or think straight after i got in a fight with my dad i went to my room and started breaking down i threw a glass cup against the wall it broke i wuz having thoughts about cutting but i coulden"t bear to see the faces of the ones i love when they found out so i went to my counseler and told hermy story she made a call home and when i was talking to my family it helped SOOOO much when i went to school the next day knowing that my family knew how i felt gave me relif now im as happy as ever cuttings not the awnser if u talk about it with someone you trust it lifts ALOT of of your shoulders well thank you for reading Bye:Neffy
- Neffy

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 2:35:42 AM
I started cutting myself because I was having lots of difficult times with my boyfriend and best friend and rumors...it helped me get away from it all for a little bit...my best friend noticed I cut myself and she pulled me 2 the side and asked me why and said she's never been so worried...the look on her worried face is the reason 2day I don't cut myself anymore...and I can look at my scars and see how far I've come...her expession changed my life...she saved my life.
- Sydney

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 2:18:39 AM
Hi my name is christian I have been a cutter for 3 years now and the reason I do it is BC all my loved ones have hurt me all of them and I feel as if I should hurt my self BC I must be doing something wrong or there is just something wrong with me so everytime I got hurt by a loved on or the memories came back I cut it releases a lot it makes me feel as if I am some one and later on I found out their was something wrong with me I was making my life short by cutting my loved ones made me feel that way BC they were trying to help me tbry didn't mean to make me feel that way but I am still in the process of stopping!!!!!and I recommended the same 4 yall that do cut as well!!!!!
- christian

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 2:17:04 AM
I have pretty much always been a cutter. I started when I was in 6th grade. At first it was just a stress reliever, but now as I get older, it feels like it's my only "safe place". I say this because it is the only thing I know I can do right, even though it is so bad for me. I am 17 now but my 18th birthday is next month. My cutting is not as frequent as it used to be, and not as deep. My left arm is pretty much just one big scar now, and my right arm is just a little scarred up, but I'm so afraid that it will end up just like my left arm. I don't know what to do anymore. I am in college and of course I have some friends to talk to, but it's like it doesn't help at all. Sometimes instead of cutting, I will smoke. It's not a little bit of smoking either, it's like I smoke like a chimney in the winter time. It also doesn't help that I think I might be pregnant. It makes me so scared to even think about it, and it makes me want to cut even more, but I know that if I am pregnant and I cut too deep or at all, then it would probably kill my baby. I feel so alone.
- Jillian

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 2:15:44 AM
I think cuttimg is wrong yet I do cut. it is an addiction and is hard to break. if you cut get out while you can. your not only hurting yourself but those who care about you
- nikki

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:55:22 AM
I have never personaly cut my self but one of the better explanations is that people cut there selves because when they do it gives them physical pain which will heal and they can overcome and it masks the emotional pain that they can't recover from.
-

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:51:20 AM
Cutting for me was a very calming and soothing thing and it always made me feel better. Even though I knew it wasn't good or healthy, it just seemed like the only way out, ya know? I wasn't getting help from anyone else because honestly not many people knew. It was always so peaceful watching to blood flow, and I loved the feeling of the razor (or whatever I decided to use) going into my arm or leg. Sorry to sound sick and twisted, but that's how a lot of cutters feel. Not only have I been a cutter (well recovering now), but a lot of my friends and boyfriend have struggled with cutting....so it's definitely not just girls either. It's mostly girls, but it's definitely becoming more of an issue with guys now...I know of a lot of guys who cut as well. It's just all a matter of how we cope with things
- Michelle

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:22:40 AM
i use to cut myself about 5 years ago when i was 14 and 15. i started doing it when my parents got divorced. i admitt the first time i did it was partially for attention and also just to see what it felt like but eventually i started doing it every time i got in an arguement w/ someone or something bad happened. each time i cut more and more times, marking every 50 w/ a longer or deeper one. once my guidance counselor at school found out(one of my friends reported me to her)she would call me down to her office out of the blue and send me to the clinic to get it cleaned up. eventually i started seeing a real counselor. she recomended that instead of cutting that a put a rubber band on my arm and instead of cutting to just snap it and evenually helped a little. i then saw a psychiatrist and began taking anti- depressants. people that dont cut dont understand, most of them anyway. when i cut, it was the site of the blood(in a weird and creepy way) that made me feel better. i figured cutting was a way to release my feelings instead of taking them out on other people around me but it only caused more problems. i have 675 scars on my left forearm that i must stare at every day. i catch myself trying to hide that arm so no one asks about it but sometimes they see. i tell everyone that asks so that they can help hold me to never doing it again. i havent cut in 5 years 1 month and 10 days. i recommend that anyone who suffers from depression find help and see a psychiatrst for anti depressants. i have never felt better.
- Trevor

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 1:12:22 AM
I started cutting when I got stressed about school and my friends. My best friend found out that I cut and then she did it just so she would get more attention than me. I have always been the kind of person that sits in the background and nobody pays attention to me. I get frusturated easily because I always try to get attention from guys but the skinny pretty girls take over. I put my self down and I am so self concious so I cut to release the emotional pain with physical pain.
-

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:58:14 AM
I have been cutting for about 2yrs, i try everyday to stop but if i dont then it leads to other things, so no matter what im doin something to hurt myself. I am now in 9th grade and i started when i was in 7th, i went through so much in my home life and school life its hard to explain, i was never happy with myself, i acted all happy and hyper just to make other peole happy so they werent like me and so they woudnt see that i wasnt happy because they would just be like, whats wrong? and i would just lie so i acted happy. i stopped cutting for awhile but then i started to smoke weed the summer before 8th grade and now i turn to that to help me feel happy and just to forget all the things i go through. Becides the things at home i also have major stess problems so that littlest thing that happen to me, i will get deppressed and do something that i think will help me. and now i am in 9th grade and i now have bulimia...i just try so many things to make me feel good about myself, and because of all those things that i do it just makes me feel ever worse after because i cant get out of it. My parents dont know any of this and im trying to keep it that way, if they ever found out...i dont even want to know what would happen. People always ask, why do poeple cut themselves? its different for defferent people but for me its physical pain over mental pain, it makes me forget about whats goin on in life, even for a few moments, its worth it. I dont know what else to do, i wish i have never started cutting, drugs, or throwing up, but i just dont know what else to do. I try everyday and i have to say that i dont do it as much, but the fight still isnt over. And i dont tell people this cause they would probably just think that i was just telling them cause i wanted them to feel bad for me what that is not true at all! so yeah thast my story. Whats yours?
- Becca

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:50:27 AM
SOME PEOPLE "CUTTERS" THEY ARE CALLED DO THAT TO THEM SELF'S FOR ATTENTION. CUTTERS DONT CUT TOO DEEP OR ON A VEIN. THEY CUT TO RELIEVE PAIN THAT THEY HAVE OR IT'S A CRY FOR HELP. I KNOW THIS B/C A HIGH SCHOOL/CO-WORK WAS ONE AND I ASKED WHY SHE DID IT AND TRY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT HER PROBLEMS..
- Tia

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:47:20 AM
i stopped cutting because of my boyfriend, hes helped me a lot and whenever i want to cut he tells me to think of good thingz, i had cut because of the names i used to be called and it hurt, i felt like my mom didnt care about me and that hurt me more
-

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:41:20 AM
I started cutting to take away my emotional pain. My mother was abusing me and my physical pain was nothing compaired to my emotional pain. My parents were divorced and I hadn't told my dad what was going on with my mom. The last time I cut, my mom told me that she hated me and wished that I would die and that I was the worst freaking mistake that she had ever made. The part that hurt the most was that I spent my whole life with my mother and then she turned on me like that. My assistant principle found out about me cutting my arms and I was sent to the hospital for a pshyc test and then I was sent to a treatment facility and I moved in with my dad and I haven't cut since.
- Jennifer

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:36:16 AM
I cut because it would help me deal w/ bad relationships and that the physical pain over came my emotional pain and i dnt cut anymore because i found a girl that made me stop
- Josh v.

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:35:14 AM
I cut myself because I was very jealous of some one but they started going through hard times. I thought if I was in pain like my friend, then my life would be like hers.
- Tori

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:27:57 AM
cutting is verry dangerous i did it just last week. I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, FIRST AND LAST TIME. you need to respect your self and care for your body.
- gabriel s.

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:16:27 AM
My sister in law cuts occasionally.but we try and catch her before she does and were doing good.but i asked her why and she told me that she did it because she had control over it and it took the stress away and i told her she didnt need to because i love her and dont want to lose her.also she was abused at home before marring my brother and sexually abused this past january and a few years back by her uncle.so i think thats half of her problem but she wont go to a conceler.but she hasnt cut in a few weeks and im glad.almost but we got her before she did.so im hoping she can get past this with all of us together
- Jamie

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:07:18 AM
I have friends who cut themselfs, and I've heard many reasons why they do so. I know of a couple who cut because they would rather feel physical pain that emotional. I also think that some cutters cut because they know if they get to emotional they might take it out on others, so instead they take it out on themselfs.
- Missy

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:04:21 AM
I have cut once or twice and I'm only 13. I cut when I get in fights with people or am criticized about my body. I've found the satisfaction of cutting wears off after a while so I've stopped. My two very close friends who just broke up with eachother however show up to my house covered in deep gaahe on their wrists, hips, and arms. It's scary. I love them both so much but how can I make them stop?
- Kay

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:03:26 AM
I started cutting last year during school, i was 17. I cut because I felt nobody cared about me. I wanted to kill myself but was too afraid. My parents always expected to much out of me at school. Nobody really cared what happened to me. I would cut my arms and my hips. that way nobody could see it. I ended up talking to my school counselor and they tried to help me. They actually made me feel like i was something and i could amount to something good. my advice to anyone who cuts or thinks about cutting to talk to someone, because you can get over it just like i did! Somebody cares!!
- rebecca

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:02:39 AM
Don't cut yourself. It only hurts u
- 234567

Monday, Oct 5, 2009 - 12:02:15 AM
I was addicted to cutting for 5 years. It really is an addiction. The razor blade is like alcohol to an alcoholic. You need it and you can't function without it. I did it because I felt like I could handle the physical pain better than the emotional pain. Some people do it for attention and it is a cry for help. I, however, did not. I only cut places where no one could see... (Thighs, hips, breasts.) Blood also had a very calming effect on me. There are a few reasons that people cut. Anyway, it was really hard to quit. When you're a cutter, anything can be a potential weapon. The worst weapon, is yourself. I battled through it and came out on top. Now, I'm happy with my life even though it's hard. I'm in college and working to become a psychologist. I think the most important thing I want people to know... You are not alone.
- Nicky

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:38:13 PM
I cut because I dont feel loved, nobody notices me, i hate myself so i much i feel like im a wh*** and a sl** so i cut because it feels right and i feel loved when i cut
- Ashley

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:37:28 PM
My friend was cuttin herself and she almost killed herself
- Angel

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:35:22 PM
Because they are going thro a lit an on drugs or something
- Tyneisha Mc.

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:26:58 PM
well dawson, you told us to write why we do it so i will, i cut myself, because it's like an adrenaline the pain is such a sudden rush for me. i do it every time im mad, and i dont know what else to do, i guess. and at the time you forget everything, i dont know why schools and stuff are making a big deal out of it, because its not.
- tara

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:26:27 PM
my friend brandy cuts her self she says she says she does it because she gets sad and depressed and also it releases her stress and i always tell not to do it but she says that she cant help it she just gets so sad also she does weed and drinks and i dont know how to get her out of it.Also shes tried suicide by hanging herself and i really want her to have a nice life but i just dont know what to do or tell her to at least make her concious that what shes doing is wrong.
- Karelys

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:25:58 PM
people cut themselves because they've been in isolation for too long. they want to just make sure if they can still feel... something. I myself have never actually tried 'cutting' so I am not really accurate at this. there are many many reasons to why people cut themselves, but the most common one is because they feel alone. they feel that they are going through this certain time of their lives without anyone there to be with them, to guide them. it's common in teenage years, everyone knows it.
- Kimberlee

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:17:31 PM
You don't cut because you've never had a healthy emotional relationship. That often isn't the reason you cut. I cut because it made me feel in control when the world around me was in chaos. I cut when someone told me that I can't do something, that I couldn't be something. I cut so say "yes I can", not because my relationships with people were horrible.
- Andrea

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 11:14:03 PM
people cut themselfs because they are sad. people have put them down in their lives. hurt them really bad or someone has beat them like they have done to me. or it could be a boyfriend/girlfriend issue where they just cut there self.
- tara

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:57:38 PM
I personally don't understand it but i have a friend that deals with it. She goes in and out with it. we all try to tell her it's not worth it. What do u tell a person that does that. Or what do u do to get them to relize it not worth it.
- Amanda

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:48:03 PM
It helps release pain.You can't get rid of the emotional pain but you can try distracting yourself with physical pain which isn't as bad.
- Elizabeth

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:44:12 PM
I used to cut myself, I haven't for a really long time and am very thankful that I haven't. The reason I cut was exchanging emotional pain with physical pain.
- Cassie

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:35:28 PM
It releases endorphins and and stress it makes you feel better -Tony
- Tony S.

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:35:02 PM
This helped me realize Somewhat why someone close to me cuts... But what can be done to lessen or even stop the addiction of cutting? Thanks
- Aj

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:14:12 PM
I have been a cutter for about 9 years and im going to turn 17 in two months so i have been cutting for a long time and i can say that it is very addicting and without support it is almost imposible to even resist the urges i can say that i have quite a good support group now because i have finally decied to tell people about it. it has been a great help to have people who understand how i feel and what i am going through. along with cutting i tend to smoke and drink to resist the urges but some times i end up doing all three anyway. i am trying to stop cutting but it is very hard. the smoking and drinking arent as hard to stop because i am not addicted but cutting is something else it has its own catagory of addictiveness and i cant seem to overcome it but i may one day find the one person who can help....or i may have already found her thanx Netta love ya!!! -Jess-
- Jessica

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 10:13:22 PM
i self harm(cut)to mask my inner pain. basically im hiding behind my scares that's the best i can explain sorry im not much help :)
- nash

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 9:48:54 PM
i started cutting two years ago when a relationship turned sour and i began to feel taken advantage of and was abused for the first time. since then i continually feel inadequate for those around me. everyone got attention except for me, or i just was never good enough even for the simplest things. i felt numb and rejected. and when i didn't feel the numbness, I'd rather be able to control the pain and be the one causing it then to let someone else hurt me. and when i was numb, i'd cut just to remember what it felt like to hurt. i've haven't cut in a long time, but i think about it all the time. and think about doing it again, just because my situation is bad and i'd rather feel anything but what i am.
- Michelle

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 9:13:51 PM
I cut myself to forget.When my arm is hurting & bleeding i don't have to think about anything or anyone else thats ever hurt me.I don't do it as much as i used to not unless the pain that i'm going through is almost unbearable.
- sadie

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 6:04:50 PM
I never really cut myself, but came very close to it at one point. Close enough that i had to get out of my room, where i have a lot of knives, to keep myself from cutting. However, one of my close friends did cut themselves. They came to class one day with their arm bandaged up and when I asked them what happened, they showed me a picture on their phone of the arm they cut. I asked them why, and they said, "I don't really know." But there also was a factor of missing parental love, possible sexual abuse, and a major want of attention. Could cutting just be another way for people to get attention? That obviously turns into an addiction. For me when I almost cut it was easier to deal with the physical pain than the emotional pain. For my friend, it might've been for attention, but there was a lot going on in their life that could've contributed to it.
- icexist

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 4:35:36 PM
I'm in my early 20s and I've been cutting for 3 years this summer. I actually started when I was 15 and cut for a very short time. It started again when I was in college. I tend to cut when I'm upset because I don't know how to vent my anger in a normal way. I don't have as much trouble expressing sadness (I.E. I cry more easily than I did in highschool) but I have a lot of trouble knowing how to handle my anger. I cut maybe once a month if that and that has been an improvement for me compared to how often I was cutting. I get frustrated when people try to push me to stop. I think stopping is something you have to *want* because it takes a lot of hard work. But I think it's worth it. I have a lot of scars and those make me feel really terrible about myself. It's hard to realize I will have those for the rest of my life.
- Cassie

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 2:02:22 PM
I started cutting when i was in the 12. i am now 14 almost 15. it was the only thing i could look to for help. i never thought any other way would help me out. i still cut but i have gone a good month or so. but i have tryed to cut myself again, but have held back urges. i cut because of stress, depression, failure, family problems, and my head telling me diffrent things like your ugly, your fat, nobody likes you. it makes me wanna cut. i have carved in the word LOVE into my stomach, and cut my legs, arm and stomach. i cant seem to stop.
- Kayla B.

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 12:02:15 PM
i use to cut myself to feel better about the deeper pain i started to cut myself when i was 15 when i was 15 i was sexly abused and i thought it was my fault and it was the only way i could deal the the much bigger pain i had i got in to my frist real relationship after being rapped and still cute myself my boyfriend use to get so mad at me when i would cut myself cuz he didnt understand why i did it i finely stoped cutting myself after about 3 or 4 years after being with him it was around the time i had my daughter as well then i didnt cut myself again till my dad died he was my life and it hurt so bad i trun back to cutting myself i don t cut myself as much as i use to but it is still there it is something i trun to when i cant deal with the deep down pain
- chrissy

Sunday, Oct 4, 2009 - 12:37:50 AM
i'm a cutter and i can't tell why its so addicting to me. i started back when i was like 12 or 13. after some bad experiences with a stupid church, untrustworthy people and my sisters boyfriend trying to rape me. guess i do it, cause at least it makes me feel like for once, i'm in charge of what happens.
- rebecca

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 11:49:17 PM
look i understand that when you are sad that you turn to cutten but trust me it hurts more to your self then you know you can't stop telling your self why did i do this to me. i used to cut i sometime think of doing again. but i even think of doing it again i will lose everything in my life. so the next time you think of doing it.remember what i said for every cut is your soul coming out of you. i lost my friends did bad thing. doing thing to kill my pain from coming to me. so plase thank your friends for helping you threw your hard times from carly s.
- carly s.

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 10:42:47 PM
I have been using cutting since I was about 16. I was being frequently abused and it was the only thing that helped. It started out so slowly. Just using my keys or a thumb tack about every 2 weeks or so. The marks were gone in just a few hours to a day. Mostly just a scrap. Then over the years it snowballed into cutting 1-3 times a day to keep the nightmares, flashbacks and just emotional pain in check. Cutting has been my medication for feeling better for a long time. My arms and shoulders have scars. It's embarrassing to be asked what happened. Having to come up with some stupid lie of how the cat scratched me or I fell. It's been a battle trying to stop. Things are better these days, and I can go a few days to a week now without cutting. I still have a ways to go. Cutting is not a cure for how you feel. It just covers it up for a while. You will still hurt when the relief fades. You have to get down to the heart of the matter. Heal what the real problem is. Then you won't need to cut in the first place.
- Stanley

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 7:57:58 PM
I've been a cutter for a month or so and I know that's not long. I did it because I was in a severe depressional state and was tormented by terrible thoughts. " youre fat! You're ugly! Go kill yourself! Your mom hates you! You get bad grades! People hate you!" and more thoughts like that. I also cut because it relieved my stress and was like my little button that could turn off my mind but it never lasted long enough so I cut more and more till my left wrist was full of cuts. Now i'll carry that forever but Luckly I saught out help but it's landed me in a foster home right now because my mom isn't helping me. Now I'm 16 days free but the scars will last
- Dorothy

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 7:25:10 PM
For me cutting is a way to push out all the bad things in my life. The only good thing from it is that it helps to remind me i'm alive and has stopped me from suicide many times.
- Steven

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 5:31:23 PM
I cut cuz its a way to hide the wreck I really am, it makes me feel sane in a way. I have tryed to quit but I really can't I have been trough soo much and now I can go a good two weeks with out cutting but then every thing becoms to much. I don't know how to stop!!
- Kayla

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 12:35:13 PM
I was sexually abuse by someone when i was six years old and i blamed myself for it, my dad used to hit me and my brother, my mom went to prison when i was young, and i didnt have any childhood what so ever and couldnt deal with my pain, so, i started cutting myself three years ago and still do it. I am addicted to it. It is still a release as you said and gives me a short time to finally not feel the emotional pain i go through every day. I face the challenges of making it through everyday with my "mask" on makign everybody think there is nothing wrong with me. Cutting is the only way for me to let my emotions and anger out on myself.
- kassi

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 2:47:52 AM
ok,well i think cutting is based on whats just in that persons HEAD!
- leah s.

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 2:07:13 AM
Yes I was a cutter and kinda still is. I started when I was 16 year old and now am 23 year old. I started cutting because of abuse that I suffer from as a young child and it constains physical,mentally,sexual and emotional abuse. I cutt all over my arms 2 to 3 times a day and gave me more power over my life. I felt like I dont belong here that I wasnt going to end up to be anyone so why even try. It was like I was living two lives because for along time no one knew I was cutting. while 22 months ago I was at college and I started to use everything to cut myself stamples, scissors, butterknife, razors and everything else I might of had. That specfic night was my changing night my roommate want and told someone and it was so bad a cop had to take me to the health center at college to get me help and get down to the real problems. Am proud to say in the last 22 months since that night I have cut once and after that I want and told my pastor and talked to him for 2 hours and since then I been free from this addiction but, the sad part the things and reasons that were making me do this acted have not stopped so I wasted all that time hurting myself for no reason. Only good thing is I have became a lot stronger and have a great support group and a better relationship with our Heavenly Father. I'm not going to lie I have thoughts of doing it again because of what going on in my life and how my family is. So I am going to leave you with these words. Everyday is a challege and everyday that I dont harm myself is one day closer to fully be recovered. God Bless Ashley:)
- Ashley C.

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 1:54:07 AM
I am a cutter. I have been for about 12 years. I stopped about 5 years ago and have started again. I do it because the pain calms me and even if it is just for a minute takes away the emotional pain. For me, the physical is easier to handle than the emotional. I am not saying that this is the best way to handle things, but for people like me it is the easiest.
- Michelle

Saturday, Oct 3, 2009 - 1:48:57 AM
Couldn't the people that hadn't yet started but have had thoughts about it, use rubber bands rather then knives??
- Lauren

Friday, Oct 2, 2009 - 10:46:21 PM
I had a secret admirer, and she cut herself everytime she saw me. It was really weird because she turned out to be the best girlfriend i ever had.
- Corey P.