Why Do People Cut Themselves? Part 2

Cutting can be a substitute for anger toward someone else, usually an authority figure.

Well, you did it again. I received so many of your responses as to why you, or someone you know, cuts themselves. I’m blown away. Thank you! You gave so many reasons, I won’t be able to cover them all this week, but I promise to talk with you about as many reasons as I can find. Why am I doing that? Because helping you to know why you do what you do, is a great way to start you down the road to recovery. And trust me, every cutter can recover.

Last week, I gave you a general reason why people cut. If you are a cutter, you self-mutilate, causing pain to your body, to try to cover over an even deeper emotional pain. All cutters believe the physical pain they inflict upon themselves gives a temporary sense of relief from the intense emotional pain they are feeling. In this blog, I want to uncover a few more reasons why people cut. But keep in mind, you or someone you know, always cuts for some kind of relief. So let’s begin.

People cut to release anger, without hurting anyone else. Cutting can be a substitute for anger toward someone else (usually an authority figure). Many cutters admit to being in painful or abusive relationships. Most people in abusive relationships feel stuck, or imprisoned, in that relationship. They feel powerless, even though their rage and fear scream out to be released. Cutting gives them that sense of release.

Many people who cut say they feel they don't fit in or that no one understands them.

Janet uses cutting to release her anger. “Every time I get pushed in walls or thrown on the floor or chewed out for something I didn’t do, it makes me go to the bathroom where I keep my knife and I start cutting on my stomach and upper part of my legs so no one sees it. I wish I knew how to control this.” Janet does not understand although cutting herself does give her a feeling of relief, it too, causes her to feel trapped all over again.

People cut to deal with abandonment and loneliness. Many people cut because they feel so isolated, abandoned, and alone. If you are a cutter, there’s a good chance you are also a loner, and what you do is often in secret. You don’t feel like you fit in anywhere, and so you fit in to your own little world. Cutting brings some pleasure into that little world, giving a sense of purpose and something to do to feel better about your isolation or being rejected.

Cutting may feel like a way of "waking up" from a sense of numbness after a traumatic experience.

Ashley said she’s been a cutter for three years now. “I cut myself to ease the pain I feel when I think of my dad. My dad left me on my 11th birthday. He did not say bye or I love you or see you soon—nothing. So I began to cut my wrist. Then he came back on my 12th birthday drunk and then left two days later. About a week later I asked him why he left and he said he needed to drink. Then I cut myself everyday. Now I am 13 years old and I still cut myself over him.”

Ashley is so lonely and feels so neglected by the man she loves the most. She feels she has no place to turn but to herself, and those fleeting moments of relief cutting offers her. Can you identify with Ashley? I promise you, you or someone you know, most certainly can. There is hope for you. Be patient. I will be offering that hope in the coming weeks.

People who cut may have had a traumatic experience — such as living through abuse, violence, or a disaster. Often, when someone has been through a disaster, they become emotionally numb, or shut their emotions down in order to avoid reliving the pain, over and over again. While that seems like a good idea, it is a huge mistake. We are not designed to be emotional zombies, or to be dead inside. In the end, the cutter desperately wants something to help them feel alive. Sadly, cutting may feel like a way of "waking up" from this sense of numbness and emotional death they have put upon themselves. That is why it is so hard for many cutters to turn away from cutting. When they self-mutilate, it’s the only time they really feel alive.

Cutting may make you feel alive, for a while, but in the end, it delivers its own sense of deadness and worthlessness.

Jennifer powerfully describes how she uses cutting to deal with her trauma. As you read her comments, ask yourself, is she describing me? “Approximately nine years of continuous sexual abuse has left me with an irreversible impulse to destroy myself in whatever way possible. I hate myself for something that I couldn't control, something that was not my fault, but I don't persecute my abuser, only myself. The plethora of emotions are all turned inward. The scars on my arms are permanent tattoos of worthlessness and pain. I can't cry anymore, so cutting does it for me."

Amber said cutting is not about the physical abuse but the internal. “I was molested once when I was younger and again when I was 16 on school property. I never turned the guy in and guilt about it drove me to cut even worse. I became addicted to the relief and escape cutting gave me from not having to feel so dead inside.” Cutting may make you feel alive, for a while, but in the end, it delivers its own sense of deadness and worthlessness. In a sense the so-called cure becomes far greater than the sickness.

Other Reasons People Cut:
• A lack of ability to express feelings
• To feel in control
• To cry out for help or get attention
• Self-hate or they think they deserve it
• Desperation
• Because of other mental health problems

You might see yourself in one or many of these reasons. Next week, I’m going to write about what physically and emotionally happens when you cut. Please continue to tell me your stories. As you tell your story, you are coming out of your emotional hiding place and saying you don’t want these horrible feelings to have control over you any longer. I am moved by your bravery.

Friday, Oct 16, 2009 - 12:40:25 AM
i have been cutting since i was the smmer before 8th grade. it helps me to release my stress. my parents just recently found out and i need another way out. they dont listen to what i have to say. they think im psyco. a freind of theirs polietly told her that yelling and screaming at me would only make me want to do it more but they dont care. All i hear is "this is just for attention" "thanks to you me and your dad arent going to sleep anymore" "now we have to spend more money on you" "we are sending you off."" quit crying you did it to yourself" they are not commpzassionate at all it feels like i am walking into a marines home were no one can show emotion. it hurts me even more to c that no matter what everything is always about them. i cant talk to them because iim just having a pity party. i dont know what else to do Dawson plz e-mzil me back i have already tried your hopeline and got your book on cuting. - daisha
- daisha g.

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 11:51:08 PM
Well to be perfectly honest Dawson i did it to see myself bleed. It gave me a feeling of just letting go. I started doin it to scare people and get attention from others. Then i liked it...for awhile. I encourage people not to do it now because, "you mite have to explain the scars of the past to the children of the future", if you get my point.
- Kevin H.

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 11:25:59 PM
i have talked to a lot of people and most of them have told me that they only cut because if it hurts anywhere else but the heart it will take the affect of heartache away
- George K.

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 7:45:09 PM
i have cut myself for about 3 years. I first started when my best friend got takien for jail and he didn't even do the crime. I cryed all the time and cut myself daily. then he got out and I did it a lil less. My boyfriend got me to finally stop but them 3 months later he dumped me. So then I started again. I did it til about Spring Break last year. What made me stop for a while was that I found what I thought was a perfect guy. He told my I had to stop and I did. But then he started play mind games with me and then dumped me. So I went back to it. I can't stop. Its impossible. Each time it gets deeper and deeper. Im just hoping I don't go to far.
- erin

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 12:24:14 PM
okay,ive been a cutter for a little over 3 years now. i am 14 years old. i lost my dad when i was two so i have had no father figure. me and my other dont really have that good of a relationship. i cant trust her. i will tell her something and she goes and tell her friends. they start talking about it then the whole town knows. when people talk about me i get very let down and i feel like im not good enough to be in this world. when i do bad i cut or even when my friends kinda yell at me i feel the need to cut. i guess i have this probalem because i wanna feel pain for all the bad things i do. i listen to you every sunday on 95.5 in lufkin,texas. i do believe i am addicted. i wish i could stop. listening to you talk and reading your blogs help me in away. thanks dawson(:
- kandace

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 11:36:35 AM
What do you do when you have a mean girl situation, like when there is a girl who just really doesn't like you and will do a lot of mean things just to get at you?
- Grace

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 11:27:11 AM
I have been a cutter for about a year. School bullies are a small reason. But it's mainly my dad. He wants me to be like him so mad, but I dont want to be. Him and my mom fight all the time, but now I am in the fights now. So I cut to relieve the pain and darkness in my soul..
- Ryne

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 10:13:56 AM
i cut myself for years but it didnt get bad until about last year. my dad is what you might call a drunk and my brother has had many attempted suicides because of it. i was raped by my boyfriend a few months ago and cutting just helps because its a differnt pain. after a while it becomes an addiction. i cant go more than a day with out it. i learned to love the pain because at least i know im doing it to myself and not my dad or my boyfriend im 13 and i know its not right but ive become addicted
- michelle

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 1:57:19 AM
i cut and it does make u feel alive but when i look back and ask why i cut and what for? i have no answer. i am bi polar (how ever you spell it) and i have big time mood swings, huge depression for nothing at all, and anger, at my school we have a huge group of bi polar kids and we turn to each other when we have no else. i was dignosed with ADD and ADHD when i was just 2 years old! and that grew more and more i have problems with telling people whats wrong with me (sometimes they just walk away and let me be) wich i thank them later for leaving me alone. and i have cuts on my arms rite now! 3 days old. i hate my self i wish something would happen 2 me, but when i look at all the kids who have been abused and torn 2 peices im pretty lucky none of that has happened 2 me. but years of keeping my emotions in and they are boiling out, i told my mom i might expolde and go crazy. rain (my friend at school) said she doesnt cut anymore but,... she stabs her wall and i cant do that so i have no other way 2 get it out, im a new cutter i begun back in agust (cant spell that either) but i look forward 2 getting help now.
- catherine

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 1:07:00 AM
i know someone who cuts his name is draye he is my friend whitney's ex boyfriend and he cuts because he hates his last name i hate it for him because i know it has to be painful. so i would like to have some advice to give to him because he doesn't need to do that because he will later on regret it when he is older
- kaitlyn

Thursday, Oct 15, 2009 - 1:06:06 AM
I cut to feel in control.
- Esme

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 10:36:27 PM
I started cutting when i was 11 because i was sexually abused by my moms boyfriend and she didnt believe me..a little while later i was sexually abused by her boyfriends brother..i stopped cutting when i was 13, i am now 14 and i almost started cutting again this year because i thought no one felt the pain i went through until i heard your show and it stopped me..thanx
- Kayla

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 1:45:35 PM
Some people might not like it, but i actually think it helps. I don't have friends, my mother is constantly telling my i'm fat and worthless, her boyfriend takes everything out on me because he can't do a d**n thing on his own or for himself, and i get treated bad at school for wearing "skinny jeans" and "too many bracelets" and "screamo band t-shirts". Its my choice what i wear and what music i like, so why should i get picked on? Its my mom's boyfriends fault he's a worthless s**, so why does he scream at me? It's my mother's fault for having a child, so why am i blamed? Cutting helps me get on with my life, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it.
- JustSomeGirl

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 12:50:20 PM
i started when i was 12...now im bout 15 and see first i started becuz i wnted 2 show off 2 the other kids at school but thn i began 2 do it when i was mad, depressd, alone or even jus 2 do it. but the thing diffnt about me is i stick saftey pins under my skin, rip them out afterward, burn my skin, tie wires around my wrist so it wuld cut in deep enough....jus recently i slit myself so deep it went under all the layers of skin, i did it under my watch but on the outside of my arm........the skin grew bac in now but theres some other thngs i did becuz of som thngs...dawson i been wanting 2 talk 2 u for weeks and weeks now, thngs at home jus keep geting worse and worse...dawson plz i want 2 talk 2 u
- Alex

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 2:49:26 AM
I don't cut, i burn. Im too scared of knives so i use salt and ice to the point where i have really bad burns that take weeks to heal and leave bad scars. But i can identify with everything you wrote. I have anger problems and i have no idea how to express them. I play football, which helps, but when im alone and have nothing to do my emotions drive me to hurt myself. My anger is mostly towards my parents and my self becuz i know im messing up my life. I have used alchohal and been sexually active, something I vowed to never do this young. But i think under all the anger is a deep sadness the came from my parents divorce and my family problems.
- Heather

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 2:48:05 AM
But most people don't relise its an adiction and you can't stop out of the blue. Then they yell at you and make it worse. I have asked for help but all every one says it just stop and its not that easy
- Kayla

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 2:14:49 AM
I used to laugh at the people who said they cut themselves. I thought they were being foolish and they only wanted attention. Then one day, I just kept fighting with everybody. The next day it only got worse, and so on until I just couldn't take it any more. I had lost all my friends, my boyfriend, and my family even started avoiding me. It broke my heart so much, and I decided to try cutting. The release it gave me, helped me cope with stress, and I managed to keep it hidden. Later I started experimenting, and it wasn't just slashes and cuts I would make. I decided to start carving "Pain" and "Weakness" into coverable areas of my body. I had figured that these visable reminders would let me know why no one loved me anymore. Unfortunately, I now have these scars that one day, my kids are going to see, and I'll have to explain to them why they are there. I have been free for almost a whole year now, but sometimes life is tempting me to go back. The best way to stop, is just surround yourself with people who will look out for you and take care of you. If you feel loved, you wont feel as much pain.
- Kitty

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 1:38:47 AM
started cutting when i was 12ish. stopped for a while. but started again recently. it got so bad, that last time i went to the doctor for my bad heart, the doctor saw my arms on accident. now they're making me go to a therapist. its not helping at all. just cant seem to trust her. or anyone at all. wish people wouldnt freak out, only cut, cause it only hurts me. they should be happy that i'm not taking my anger or pain out on them. usually do it only places no one can see. was stupid to do it on my arms, usually wear long shirts, just couldnt that day. ugh. and real cutters, they dont do it for attention, actually the opposite. we do it to not involve anyone else. -rebecca
- rebecca

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 1:16:55 AM
I have started cuting myself but it wasnt on my arm it on my foot so i try to cover it so no one willl no or see that i do. because like i dont cry in front of people so i try to cover it up
- brooke

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 1:04:49 AM
hey dawson... two of my bestfriends killed theirselves within two months of each other. my parents think i will do it next because im not social anymore and never go around them. i have these nightmares about killing myself. i understand why everyone cuts... its an escape. you feel... relieved somehow. i grew up around cutting (my two sisters). i just wish my parents could help me without being so judgemental
- Jourdyn

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 1:02:38 AM
I have never been sexually abused or anything like that. my parents have a good relationship. so nothing is really wrong in that area. I am homeschooled and absolutely hate it! I talk to my mom about going to school but she is 100% against that because she has had three kids that have graduated from homeschooling and one that is going to this year and they have all love it. I am not close to my family at all I really don't like them. I constantly think about running away. I am really depressed and hate myself so I cut. It feels so good and it's something I can control about my life so I go to is time and time again. When I fight with my mom or sister (which is everyday) then I will just walk away and got to my room and engrave words on my legs. no one knows about this because I just hide it with a smile. I am so dead on the inside and just hate everyone and everything.
-

Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 - 12:14:27 AM
My name is Kandace. I'm 14 years old and have been cutting since I was about 9. Me and my mother have no kind of relationship and I always feel like she puts her boyfriends infront of me. She yells and screams at me for little reasons. I cry and I need to feel pain. I cut to feel the pain. I wish and pray I could stop. I let little things get to me and I cut when I do something wrong. Sometimes in life I feel like I'm not good enough to be in this world. My friends tell me to stop and they care about me. I need help. Just someone to talk to. Please email me if someone can help me get thru this and to talk to me.
- Kandace B.

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 8:49:48 PM
Hello Dawson. I am 12 years old, and i turn 13 October 22, I listen to other peoples story's at nigh whenever i can, sometimes i find myself angry or crying. I am very shy, so i never do call you and ask for your advice, but i would like to email you and tell you my story at any time. nobody knows my story but me, and i'm tired of holding it in when i could always find someone like you to talk to. please do the best you can to email me soon. thanks. love always, ---Meagan H.
- meagan h.

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 6:25:37 PM
I starting cutting when I was 12,I was depressed,I thought of suicide a lot but to chicken to go through with it.I stopped cutting around the time I was 13.I'm 14 about to turn 15 and recently I had started again cause I missed it so deeply and I had changed into a person I did not like.I was not/am not as happy as I use to be.So I started to do it again,was not long before I got mad and said something about it when my friend freaked out.The next day after he had cooled down and I had cried for the night,I told him,I promised I wouldn't do it anymore.But the craving is still there.I want to do it again,I just can't stand hurting the people around me.And I'm so afraid of doing it again,and just breaking that promise I'm trying to keep.I hate it.I really do.
- Meleah

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 2:38:10 AM
I've been cutting for about five years. I keep everything inside and cutting lets me release it all out. This is the way i've learned to cope. When you've known something for so long its hard to turn your back. I always know cutting is there, its not gonna leave me its always there for me. I'm straight up addicted. I've tried so many times to stop, but its like everytime I threw my razor away there was a new one laying in its place. It's not something that just go's away.
- Brandy

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 2:10:20 AM
I have never been sexually abused or anything like that. my parents have a good relationship. so nothing is really wrong in that area. I am homeschooled and absolutely hate it! I talk to my mom about going to school but she is 100% against that because she has had three kids that have graduated from homeschooling and one that is going to this year and they have all love it. I am not close to my family at all I really don't like them. I constantly think about running away. I am really depressed and hate myself so I cut. It feels so good and it's something I can control about my life so I go to is time and time again. When I fight with my mom or sister (which is everyday) then I will just walk away and got to my room and engrave words on my legs. no one knows about this because I just hide it with a smile. I am so dead on the inside and just hate everyone and everything.
-

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 1:45:22 AM
I've had a lot of problems with cutting. It was the worst while I was on antidepressants. They made me feel so dead on the inside. When I would cut, I would see the blood and feel the pain, so it let me know I was really alive on the inside... not like a constantly drugged zombie walking around. I've gotten past it and stopped, but I struggle with it every time I fall back into depression. I'm off the meds, but still struggle with depression on a daily basis. It is an addiction, but like any other addiction, it can be conquered. It will be hard, but it can be done.
- Stephanie

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 1:39:26 AM
Hi Dawson, I am 22 years old and have been cutting but at times see it very inpossible. I am being overwhelmed with depression and the pain/hurt over since I was a little girl by my dad always telling me I couldn't reach my goals and be who I really want to be. I always been put down in everysource that you can think about. I always give everything of me and at times don't know how to put limits to things, or people and always give everything of me and i end up getting hurt. At times i feel very unwanted and worthless. Am trying to overcome this and by lisening to you has help me alot thank you so much.
- Jasmine

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 1:26:42 AM
i just recently cut myself. Earlier today to be exact. And my reason was sorta mentioned, sure i feel alone. That's part of it the other part was the fact it relieved me of my emotional problems. And i also cut myself because i have bottled up my depression for the past 5 years.
- alexis

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 1:25:00 AM
"As you tell your story, you are coming out of your emotional hiding place and saying you don’t want these horrible feelings to have control over you any longer. I am moved by your bravery." lol. Seriously?!?, You think talking about is all it takes? That it even means something? I've formed many a word in my life. Some of which were in front of ignorant morons trying to help me at certain times. Those words did not change my feelings about myself. Why does most everyone say its about pain? They don't include the inner crazy, the numbness.. nor the fact that its great. One said she couldnt feel the pain she just wanted to see more blood. Duh, its a high. It literally is like a drug. I feel it at first n my mind blocks it out for me.. the actual current pain of it. The later pain is great though. I even cut harder sometimes to b sure its worse. And it was Never for attention.. in fact i have always hated attention.. hence, the time i was.. "caught" so-to-speak n the word-forming en-sued. Hating yourself does not always have to b caused by some deeper reason either. My parents didnt neglect me.. I could say nothing bad about them.. esp. my mom. I had friends n for those who didnt like me.. oh well. I'm not gonna boo-hoo about it. Its just.. me. I am 23 n I started at like 13 i dont remember exactly.. it isnt a prize i marked upon my calendar.. just something that began n became a Part of me.. I stop n continue again. I have almost stopped entirely now.. for the small things in my life that i hold most dearly to me. But on those really rare occasions when the small things are gone a long while.. sometimes i am able to just b me n ALL the parts of me come into play. I used to do it more conspicuously not for attention but b/c it actually feels different in different areas of my body. I actually miss it when I can not do it. I feel the loss of it n return to it gladly. Perhaps I am just insane on the inside. Luckily, tis on the inside.
- Lynn

Tuesday, Oct 13, 2009 - 1:16:51 AM
um i use to cut all the time because i was living with my real dad at the time and he was treating me like the slave of the house and would treat my step brother and step sister a lot better. and i had finally moved away from him to my real moms...but now im back at his house so i can graduate high school this year...im affraid that i may start cutting again. should i have moved back in with him or should have i stayed with my mom??
- brittney c.

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 9:34:04 PM
Hey Dawson, I listen to you every week, and after my first two months of listening to you I finally went to your website. This is the first thing i went to. My Best friends cut, influencing me too. I started cutting, my freshman year in highschool sucks. I'm adopted, was sexualy abused by my bio brother when I was younger than 3, and has affected ever since i saw him for the time since he tried to protect me from sending me away from him and a foster home. He knew we were going to be seperated so he hit the foster mom and was sent away. When I turned 5 I was moved to a home in Hillsboro, KS. I was adopted into that home when I was 5, I am 14 now, and still cry myself to sleep at night thinking about being sexually abused and molested by my brother whom hit my foster mother trying to protect me. I don't know what to do. Can you help me?
- Katie C.

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 3:34:00 AM
I am so glad you actually got to the bottom of cutting. As a 12 year old I began cutting myself. I am now 22 and no longer do it. I quit when i was about 18 only because I recieved counseling and worked through the issues i was cutting away. Finally someone understands that people don't cut to gain attention. I did it to try and cut away my tortured past. I was raped and molested by men close to me and cutting was a way I could escape. I had the control of the blade they didn't. It was the only thing i felt like I had any type of control of in my life. I am so sick of people saying it's only for attention. Real cutters seldom cut where anyone will see as my breasts, thighs, ankles, and ribs show I didn't do it in the obvious places. so thank you for understanding why young teens do it.
- Nat

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 2:34:57 AM
I started to cut myself when i was 14. I stop for a couple of years but i started doing it again this year. My parents are going through a process of divorce and i didn't knew how to deal with it. I didn't wanted anyone to talk to me about what was going on and i just wanted to be left alone in my pain. I got really angry at my mom for leaving me, so i started cutting myself. When i did it, i felt so relieve and my anger washed away. Now when ever my dad talks to me about what is going on, i go to my room and i start cutting myself. For some reason when i see my blood, i feel that i did something good and i like it. I dont feel the pain, i just want to see more blood. Its a way to relieve my anger and sadness faster.
- Denisse

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 2:09:29 AM
I cut, because im so alone. I know i have my friends and family, but the one person want to care, seems like he doesn't. and its slowly killing me inside. i have thought about suicide more than once, and have attempted twice. My Dad is the one who sees like he doesn't care. seems like no matter what i do, i can't gain his approval, and i try so hard, and he doesn't notice. i don't know what to do! Im losing my frien over my cutting, but i don't know how to stop. when i get angry, i cut. when i get sad, i cut. i can't control it. help me... please..
- Liz

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 1:59:59 AM
I started cutting a few weeks ago. The people i know are very disapointed in me. Telling me i need help. That just adds to the pain. All but 2 of my friends have not left me. I cut because i feel like i can take out my lonelyness, pain, anger, and depression out on me. I feel like its my fault. I hate my life because i dont look normal. Thats why i started and now i cant stop. I think that if i don't get help i could end up in the hospital but i do know how or what to ask and say.
- whitney

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 1:58:48 AM
I started cutting myself to punish myself and it's just continued from there. I cut because I feel like I deserve it and it's the only way for me to "learn my lesson". I haven't cut in a few months, but sometimes I'll go months or even a year without it, but I always go back to it in the end. It's triggered by fights with my mother, my boyfriend, my sisters or even if I do other things I know I shouldn't do. Not a lot of people know, or if they did know they probably thought I stopped a long time ago. I started on my upper arm, but now I've moved down to my forearms and it's starting to really scar. I never enjoy doing it... but when I look at my scars I'm reminded of my "lessons". And, I know it's sick, but I like the way it looks. I know I'm too far gone.
- Carley

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 1:15:03 AM
There is no reason to use the excuse that you wanna go back to drug use because there are facilities to help. Yes it might be a 2wk. Period for new enrollees. But they can help u get to the right direction by taking u to school. Having job testing to know your strenghths and weakness.then start going to weekly meetings to express what's bothering u . The next step is to leave all the worries behind u. Remember and ask for forgiveness from all people they done wrong. This is how you start over for the best outcome.
- dorando t.

Monday, Oct 12, 2009 - 12:17:52 AM
I think your right. Some of those reasons explain me. I am able to figure out why I cut and try to stop it. I cut out of anger srom my mother. I cut from the lonelyness of missing my father. I am an angry loner. your blog has helped me figure this out and stop cutting.
- nikki

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 11:52:23 PM
I belive all of these reasons...I am a cutter..my dad abused me for years ana my mom was a drugie who didnt really care...I am now in foster care and I hate my life..but i must honestly say nothing my dad ever did to me physically hurts as bad as wat he did to me emotionaly. Emotional pain is a burden that never goes away. Bruises heal and scars fade, but when you get put down enough in your life you believe in it. Feeling crappy is like a religious belief to some, and cutting myself takes my view off of what is hurting inside and brings it to the outside. I am 15 yrs old and have been cutting myself since i was 7 (when the abuse started) and I hate myself. It is an addiction, and if you go wothout cutting you have things like withdrawls, but you just get uneotionally stable. When i started cutting it started out as just little scratches, and then it got to where i wld start using razor blades, then it went to knives. We wouldnt feel so much pain if we didnt have all the people out there putting us down because we just wanna be ourselves. This world is cruel and twizted, and life is a game which not everyone wins. The abuse cases are going sky hugh and have excelled over the years. Instead of trying to get us kids into taking meds and stuff TAKE CARE OF OUR PARENTS...bc to tell u the truth if we are messed up in the head..or as my therapist says not mentally stable, then why do u think we are like this. There is this whole big ordeal abt people cutting thierselves. HOw abt instead of putting us in hospitals and stuff take those people out there who rape and melaste kids and kill everyone and put them in the hospitals and test out drugs on them. We didnt have a choice to be born into the families we were born into. And we couldnt control wat our parents did. But ya say we can control our actions on cutting ourselves. What if you are lost and have no hope. Wat are u gonna do then. I say that we dont cut for attention that we cut to help ourselves. And if you are not a cutter or have ever been a cutter. Then you havent been through hell and back like we have. So why are you trying to give everyone advice abt wat we should do if u have never been in our place.
- Jewelia V. L.

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 11:31:28 PM
I just started cutting cause life is way to stressful. I just started feeling like i am all alone in life.
- r@h

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 11:01:33 PM
Hi Dawson, I am 15 years old and have been cutting for a year now. I cut when i am being overwhelmed with depression and the pain/hurt over something that happened. the reason why i cut is because i would rather feel the pain on the outside rather than on the inside. It helps get my mind off of the pain that built up inside of me
- annonymous

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 11:01:22 PM
people cut for many different reasons i cut sometimes because.. im bisexual and sometimes its hard to deal with and im also bipolar.
- David

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 10:23:42 PM
I'm Eleven, And My Friends Started Tew Cut, I Asked Them Why, And They Gave Me Most Of The Reasons Yuh Gave Me. (Theyre 12,13,and14) So Once, I Was Depressed, I Decided Tew Try It. Stupid I Know. I Cut Way Tew Deep After That And, I Ended Up In The Hispitol. I Wont Stop. I'm 14 Now. I Siriously Need Some One Tew Vent My Feelings..
- Cat

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 9:31:53 PM
I am addicted to cutting myself because (according to my therapist) I am angry inside at everyone and everything, especially myself. I do it to punish myself for either my, or others mistakes/issues. The urge to cut my wrist is like having an itch and not being able to scratch it..so much anger and emotion inside me boils it's horrible..I've attempted suicide twice and cut on a relatively regular basis as well as considered smoking grass especially because I now smoke cigarettes..I am 15 years old, 16 in 4 months
- Tyler

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 9:27:34 PM
dear Dawson, I am 13 and I cut until about 2 months ago. I cut because of all the eotional pain that i have one night it got so bad that i said i was gonna kill myself and the next day my friends tod the school counselor and she called my mom and so not only did i have to start going to counseling like every day i got put on suicide watch which made me want to cut more! the emotional pain came from many things including: my grandpa dying, really complicated relationships,some of my close friends abandoning me because i wouldnt do what they wanted me to (drugs, drink,etc..) and then my mom is an alchoholic and she gets drunk every night and then yells at me and blames me for things that weren my fault, she also called me some pretty nasty names and she would tell me to go to hell when i yelled back at her. and then i had people goin around spreadin rumors around school about me cutting myself and someone walked up to me and said,"why dont you just kill yourself already nobody likes you!" and i started bwlin and went home that night and just sat in my room all night and cut myself rrepeatedly. that continued over thte summer then during the first week at school i made a new friend and the most surprising thing is that he is a jock and i was an emo and he asked me why i cut myself, i just said because i have alot of problems and life is complicated and he said so is mine but i find better ways to deal with it so tell me exactly why you cut and so i told him the whole story ,a complete stranger and here i am tellin him more than most of my friends knew. i guess i really needed to talk to somebody! so anyway he convinced me to throw everything away.he is now my best friend, we never fight, and he helps me when something happens he helps me through it so that i dont go back to cutting. and i felt happier the second my blades hit the bottom of the dumpster. i dont cut anymore and i still go through depressing times but i have other ways to cope with it i am perfectly happy! and i have friends that understand what i used to do and they still want to be my friends i found out that even if my mom doesnt love me doesnt mean i dont have friends that do =)
- annonymous

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 8:59:21 PM
I believe that people cut to get out pain that they have in a negative way. Its a way to express their feelings and hurt with out talking to others or writting and people finding what they are feeling. People cut just to let out what ever they need to let out at the time. Its just a way of expression but in a negative harmful way towards them selves and/or others
- Erica o.

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 8:45:06 PM
How do you control uncontrolable anger?
- Hannah

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 6:29:22 PM
I don't want to do this I feel crazy ,sick.
- De

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 5:55:20 PM
hey dawson, well i started cutting about 3yrs ago, i had never been sexually abused or anything.. i have a very lovely&supportive family, but i still feel depressed most of the time, i feel like im far of what my parents&family expected me to be, and i know that if i get grounded its my fault, and i know that im bad to them and thats why i think i cut myself, because i know that im hurting the people that i love without even noticing it... it is so true that the physical pain helps overcome the emotional pain, but i know its not healthy, i know that im destroying myself little by little but i just cant stop, and it gets worst each time... please dawson, im afraid, i dont know how far i can get like this... for many your the only hope and thats what you are for me. since my ''supportive'' family think that i just want attention, but i just need help to heal and stop hurting myself so bad... p.s i called the hope line on sep 29, talked to eric this hopecoach, pleasee dawson i know its hard but if you know him thank him for me cause he helped me a lot that night.. and thank you you too... for helping millions of teens.. god bless you and your awesome staff.
- ximena

Sunday, Oct 11, 2009 - 12:39:00 AM
I am 18 years old. All my life I have been surrounded by cutters (my older sister). I started cutting when I was 13 because my dad sexually abused me. My friends have reported me to the school counselor many times and he calls my mom and then tells me to grow up. I still do not get how growing up has to do with this and why cutting yourself is such a bad thing. Odviously if you meant to kill yourself then you would have done it in the first place.I cut because it's all I know to do. It's how I learned to deal with problems. The razor blade seems like the only thing that listens to me.
- Chelsea

Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 - 11:22:55 PM
I cut every day.. I think that it relieves the pain.. I was raped at the age of 11, 12, and 13 by my step father and i cut because of him... I know what its like not having a father aroung.. Ill be 18 in a couple of days and still no father... I will always be a cutter.
- Brittany

Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 - 9:02:02 PM
I used to cut because I had so many problems in my life... After a while I didn't feel it anymore. it was just like I was used to it. It doesnt help it just causes pain and leaves scars that causes you to remember all the reasons you used to cut. making you want to do it all over again
- elizabeth

Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 - 4:51:27 PM
Self harm for me is a way to escape from my thoughts. My mind can rage with all these terrible things that have happened and cutting slows it all down and makes it dissapear. It's like magic but leaves you with a visual saying " this was what you did but it wasn't the right thing" when you break from it. Now I'll be stuck with 25 scars saying that. So many stressors have made me cut. Disastors too. School stress, friend betrayal, depression, grief, and stress of society have all contributed to me cutting. It only helps for 2 minutes but leaves you scarred for years. It's not the way and that first cut leaves you addicted. Never do it. Everything changes when the secret gets to the right people. It put me in a foster home and DHS controling my family. Cutting and other issues did. Don't do it. Plz.
- Dorothy

Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 - 2:59:17 PM
Rebecca, I am 15. I have been cutting for over 2 years, I know it is bad. You should know that too. Just think, when you get older and people see all those scares they are going to ask questions because face it, the world is nosey. You can't hide it forever, I am even shocked that I havn't been caught yet... but it does hurt people around you, not just yourself, because wether you know it or not there are people who care about you and they dont want to see you in pain. I hate seeing anyone in pain even if i dont know them. Cutting is a cry out for help. You need to find someone to confide in.
- Jess

Saturday, Oct 10, 2009 - 10:30:01 AM
hey dawson, i have been cutting for 21 years now, and am now seeking help for my cutting, i started becaue i thaught that that was the only way to deal with my problems, and with my feels but its not the way to deal with your feeling and emotions at all because i was rejected alot by people in school, and i lost alot of my really close friends do to my self-injury, and i suffer from whats called borderling personality disorder its a major depressive disorder, and it brings on alot of the slef-harming thaughts and your emotions come on very fast and u have to learn how to reganize and know when those thaughts and felings occur because if u don't catch them fast enough then u end up cutting yourself or doing other things that u regrect doing. and i just want to say to all of the teenagers out there who are struggling with cutting or suicide or whatever it is that you are going through right now is that god will help u through it u just have to have faith in in and that is what has kept me alive this long and get good supports in your life and if you're have trouble finding that u can talk to your pastor, or councelro at school, and i really encourge u to get help and to find those people who support u. If i can get through cutting the so can u guys i have faith in you guys!!!
- stacey rozeboom

Friday, Oct 9, 2009 - 8:07:42 PM
I need someone to please tell me what is so wrong with cutting yourself? I mean come on, you are not hurting anyone else, its just a way for you to deal with your emotions and anger. I am 18, and have been cutting for 1 year. It started when I watched my friend die right in front of my eyes because i was too stunned and cowardly to go get help. I was driving 80mph and lost control of the car and flipped. I know that maybe cutting aint the way to deal with this, so please!! Someone, even Dawson, tell me what i can do to stop this cutting??
- Rebecca

Friday, Oct 9, 2009 - 1:01:42 PM
self-harm as nothing to do with beeing suisidle or haveing mental problems its (in my case) a mask for my emotions.....a 5 second resort for myself :)
- nash