How To Quit Cutting

By learning new ways of dealing with your emotional pain, you will finally be able to give up this horribly destructive addiction.

Here we are again, talking about issues that are difficult to discuss, but must be brought up. The more we try to hide them, the more power they have over our lives and the more difficult it is to break free. There is a lie about cutting, and just about every addiction. That lie simply says: Cutting is your friend. Cutting is not your friend. It appears to offer you relief from the pain you’re feeling, and no doubt it does temporarily, but in the end it only leaves you feeling worse, yet craving for more. You’re stuck with a body full of scars, and a heart full of secrets. You probably feel like nobody really cares what’s going on inside of your head. And even if they did, you wouldn’t know the words to use to describe what you’re feeling.

I truly believe your feelings of pain which led you to cutting in the first place, are real. But cutting is never going to give you the true relief you are looking for. It will only make things worse. If you want to quit cutting, you have to realize it’s not wrong to be in emotional pain. The problem is you’re trying to fix your emotional hurt with something that only causes more hurt. That’s why cutting doesn’t deliver on its false promise.

Is there a better way to fix the emotional hurt you are feeling? YES!!!!! By learning new ways of dealing with your emotional pain, you will finally be able to give up this horribly destructive addiction. So…how do you do this?

You can’t find the light while hiding in the dark. Cutters are hiders.

1. Come out of hiding. This first step may be the hardest, but you need to tell someone about your cutting. Your secrets are only making matters worse. You can’t find the light while hiding in the dark. Cutters are hiders. Their closet, so to speak, is their safe haven. It’s time to come out. Find someone you can trust. A good place to start may be a doctor, a school counselor, a minister, a relative, or a friend. Jacqueline said this is what has helped her: “Even if you are unsure when and how the pain started—TALK!!!!”

This person will help you describe your pain, even if you don’t know what to say. As you start talking about your feelings in a safe environment you will learn new words you were afraid to use (or maybe never taught to use) before. Such words as: I’m angry, afraid, lonely, ugly, desperate, etc. Over time, you will sort through your intense feelings, heal past hurts, and find new ways to grow stronger and deal with life’s problems in healthy ways. Raven said this worked for her: “I quit cutting [a year ago] and found that I didn’t need the pain anymore. I've gone to counseling for this past year and after talking out the true reason I was hurting myself, I found that I didn’t need to anymore.”

Breaking the pattern of cutting, means learning how to recognize the triggers, and deal with them before you choose to hurt yourself.

2. Discover and break your pattern of cutting. What are the places, situations and people that trigger your desire to cut? These desires can seemingly come out of the blue. The fact of the matter is, those triggers unleash the craving in your mind to cut. Breaking the pattern of cutting, means learning how to recognize the triggers, and deal with them before you choose to hurt yourself. Your counselor will help you quickly think about how to redirect both your emotions and your cutting when a trigger occurs. In time, you will become an expert to the deep emotions that boil up inside of you, and scream that you medicate them by cutting. The earlier you recognize these emotions and what causes them, the easier it is to deal with them in a healthy way. The problems you are facing may not go away right away, but at least you will see more clearly on how to deal with them.

Ashley said: “The sad part is, the things and reasons that were making me do this [cutting] have not stopped. So I wasted all that time hurting myself for no reason. While everyday is a challenge, everyday that I don’t harm myself, I’m one day closer to being fully recovered.”

When you trust God to heal your deepest hurts and emotional pain, He will step in and start helping you turn your entire life around.

3. Seek God. For many of you, it will take a miracle for you to quit cutting. Miracles come from God. There is hope for you—even if you think it will be impossible for you to quit your cruel cutting habit. It’s going to take a true spiritual transformation. Not only are you going to need to retrain your brain from thinking cutting is helping you, but you’re going to need to realize you are powerless, and in need of help. Only a deep, meaningful relationship with God can truly set you free. Instead of working on your addiction to cutting, it’s time to begin working on your relationship with God.

God made you and loves you more than you or I will ever know. He wants you to know Him, and He wants to help you overcome your addiction to cutting. God will give you the strength you need to do this. When you trust God to heal your deepest hurts and emotional pain, He will step in and start helping you turn your entire life around. One blogger anonymously wrote: “I still fight the urge to hurt myself when things are hard. I still carry the scars. But I've learned that God heals, and that His love is a much better relief from the hurt. There is hope.”

So now that you’ve decided you want to quit cutting, how do you fight the urge when it comes up? That’s what I’m going to write about next week. Please share with me how you fight the urge to cut. I want to hear from you. Thank you.

Wednesday, Nov 4, 2009 - 5:33:53 PM
This is very helpful. My skin has been cut free for a few months now. It's a tough habit to break. But with help you can conquer.
- Emmie

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 11:48:15 PM
I cut and the only reason I don't even though I want to is because I hate to think of the pain it causes my best friend.
- Naye

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 10:38:15 PM
Hello Dawson. I just want to say alittle. I came to your page because my friend suggested it because I cut. And I was on the home page and saw the summary for you blog and it caught my eye. I saw it mentioned cutting and I feel as if I'm living in the dark, constantly hiding from all problems. But see I don't talk about my problems alot, because I know there are worse ones out there. I don't know, it's sorta hard for me to open up, but I'll try. Yes I cut and I have since the fifth grade, and I am now in nineth, I do it for relief and yes it gives it to me momentarily till I have to continue to do it to keep getting that same relief. I want to stop, I really do, but I can't. You see, I have a very low self asteam brought on by me having to live up to my sister and walk in her shoes. She was always everything I wasn't she was homecoming queen, prom queen, popular, but she was also a druggie and her and my parents would always agrue so home wasn't the best. Then, at school everyone compared me to her mainly by looks, she was tall, I am short, She was tan, I am pale, She is skinny, I am tuby, She is beatiful, and I am not. People used to constantly come up to me and say stuff like "Your sister is drop dead gorgeous, what the hell happened to you?" and they still sorta do, just not as bad, so school sucked. And that is really when I got my start in fifth grade. I have realized out of all the people that have stabbed me in the back, hurt me, or walked out on me that knife has always been there. At least, that is what goes on in my head. It's become so addictive it's practically second nature, I feel that when I get angry or upset that I have no control. Lately it has gotten worse though. Now each time I cut I cut up to thirty cuts. mainly on my legs though, no one sees them, no one askes, so I'm fine. And my biggest problem is I have some friends that I feel I get too close with, and I don't let people close to me so I push them away, I figure it's for the better. Except one friend who each time I try to push away he gets closer, and that is the friend that told me to talk to you. The reason I can't stop cutting, one of the big reasons anyway, is because I feel if I stop, then I have nothing left. That is my biggest resourse. And I don't want it to be, looking at current cuts I can see that each time I do it they get worse, one bigger then the other, one deeper then others. I am afraid of being alone. Each time I try to stop it only sends the urge to do it again. But worse. I look at my legs, scars on my wrist, some on my stomach and I see only regret, only causing me to do it again. But I do want to stop, I do! At least before it is too late. That is what I want, not what my head wants. Sorry if I typed to much. That is pretty much what goes on in my head and what I noticed.
- Taylor

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 8:32:23 PM
What trigger my urges to cut are my father. he's my trigger and I'm with him for at least 5 hours every day. He doesn't allow me to hang out with any of my friends, (isolates me) and then screams, yells, or lectures me for at least 3 hours everyday. He makes me feel like a loser and worthless. He does apologize at the end of the night, but continues to do it the next day. My mom always defends me and say's he does it because he loves me, but all i feel for him his loathe. And by hating him, it makes me hate myself. by hating myself it makes me want to hurt myself, to get the momentary high. Urges do pop up from nowhere too, though. and it's hard to fight that urge when you best friend is in your pocket saying "just one cut won't hurt.. imagine how good you'll feel. you know you want it, you know you need it." as much as you don't want to cut sometimes, a far greater part of you needs it, and that's what makes me cut. I'm only 14, and started when i was 13, but it's so relieving you just can't stop. and then you hate yourself for not being strong enough to control yourself.
- Jordan

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 7:54:18 PM
I have just recently started cutting. The first time that I did I could not believe how fast the darkness took over, and I had 6 cuts on my leg. I told my therapist what had happened, I had said so many times that I wouldn't do something stupid, and I did... I knew that the cuts only made me feel worse about myself and I promised to call her before it happened again. I didn't call, and it did happen again. I see how it can become an addiction and how the darkness can control me. What's worse is that I see, I understand, I know, but there are still times that the pain is so deep, and the darkness so thick, that I would do anything for this life to end.
- Mary W

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 5:50:07 PM
I used to cut myself when i was in junior high, but when i started my senior year in high school, i realized, i was making a big mistake. i thought that i needed this pain to help me through life, but that i was just being stupid.. so if your still cutting, STOP! it's not worth it in the long run..
- Kelly

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 12:30:28 PM
I just started cutting last year and do it occasionally when im really upset with life. I feel like if i tell somebody theyre either going to think im a freak or theyre going to tell somebody else. I dont like cutting myself, but i dont know how to stop. It does make me feel better during the moment, but covering up the cuts from other people is a pain. I just dont know what to do
- Molly

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 12:46:57 AM
Hi Dawson:) I'm so glad you blogged about this! I've been struggling with this for so long. I've been cutting for almost 3 years and it may not be as long as some but it still sure has felt like eternity. Its to the point where I cut just so I can stop my mind from racing so I can sleep. I keep trying to get through everything alone, even when I know I can't. I have two amazingly close friends that keep reminding me to talk to God about it and it always helps, at least alittle. When I give in to my mind screaming at me, I make sure I tell the two friends I mentioned before so they can hold me accountable. I get rid of the blades and I give them to my friends so they can dispose of them for me. Thank you sooooo much for trying to help all of us dawson :) I can't tell you how much I appreciate the hope you've got.
- Amanda

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 12:00:40 AM
i am 15 and i have been cutting since i was about 10 and i dont know how to stop. i think the longest i have gone without cutting is 7 days. i really do want help. my mom found out last year and did nothing about it. so she thinks i have stoped and i do really well of hiding them. i have had someone ask me why do you do that to yourself. and i make stuff up so they wont know. but its getin really old so if you could just help me that would be amazing?!? :) -Nicole-
- Nicole

Tuesday, Nov 3, 2009 - 12:00:18 AM
I started cutting when I was 10 years old. I am now 18 and it has been 2 years since I've last harmed myself. I went to see 5 different counselors within 2 years and every one I went to go see would pass me off to another once I told them I was a self-harmer. I finally quit going to see the last counselor I was going to and decided that I didn't want to do that to myself anymore and I haven't cut since. When I first quit I was very self conscious about my scars because the majority of my friends and family didn't know, but know I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self destructive behavior. Everyday is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.
- Courtney

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 11:12:44 PM
I cut myself on a almost daily basis and I kept looking for a way to stop but the urge kept bitting at me when I get sad or angry but the one thing that has had me stoped for about a month now is rubber bands. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the ammount to want to cut yourself im not saying that the cutting urge goes away in the ammount of seconds but it does help out alot. and what helps more is realizing the wrong inside of cutting. and how much it doesnt only hurt you but the people around you who love and care about you.
- angel lynn

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 10:24:55 PM
I'm a little unsure what all to say. I've been a cutter for about two years. I had quit for about four months mainly to get my parents off my back. They found out through my sister after an incident where I cut too deep, freaked out, and told her about my habit. She told me I could go to a hospital where they would likely send me to a physc ward or I could let her tell my parents. I chose telling my parents. That was about a year ago. I saw a therapist for about four months. I guess it helped a little because it was during that time I was able to quit. Then things sorta got out of control again. I want to stop yet I don't. I come from a christian mennonite home. I used to be a firm believer in Jesus. I used to believe He was love and good and just. Now? I just don't know. So much hurt and pain in this life. God doesn't seem to be all He says He is. I don't know what to do with it all. So I cut. So I don't have to feel. My parents think everything is fine because I keep quiet. Not to brag, put myself up or to make my siblings look bad, but I've always been the good kid. I've never done drugs. I don't drink to get drunk.I respect my parents. Never have done time in jail. I'm 22 and still a virgin. I'm very involved in my church and my youth group. I do all this good stuff yet I feel so so empty. Feel so alone. I wonder if life is worth living. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I'm rather lousy at trying to say what I'm feeling. Talking isn't one of my gifts. I just want to know if there's more to life than feeling like this. Because if there isn't, then I want out. Thanks for listening.
- Amanda

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 8:04:00 PM
i been thru alot...but i started talking 2 my friends in cousins. When i showed them what i did they started crying, knowing i suffered for depression & other kinds of things.
- shyshy

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 3:16:57 PM
i reasd your blog, i cut to and i am really trying to quit it is very hard to do, i have done it forever i listen to your show every sunday nite. gotta go
- stephanie

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 1:30:39 PM
Ive self mutilated since i was in 6th grade, it went from cutting to burning, to cutting then burning it so it hides the scares better.. im now 18, and its got a little better, but like you said i get urges from NO WHERE. i dont do it nearly as much as i used too, but its the only thing that has been there for me, just to let me sleep at night, just to let me focus on something for a little while, other than whats wrong.. i dont think help is possible.. i read what you wrote above and its so inspiring but it all seems too good to be true. i dont see how someone telling me the reason i started cuting will help anything.. im willing to listen. thats all is left to do, i have been to counciling for it, but talking about it dont make my situations at home and at school change..
- Kayla K.

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 2:10:14 AM
I know people who cut their selves on regular basis. They say that it "takes away the pain", but i don't see how that's possible. I have removed myself from their influence but I still want people to pray for them. Please Keep Them In Your Prayers:)
- Melissa

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 1:29:14 AM
Im n need of help...ive been suffering from depression and nobody seems to care..my mother dosent care
- Jalesa

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 12:45:31 AM
I started cutting when i was 12. I am now 19. I havent done it in a while however I know its always there for me. My parents sent me to hospitals and doctors and I lost my faith in the fact that I can be helped. the only thing all the hospitals and doctors taught me was how to hide it better. I know I cut when I feel so much emotional pain I cant express it any other way when it hurts so bad that tears dont even come to my eyes. I need to know that something out there hurts worse than I do, and that that one thing I can control its like the saying when something hurts step on your toe and you forget that first pain. I dont know where the pain started or why all I know is after seven years it all runs together. HELP!
- Lanni

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 12:34:01 AM
I am seventeen years old and i just feel that the whole world is against me. i am a little different than everyone else. i am emo and i look a little different than everyone else. everyone discriminates against me and makes fun of me for the way i look and i get upset and end up cutting myself. and i feel that it helps at the time that i do it but it never takes the pain away. all it does is cause more problems for me and everyone else. i feel that i dont belong in this world. i have a perfect and beautiful fiance who i have been with for one year and six months now. i am scared that if i keep cutting i will lose her. the only problem is i cant stop. do you have any suggestions on how i can quit or do something other than cut? it would be really helpful and make my life a lot better. thank you and i really like your show. l8er. :-)eric.
- Eric R.

Monday, Nov 2, 2009 - 12:06:29 AM
Over the summer, i have made some new friends. this past few weeks i just found out they cut themselevs. I have been trying to get them into counseling, but they won't listen to me. On my one friends arm, there is so much cuts the first thing you see is the word "depressed" im really scared tht they will end up killing themselves. i just can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do
- emily

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 11:22:45 PM
I have been cutting since i was eight years old and i'm now twenty two years and i an still having problems with it i started it as a way to deal with things and it has grown over the years and now my little sister has started doing it and i don't know what to do cause i cann't tell her to stop if i'm doing it so i need some ideas
- Michelle

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 10:57:15 PM
I have been cutting for about 1 year and a few of my friends know and one of them has been trying really hard to help me stop. However the longest i have gone without cutting is about 15 days. My friend has recently stopped txting me and im worried wich caused me to start cutting again. I have had a huge problem with this and i dont kno what to do when to do it and how to stop.
- Morgan W.

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 10:48:32 PM
The reason I decided to stop is God in itself. Life hurts but God heals!! I have known God all my life but my best friend has shown me just how much he cares! He is the reason I stopped cutting. Yes I still relapse at times and go back to it, but I know He has a plan for me and I know I will be able to stop with Him!
- Kimmy

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 10:23:59 PM
When I was 17 I ended up cutting myself. I just couldnt deal with everything that was going on in my life. I was suffering verbal, and emotional abuse from my parents and I wasnt doing very well in school so it was so hard to take all of that in that I started cutting my arms. At that point in time it made me feel good because it was the only thing I could control. But in the morning I would look at my arms and kept telling myself how much of a bad person I was for doing it which led to more and more cutting. I found someone that I could confide it and trust and she made me stop cutting myself. I've been clean for a year. I still have urges and I will for a long time but I know where I hid my razor and when I have urges I just stare at it and tell myself I'm stronger than that now. I will always have scars but I'm glad I quit when I did.
- Brandy

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 9:57:37 PM
I've been a cutter for a year and a half and trying to quit cutting for a year and a half. It is such a struggle, but today I finally found a friend who I truly believe will totally be there for me when I need it, I've known everything you've said in your previous blogs on cutting, and am anxious to see if the way to fight that will click with me is in your blog next week. Thank you Dawson!
- Michaela

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 9:47:15 PM
I have been cutting since 7th grade im in tenth now, i quit for a year and now im back on. I normally do it when i am happy, for no reason but just to know that im alive and havent died and gone to heaven, because things begin to go so great. no body knows i started again, but Dawson you have helped me, i stopped beleiving in god for a while and after hearing your show and your testimony i began to believe agian. thank you. but my life has been turned around again, for the worse and my problem has been whenever happy or sad. i lost the only friend who could really help me through this and now i just dont know what to do.
- Kirsten

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 9:46:41 PM
Dawson this blog has helped me so much i've been cutting since i was 14, I am now 18 and it only seems to be getting worse. I have started scaring myself with some of the situations that i have put myself in with the cutting. I was so desperate and then i happened to stumble upon this blog. Thank you for taking the responsibility to talk about this while most people refuse to believe it's a problem, or that those who do it just seek attention. I can honestly say that if i wanted attention i would not be cutting myself with a blade. so sami lynn below this. People do not cut just for the attention, don't act like you know how people think if you've never been in that situation. Congratulations that you're to good of a christian to cut, humble as well. cutting is a serious problem that goes on the back burner with a lot of people. thank you dawson!!
- Dalene

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 5:57:27 PM
I have been cutting for 3 years, and last year i made the choice to quit, but now 11 months later it has become an issue for me again and i just dont know how, or where to start. it is a big part of me again.
- Kirsten B.

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 1:18:23 AM
Aha. Wow. Okay Yeah I toatally agree. Yourrr an amazzzzzzzing guy for advice. But I have never cut in my life. Dont get me wrong yes i have thought about it plenty of times, but i stop myself and think what am i going to do that for? More pain? Hmh. And sometimes i get so close to doing it but i push my self into stuff like. Im to good of a christan to cut, or like why would i hurt myself? It's not going to get anyone anywhere. Right? Most people that do it want attention. Right? Well that's what i think anyways. Love Ya! <3
- Sami Lynn<3

Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 - 1:12:26 AM
I was reading this because i, myself, have been a cutter. but i've quit a year ago and haven't in at least half a year. When i was reading through them i completely agree with all of them, although i never really came out about it, i did find what was causing me to do that and everything and i found that very helpful and as always, God has helped me so much though all of that and everything. But i just stopped by to say that i'm really glad that you made a blog about this and that it will really help people to quit. It's a terrible habit to have when you're having emotional pain.
- Madison

Saturday, Oct 31, 2009 - 11:35:07 PM
it's a great blog, but see for me everyone ask for my help and just ask for help would make me feel weak. i am a cutter i hate the pain i feel, i'll cut over anything it just a easy thing to do i guess
- Angelica

Saturday, Oct 31, 2009 - 11:07:47 PM
Hey Dawson,thanks, for everything. Ive been waiting for 5 years to figure out how to mend and stop my cutting days.i cut since i was 10 because i felt i wasn't worth it anymore. And i came this close to cutting too deep, but it was that night i first heard your show. And i felt as you were talking to me. It was you Dawson, who gave me hope. but once I stopped cutting, {this might sound stupid} I made myself cut one more time, not deep and for no reason, i did it just to see if i wanted to keep going, or stop for good. when i did,, i felt absolutly nothing. i knew thats no longer what i wanted. Nobody helped me but you, i was always too afraid to tell anyone of my secret, even my closest friends or family bcause i knew it would hurt them bad if they foundout, so i kept the secret and pain to myself. it only took one to stop. me. Thankyou so much Dawson I owe you my life. <3
- Sookie